Fearless

by Jennifer Jenkins

  “You’re broken, child.” A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye. “You’re broken.”

  Zo shook her head. “You’re not making any sense.”

  “The barrier is breeched. The floodgates.” She hiccupped. “They’re open.”

  “Millie?”

  The woman’s worried eyes snapped into focus. “Where did you think the magic came from, child?”

  “Are we talking about healing?”

  “Healing, whether by body alone or with the help of a healer, is a magic as old as time. And just like anything else, it demands payment.” She reached over and ran her fingers along the wooden legs of the bed. “Everyone—healer or no—is born with the magic to burn away impurities and heal the wounds of the body. A scratch on the arm. A broken bone. Mankind doesn’t require a healer to mend themselves. That magic lives within all of us.”

  She raised a withered finger. “A healer just helps it along. Without the fuel of a healer’s magic, the flame can flicker and die if the wound is too great. As healers, we are an accelerant to that flame. We grow the fire and keep it burning until the body is whole and well again.”

  Zo nodded. “We are the payment.” She’d learned all of this ages ago.

  “Wrong. Our love is the payment. But the order of life demands balance in all things.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  Millie sat for a moment, chewing on the inside of her lip. “Imagine a reservoir of water. We, as healers, can fuel healing fire with our love, but we must be able to keep the fire from consuming us. Once we are finished healing, our fire is doused by the water we’ve stored in our reservoir.

  “The creator made us so that our healing magic cannot exceed the level of our reservoir. Once that ‘water’ is used to douse the healing flame, it needs time to build again. If not, the fire of healing would grow beyond our ability to douse the flame when the healing is finished.”

  “And you think I’ve opened some sort of floodgate?” Zo shook her head, still not understanding.

  Millie began to mutter to herself again, her face pale, her eyes wide with worry. “A healing that wasn’t meant to be. A flame so hot the slow waters couldn’t quench. The gates open. The reservoir broken. The water no longer gathering … ”

  Was it possible that her experience healing Joshua had caused this? She’d didn’t see how. Even though she’d felt broken in the week following the boy’s healing, she couldn’t deny the power that now felt so close to her—a current that ran under the surface of her skin. She almost told the older healer as much but the words died in her throat when Millie spoke first.

  “The healing flame burns away the bad. A healer’s reserve of water dammed no more. Can’t access the flood to douse the magic. A reservoir of saving energy reduced only to a mere stream.” She reached out and ran a shaking finger down the side of Zo’s face. “A stream that can only carry the problem elsewhere.”

  Chapter Twelve

  “Won’t you at least come and see us off?” Zo asked Tess while adjusting the strap of her pack. Another trip. Miles and miles with provisions strapped to Zo’s back and rocks biting into the soles of her well-worn boots. The sour prospect mixed with the idea of leaving her loved ones yet again. Even though the trip was meant to only last a week, Zo didn’t know if she’d ever be comfortable apart from them again.

  Tess wrinkled her nose at Zo, but didn’t offer any kind of response as her little hands helped Millie hang herbs on a line outside the Healer’s Tent.

  Zo persisted. “Joshua will be there. And I hear the Raven have a special way of sending their people off. It might be interesting.”

  Tess bent down to grab another bundle of herbs to hand to Millie, dutifully ignoring Zo.

  “Don’t worry about us, Zo,” said Millie, her voice the model of forced lightness. “Young Tess and I have big plans to sew you both new dresses for the Ostara the Commander has planned.” Usually the old woman would have made some type of joke about Zo’s failure in the art of sewing unless it involved stitching men, but after their confusing talk about floods and fires, Millie simply averted her eyes and swallowed.

  “I’ll miss you,” said Zo. “And I’ll only be gone a week or so … ” She waited for her sister to say something, anything. Even outright anger would be better than silence.

  Finally, Zo sighed. “Be sure to study with Millie while I’m gone, and look out for Joshua and Gryphon.” She turned to leave, but couldn’t bring herself to walk away. Closing her eyes, Zo whispered, “I love you, bug. I’m sorry for everything. As soon as this war is over, I promise never to leave again.”

