Other wagons rolled onto the Newkirks’ pasture and stopped. Many were new people Cora didn’t know. Then the Hansons arrived. Cora stood beside her father’s wagon and watched Axel Hanson jump from the back. He walked past with a smirk on his face. She scarcely noticed as Aaron’s dark head of soft curls caught her attention. He swung easily over the side of the wagon, landing on the ground. A wide grin lit his face, and he strode toward her.
Ralph lifted Anna Hanson down with his hands around her waist. He didn’t move away, but stood grinning at her. Anna faced him. She laughed and let her hands slide down his arms, then gave him a gentle shove.
A cold hard knot formed in Cora’s stomach. Eliza would be heartbroken if she saw them together, acting as if they were spoken for. She looked for her sister, but didn’t see her. She’d said something about going to find Rebekah. Maybe she had.
“Somethin’ wrong?” Aaron took her hand.
Cora turned to focus on him. Her heart tripped. He was so good looking and so kind. The concern in his expression said he cared for her. She shook her head. “I hope not. It’s just Ralph. He’s flirting with Anna Hanson.”
“Ralph?” Aaron glanced toward his brother. Ralph was walking toward them without Anna. “Why do you care what Ralph’s doin’.”
“Not for myself.” Cora laughed at his lowered brows. “I was thinking about Eliza.”
Aaron nodded, his expression relaxing. “You know if Eliza’s smart, she’ll look elsewhere. You gotta realize the mold got throwed away when Ralph was made. Leastways, I hope it was.”
Cora laughed.
“Everbody loves him even when they know full well he ain’t deservin’ of it.” Aaron shrugged. “I ain’t sure he’ll ever grow up.”
“Poor Eliza.” Cora sighed. Anna caught up with Ralph and grabbed his arm. He took her hand and grinned at her. “She’s smitten with him. If she sees this, her heart will break.”
Aaron slipped his fingers through Cora’s, and they walked around the wagon toward the brush arbor church. “Aw, don’t worry about Ralph and Eliza. If their likin’ each other’s for real, they’ll work things out. Ralph don’t mean nothin’ by what he does. He’s just real friendly with folks.”
“Maybe that’s all it is.” But did Ralph have to be friendly with both Anna and Eliza at the same time? Ralph veered off from Anna and headed toward the group gathered around Ben and Esther. He stopped beside Eliza, and she squealed. He laughed and slipped a hand around her waist. Together they walked under the canopy and took a seat near the back. So he planned to sit with Eliza after flirting with Anna? Cora’s stomach knotted, and she shook her head. Maybe later she’d tell her sister what she’d seen.
Esther stepped away from the others as Cora and Aaron approached. “Please, Cora. Could I talk to you before the service begins?”
What could Esther possibly have to say to her without the others? She didn’t even want to know.
Ben caught her attention. His eyes pleaded with her. He smiled and mouthed one word. Please.
All right, for Ben she’d listen to Esther. Cora turned to Aaron. “Don’t get lost. I’ll be right back.”
He grinned. “Don’t worry. I’ll be waitin’ right here for you.” He squeezed her hand before releasing it.
Cora walked with Esther a short distance away. An uncomfortable silence vibrated between them until Esther spoke. “I want to apologize for that day when I said those things and hurt your feelings.”
Esther was apologizing? What could Cora say? That Esther hadn’t hurt her and she shouldn’t worry about it? No, because that would be a lie. She’d been terribly hurt. All because Esther thought she was better than everyone else.
“I was so worried about you I didn’t stop to think.” Moisture glistened in Esther’s eyes. “I blundered in trying to fix everything myself when I should’ve stayed home and prayed.”
“I don’t know what you needed to pray about, but yes, you should have stayed home that day.” Cora couldn’t keep the venom from her voice. After all this time, she shouldn’t still be hurt, but she was. Esther had been the best friend she’d ever had.
A tear slid down Esther’s cheek, and she brushed it away. “I’m so sorry, Cora. I was wrong. I love you as my sister. When I marry Ben, we’ll be sisters. Please forgive me for anything I’ve said or done to offend you. Please understand how sorry I am. I never want to hurt you.”
