Zombie Rules (Book 4): Destiny

by Achord, David

  Chapter 20 – Pot Luck

  “There are a total of seventeen people,” I told them as we prepared food for the pot luck supper. “Tonya is the de facto leader of the group. She’s easy to spot. She’s short, kind of shaped like a fire hydrant with a big ass, short gray hair, and constantly glares at everyone over her readers. She had a husband, a brother and a sister-in-law but they’re all dead. I'll fill you guys in on the details later." Kelly glanced at me knowingly. I kept going.

  “There’s Ward and his partner, Marc. They’re a salt and pepper couple who were psychologists back in the day. They can be bothersome at times with their ‘let’s all hold hands and sing campfire songs’ attitude, but otherwise they’re good people.

  “There’s Floyd, he’s a little bit on the country side with a bad arm and has a raging crush on Kelly. There’s Rhonda. She’s close to my age with strawberry hair and has become the mother figure for three orphan girls.” I thought for a minute and realized I still had not learned the names of those little girls, even though they pestered me nonstop whenever I was around.

  “There’s Gus. He’s easy to spot, he’s usually sitting on his ass and complaining about something. He has three kids too; two twin girls and his little boy, Vincent.”

  “Vincent is a little brat who could use a spanking or two,” Kelly commented with her nose wrinkled, like she caught a whiff of something offensive.

  “There’s Grant, he’s a doctor and a major in the Marines. Justin and Ruth are the other two Marines and they live across the street at the radio tower. Y’all will see it when we get there. And then there are two brothers about the same age as you two who call themselves Cutter and Shooter.”

  “Rhonda calls them Butter and Pooter,” Kelly said. The women broke out in laughter. I smiled. The two brothers reminded me of boys in high school who desperately wanted to be known as uber cool, craved attention, and would do almost anything to get it. They irritated me and I didn’t like either one of them, but kept it to myself. After all, I was hoping Kate and Kyra would develop an interest in them. It’d cause two things to happen; first, that one idiot, Cutter, would stop lusting after Kelly, and second, they would feel like they owed me because I hooked them up. Besides, being in the same house with all of these women was getting bothersome.

  “Anyway, I don’t think they’re bad guys, otherwise Tonya would have booted them long ago.”

  “Are you trying to play matchmaker?” Kate asked teasingly. Her intuition was spot on, but I shrugged innocently.

  “So, there are six kids, not counting your two kids?” Sarah asked. I nodded. “Wow, there may be hope for humanity yet.”

  “Will Jorge and his family be coming?” Kelly asked.

  “I hope so,” I said and then looked at the women. “A while back we met a man named Jorge and his sister, Maria. They seem like good people.” We chatted for several more minutes before Sarah stood.

  “I believe I’m going to jump in the shower,” she said.

  “Good,” I said and looked at my watch. “Let’s plan on heading out in three hours.”

  I waited patiently for my turn, which was last. Even Kelly went before me. Another thing about having four women in the house, by the time I got to the shower, all of the hot water was gone and it looked like four of my disposable razors had been used. All things considered, I didn’t complain. I had a particular fondness for Kelly’s silky smooth legs and I hoped the two sisters were fixing themselves up for the Butter Pooter boys.

  Not surprisingly, the school’s cafeteria was decked out with the same colorful crepe paper streamers, balloons, and 3d figures made out of paper scraps they used every time they had an event. The two docs were limited with what they had to work with, so I’m not certain they achieved the look they were hoping for, but it was still colorful.

  “What the hell,” Sarah muttered when we walked in.

  “Marc and Ward love to decorate,” Kelly replied with a grin.

  “It kind of looks like they hit the crack pipe before putting it up,” Kate said with a laugh. I shrugged.

  “You work with what you got, I suppose.” I looked around and spotted them back in the corner. Ward was on a stepladder, sticking one last streamer on the acoustic tile ceiling while Marc held it steadily and chided his mate to be careful. When he finished, he spotted us and waved merrily. Since my hands were full, I responded with a nod. Sarah scowled as she surveyed the rest of the room.

