Unbreak This Heart

by Betty Shreffler

  Kissing her lips, I lay above her, holding myself up enough so I don’t crush her. She pulls my bottom lip between her teeth, then nibbles my jaw. I laugh at her playful bites and kiss her again.

  Taking a satisfied breath, she looks at me confused. “You’re not mad at me?”

  “I am mad at you. I’m pissed you kicked me out of your office. I’m pissed you didn’t answer my calls. I’m pissed the lunch I had planned for you was ruined by that douchebag thinking he could propose to my girl. Now I’m waiting for you to tell me your answer was no and you came here to tell me that.”

  The light in her eyes dims. She pulls away from me and we both instinctively gather our clothes. My gut wrenches into a knot. I’m getting angrier by the second.

  “What was this? A goodbye fuck?”

  Her eyes widen. A scowl forms on her face. “No!”

  “Then talk to me. What’s going on?”

  Redressed, she sits back on my couch. I want to pull her into my lap and turn this night into how I had originally imagined it to go, but I can’t fight this feeling of dread—that it’s all been too good to be true.

  Her eyes have the pre-tear glisten in them.

  Go ahead, just rip the damn band-aid off already.

  She hugs herself, folded up into a ball in the corner of my couch. She looks miserable. I want to fix the pain I see in her eyes, but I’m not sure I can.

  “I came here tonight to tell you it’s you I want, but today when Todd proposed, he brought back old memories and feelings.” She closes her eyes tight. “For one moment, I thought about the future we had planned when we were together.” She opens her eyes and I see a mixture of guilt and hope in them. “But that future is no longer what I want. I want you.”

  The tears she was holding back are now trickling down her cheeks. Hearing she thought about his proposal stings my chest, but right now, she needs to know how much I want her too. Moving in closer, I wipe away her tears before pulling her into my lap. She buries her head into my neck and releases all the emotions she’d clearly been holding onto all day. Stroking her hair, I soothe her until she calms down.

  “I’m so sorry I didn’t call or come over sooner. You were so angry. I thought I was going to lose you after today.”

  Taking her face in my hands, I look into her sad and hopeful eyes. “You’re not going to lose me. I’m all in. I’m yours, and you, beautiful, are all mine.”

  Putting her legs around my waist, I lift her off the couch. As I carry her into my room, I place tender kisses on her lips, cheeks, and neck.

  “We have more to talk about, but it can wait until after I make love to you.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  —

  ALEX

  The beach is quiet as I walk along the sandy shore. Coming here after work has given me time to think before meeting with Todd. Ahead of me, the boardwalk is now empty, void of the carnival that bustled with life two days ago. The only remnants are a bit of litter the county staff are diligently clearing off. After walking to the steps, I stop and sit, waiting for Todd to arrive.

  At the sound of footsteps, I turn and stand. Hazel-green eyes settle on me, and that same hope I saw in my office is vibrant in his irises.

  “Alex.”

  “Hi, Todd.”

  He points to the beach. “You want to walk together?”

  I nod, and with my flip-flops dangling in my hand, I turn, then step down into the sand.

  “I’m glad you called me. I’ve been hoping you would.”

  My eyes look off into the distance at the gray sea and the white birds diving for the fish below. Their calls echo as loudly as the thudding in my heart. I don’t want to hurt him and see the pain in his eyes again. Gathering my courage, I take a breath and return my gaze to him.

  “You surprised me with your proposal.”

  Todd stops and faces me.

  “I meant it. I want us to have a fresh start. I’ve done nothing but screw this up since we got back together. I pushed too hard, too fast, and I realize that now.”

  “I’ve started seeing Carter.” The words spill out of my mouth, shocking me as much as they do him. His handsome face contorts into a grimace.

  “I had a feeling that was the case when he sucker punched me.”

  “I’m sorry about that.” I suddenly notice the slight discoloration on the side of his jaw.

  “You sure you want to be with an aggressive man like that?”