Cora’s anger and resentment began a slow melt under the warm rays of Esther’s love. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. Honestly, she was tired of all the ugliness. She sighed. “I forgive you, Esther. I’ve held a grudge against you for way too long. I shouldn’t have been so easily offended.”
The low, sweet notes coming from Bill Reid’s violin reached out to them. Esther glanced at the brush arbor. “I need to hurry. The service is about to start.”
She took Cora’s hand. “Please, Cora, will you stand up with me Sunday? Rebekah will be next to me because she’s my sister, but your friendship means so much to me.”
Cora looked across the way to Ben and Aaron, still waiting where they’d left them. The others had already taken seats inside. Could she swallow her pride? Yes, for Ben she would. Already the resentment she’d harbored so long had lessened. Maybe in time she’d be able to open her heart to her sister-in-law, and they’d become friends again.
She nodded. “Yes, I will. I need to go now. Aaron’s waiting.”
Aaron led her to a seat just as a young man, new to the area, stood in front. He lifted his hand and the congregation grew silent. “Howdy, folks. I’ve been asked to lead some songs. My name’s Timothy Donovan, and I’m really glad to be here tonight. How about you?”
Several shouted out. “Amen!”
Timothy turned to Mr. Reid. “Brother, can you start us out on ‘Amazing Grace’?”
With Bill Reid’s violin playing in the background, and Timothy’s voice guiding the melody, many voices lifted in song. They sang several songs before Timothy introduced the minister.
Reverend Arthur Copley took over the service then. When he started talking, Cora sensed this would be different from the funeral service he’d preached. Surely tonight his voice could be heard by the cows in the Newkirk’s far pasture. It took all her concentration to keep from squirming as he pointed a finger that swept the gathering, yet still seemed to single her out.
“‘All’—did you hear that? God’s Word says ‘all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.’” He looked from one to another, his eyes piercing.
Cora sat beside Aaron on the rough wooden bench, her hands folded in her lap while she struggled with an unsettling feeling all was not right with her soul. As the sermon continued, Cora longed to jump up and run as far away as she could.
The preacher left the front and walked down the center aisle, beckoning from one side to the other for those who felt the need to come to the altar for prayer.
Many across the congregation wept and prayed aloud. Some stepped out and went forward. Cora sat with her hands clasped in her lap. A tremble started deep inside and spread to her fingers. She felt as if something was missing in her life. If only she could get away.
The man sitting on the end of their bench stood and went forward. Aaron started to rise. Cora sprang up and grabbed his hand. She pulled him behind her down the side aisle until they cleared the shelter.
Cora took a deep breath of the evening air. With her hand snug in Aaron’s, she felt safe again.
“What’s the matter, darlin’?” The flickering torches picked up the concern in Aaron’s eyes.
She shook her head not wanting to talk about her feelings. “Nothing. I just felt stuffy in there.”
They continued away from the voices raised in prayer, the lanterns and burning pine knots, until darkness swallowed them again.
A sigh rose, and Cora released it.
“Feelin’ better now?”
She nodded, and Aaron pulled her close, his arms feeling warm and secure around her. She lif
ted her face to his and accepted his kiss with thanksgiving. Aaron was everything she’d ever wanted. He was enough. She didn’t like the ugliness of sin the way Reverend Copley had described it. He’d made her life seem wrong and dirty in God’s sight. Never before had she seen herself as a sinner. Never again did she want to.
Cora could think of no real reason to miss the meetings, and night after night, she lived through the same experience. Each time, when the weight of her wrong-doing became the heaviest, she managed to slip away into the darkness to walk among the wagons while the preacher gave the altar call. Aaron went with her, although she caught him looking back at the brightly lit arbor more than once as if he’d rather be there.
On Saturday night, the night before Ben’s wedding, Esther’s uncle again walked the center aisle, urging all who felt a need to come forward for prayer.