  “Alright everyone,” Kelly said and gestured. “Let’s take the food over to those tables.” We followed Kelly to the tables where Rhonda was busily arranging all of the pots and bowls. I heard a gasp behind me and turned to see Gus fast-stepping our way and his son trying hard to keep up.

  “Oh my Lord,” he exclaimed and sniffed the Tupperware bin I was carrying. “Do I smell bread?”

  “Yep, bread and biscuits,” I replied. “Fresh hand ground wheat and not so fresh yeast, but the ladies added some lard to the ingredients and it all turned out delicious.” I didn’t mention our wheat stores were now almost depleted, no need being a Debbie Downer. Gus helped me unload and stack the loaves on one of the tables. His eyes widened even further when he saw Sarah heading into the kitchen with my large Igloo cooler.

  “Please tell me those are some fresh steaks in that cooler,” Gus begged. I nodded and he grinned like I just told him he’d won the lottery. He grabbed a serrated knife and started slicing up a loaf.

  “I remember Mac trying to bake some biscuits that time we were clearing out all of those houses on Concord Road. They tasted awful,” he said. I arched an eyebrow at him. Gus chuckled. “You didn’t care much for how I acted back then.”

  “No I didn’t.”

  “Well, don’t worry,” he said with a reassuring smile. “I won’t say one single derogatory comment today. My mouth is watering too much.” I chuckled at him and looked around.

  “Where are Butter and, I mean, where are Cutter and Shooter?” I asked. Gus hooked a thumb over his shoulder as he ate a biscuit.

  “They’re still in the locker room, primping. Man, this bread is awesome.”

  “Try to save some for the others,” I said, patted him on the shoulder and headed down the hallway. I found the two brothers admiring themselves in the mirror. One of them was shaving around his goatee, the other one looked like he’d shaved his chest and was now flexing his muscles.

  “How’s it going, guys?” I asked.

  “Fine as wine,” Shooter replied and then popped a double biceps pose. “Are these guns the shit or what?” he boasted. I nodded, as if I cared. Besides, my arms were bigger.

  “Did you bring the girls?” Cutter asked as he stroked his face with the razor. I nodded again.

  “They’re anxious to meet you two, but you men need to play it cool.”

  “Don’t you worry, my man,” Shooter replied with that same ever-present smile. “We’ll have them wrapped around our fingers in no time.”

  “Alright, I’ll see you out front. Their names are Kate and Kyra. Kate is the taller one. Good luck.” They’re going to need it, I thought as I headed back to the cafeteria.

  To my surprise, the Pooter-Butter duo were polite and mostly minded their manners. Oh, they may have overplayed it a little with their macho behavior and telling tall stories about themselves, but I think the two sisters were more amused than annoyed. Sarah, however, dismissed them as idiots within seconds of meeting them and refused to acknowledge them for the rest of the dinner.

  Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, even me. Kelly made sure of it by occasionally groping me under the table. Or maybe it was Callahan nudging me for food scraps, I wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter.

  Unfortunately, our festivities were interrupted about thirty minutes into dinner when Floyd burst into the cafeteria. Somehow, he’d drawn guard duty again. His face was flushed and he was breathing hard.

  “Someone’s coming up the road!” he shouted. Sarah started to jump up, but I caught her by the hand and put
my mouth close to her ear.

  “I want to see them in action,” I whispered. She gave an understanding nod while Kelly looked at me in confusion. I continued eating as I watched how the school group reacted to this supposed threat. Marc and Ward busied themselves with gathering up dirty plates. The Pooter-Butter duo jumped up like we were being invaded by Martians and ran to a closet whereupon they took out handguns. So, that’s where they were keeping their weapons. They left the closet door open, which allowed me to do a visual inventory. I only saw less than a dozen weapons, which seemed a little low, all things considering.

  I continued watching with mild amusement as they sprinted toward the doors like it was a race and wondered if they thought they were impressing the women. Unlike the Pooter-Butter duo, the three Marines moved with discipline and purpose. I would never admit it, but Justin’s mannerisms and coolness made me wish I could have been a Marine.