  Glancing over her shoulder, Zo noticed Tess’s hands hovering idle over the basket of herbs. The little girl’s shoulders seemed to shake, but that could have been Zo’s imagination. She waited another few moments, hoping her sister might turn around and send her off with a proper hug and goodbye.

  But she didn’t.

  With a reassuring nod from Millie, Zo hitched her pack higher onto her shoulders and headed toward Laden’s tent, where the others had planned to meet directly following morning meal. She’d been able to abandon her traditional Wolf clothing for buckskin trousers and a simple tunic with a leather belt tied around her waist. A small sheath hung from her belt, housing her dagger. Another hidden sheath was strapped to her calf.

  Eva, the Ram woman who’d followed Stone to the Allied Camp, had taught Zo how to properly wield and even throw the small blades while traveling through the wilderness. Zo managed well enough until the time came to actually kill an animal or harm a human being. It went against her healer-blood to destroy what she’d dedicated her life to preserving.

  “Zo?”

  Zo jumped a foot in the air and might have fallen were it not for the strong set of hands that found her waist.

  “I’m sorry.” Gryphon’s touch carried its own kind of power—relieving tensions, offering support. “I was just looking for you.”

  “What is that?” she asked, pointing to the black painted teardrops under his eyes.

  He sighed and threw up his hands in surrender. “Joshua and Sani have finally found something they agree upon.”

  Zo ran her finger along the dried paint. The skin there was soft, unlike his constantly stubbled cheeks and hardened muscular build. Being close to him, touching him, breathing his air—it wasn’t so different from the sedatives she sometimes gave her patients. “And what is that, exactly?”

  Gryphon played with the ends of Zo’s hair as he spoke. “They’re both determined to make my life difficult.”

  Zo couldn’t help but think of the previous night and the fire. She frowned. “I think you do that just fine on your own.”

  “Sani tells me the black tears are a way of showing sadness when the Raven send warriors off. Instead of showing their weakness by crying real tears, they paint them on their faces.” Gryphon snorted. “Sani probably thought he was doing me a favor, but I’m sure Joshua just wanted to play a prank while I slept. I don’t think I like Sani and Joshua spending time together. They bring out the worst in each other.”

  Zo imagined the two boys who were raised to hate one another, tiptoeing into Gryphon’s tent with a pot of paint.

  Zo looked around. “Where is your new guard?”

  Gryphon offered a lazy shrug. “They’ll find me eventually.”

  “And have they found the missing guards from last night?”

  Gryphon shrugged. “They probably deserted to avoid punishment for leaving their post.”

  For someone who had just faced the possibility of losing a hand, Gryphon didn’t seem at all repentant. Didn’t he want this to work out? Couldn’t he even try to build trust with Laden and her people? Zo took a deep breath. “We need to talk.”

  “I’m sorry I lied last night,” he blurted. “I didn’t want Laden to catch you in your lie about leaving me at my tent. And I knew that if I told him I was out walking the camp on my own before the fire, he woul
dn’t have believed me.”

  She’d assumed as much, and she didn’t want to hurt him by coming right out and accusing him of anything, but the coincidence of those men and the fire was too great to ignore.

  “I didn’t start it, Zo, if that’s what you’re wondering.” His voice took on a harder edge. “As much as I can’t stand being surrounded by Wolves every moment of every day, I would never compromise your and Joshua’s situation.”

  He cupped her face. The intensity of his clear brown eyes seeped into her. “Trust me.” A pause, and a softer, “Please.”

  Zo flinched as his fingers brushed the irritated skin that ran in a line from temple to jaw. Until then, she’d been able to hide the burn with her unbound hair.

  Gryphon gently tucked her hair behind her ear and sucked in a sharp breath. “You’re hurt. Who did this?” And then the lion was back, the gentleness of before replaced by the sleeping beast within.

