“You too,” he said.
He did not ask if he could call or text me, or if I would in return. I knew if I didn’t, he would come find me, just as he’d done that morning. He definitely didn’t take no for an answer, and I found it increasingly difficult to form that small word when he was near.
I did not feel the need to read before bed that night. There was no reason to analyze the events of the evening. His intentions were clear and I was no longer sure of mine.
The next day I took a long walk on the beach to clear my head, pondering what to do about the man I was now … seeing? Dating? I did not know what to call what Eddie and I were just yet. Standing at the edge of the water, I let the surf wash over my bare feet and tried to focus on the plans I needed to make. My father and I had never discussed what I should do once I had infiltrated the Valdez family. After he sent me away, I assumed it was he who would complete the mission. Now that I was left to continue alone, I was beyond confused and growing steadily more frustrated with my lack of plans.
The sound of laughter had me turning away from the small waves lapping at the shore. I looked over my shoulder to find the source of the delighted giggle I heard. A young couple, strolling hand and hand, passed behind me, so caught up in each other that they did not notice me standing only a few feet away watching them, kissing without looking ahead to where they were going. I could not stop a smile from coming to my face as I noticed their obvious connection. For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine Eddie and me in that way; a chance to be together, without any history or drama to keep us from finding happiness within each other. Seeing them reminded me that life was beautiful, maybe not mine, but somebody’s. I had never been a fairytale kind of girl since my life had always been a sideshow of horror. There was no way Eddie and I could ever have a happily ever after, at least not together. No matter how much either one of us might want it, it would never happen because of the lies and secrets that would always exist between us.
A text alert brought me out of my musing and I reached into my pocket as I turned away from the amorous couple whose backs were retreating farther away with every moment.
Hey beautiful. Would you allow me the honor of taking you out for a night on the town?
And then another text came in, as if Eddie knew I was contemplating my answer to the first.
Please say yes.
Oh, Eddie. I shook my head as I read and reread his texts. The butterflies in my stomach stirred as I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like to allow myself to feel something for him other than what had been instilled in me since childhood. My father’s words resounded in my head as I brushed those thoughts aside. As I stared at my phone, I debated ignoring his message. I’d come to the beach to try and figure out my next move, but ended up picturing what Eddie and I could be if I was allowed—or allowed myself—to have real feelings for the man who’d been nothing but kind and sweet to me.
Other than being Tony Valdez’s son, I could not figure out why he’d been added to the kill list. My father’s reasoning was apparent only to him, and he was no longer around to share whatever insight he had on the matter.
A third text came in before I had formulated an answer to the first one he’d sent.
I’ve been thinking about you all day.
“What am I supposed to do now?” I asked aloud, hoping that wherever my father was he would hear and answer my plea for guidance. I waited for a divine response that never came. Once I realized that no amount of waiting would provide an answer, I left the serenity of the beach behind to prepare for the night ahead with Eddie. I’d made up my mind to see him again that night; not that it was ever really an option not to. If I knew Eddie, and I was suspecting that I did, he would come and get me even if I’d declined his offer. I sent him a quick text to pick me up at eight and got to work picking out the perfect outfit for a night out with the man I’d been sent to destroy.
“So where are we headed?” I asked Eddie once we were in the car and headed towards the freeway.
“The casino.”
“Do you even gamble?”
“No, princess,” he said and smiled with a hint of cockiness I had glimpsed during our initial introduction. “I don’t need to.”
“I hate that nickname,” I uttered under my breath as I glared at him. “Then why do you hang out there so much?”
“Because, Roberta, I’ve got some business I have to take care of. Then I’m yours for the rest of the night … or as long as you’ll have me,” he said with a furtive glance in my direction, all traces of cockiness gone.
His words meant more than he was letting on, but I let it go for the time being.
Gus and Willy were waiting at the bar on the main floor when we arrived. It wasn’t surprising, but it was disappointing. The pair gave me the creeps and it wasn’t only my knowledge of their crimes against humanity that triggered my revulsion towards them. They were slime balls that you knew were undressing you with their eyes as they raked you from head to toe, intelligent in the clever sort of way, always looking out for their own interests, never caring if you lived or died, only seeking whatever would profit them the most. Now that I was beginning to know Eddie better, I found it hard to imagine them working together, let alone as friends.
“Why are they here?” I asked as we approached them, although I knew the answer. It was important to keep up the unknowing girlfriend act, and I wanted to know where Eddie and I stood. I needed to get him to trust me, even if it was the last thing he should do.
“I told you I have some business to take care of.”
“And they’re a part of it?”
He stopped us a few feet away from them and turned to face me. “Please don’t ask questions I’m not ready to answer. Please let’s—”
“Why won’t you—” I tried to say at the same time.
He stopped our budding argument with a swift kiss. When he pulled back, he gripped my face between his hands and placed his forehead against mine as he closed his eyes.
“I promise you, Roberta, in time I’ll tell you more. You’ve just got to trust me, okay?”
“Because you so obviously trust me so much, right?” I said as I tried to pull away from him. A throat clearing behind me halted Eddie’s reply. The stench of cheap cologne wafted into my nose and I fought a sneeze that caused my face to tingle and my eyes to water.
