“Is that any way to talk to your winter’s ham?” Ben called out, meeting her near the pen. He grinned and shook his head. “Have you no heart?”
She giggled. “Sorry, but I was actually thinking about bacon instead of ham.”
His eyebrows lifted. “And that makes a difference?”
“Probably not. So what are you doing?” He wore clean clothes, and his hair was slicked to the side.
“I’m heading over to see Esther.”
“Oh, I should’ve guessed. You seem to do a lot of that lately.” Cora looked down at the bucket in her hand. She needed to rinse it out.
“Maybe that’s because we’ve been making some important plans.” His face glowed with his wide smile. “We’ve set a date, Cora. It’s finally going to happen.”
“When?” Cora searched his face. He’d changed so much in the last year or so since they’d left St. Louis. A foreboding fell over her. Seemed like anymore nothing stayed the same. Would she lose her big brother?
“We hope to be married in the spring. Esther’s father started for Springfield yesterday to post a letter to her uncle. He’s a minister in Tennessee.”
“Tennessee!” Cora stared at her brother. “Esther’s father is making a trip that will take him at least a week just to post a letter? Isn’t there a preacher somewhere closer? What makes you think her uncle will come?”
“Esther’s mother says he’ll come.” Ben grinned. “She said it’s time for him to visit anyway.”
Cora sighed. “Then you’ll be getting married in a few months. Where will you live?”
Ben shrugged. “Father said if we don’t get our own house built, we could move Lenny downstairs. Esther and I can stay upstairs.”
That meant Esther would live in their house. Cora frowned. She and Eliza had to be quiet at night so Ben couldn’t hear. What would it be like with Esther in the next room too? Esther was so judgmental. Their relationship had never regained the closeness they’d shared at one time because she knew she’d never be as good as Esther expected. How could she manage seeing her every day as part of the family?
~*~
Christmas, the first day of 1835, and a week later, Cora’s twentieth birthday appeared on the calendar before warm weather returned. Aaron would be coming to visit more often now. Spring couldn’t be more welcome.
The sun was sinking low in the west when a knock on the door startled Cora. She opened the door to find Aaron and slipped outside without inviting him in. “Let’s take a walk. I’ve been cooped up inside all day.”
He grinned and took her hand. “Better get your bonnet. The sun’s still shinin’.”
She shook her head. “I’m glad it is. I love the warmth against my skin.”
A chuckle sounded from his throat. “That’s my Cora.”
Her heart warmed to the softness in his eyes that caressed her. He’d never come right out and said he loved her, but the truth shone from him like the rays of the sun. She could see it and hear it in his voice. His fingers wrapped around hers spoke of love. His gentleness with her and his faithfulness. He loved her, and she loved him. Maybe he’d ask her to marry him. They could be married the same time as Esther and Ben, while Esther’s uncle was here. Her heart danced at the thought.
Aaron led Cora toward the fruit trees Father had planted near the house. He stopped at the first apple tree and plucked a worm from a leaf. He threw it to the ground and stepped on it. “Ma’s failin’ fast.”
His comment burst through her happiness. What could she say? “I’m sorry.”
Aaron shrugged. “I reckon that’s the way of things. A body gets born, lives awhile, and then dies. Looks like there oughta be somethin’ more to life, don’t it?”
First Aaron’s father and now his mother. What of Cora’s mother? Nora was five months old, and Mother still hadn’t regained her strength. She wasn’t on her deathbed, but she wasn’t well, either. Cora didn’t want to talk about death and sickness. She’d rather talk of marriage and life.
“Ben and Esther’s wedding is just a couple of weeks away now.”
Aaron nodded. The hint of a smile curved his lips. He took her hand and started walking again. “Yeah, I know.”
“Esther’s preacher uncle and his family moved in with the Newkirks yesterday. Ben says there’s scarcely room to walk through their house now.”
Aaron’s smile widened. “What’ve they got? A whole passel of kids?”
“That depends on what a passel is.” Cora turned a saucy grin his way.
He chuckled. “I’d reckon eight like the Newkirks’ is a passel.”