All week, Cora watched her neighbors go, and she fought the fear his words brought. She was shaken in a way she hadn’t been since her brush with death. She couldn’t take much more of this. Thankfully, the week would soon be no more than a memory.
“Come.” The minister called out. “That nudge you feel deep inside is the Holy Spirit calling you to Him. Come forward and let’s pray.”
Cora reached for Aaron’s hand, but he pulled away.
“No, Cora.” His voice was low and firm. “I’m goin’ up there. Are you comin’ with me?”
Resolve in his expression convinced her she couldn’t sway him. She loved him so much, but she wouldn’t go to the altar. Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head. “No, but I’ll wait outside for you.”
Aaron gave a brief nod and stood. Cora’s heart broke when he went one way and she went another.
Chapter 21
Cora lay in bed, staring at the darkness but visualizing Aaron’s face when he walked toward her from the brush arbor. Never had he looked more appealing and handsome. His smile came alive with the joy reflected in his sparkling eyes.
He took her hands, his expression excited, his eyes wide and shining. He patted his chest. “I got a real light feelin’ in here. I reckon sin can be mighty heavy. I wish you’d gone with me.”
Aaron’s voice echoed in her mind until she turned to the side away from Eliza. If only she could block his words. She pressed against her ears, and still she heard him. Sin can be mighty heavy. Wish you’d gone with me. Well, she hadn’t, and she didn’t intend to. At least the week’s meetings were over now. Tomorrow Ben and Esther would be married. Only one more preaching service to go through in the morning.
She pulled the sheet up to her chin and closed her eyes. What she needed to think about was finding a husband for Ivy. As soon as she was taken care of, Aaron would be free to marry. There’d been new single men at the meetings. Maybe Ivy would find one of them suited her.
Cora let Ivy’s possible suitors parade through her mind until sleep overcame, and the morning’s light found way into her bedroom. She’d be with Aaron again today. The thought danced through her mind until she remembered. Would Aaron be different now? Surely not. Ben and Mother were the same as always. Of course, they’d been just fine before they’d been—what was it they called it? Born again. And that didn’t make any sense. The only difference was they prayed about everything now, and Mother was always reading her Bible. Ben probably did too. Cora smiled. Aaron couldn’t read, which meant she wouldn’t have to put up with that, at least.
At the Newkirk’s, Aaron took Cora’s hand and gave her a gentle smile. “You’re lookin’ pretty today.”
Her cheeks warmed with his praise. He wore a pure white shirt and dark pants. He’d never looked better. “Thank you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so spiffed up.”
He grinned and led her into the brush arbor. “Had to. Ben asked me to stand up with him today. Along with John. Said he wanted to keep it in the family.”
“I’m glad.” Maybe soon she and Aaron would have their own wedding. and then he’d really be in the Jackson family. She could scarcely wait.
Timothy Donovan took his place in front as he’d done each night of the meetings. “Stand with me if you will and sing All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name.”
Cora stood with the others and sang, but her mind wasn’t on the words. Timothy Donovan, with his dark good looks, would make a wonderful husband for Ivy. He seemed so full of energy, waving his arm to the beat of the music. His smile covered the congregation, seeming to include everyone. Surely, Ivy would be drawn toward him. Of course, as contrary as Ivy was, if anyone suggested such a thing, she’d turn from him. But she could hope.
Reverend Copley was well into his sermon before Cora bothered to listen. She glanced at Aaron. He gazed at the pastor, probably following every word spoken. At least, Esther’s uncle didn’t speak long. When a couple of the women slipped away near the end of the service, he asked the others to stand for prayer. Cora stood but watched Mrs. Newkirk slip out to join the women who were hurrying to their wagons. There would be a dinner before the wedding. Why couldn’t she go out and help?
Bill Reid’s violin began playing, and Timothy’s voice carried the words to Rock of Ages until other voices blended in with his. Reverend Copley spoke over the singing. “Jesus will hide you in Him. Let the water and blood from His side flow over your soul. Let Him save you from wrath and make you pure. He’s here this morning, waiting for you.”