“I’ll be with you in a moment,” Eddie said to whoever was behind me. He hadn’t released my face, so I was unable to turn around and see who had approached us. I began to tremble as I imagined Tony behind me and wondered what I would do if I turned to find him standing there.
“You okay?” Eddie asked as he searched my face. I was positive I’d gone pale and possibly a little green.
“Who was that?” I asked as I pulled out of his grip and spun around to see who had interrupted us. The crowd was too big to pinpoint who it might have been.
“Will you stay here with Willy and Gus, please? I won’t be long.”
“Can I come with you?” I asked as I shook my head. I did not want to be left alone with them, even in a room full of people.
“No, princess,” he said as he shook his head.
“Fine. I’m just going to go. I’ll take a taxi home. It’s no big deal,” I said, even though I wanted to play I Spy while he was occupied with his business.
“I don’t want you to do that,” he said, shaking his head with a look of disappointment. “I promise I won’t take long and then we can get out of here after that. Please, just stay here, okay?” he asked as he led me to an empty stool at the bar where Willy and Gus were loitering. In Spanish, he told the pair not to let me out of their sight and pecked me on the lips before turning and disappearing into the crowd.
They both eyed me suspiciously before turning back to their conversation, continuing in Spanish to try—I assumed—to keep me from understanding what they were talking about. The bartender took my order as I eavesdropped on what they were saying. It took al
l of my willpower to contain an angry outburst as their discussion turned to how weak they believed Eddie to be, how he was nothing like his father, Eddie’s inability to follow through with his job, how they were tired of babysitting, how nice my tits were and finally what they’d like to do to me in the dark.
I’d heard enough.
They were so rapt in their conversation that they didn’t notice my retreat. Walking in the direction Eddie had taken, I headed towards the entrance to the lobby where I spotted Eddie in deep discussion with the person I presumed had interrupted us earlier. I tried to get a glimpse of the man that Eddie was talking to. He didn’t look familiar, which only made me more curious about his identity. As I waited inside the archway that led into the lobby, I eyed them as I tried to look as inconspicuous as possible.
The man in question was average height. His hair was slicked back, apparent by the way it laid flat and shiny against his scalp. He wore a white suit, alligator skin loafers and held onto a cane that I wasn’t sure was physically necessary or just an accessory added to complete his ensemble. His skin looked dark from where I stood and his posture was casual but on guard, evident by the grip on his cane that he was ready to attack at any moment, even if his shoulders seemed to hold no tension. I tried to get a look at Eddie’s face to read what was passing between them. I chanced a glance over my shoulder to assure myself that Willy or Gus weren’t watching me.
As I watched, Eddie lifted his hand to shake with the stranger who seemed to balk at the proffered gesture of politeness. Eddie didn’t seem to take offense, but excused himself once he noticed me hiding in the doorway. I looked past him as he came towards me, but was only able to glimpse a hint of an unrecognizable profile before Eddie’s handsome face obstructed my view.
“What are you doing out here, Roberta? Everything okay?” he asked as he looked me over then glanced over my shoulder.
I contemplated telling him about his disgusting friends, but decided against it for the time being, storing away that dirty knowledge for another time.
“Everything’s fine,” I replied.
“Where are Willy and Gus?” he asked as he looked over my shoulder again to see if they’d followed his order to not leave me alone.
“Why do you hang out with such assholes? You’re so much better than them. I don’t get it, Eddie.”
“They’re not assholes,” he said, not sounding sure of his statement. I cocked an eyebrow at him since he sounded as if he was also trying to convince himself of the validity of his last statement. A gentle smile broke out onto his face as he conceded. “Okay. Maybe they are. Come on, babe. Let’s get a drink.”
He reached down and grasped my hand as he led me back through the floor and towards our seats.
“Who was that guy?” I asked before we reached the bar.
“One of my father’s business associates.”
“Why was he talking to you?”
“It doesn’t concern you,” he said a little more abruptly than I liked. Eddie must have noticed the irritation I was trying to conceal since he back peddled almost immediately. “What I meant was it doesn’t matter. He came here expecting to meet my father. Needless to say, he was a little disappointed that he got the son instead,” Eddie explained wearily.
Meet his father? Was Eddie expecting Tony to show up here? I knew that one day—probably soon—I’d have to meet Tony. Even though I had prepared for that day for most of my life, I realized I still wasn’t ready to face the man who was responsible for murdering my parents or to let go of the man responsible for cracking open the carapace that surrounded my heart.
Eddie and I claimed two vacant stools at the bar as Gus and Willy moved closer to inquire about the meeting Eddie just had. Eddie refused to discuss what had gone down with the mystery man he’d spoken to and I didn’t ask about it again, not wanting to seem suspicious. We stayed for two rounds before deciding to call it a night.
“You sure you’re okay?” Eddie asked once we were in the car.
“I’m fine,” I told him even though I wasn’t.
“Something’s bothering you and before you argue, I know it because you get this little wrinkle right here,” he said as he touched a spot between my eyebrows with his index finger, “when you’re overthinking something.”