“Then the answer’s no, because they only have four.” Cora slanted a glance toward him. “How many children do you think a couple should have?”
Aaron met her gaze with an intense look that reached deep inside and held her in place. He stopped and faced her. “Maybe half a dozen. How about you? What do you think?”
Her breath caught in her throat and her lashes lowered before she looked back into his eyes. She shouldn’t have asked such a question. Mother would say she’d been bold. Aaron didn’t act like he thought so. He waited for her answer. “Five or six would be fine.”
He grinned.
Her heart felt as if it could take off running at any moment, it beat so hard.
Aaron tugged her hand to resume walking. They left Father’s young orchard and crossed the open space toward a line of cedar trees growing by the creek. Aaron’s warm, callused hand caressed hers. The setting sun’s rays cast long shadows beside them. The pungent scent of cedar filled the air as they drew near the creek bank.
Aaron pointed toward a fallen log. “Let’s set here a spell.”
Cora adjusted her skirts and Aaron sat beside her on the log facing the moving water below them. “It’s quiet here ‘ceptin’ for the creek. I like the sound of water.”
“I do too.” Cora rested her head against his shoulder. “It reminds me of my spring.”
“Your spring?” Aaron leaned forward and grinned at her. His eyes danced. “Where’ve you got a spring?”
He knew. His amusement teased her. She’d never told anyone how she felt about the spring he’d showed her that day in the woods so long ago. She’d thought of it as hers ever since. He might not like her claiming it. “It really isn’t mine.”
“So, where’s it at?”
She folded her arms and scooted away. “Not far from the hollow tree. You probably don’t remember, but you showed it to Eliza and me one day. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.”
Aaron slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her back toward him. “Oh, I remember, all right. I like it there too. Maybe someday I’ll build a cabin up on that high spot in the meadow. You can see the spring from there.”
He wasn’t looking at her now. Was she part of his dreams?
“Aaron?”
He brushed his cheek against hers. “Hmm?”
He wasn’t listening to her. What was he thinking? If he didn’t include her in his dreams, she’d be broken hearted. She’d never loved George like this. She loved Aaron more than anyone. With all her heart, she loved him.
When she didn’t speak, Aaron pulled away and turned her to face him. His bright blue eyes traveled over her face, finally resting on her lips. His head lowered and she met him halfway, responding with everything that burned within her heart. Aaron took his time with the sweet kiss he placed on her lips. His love for her spoke through his tenderness and care.
“I love you, Aaron Stark.” Cora’s whispered admission hung in the air between them as a tangible, fragile ornament.
An ornament that fell and broke into a dozen pieces in the silence that followed. Aaron seemed frozen in place. Finally, his hold on her slipped, and she jerked away. She jumped to her feet and took a step back, staring at him with her hands pressed to her lips. How could he sit there without a word and look at her as if she were a stranger? She’d just said she loved him.
Her hands landed on her hips.
She trembled inside. He wouldn’t get away with treating her love as if it were repulsive. “Did you hear what I said, Aaron Stark? I said I love you.”
Aaron’s mouth hung open, his eyes grew wide, and he watched her as if she’d gone crazy. What did he think? That she’d attack him?
Tears welled in Cora’s eyes, spilling down her cheeks. Her heart pounded a dreadful, painful warning that all had gone wrong. She’d said too much. But why? How? She buried her face in her hands.
“Cora, don’t cry.” Aaron stood before her now. His strong arms surrounded her, pulling her close against his hard chest. “Please, darlin’, don’t. I can’t bear to see you hurtin’.”
A hiccupy sob escaped. “You don’t love me.” The words were muffled in his shirt.
He lay his cheek against the top of her head. “You know better’n that. You’re everything to me. You’re ever beat of my heart. I don’t know how I’ll ever live without you.”
Aaron’s heart drummed against Cora’s hand splayed on his chest. She froze in his arms. He said he loved her. No, he said more than that. She was the beat of his heart? She lifted her head and looked at him. The smile starting on her face faltered.
