“Do you want to know why I was awake when you texted me?” Luca’s tone is serious and calm again. “I couldn’t sleep because I was dreaming of Valeria and how I failed her. I want you to have the baby, Hadley. I just don’t want to be a part of it. I wouldn’t be able to stand it if something happened to your baby under my watch. I know you want it, and I wish I could give it to you, but I don’t see it happening. Even if Valeria wasn’t part of it, I’ve never pictured myself as a father.”
“Oh, Luca.” My heart breaks a little bit more hearing his words. I know how much his little sister meant to him, and I can remember him having the nightmares. He hasn’t had them in a long while.
“Why didn’t you tell me that the nightmares came back? I would have helped you.” I take his hand. “I want this baby and you. I know that makes me selfish, but Luca, you know there’s no one else in this world I want but you. Our baby will be fine if you watch it. Valeria died in a freak accident and it wasn’t because of you. You are the most caring, loving, hardheaded person I know. You are always trying to protect me, even when you don’t even realize it. You are so strong, Luca. That’s why I need you, because...because I’m not strong like you and I don’t know if I can do this without you.” The tears roll faster down my face.
“You are strong. Just like your mother was when she raised you.” He looks into my eyes. He always hates it when I cry, but I can’t help it now. Luca’s face grows serious. “You would trust me with the baby?”
“Of course I would, Luca.” How could he even think that I wouldn’t? “I trust you even at this very moment. I know you would protect me from any harm. I know that when this baby comes, you’ll do the same. I told you, Luca, you’re a good person. A loving person. That’s who you are. I’ve never doubted that for a single second.”
Luca pulls his hand away from mine and I feel empty without his touch. “I don’t know, Hadley. I don’t know if I trust myself as much as you do.” I can feel him closing himself off again.
“You do know. You just don’t see it yet because you’re hardheaded.”
We don’t break our eye connection and I know that he’s done talking. As much as I want to nag him until he talks some more, I don’t do it. I let it go.
“I’m done, if you’re ready to take me home,” I tell him. I try to pay for what I ate, but Luca cuts me a mean look. I put my wallet away.
We don’t talk in the SUV as he takes me back home. He continues to listen to a popular Russian band, whose name I can’t pronounce. The music is soulful and it almost sounds like she’s in pain. For the few phrases that I pick up on, she’s lost her love. My heart breaks as I look over to Luca. He looks so sad. Normally, he would have a serious face, but never sad. I hate that look on him.
When he pulls into the driveway, we’re right back to where it started this evening. We’re still not together. He still doesn’t want to be a dad and I won’t get rid of the baby.
“Is that really dark gray suit in the closet?”
I nod. “Near the back, why?”
“I have an interview tomorrow and I want to wear it. Do you mind if I come in and get it?”
“Luca,” I sigh heavily. “You have a key. You can come in anytime and get your stuff. I’m not a bad person.”
“I know, Hadley.” He nods and we both get out of the SUV.
I head up to the bedroom with Luca trailing behind me. I may have shaken my ass a little bit more with each step because I know he’s looking. He always looks.
Once we’re in the bedroom, I lean against the doorframe as he heads over to the closet and pulls out the suit. Seeing him in our bedroom speeds up my heart and someone must flipped on my horny switch to the ‘on’ position. I’m practically panting and he hasn’t even touched me.
Would he?
I might be able to work my charm a bit and he could come around. It worked every other time that I’ve needed his dick.
I roll my eyes. I’ve turned into some male horn-dog. Oh my God, I am such a horn-dog.
Fucking hormones.
“Hadley?”
I look over at Luca and he’s looking at me as if I should be locked up in some nut house. With the way my moods have been swinging lately, I probably should be.
“Are you okay?”
I take a deep breath. I walk into the bedroom and shut the door. Oh great, what am I going to do now? Kidnap him? That thought has crossed my mind more than once.
“Hadley.” He uses that tone when he knows I’m up to something.