  The memory of Carter sharing what happened with his ex, Lindsey, flashes through my mind. “He’s not aggressive. You were… It doesn’t matter. He walked in on something that, yes, he could have handled better, but he had his reasons.”

  “Alex, I know you. We were together for four years. Carter can’t give you what you need. I can. I can take care of you and give you a great life. Carter is a man who’s chasing an unrealistic dream and will become a washout, unable to provide for you.”

  Anger festers and stirs in my gut like an angry bees nest. “You don’t know what I need and you don’t know Carter.”

  “You don’t think I’ve seen men like him before? I know his kind all too well. You’re a beautiful, intelligent woman who needs someone who can offer you the life you deserve. Carter will struggle to achieve what he wants and he’ll take you down with him when he fails.”

  A shiver runs down my back. “How can you be so cold?”

  “I’m not cold and you know that. I don’t want to see you end up with the wrong man. I love you and I’m trying to get you to see how much I care for you. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

  I look away as tears sting my eyes. The anger has turned to frustration and confusion. Todd’s fingers gently swipe my windblown hair behind my ear. His thumb erases my stray tear.

  “I know you still love me too, or I wouldn’t be affecting you this way.”

  His warm touch brings back the memory of how much love we used to share. Guilt pangs my stomach and I remove his hand.

  “I think it’s best that we don’t see each other or communicate anymore. I’m with Carter now.”

  Todd’s jaw tenses. “You’re making a mistake.”

  “Goodbye, Todd.”

  I turn to walk away, and his hand takes hold of mine, pulling me back to him. Fingers caress along my cheek then disappear in my hair. His lips come down on mine, filled with an emotional pull that makes my head spin.

  “I’ll wait for you to realize it’s me you belong with, but I won’t wait forever.”

  With tears falling down my cheeks, I pull away from him. His hand slips out of mine, and I move my feet faster, wanting to flee from this situation as quickly as possible.

  ***

  When I enter Raise the Bar, I instantly find relief when I see Carter clearing exercise gear off the mats from his last class. Sweat gleams across his shoulders and toned back, and my body tingles at the sight, reminding me of our intimacy from the night before. He turns when I approach, and the way his eyes light up when he sees me peels away the emotional distress from my meeting with Todd.

  “Hey, beautiful.” His kiss is soft on my lips before he pulls me into his arms. The familiar scent of his heated body and fading cologne fills my nostrils, taunting my senses. Holding me like this relaxes the last of my frayed nerves. “How was your day?”

  “Work was good. Afterward, I met with Todd.”

  The muscles in his arms tense. “Yeah? How’d it go?”

  “I told him we’re together, and that he and I shouldn’t communicate any longer.”

  His eyes glisten with what I assume is relief.

  “That means a lot to me to hear you say that.”

  I kiss him affectionately then move to the bench and set my bag on it. “What are the plans today, Coach?”

  Carter steps up to the bench and rubs along my arms. “As long as you’re up for it, I want to have you practice a few kickboxing moves, then we’ll do more ground self-defense lessons.”

  Removing my gloves from the bag, I pl
ace them on and join him in the middle of the mat. He raises his boxing mitts and gives the instruction. “Right, Left, Right, Duck.”

  We proceed through a series of these before he tosses the mitts and grabs the kicking pad. Ensuring my form is correct, he sets the bag down and places his hands on my hips. His breath is warm when his lips graze my ear.

  “I wanna take you out for a special dinner tonight.”

  My body ignites, craving more of his touch. “I’m all in. What time?”

  “Carter.”

  Both our heads turn in the direction of the boisterous voice. Carter adjusts his hands, placing one behind my back and guiding me with him as he walks to meet the man who called out his name. He points to me, then the tall, muscular man with gray-peppered hair, tan skin, and age lines on his attractive face.

  “Alex, this is John Hawkins, my promoter. John, this is my girlfriend.”