Her eyes met his. His brows were drawn together, his eyes filled with pain. Her heart leapt in fear.
“Aaron, what is it? We love each other. You said so. You did, didn’t you?” With each word, her voice rose. She couldn’t stop the fear. Something was terribly wrong.
Aaron shook his head. “I ain’t nothin’ but a backwoodsman. I’ll never amount to a hill of beans. You’re better’n me, Cora. You need a man who can give you all them pretty things like your ma has. You don’t want me.”
His words slapped her so she jerked away from him. “What have you been doing this last year, Aaron? You courted me. You held my hand. You kissed me!” Tears sprang anew to her eyes. “Why? If you don’t want to marry me, Aaron Stark, just say so.”
He reached out, but dropped his hand without touching her. “That ain’t it, Cora. You know it. Look at me. You need better. I can’t even read a newspaper.”
Anger flared within her. “I can’t help it that I grew up in a city where I could go to school. So what if you can’t read and write and I can? You’ve got more talent in your one little finger than all the city boys I ever met put together. You know more about nature than anyone I know. If it’s so important, you can learn to read. You’re plenty smart enough.”
She turned and ran from the creek bank, up the gentle slope toward the house. She flung the last of her hurt over her shoulder. “Besides that, who says I want a bunch of pretty things to dust? If you really loved me, you’d know better.”
He’d been trifling with her. Tears blinded her, and she swiped them away.
~*~
Stunned by Cora’s words, Aaron couldn’t move as she lifted her skirts to run away from him while his heart broke. All his life he’d felt inferior. Dare he believe education and fancy things weren’t important to Cora? Could she really love him? She’d yelled at him as if she meant what she said.
His heart pounded, urging him to stop her. He couldn’t let her run away crying. He hadn’t lied. She was the beat of his heart. His feet moved, carrying him up the hill before he realized. He overtook her, running ahead to catch her in his arms. His voice grew husky. “Cora, are you meanin’ you’d marry me?”
“Of course I’d marry you, Aaron, if you’d only ask.”
Aaron swallowed. He searched her face. Did she mean it? His voice shook. “Cora?”
She held his gaze, her eyes wet with tears.
His heart melted. “Oh, Cora. Honest, I love you. I just don’t—I mean, Cora, will you marry me?”
The tears that hovered in her eyes broke free and ran down her face. She nodded and laughed. He’d never seen a prettier sight.
“Yes, I’ll marry you, Aaron, if you promise to never doubt yourself or my love again.”
He tilted his head. “I’ll do my best. For you, I’ll do anything.”
He pulled the clean, folded handkerchief she’d made him from his pocket and touched it to her wet cheeks. She lifted her face while he blotted every tear and put them in his pocket. Then he kissed her and grinned. “Now you can’t back out. We’re gettin’ married, Cora. Wanna tell your folks?”
She nodded, and he kissed her again. When he lifted his head, he saw Ralph coming toward them.
“It’s Ma, Aaron. Right after you left, she took a turn for the worse.” Ralph’s eyes were rimmed with red. “Ivy’s sittin’ with her.”
“Sittin’ with her?” Aaron pulled Cora close. “What’s that mean?”
Ralph’s face twisted as if a pain passed through him. His voice held disbelief. “She went to sleep. We didn’t know she’d gone ’til Ivy saw she weren’t breathin’. Ivy sent me after ya.”
Chapter 20
Cora stood beside Aaron through the graveside funeral. At least they had a real preacher to conduct the services. Mrs. Newkirk sang just as she had for Aaron’s father, then her brother preached for about fifteen minutes.
“Let’s bow our heads for a word of prayer.” Reverend Arthur Copley’s prayer was short just like his sermon.
Aaron slipped his arm from Cora’s grasp and picked up the first shovel of dirt. He returned to her side when Ralph took the shovel from him. How could this have happened? Aaron’s parents gone within less than a year. Never had death seemed so real to Cora than it did now. She looked at her mother, standing beside Father, and thanksgiving rose in her heart that she still had them both. Never again would she take her own, or anyone else’s, life for granted as she’d done before.