  “No one. I’m not really sure how it happened.” Zo didn’t understand Millie’s explanation earlier, and she wasn’t prepared to accept that she was broken as a healer.

  “I believed you the first time, but this?” He turned away and began pacing. “Someone is trying to punish me. Your bruises. The fire last night. Now this burn … ” He stopped pacing, and the hurt that filled his expression—sadness and frustration magnified by the stained black tears painted on his face—was too much.

  “You’re protecting one of these animals,” he snarled.

  “These animals are my people, Gryphon, and you know me better than to believe that I would ever let someone hurt me and stay quiet.”

  They stared at each other, both seething, for several long moments before Raca found them. She wore buckskin pants, a vest, and a braided leather cord around her forehead. A lone black feather tied at the side of the cord was lost in the backdrop of her dark hair. “The company has gathered. Everyone’s waiting on you.” She looked between them and frowned. “Is everything all right?”

  “Be right there,” Zo managed, and Raca, after only a small hesitation, left them.

  When they were alone again, Gryphon took Zo’s hand and brought it to his lips. “I don’t want to part like this.” He kissed her hand again. “Please tell me what’s going on.”

  Zo couldn’t meet his eyes, but eventually the words just spilled over. “Millie says I’m broken.” She chewed on her bottom lip, stalling to give her emotions time to settle. “She says that, somehow, the ailments of my patients are carrying over to me.”

  Gryphon frowned. “My ribs.” He reached out and gently ran his hands over her bruised ribs. “Those men burned in the fire last night.”

  Zo nodded. “I didn’t want to tell you because I’m still trying to hide from it myself.” She looked up at him. “Who am I, if not a healer?”

  Gryphon cupped the back of her neck and, before Zo had even a moment to prepare herself, bent down and touched his lips to hers. It was a tentative kiss. A brush and a peck. She tilted her head a fraction to one side and threaded her arms around his torso as he pressed his palms into her back, bringing her closer. The kiss deepened, its rhythm soft and deliciously sweet. Her heart fluttered when he abandoned her lips and moved along her jaw to her ear. “I really don’t want you to go.” His deep voice resonated strong and tender, sending a chill down her spine.

  Zo squeezed him closer, tucking her chin and pressing her head into his chest so she could hear the steady rhythm of his beating heart. Doubt whispered in the recesses of her mind, lingering in the background of her thoughts. A pest that wouldn’t fully be ignored. He thinks my people are animals.

  Zo held fast to Gryphon’s hand as they hiked up to the slot canyon at the northern end of the valley. Joshua and Sani followed behind, arguing about whether speed or strength was more important in hand-to-hand fighting, while Zo tried not to think about leaving.

  They reached the high bench of the foothills and were met by the small company traveling to the Kodiak Caves consisting of Talon and Raca, as well as Ikatou and two of his Kodiak clansmen.

  “Are you ready?” Ikatou asked Zo.

  Gryphon’s hand tightened around hers and she nodded. “Lead the way.”

  They hiked north until they reached the tall fissure in the canyon wall that marked the slot canyon. On either side of the gap, two columns of Ravens, clad in full warrior garb, waited. Each Raven had black tears painted on his face and a bow in hand. The warriors were all fixed on Raca and Talon, the future leaders of their clan. Brother and sister walked shoulder to shoulder through the tunnel of Raven. Ikatou and his two men followed single file, leaving Laden, Gryphon, Joshua, and Zo.

  “I want to hear everything about the Kodiak Cave. I’m so jealous you get to see them,” said Joshua. “Be safe.”

  He stepped in and hugged Zo, but she held onto him a moment longer and said, “Please watch out for—”

  “Tess,” Joshua finished. “I know. I always do.” His lopsided, freckled smile turned Zo’s heart to mush.

  Laden stepped up next to offer her a warm hug. She inhaled his familiar scent. “Thank you for doing this, Zo. Remember, the goal is to get Murtog to join us for the Ostara. You will need to convince him to leave within the next four days to make it back in time.”

  Zo nodded.