I sashay over to him and his eyes grow wide. He knows I’m going to flirt with him. He’s been with me for ten years. Luca, of all men in this world, knows my tricks.
“I need another favor.” I can hear the lust in my voice already.
“No.” His voice is firm, but I hear the crack in it. He wants it, too.
“Luca, I haven’t had sex since our last time. Please, I will get on my hands and knees to get laid this moment.”
Luca can’t hold back his smile, and I know his testosterone is thinking of a blowjob.
“Fine, I’ll do that, too,” I giggle. “Please, Luca.” I pout a little bit.
He shakes his head. “It’s not a good idea.”
“Fine,” I snap. I cross my arms and pull out my final weapon. “I’ll call one of those male escorts numbers. I’m sure I can pay someone with your money to take of my needs.”
Luca’s eyes turn a darker brown. I can see how jealous he is. He’s never had to worry about me cheating on him, but he’s still jealous when guys talk to me. “What?”
“I think you heard me.”
Luca towers over me. “Hadley.”
“Luca,” I pant his name and he’s still not touched me
“You’re still mine.”
Before I can say anything, he grabs my face and kisses me. God, Luca can kiss. Since the first time he ever touched my lips, I haven’t wanted anyone else to ever kiss me.
“Luca.” I break away from his lips. He rests his forehead against mine. “Please, don’t make me beg. I know I’m not as thin–”
“Baby, you’re wearing too many clothes.” The lust in his eyes matches his gruff tone.
“Then do something about it.” I step back, playing his game.
Luca grabs the bottom of my shirt and jerks it over my head. My long hair is tickling my back. I hadn’t put on a bra. I bite my lip as he looks me up and down. He tugs me closer to him by my jeans belt loop. I run my hands up his chest and swiftly unbutton his shirt.
If there’s one thing that’s never changed about Luca in the ten years we’ve been together, it’s the care he takes of his body. His pecs are still firm and hard. His abs are perfectly chiseled; it’s as if a Russian God is standing before me.
He wastes no time ripping off my jeans and thong. He runs his fingertips up my body causing me to shiver. I can’t hold off much longer as my body hums for him and his touch.
I drop to my knees and undo his pants. I can hear him growl as he springs free. My mouth is dry from my panting and I begin to stroke him. Luca says how much he wants me in Russian. It never fails. The moment anything sexual happens between us he generally speaks in Russian. It always turns me on more.
I lick my lips and then lick the tip of him. He fists his hands in my hair. I engulf my mouth around him, taking him all the way to the back of my throat. Luca guides me by tugging on my hair. Luca has never hurt me in bed. We’ve been rough with each other, but it’s hard and raw and just the way we want it.
“Bystrge.”
If there is any word I do know in Russian, it’s ‘faster’. Luca’s command makes me move up and down his shaft quicker. I grip his hips as he’s almost pounding in my mouth.
“Ya, blizko, Otstupa.”
No way, Luca. I’m not going to pull away from you. I want to feel him in my mouth. I need it to cure my craving.
“Hadley,” he pants my name as I feel him burst in my mouth. I swallow all of him down as he loosens his grip in my hair an
d I peek up at him through my lashes. He’s looking down at me and I know he’s ready for his assault on me.
“Poluchit’ na krovati, lyubvi.”
I scramble to my feet and quickly get on the bed, as he commanded me. I lay on my back and Luca hovers over me. He starts with my lips. Kissing me hard and even nipping my bottom lip. He travels down my neck to my breast. I arch my back and grip the sheets with my life as he sucks and bites my nipples. Every one of his touches sends me into a tailspin of ecstasy. Luca leaves my breasts and licks down my stomach. He stops for a brief second over my growing belly. He doesn’t kiss it or touch it; he’s staring.
“Luca, please, I need you.” There is a double meaning to that sentence, but he doesn’t look at me as he skips my belly.
He pulls my legs open and I move my hands into his soft hair. He kisses the inside of each of my thighs and then bites my hips.
“Luca.”