Oh. I wondered what other tells my body betrayed me with.
We didn’t speak for the rest of the ride home, both of us deciding to end the night early. When we pulled up to my house, Eddie got out and opened my door. Instead of heading towards my house, he led me across the street towards the beach.
“What are we doing?” I asked.
“I’d thought we’d go for a walk,” he said with a shy smile on his face that could only be described as adorable. As I looked at him, I realized I didn’t think I could ever hate this man.
I disengaged from him and bent over to slide off my heels, hanging then from my middle and index finger as I waited for Eddie to remove his shoes and socks. He reached for my free hand again and began walking towards the shoreline. The moon glowed over a cloudless night, a Cheshire Cat smile set among a diamond sparkle sky. The sea breeze lifted my hair off my neck and shoulders, sending a chill down my spine.
“Are you cold?” Eddie asked as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me tight into his side.
“A little.”
He let go of me and dropped his shoes into the sand. I tossed mine aside as well. Eddie began to run his hands up and down my goose pimpled arms before pulling me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me. I could feel his heartbeat against my chest and his breath at my ear as he nuzzled into my hair. I wrapped my arms around his waist, accepting the comfort he was giving and offered it back in return. He sighed loudly and began to speak so quickly and quietly that if he hadn’t been at my ear his voice would have been lost in the wind.
“I need you to let me speak. I need you—”
“What is it?” I asked before he could finish.
“Just let me get this out, okay? You aren’t going to like what I have to say and you aren’t going to like what I don’t.”
I tried to pull away, but he just held me tighter as he dropped his head to rest on my shoulder.
“Just say it,” I said.
“There are parts of my life that I will never be able to share with you. There will be times when I won’t be able to tell you where I’ve been or where I’m going. The last thing I want to do is lie to you. I never want to have to lie to you.”
“So don’t.”
“It’s not that simple, Roberta,” he said as he lifted his head to look me in the eye. “I wish it was. My family … my work … they’re really not open for discussion.”
“Why not?”
“It isn’t safe for you,” he said as he secured my hair that had been blowing in the wind and shielding my face from him.
Eddie was trying to protect me? It was touching, yet unnecessary, definitely foolish, but sweet nonetheless. His words from our first meeting came back to me. He promised he would never hurt me and that no one else would, either. I had no doubt he meant every word.
“I don’t know the appropriate response for that,” I told him, because the truth was I didn’t. My life had turned into one of those telanovelas Estefania used to watch while cooking and cleaning. I shook my head at the absurdity and took a step back from him. “I’m ready to go home.”
Needing time and space away from Eddie, I told him goodbye after a lingering kiss at my front door and sent him home for the night.
I hadn’t heard from Eddie since he had left me three days earlier. I was confused as hell, but I refused to give in and call him first. Although I didn’t know much of anything about dating, I couldn’t take the chance of coming across as the desperate girl. I’d made up my mind that I’d find him tonight, stalk him really, if I hadn’t heard from him once I returned from my afternoon at the beach.
During the time away from him, I walked the beach every day, hoping for a spark
of inspiration. The problem was, I didn’t know what to do next. Eddie refused to speak about his father, and I was unsure when or if I’d get the chance to meet him, or what I’d do once I did. The more time I spent with Eddie, the easier it became to forget why I was with him in the first place. I had to remind myself that my life was not a romance novel and our story would never have a happy ending. Thinking in those terms helped me put our relationship into perspective, even if it was skewed slightly by my foolish heart. I had to slow my pace if I was going to finish first in this race. Our relationship was already so intense. If we fizzled out too soon, everything that had happened up to now would be for nothing and I would have to start all over again from a different angle, and I just didn’t think I’d have it in me to follow through.
I checked my phone one last time before tucking it into my tote and heading out the front door to spend another day on the beach. While locking the door, I heard the telltale sound of Eddie’s engine on the street behind me. I waited on my doorstep as he parked and got out of his car.
“You read my mind,” he said as he made his way towards me wearing a t-shirt, swim trunks and Wayfarers.
“I was beginning to think I’d never hear from you again,” I said a little more tersely than I was allowed. Eddie wasn’t mine and never could be, I inwardly chided. I had to stop allowing my feelings towards him from getting in the way of what I needed to do. He was a means to an end and nothing more.
God, I was even lying to myself now.
“You could have called me,” he replied.
Aha. So he was playing the game, the bastard. Now I was extra glad I hadn’t broken down and called him first. “And I see that your hands are in working order as well.”
“Touché,” he said, stealing my line from the night at the casino. “Do you have everything you need?”
I nodded my head as he took my hand and starting walking across the street towards the beach. We found a place to settle and laid our towels down on the warm sand. The beach was only slightly busy considering it was spring break for most of the state universities. I’d always imagined crowds of people, reminiscent of Where the Boys Are, when I pictured Ft. Lauderdale beach this time of year. To my surprise and satisfaction, it was nearly deserted, save for a few families and lone sun worshipers. I felt relatively safe at least. The nagging fear of Eddie discovering my intentions prematurely was never far away, though.
The Mermaid & The Crocodile (The Kill List Series Book One) Page 11