  Wiping my face with one of the cloth napkins that looked like it may have been a piece of curtain once, I stood and walked toward the front entrance. Kelly and Sarah followed close behind. When we made it outside, the dynamic duo had their weapons drawn on the occupants of two vehicles and were yelling at them. One of those vehicles was very familiar looking and my gut tensed.

  “Stand down!” I yelled. “Those are friendlies!”

  “Who are they?” Tonya asked. Unsurprisingly, she’d waited until everyone had gone outside before venturing out. I made a note to remember that too.

  “That’s Jorge and his family. I told you about him.” She nodded in understanding and we walked over to the two SUVs. Pooter and Butter were still aiming their weapons at Jorge and his family and shouting orders at the top of their lungs. Jorge was looking at me plaintively, like I had invited him into a trap.

  “Guys, these are friends,” I insisted. “Lower your weapons.”

  “You heard the man, stand down!” Justin yelled in a very authoritative Sergeant’s voice. The two brothers glared at him a moment, and I thought Justin and I were going to have to apply some corrective action, but then Tonya intervened.

  “You two, relax.” Only then did they lower their weapons. I walked over to Jorge’s vehicle then and shook his hand when he exited.

  “Man, I thought you guys were going to shoot us,” he said and then muttered something in Spanish while making the sign of the cross.

  “I told everyone you guys might be coming. Apparently we had a breakdown in communication somewhere,” I said while I eyed the two brothers a moment before casting a reproachful stare at Floyd. He’s the one that got those two dunderheads all worked up in the first place.

  “How are you guys?” Kelly asked.

  “Not so good, Kelly,” Jorge replied. “Our house burned down.”

  “Oh, no! What happened?” she asked.

  “Bad sparks,” an older man said. He was an older version of Jorge with the only difference being a touch of gray in his hair and a few age marks in his face. It was obvious they were related.

  “You must be Josue,” I said and held out my hand. “I’m Zach.”

  “Yes, Zach, this is my father,” Jorge gestured toward the front seat of his car. “And you remember Maria.” Maria was sitting in the passenger seat and there was a young kid sitting in the back seat. He looked like a typical three-year-old.

  “That’s my nephew, Jose,” Jorge said. I eyed him questioningly. “Yeah, it’s my sister’s son. Okay, so she’s not really a virgin.” Maria said something to him harshly in Spanish and continued berating him as she got out of the car. It was then I noticed both SUVs were packed tightly with what appeared to be their personal belongings. I could also smell the distinct odor of smoke.

  “How’d your house catch on fire?” I asked.

  “We put a couple of logs on the fire and went to bed,” Jorge explained. “We think some sparks from the embers got onto the couch. Before anyone woke up, the whole den was on fire and the place was full of smoke. We didn’t have enough water to do anything, so we started throwing stuff out of the windows until it got too hot and smoky.” He gestured at the cars. “This is everything we own, man. While we were loading everything up, that fire attracted all kinds of zombies. We had to leave, man.” Tonya interrupted our conversation.

  “Well, we can stand out here in the rain, or we can go inside and talk about it over some supper,” she said. It was a unanimous agreement and everyone followed her back inside.

  Once everyone had calmed down, the joyous atmosphere returned. The Garcia family fit right in and it was soon obvious both Jorge and Josue had a good sense of humor.

  “Our house was decorated just like this,” Josue deadpanned as he looked at the docs’ streamers.

  “You’re smiling,” Kelly whispered in my ear with a grin of her own as we sat in chairs talking to everyone. “Someone’s having a good time in spite of himself.”

  She was right, of course. In fact, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, even Jorge and his family, in spite of their recent loss and the harsh welcoming. And, the major. He had his stethoscope out and was letting the kids listen to each other’s heartbeat and trying with limited success to explain to them the function of the heart. Kelly nudged me again.

  “Your children are on the crest of crashing and burning,” she whispered as she stroked my thigh. “And it’s getting dark, and I am going to require attention after lights out.” I needed no other hints, subtle or otherwise, and made sure a certain part of my anatomy was not going to embarrass me before standing. Kelly followed and went around saying our goodbyes and gathering up the kids. I told Kelly to wait for me at the truck and walked over to Major Parsons. He was gleefully laughing at the kids’ antics. When he looked up, his smile disappeared.