I feel him smile as he crosses over and licks me. My whole body shudders as his soothing tongue touches my hot core. He sucks me harder and moves one of his hands from my hip to slip two fingers in me. I rock my hips against his face and his beard tickles me, sending me over the edge. Luca never has to spend much time licking me. He knows exactly what buttons of mine to push. The faster he moves his fingers in and out, the louder I pant his name.
When Luca softly bites down on my clit, I shake as the orgasm bursts through my body. Luca releases me and licks all the way up my body, even over my stomach. He bites down on my collarbone and I open my legs wider.
“Nyet, perevorachivat.” His eyes meet mine.
I know what he wants and I turn over on my stomach. I prop myself up on my knees and elbows as he positions himself behind me. He pushes my head down and then pulls my hips up. I take a deep breath in because I know what’s coming.
Luca slams into me and I release my breath. He pulls out and then pounds right back in. His delicious assault on my body is making my insides flip and squirm.
I love it.
I love the way he takes control in bed.
It’s as much of a turn-on as when he speaks Russian to me.
Over and over, he thrusts in and tugs my hips back. He moves faster and faster, and I can’t keep my thoughts straight as my body is screaming for release.
“Luca. Luca,” is all I can say until the tension is so tight I’m about to break.
“Day mne, lyubov.”
I yell his name one more time as he commands my release and the tension breaks. I feel Luca finding the same release I am. Neither of can move as I collapse, turning onto my back and he falls to my side. We stare into each other’s eyes as we try to regain normal breathing and heart rates.
“Luca...stay...stay with me tonight,” I beg him.
He nods. “I’ll stay tonight, love.”
My heart sighs as I lay on his chest. The sound of his rapid heartbeat is music to my ears and sends me into a deep sleep.
~ ~ ~
The sun is bright in the room, and for the first time since this all started, I wake up with a smile on my face. I roll, hoping that maybe Luca isn’t working out yet, but the bed is empty. The house is quiet. All the memories rush back to tell me that this isn’t the same. We’re not the same.
Luca isn’t here because he left.
He doesn’t want this baby and I’m not sure what more I can do to convince him. He thinks it’s all because of Valeria and he doesn’t have the ability to protect our child.
The tears fall again. How the hell have I cried so much? I curl up in his pillow, inhaling his scent as my body shakes with the loss of my soulmate.
Chapter Fourteen
Luca
“Save them, Luca,” Valeria says.
Snow is covering everything and I’m freezing. Valeria doesn’t seem affected by it, even though she’s standing barefoot on the ice.
“Save who?”
“Can’t you hear her?”
I huff in frustration. My teeth begin to chatter, so I wrap my arms around myself. “Hear who? Where are your shoes? Here.” I bend to remove my own to give them to her, but Valeria stops me.
“Luca, come on.” She smiles. Skates appear on her feet and mine as she begins to glide across the ice.
“We shouldn’t be here,” I tell her.
“You have to save them,” she tells me firmly. Before I can question her again, she turns to face me, holding out her hands. “Let’s do a figure eight, Luca.”
I take her hands and we skate around the ice silently. Faintly, I hear a woman’s voice. It sounds familiar, but I can’t make out who it might be.
“Luca, Luca, Luca, help me.”
I skid to a stop and Valeria raises an eyebrow at me. “Are you paying attention now, Luca? You can only hear her if you pay attention. If you don’t, she’ll die, too.”
“Who is she?”
Valeria shrugs. “I don’t know her. You do. Are you going to save them?”
Them? I thought it was only a girl.
“Luca, please, help me,” the voice comes again, louder this time. “I need you. Don’t leave me here alone. Help me!”
Valeria tugs on my hand. “Let’s skate some more.”
The voice pleads with me again. “I need to save her. I can’t leave her. We have to help her.” Although, I still don’t know who she is.
Valeria disappears and I hear a tapping sound coming from some place nearby. I skate toward where I thought it came from. The ice is clear and beneath it is Valeria and a pregnant Hadley. Valeria is calm, but Hadley is panicked.