Cora stood beside Aaron and hugged her arms close against her body. A tremble started deep inside and moved throughout, but she held firm. She was a Christian. She didn’t need to be saved from wrath. What had she ever done that was so wrong? Why did the preacher continually badger people into going forward, making a spectacle of themselves? Aaron shouldn’t have gone last night. If anyone was good, he was. She hugged herself even tighter, ignoring the gentle whisper in her heart that she wasn’t without fault.
Aaron leaned toward her. “If you wanna go up there, I’ll go with you.”
Cora glanced toward the wagons. The women were walking back, their arms loaded. With food, no doubt. She shook her head. “I’m fine, Aaron.”
A man in the row ahead of them stepped out and walked forward. Cora cringed. Now the preacher would continue to call for more. But he didn’t. Maybe because of the dinner and the wedding afterward, but Reverend Copley held up his hand. “Would someone come and pray with this man?”
Mr. Newkirk and Mr. Sinclair met in front and knelt.
The minister stepped to the side away from them. “I’ve enjoyed this past week and appreciate your faithfulness in coming each night when the work at home might easily have kept you away. God will reward you. We’ve had several changed lives in this meeting. The long journey here with my family has been well worth it. Now we have a dinner and a wedding to attend. Bow with me as we pray, then feel free to mingle and visit.” He lowered his head. “Father God, draw us close to You. In Jesus name. Amen.”
Esther’s uncle turned and knelt with the three men and added his voice to theirs.
Cora breathed a sigh of relief. The meetings were over. There’d be no more. She wouldn’t have to endure being preached at, feeling guilty, and frightened for something that probably wasn’t even a threat. Why did preachers do this? Get people all stirred up for no reason. She took a deep breath and released the hold on her elbows, letting the tremble inside settle to little more than an uneasy feeling, which would soon go away.
She smiled at Aaron. “I should help Mother with the food we brought.”
“All right.” He slipped his fingers around hers and led her from the arbor. Already the day had grown warm with the sun bearing down. At least it was still early June and still cool enough they could enjoy the rest of the day.
After they ate, Cora was helping with clean up when Esther motioned her to the side. “Will you help me get ready at the house?”
“Of course.” Cora fell into step with her friend.
Esther held out her hand. “Look, Cora. It’s trembling.”
“What’s that from? Nerv
ousness or fear?”
Esther gave a short laugh. “Probably both.”
Cora followed Esther into the house. “I can understand being nervous, but Ben loves you with all his heart. He’d never harm you.”
Esther’s cheeks grew rosy. “I’m not afraid of Ben. It’s the future, I think, that I fear.”
In the loft room, Cora helped Esther change into her soft, white silk dress. The long bell-shaped skirt was trimmed with a wide band of gathered lace near the bottom. The tight, fitted waist, sewn to the gathered skirt, ended in a vee in front. The sleeves, banded by matching gathered lace, reached barely past the elbows. The low rounded neckline had wide matching lace.
Cora let her hand slide over the soft silk. “Your dress is beautiful and so are you.”
“Thank you.” Esther turned toward the beveled mirror above her vanity. “We made it from a dress Ma had. Even back in Virginia, she didn’t have much cause to wear anything this fancy, so it’s hardly been worn. She said it’s traditional to wear something old.”
“Yes, it is.” Cora studied Esther’s face. She seemed happy. Her face glowed from the soft curve of her lips to the sparkle in her eyes. If she wasn’t afraid of Ben, then what? Did she think he would turn on her later? “Esther, I don’t understand why you fear the future.”
Esther turned from the mirror and faced Cora. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I love your brother very much, Cora. There are so many things we agree on. We want to stay as close to both our families as we can. It surely will be hard moving into the house with all of you, but I’m not sorry. This will be a wonderful chance to really get to know you.”
“Is that what you’re afraid of, living with us? I don’t understand why Ben hasn’t built his own cabin.” Cora’s brows drew together. “He should’ve done that before the wedding.”
Esther looked down at her hands clutched together in front. She shook her head. “I don’t know. We both feel our lives are going to change.”
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