  “And Zo?” Laden cupped her cheek as though she were still a child. “Be safe, and watch that tongue of yours. The Kodiak can be … unpredictable.”

  When Laden had stepped away enough for Gryphon to come forward, Gryphon lifted his arms and Zo filled the space before the weight of his embrace folded around her. Zo laid her head on one of his broad shoulders. “I will miss you every moment you’re away.” He whispered so only she could hear, “Remember, you are far more important than Murtog or anyone else. Come back with or without the chief’s agreement.” He took the time to kiss the backs of each hand, where the blood oath scars had formed, then cupped his hand around the back of her neck and pressed his forehead to hers. “If you’re not back in seven days, I’m coming after you.”

  “Gryphon!” Zo started, but he gently covered her mouth. “No arguments.”

  Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and she quickly batted them away. She pressed up onto her tiptoes to kiss his warm lips.

  Laden, standing a few feet away, cleared his throat, and Zo forced her body to step away from Gryphon’s. The final member of their travel party, she walked through the tunnel of Raven to join the others. Row by row, the Raven in the line turned to face her with military exactness. When she reached the slot canyon with the others, the heavily feathered Raven Chief stepped forward and said, “May the winds carry you and bring you safely h … home.” He stumbled over the last word. A lance of pain shot across his face.

  Thanks to the Ram, the Raven no longer had a home. They could never go back to their sacred Nest now that the Ram knew its location. Zo’s heart ached for the man. For his whole clan.

  The chief cupped his hands around his mouth and released a shrill caw. At the same moment, bow strings stretched back, loaded with the Raven’s most deadly weapon. Arrows flew high in both directions in exquisite unison and landed in almost perfect lines a hundred yards away.

  Zo looked back to find Gryphon staring, not at the impressive show of skill from the Raven but directly at her. So handsome and strong. So clearly concerned for her wellbeing.

  She lifted a hand and waved, but then had no choice but to follow the line of travelers through the slot canyon, Gryphon disappearing from sight.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Laden clapped Gryphon on the shoulder. “Time for us to get to work, son. Staring at that rock wall won’t bring her back any sooner.”

  Gryphon nodded and walked with Laden back down the foothills toward the camp. The first horn would sound soon, signaling training.

  “It’s taken some rearranging, but I finally have your first commission of men.”

  “How many?” Gryphon asked.

 
; “Forty. All Wolves.”

  Fantastic.

  “A few of my lieutenants and I will observe you for the next few days.”

  Gryphon scoffed. “If you don’t trust me, why give me a band of men to train? Half of them will assume I started that fire last night.”

  “And the other half will think you killed your guard to do it,” Laden conceded. “But you didn’t start that fire, Gryphon. I think we both can agree that someone in this camp wanted it to look like you had.” He walked beside him with fingers linked behind his back. “The Wolves aren’t as ignorant as you might think. I’ve been employing some old Ram training tactics with only the Wolves in the camp.”

  “What do you know of Ram training tactics?”

  Laden ignored him. “Several of my officers are doing their best to teach proper technique, but no one has any actual fighting experience with this type of warfare.” He paused for a few more steps then said, “To win this war, we have to defeat the Ram phalanx. And the only way to do that … ”

  Gryphon stopped walking. They’d reached the upper fields and a row of young maize divided their paths. “You can’t be serious.”

  Laden nodded, his face a mask of solemnity.

  “You want me to teach your men to fight as a phalanx?” Gryphon’s jaw fell open. It was a type of warfare that demanded absolute trust, flawless execution, and an insane amount of discipline. It took a good phalanx years to learn to work well together—time the Allies certainly didn’t have. “What you’re asking is impossible. And even if they did learn the technique, there is no way they could match shields with the Ram.”

  “We’ve actually been training for some time now,” Laden said, conversationally. “Instead of your typical twenty-men mess unit, we will have forty. A wall ten wide but four deep, instead of two.” Laden went on to describe in detail some of the training they’d already undergone as they resumed their walk to the training field.