  John extends his hand, revealing a fancy silver watch beneath the sleeve of his stylish button-up shirt.

  “Pleasure to meet you, Alex.” His tone is neutral, no emotion, and all business. His attention returns to Carter. “Are you available this evening?”

  Carter glances at me then back to John. “What do you need?”

  “I’d like to take you out to dinner tonight. Allan will be coming too. We have a lot to go over before your fight on Saturday.”

  “You mind if I bring Alex?”

  John seems to force a smile. “Sure.” He glances at me. “We’ll be discussing a lot of fight business. Hopefully, you won’t get bored.”

  “No, I’m very interested to learn more about MMA fighting.” Until now, my experience was non-existent. Can’t even remember seeing a fight on TV before, but I’m about to get a fast lesson in all things MMA. I want to understand this part of Carter’s life. If it’s important to him, it’s now important to me.

  “Let’s meet at the Riverview Lodge at six p.m.”

  John leaves as quickly as he came and Carter pulls me into his arms and hugs me. His hands play with the end of my ponytail and tug, lifting my chin up to meet his troubled gaze.

  “I’m sorry we have to change our plans. I had something special prepared for tonight. Do you mind coming to this dinner instead? I’d like you to be there.”

  Caressing his back, I smile. “Yes, I’d love to come. I want to learn everything I can about this part of your life.”

  “I’m really glad you’re coming tonight.”

  I stare up at his warm, blue eyes filled with adoration. “Me too.”

  “Let’s finish up your session, then we’ll get ready.”

  ***

  The Riverview Lodge is a glamorous restaurant nestled along the beach of the Atlantic Ocean. After the sun sets, the normal turquoise water is black as night save for the glistening moonlight sparkling across the waves. In my knee-length, black dress and heels, I glide in front of Carter to our seats on the balcony. Covered in white linen with flowers in the center of the table, I imagine how romantic this setting could be if it was just Carter and me, but my thoughts are scattered by the arrival of his promoter, John and who I assume to be his trainer, Allan.

  Standing to shake hands, Carter puts his arm around me and rests it on my lower back as he reaches his hand out to take Allan’s, then John’s.

  “And who’s this lovely lady?” Allan’s cheeky grin is charming. It brightens his round face and detracts from the unsightly scar across his brow.

  “My girlfriend, Alex.”

  Allan outstretches his hand, and his bright, brown eyes widen further as he looks me over. “Carter here has been holding out on us. He didn’t tell us he had such a stunning girlfriend. Can’t blame him. I’d hide you away too.”

  My cheeks flush, and Carter tightens his grip and winks at me, giving me the impression Allan is being playful. My nerves settle.

  “Nice to meet you too,” I reply cordially.

  John waves his hand toward the table. “Let’s have a seat. We need to get this man fed.”

  Sliding into my seat, I take the white napkin and set it on my lap as our young male waiter approaches and fills our glasses with water.

  “What can I get you all to drink?”

  “A round of scotch and whatever the lady would like,” John tells him, then looks to me for my decision.

  “A glass of Moscato.”

  “You’re finest,” John adds, then smiles at me.

  Minutes later, the waiter delivers our drinks and takes our orders. As soon as he leaves, John and Allan jump right into discussing the upcoming fight on Saturday. I learn Miami is the location, only a couple hours from where we are in Villa Heights.

  Carter’s hand on my knee is taken away when Allan references a fight card and who Carter’s opponent is. Suddenly Carter’s expression turns serious and he’s clearly focused in on the tips and instructions Allan is sharing with him.

  Leaning forward, Allan’s hands are moving in the air as he talks to Carter. “Reggie has a better ground game. You’ll need to keep the fight on your feet. If he gets you down, it’s gonna be tough for you to get back up.”

  “How many wins does he have in?”

  “Two,” John shares.

  Watching Carter, I can see how serious he takes this. Every time he mentioned the fight before dread filled me, but now, hearing him and his trainer go over moves has me feeling more confident about his ability to win and even a little excited to see it happen.