“If you save me, you can save her,” Valeria says.
I drop to my knees before removing one of my skates. Maybe the blade can help me break it. I slice and slice at the ice. Hadley’s skin turns blueish. She’s screaming at me now.
“Help me! You have to save us! Luca, please.” Water pours into her mouth, her screams garbled.
My eyes flit to Valeria. Her hands are pressed to the ice, but she’s not freaking out.
“I’m trying. I’m almost there,” I say to Hadley.
“Try harder!”
Just as I think I’m close enough, my skate disappears and the ice hardens. Oh, no. My hands frantically run over the now smooth surface. Furious and fearful, I slap my hands down. The ice breaks, a hole forming, and two hands reach out of the water. One is Valeria’s young, small hand. The other is Hadley’s; her hand is blue now. I quickly lie on my stomach, grab both of their hands, and pull. Hadley comes closer, but Valeria’s hand slips from mine.
“No! Valeria!” I scream, searching for her. I hurry to pull a coughing Hadley out and then reach into the water for Valeria.
“She’s gone, Luca,” Hadley whispers.
My body goes still. She’s right. Valeria is gone. I lost her again.
Despite the chill I felt in my dream, I wake up drenched in sweat, breathing too hard. My hair is stuck to the edges of my face and my shirt is sticking to my back. I toss the covers away from me. I’m too hot, my heart beats erratically, and my pulse is threatening to burst from my skin. Stumbling into the bathroom, I turn on the shower to the coldest setting. I step in fully clothed, closing my eyes as the water pours over me.
Hadley’s never been in my nightmares. Why was she this time? My body officially cools off when I wonder if this means something has happened to her. I step out of the shower, almost slipping on the tile floor as I run to my phone. The screen is stubborn with my wet fingers, so I wipe my hand on the bed, finally able to call her.
She sounds sleepy when she answers, “Luca?”
I start speaking frantically, asking if she’s okay, when she interrupts me.
“Luca, slow down. It’s three in the morning and my Russian isn’t that good.”
Taking a deep breath, I force myself to speak English. “Are you okay?” There’s a pause from her, which freaks me out. “Hadley, answer me!”
“I’m fine,” she responds. “I was asleep. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Rel
ief overwhelms me as I crumble to the floor. “I’m fine. I’m sorry for waking you up.”
“Luca, what happened? You were panicked and scared.”
My heart is still threatening to burst through my chest. “I had a nightmare and it just got the best of me. I thought something might’ve happened to you. I’m sorry–”
“Oh, Luca,” she interrupts. “I’m sorry you had another one. I–”
“Are you sure you’re okay? Nothing out of the ordinary happened? You don’t feel weird or bad?” I’m not going to believe it until I see her. My hands are shaking and the chill from my wet clothes is starting to make me cold. “I shouldn’t ask, but can you come here? I’m not in the perfect condition to drive or I would come to you. I just need to see you.”
“Yeah, I can. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be on my way. What room are you in?”
“603. Be careful.”
Every second, the nightmare replays in my mind as I attempt to analyze it. I feel guilty that even in my own dreams, I couldn’t save my little sister. And this time, Hadley was there, too. My stomach rolls with the thought.
A knock sounds on my door, so I push myself off the floor to answer. Hadley’s hair is a mess and she looks worried. Tonight is the first time I’ve spoken to her since I left her house the morning after we made love. I pull her against me, wrapping my arms tightly around her.
“Why are you wet?”
“I was hot, so I got into the shower. Thank you for coming.” I usher her inside.
“You should change.”
I can breathe a little easier now, so I grab some clothes to change.
“Luca,” Hadley starts while I’m in the bathroom. “Why would you be worried about me?”
It’s not until I walk back out that I answer her. “I just was.”
Her lips part as if she’s going to push for more, but she doesn’t. “Do you have them every night?”
You and Me Forever (Oh Captain, My Captain Book 6) Page 8