After the service, Cora walked through the woods beside Aaron. He cleared his throat. “You’ll be at the meetin’ tomorrow night, won’t ya?”
She looked up at him. What did he mean? “Yes, aren’t you going?”
He nodded. “I plan to, but with Pa and Ma both gone, there’s a passel of work to do iffen we keep our heads off the ground. Ralph ain’t much for doin’ his share, and Ivy’s got all she can handle now. Has since before Pa died when Ma started feelin’ poorly.”
A weight sat on Cora’s heart. Going to church would be no fun at all without Aaron. “So you might not get to come?”
He gently squeezed her hand. “Sure, I’ll come. Can’t do much after dark, anyhow. I won’t come by to get you, is all. We can still sit together, can’t we?”
Cora’s frown relaxed into a wide smile as she nodded. “You’d better sit by me.”
He chuckled, looking as pleased as she felt. Going to revival meetings might be fun after all. At least the preacher didn’t appear to be long winded.
Cora held that thought until the next evening sitting at the vanity in the room she shared with her sister. She brushed her hair and spoke over her shoulder. “Can you believe we have to go to church every night for a week just because Ben is getting married?”
“Oh, Cora, what’s the matter with you?” Eliza slipped into her dress. “I think it’ll be lots of fun. Everyone will be there.”
“I suppose.” Cora parted her hair down the middle. She’d make two braids and coil them on the sides.
“Why don’t you and Aaron get married when Ben and Esther do?” Eliza’s head popped through the neck of her dress.
“I don’t think I could live in the same house with Ivy.” Cora sighed. “It’ll be hard enough with Esther. Besides, I think Aaron’s concerned about Ivy.”
“Why? What’s wrong with her?” Eliza turned her back toward Cora. “Can you button this?”
Cora secured her second braid and let it drop before buttoning the back of Eliza’s dress. “I think he feels responsible for her now both their parents are gone.”
Eliza shrugged and stepped away. “Maybe she’ll get married.”
Cora laughed. “That would be nice, but who’s she supposed to marry? She can’t have Ben now.”
“What about Axel Hanson? He lives on the other side of them.”
A shudder passed through Cora at Eliza’s suggestion. “I suppose, if she wants him.” She stuck a hairpin in one coiled braid. “Let’s let Ivy worry about it.”
Eliza stared at Cora’s refection in the mirror. “Don’t you want to get married right away?”
“Yes, of course.” Cora concentrated on getting her second braid to match the first.
A long, drawn-out sigh came from her sister as she sat on the bed. “Oh, Cora, I think it’s all so wonderful. You’re going to marry Aaron, and now all I have to do is get Ralph to ask me. Then we’ll be sisters-in-law just like I want.”
Cora turned from the mirror and laughed at Eliza. “Sometimes, I think that’s all you see in Ralph. It’s only a romantic notion, but if you and Ralph do fall in love I think it’d be wonderful too.”
A romantic notion for sure. Eliza would outgrow this infatuation she had for Ralph. He wasn’t worthy of being a doormat for Eliza’s feet, but the woman he married would likely become his servant. She’d have to if she wanted to eat, because he seldom did any work Aaron didn’t make him do.
Cora stood. “It’s time to go. We might as well get this over with.”
Eliza’s laughter trailed behind her as she hurried past Cora. “You can sulk about going if you want, but I plan to enjoy myself. It isn’t often we have a chance to see everyone all together. I think this place needs a church and a regular preacher.”
She stopped at the door. “In fact, I heard Father and Mother talking about that very thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if these meetings aren’t just the beginning.”
A church? Seeing everyone on Sundays and catching up on their news. All right, that might be fun. But sitting through a long, drawn out, boring sermon every week? Eliza could have it. Cora followed her sister and joined the others outside at the wagon.
Father brought the horses to a stop in an open pasture where other wagons stood not far from the Newkirk’s house. A large framework of poles had been covered with a canopy of green branches creating shade from the west slanting sun. Slab benches in two rows filled the space under the roof. This looked nothing like the church they’d attended in St. Louis. Maybe the service would be different too.
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