  The waiter interrupts their discussion about fight techniques and Carter sits back and places his hand on my knee and caresses me affectionately before the food is served.

  With only one bite in, I’m practically moaning at how delicious the duck breast is. Carter winks and takes a bite of his braised beef and I can see him holding back his own moan of satisfaction. John is clearly pampering Carter and showing him the good life. As happy as I am for Carter, John’s efforts to impress him leave me with an odd feeling of apprehension.

  With the conversation returning to Saturday’s fight, my attention drifts to the balcony and lingers over the royal blue sky surrounding the silver moon. The water is no longer calm and smooth as when we arrived. The wind has picked up and sweeps across my legs, sending a shiver down my back. John catches my body’s reaction and stands, removing his jacket from the back of his chair and offers it.

  Startled by the gesture, I shake my head. “I’m okay, thank you.”

  Carter stops talking to Allan about pre-fight activities, his attention turning to John and me. “Thank you, but it’s time I get her home.”

  After thanking John for dinner, Carter listens to a few last-minute words of advice and preparation, then says his goodbyes.

  Exiting the restaurant, the evenings chill raises the hair on my skin. Carter places his arm around me and pulls me close, giving me the comforting warmth of his body.

  “What did you think?” he asks as we walk to his car.

  “The food was delicious, the company was great, and I’m utterly fascinated by how much goes into preparing for a fight. Are you nervous at all for Saturday?”

  Opening the door for me, he helps me in, then settles in the driver side.

  “I am some, it’s my very first fight, and two sponsors will be watching. I want to impress them and you,” he quickly adds.

  “You don’t need to impress me.” Taking his hand in mine, I kiss his rough knuckles. “I already adore you. Just don’t get hurt and that will be enough for me.”

  “I’ll do my best to come out the least scathed.”

  His soft lips press against my forehead and the tender affection increases how loved I feel by him.

  When we arrive at my place, I ask him in, and his smile spreads wide in appreciation. I only have a few days left with him until Saturday’s fight and I’m going to take as much of that time spoiling him as I can.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  —

  ALEX

  Tall, silver buildings fill the horizon as we drive into busy Miami. P
ulling up to the elegant Hotel, the valet opens my door, then walks to the trunk to retrieve our bags. John and Allan are waiting for us in the lobby. Peering through the clear glass doors ahead, I wave as I pull my suitcase alongside me. Nerves tickle my belly knowing tomorrow is the big day for Carter and winning this fight is a big deal for his career. He’s gone into what I call—fighter mode. He’s mentally focused and equally nervous. He hasn’t admitted it, but I can tell by the puckered brows and unusually long amounts of silence.

  After getting settled into our room, I’m going to make sure he has a relaxing evening. John said Carter needed a good meal, a swim, time in the hot tub or a massage. No alcohol and no strenuous physical activity. I guaranteed John that Carter would receive all of those things. With a prior call to the hotel, I booked a massage for this evening, following our dinner and his swim in the hotel pool.

  Approaching John and Allan, Carter places his hand at the small of my back and brings me closer to him. Reaching out a muscled arm, he shakes John and Allan’s hands.

  “Thank you for the hotel arrangements.”

  The crease of John’s mouth turns upward. “My pleasure. Enjoy your evening, relax, get a good meal, then tomorrow the fun will begin.”

  “You’re going to be a star, Carter. I know one when I see one,” Allan adds, tipping his head, his lips creased.

  “Thank you for everything you both have done for me. I hope to make you proud tomorrow and to impress the fuck out of the sponsors.”

  The men chuckle in unison.

  “You’re already checked in.” John hands Carter a wallet size envelope with room keys inside. “Room 218. See you tomorrow.”

  Taking the envelope, he tucks it into his pocket. “I’ll be ready.”

  With a pat on my shoulder, John tips his head at me, acknowledging me and I’m sure the duties I promised him I’d fulfill.