  “I’d like to speak to you, if you don’t mind.”

  “Certainly,” he said, although he was anything but, and stood. I caught Justin eyeing me warily as we walked outside to the parking lot. I stopped a few feet away from my truck so Kelly could hear the conversation from her open window.

  “The kids seem to like you,” I said. “Do you have any of your own?” The major’s face darkened.

  “Nieces and nephews,” he replied. “I was in love a couple of times, but it never worked out.” His brow furrowed more for a moment, and then the moment was gone.

  “Your kids call Kelly their mommy,” he said with a smile. “It says a lot about her.”

  “Yes it does,” I agreed. There was a momentary pause while the two of us stared at each other.

  “What do you want to talk about, Zach?”

  “I’ve been thinking about what you said.” The major continued staring, waiting. “About you wanting to expose yourself.”

  “Yes,” he chuckled. “I’ve been trying to work up the nerve. Perhaps, soon,” he said quietly.

  “You can’t do it,” I declared. An eyebrow arched. “I know you’ve thought about it and have talked yourself into believing it’s something that has to be done, but I’m telling you it’s the wrong thing to do and very shortsighted.”

  “Well, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re actually concerned about my welfare.”

  “Yeah, in a manner of speaking.” I paused for a moment searching for the right words.

  “I don’t know if I will ever forgive you for what you did. But, your skills are valued, and therefore that makes you a valued member of this community.”

  “And if I weren’t a doctor?” he asked. I started not to answer and turned toward my truck, but stopped.

  “I didn’t like being a test subject. Setting up a means to have you exposed would make you a test subject, and to encourage you to do so would make me a hypocrite, right?” I got in the truck and drove away while Grant stood there. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw him still staring at us as we drove out of sight.

  Chapter 21 – Journal Entry: April 1st, 3 A.Z.

  The month of March has been a mixed bag of good and not so good. On March 13th, we had four new arrivals: Ma
jor Sarah Fowkes, lately of the USAF, Kate and Kyra Redbank (sisters), a ten-year-old kid named Sam Hunter, and a goofy but lovable yellow lab named Callahan. Sarah met Fred back when he went to find his daughter. They had become an item for a short time before Fred came back home. Apparently, ole Fred made quite an impression on her because two years later she came looking for him. She met the two sisters and Sammy by happenstance on I-40 somewhere in Oklahoma. They were stranded and she rescued them.

  It’s too bad Fred’s gone; they could have picked up where they left off.

  On the 17th, everybody met at the school for a pot luck supper. It went pretty well, nobody was shot, even though there was a close call when the Garcia family arrived. Jorge and Maria have a father, Josue, and Maria has a little boy named Jose. Their house had burned down and they were effectively homeless, but we’ve gotten them residence in a house not far from us. They seem to be doing pretty good. Jorge's father is somewhat of a jack-of-all trades and very handy.

  Let me address the status of the three Marines who brought my children back. Justin and Ruth, that would be Gunnery Sergeant Smithson and Lance Corporal Bullington, have given me the impression that they are good people. Kelly thinks so as well. They are currently living in the little house at the radio tower and seem to be making a go of it. In addition, they worked with Kelly and me for four straight days planting crops and tending to the livestock.

  Major Grant Parsons is a different story. I don’t torment him or say anything insulting to him anymore, but I'm not sure I can ever forgive him. As long as he stays away from my kids, I suppose that is all I can ask for. Oh, that man did something totally nuts when he was still at the CDC. He injected himself with a test serum. He’s still alive, so maybe those people were on to something. It’s too bad they’re all dead.

  I thought long and hard about what he’d done. He was willing to use himself as a guinea pig, not knowing what could possibly happen to him. So, after the pot luck supper, I pulled him aside and told him that he was a valued member of our community and it was not a good idea to expose himself. He was surprised that I said it, to say the least. Yesterday, he told me he was in fact related to the Parsons who had owned the farm. He grew up in east Tennessee and apparently, Old Man Parsons was his uncle. I told him I didn’t give a shit.