With nothing left to do, she wrapped her arms around her middle and bent over, closing her eyes. She did her best to breathe deeply and try to calm herself. Maybe Jake would take pity on her and just leave, go outside or to the kitchen, or…anywhere. Just give her a few minutes to make her escape without having to look at him.
“Olivia, I am so sorry,” he said gruffly from across the room. “That never should have happened.”
Oh, God…
“Here you are helping me with the biggest crisis of my life, and I go and…and…maul you.” He groaned and banged his head slightly on the glass. “I wouldn’t blame you at all if you wanted to pack up and go. Hell, I’ll even load your car if you want.”
“Wait…what?” Jake was taking responsibility for the kiss? She raised her head and looked over at him – willing him to turn around. “You don’t need to apologize to me. I’m the one who keeps mauling you apparently.” She wanted to chuckle, to make it sound like she realized what an idiot she was, but all that came out was a strangled groan. “I know that you’re going through a really tough and emotional time.” Now make it seem like it was nothing. Like it was no big deal. “It’s okay; really. I’m not going to read anything into it. It was impulsive. It wasn’t like you really wanted to kiss me or anything. I learned my lesson a long time ago where that topic is concerned.”
He finally turned around. Anger and confusion written on his face. He stepped out of the darkness and came across the room and sat down on the coffee table in front of her. She was used to his scowling. He had been doing it for days. Except now she was the reason for it, and it made her scoot a little further back on the couch. “What the hell are you talking about?” he asked lowly.
Olivia rolled her eyes. Geez, was he really going to make her say it? To relive her most humiliating moment out loud? She looked directly at him and saw that he was waiting for an answer. “Oh, please…the last time we kissed like that you practically shoved me halfway across the room before taking off. I may not have known a lot about men, Jake, but I certainly was able to tell when one is pretty much repulsed by me.”
Why couldn’t the floor just open up and swallow her whole right now? She’d go willingly.
“Wait, are you talking about your birthday party?”
Now she was annoyed. “Do you remember us kissing any other time?”
He shook his head. “Olivia, that was like…eight years ago. You were a kid and I…”
“I get it,” she quickly interrupted. “It’s not a big deal. We don’t have to re-live it, okay? You weren’t attracted to me. It’s fine. I got over it. Eventually. Sort of. Message received. Loud and clear.” Oh, God, now she was babbling. She cleared her throat. “So really, I understand that you were probably just letting off a little steam right now. No big deal. We’re good. We’re fine.” Just shut up!
Jake reached out and placed a warm hand on her knee. “Olivia, I think you misunderstood what happened. Yes, you kissed me, and yes, I pushed you away, but not because I wasn’t attracted to you. I was! But you took me by surprise; and I saw that Mike was coming into the garage, and I knew if he saw us…kissing, that he’d kick my ass and then start yelling at you. I didn’t want to ruin your party.”
“But…”
“I guess I did anyway,” he said miserably. “God, Olivia, I am so sorry. I had no idea that you took it that way. I tried to find you later that night, but you were always surrounded by people.” He ran a weary hand over his face. “I should have made more of an effort.”
“Wait,” she said cautiously, “are you saying that if Mike hadn’t been coming that you would have kissed me back?” He nodded. “That you wouldn’t have pushed me away like I had some sort of contagious disease?”
“Liv,” he began softly, “if Mike hadn’t come in, I just might have turned you around and pushed you into the corner and kissed you for the rest of the night.”
She fell back against the cushions in awe. “Wow. I had no idea.”
“I knew it was wrong,” he continued. “I mean, I know you had just turned eighteen so legally you were an adult, but you were still so young. It felt wrong to me – like I was somehow taking advantage of you. But suddenly, you weren’t just Mike’s little sister, you blossomed into this beautiful woman that I found very desirable. So desirable that it was hard to control myself around you sometimes.” He shook his head. “That’s why tonight never should have happened. There is so much going on here in my life right now that I should have known better than to act impulsively.”
“Why? We’re both adults, Jake, and clearly we’re attracted to one another. What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is that my life is a mess right now, Liv. I have no right starting something that isn’t going to go anywhere. The babies need to be my first – my only – priority. I need to get this house done – for them. I need to figure out my business situation – for them. I can’t think about myself. Right now, it has to be all about them.”
“I get that, Jake, I really do, but…we’re not kids. We’re both adults, and it’s not like I’m asking you for some kind of long-term commitment here.” He looked at her as if she were crazy. And maybe she was.
Shaking his head, Jake stood and began to pace. “No,” he said adamantly. “That’s not…it’s just…” He turned and faced her. “It’s not right, Olivia. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
Now she stood and stalked across the room toward him. She almost laughed when he began to back away. “Who are you to tell me what’s fair to me and what’s not? I’m a grown woman, dammit, and if I say that I’m okay with it, then I am!”
He held up his hands in surrender. “Look, I’m sure that you think that you’re okay with it, Liv. And in the right-now, maybe I would be, too. But we’ve known each other too long to just jump in and do something like this. There’s too much at stake.” He shook his head as if to clear it. “I need to focus on the babies. I can’t…I can’t let myself be distracted by…Damn it, Olivia, I just can’t!”
For a moment there, Olivia thought it was adorable that he couldn’t even form a coherent sentence. But she wasn’t going to let it deter her, either. For years she had pined for this man, and for years she had convinced herself that she was over him. But now? Finding out that he really had been attracted to her and experiencing the kiss that they just had was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. There was no way that Olivia was going to be able to just stay here for the next few weeks without experiencing the rest of the possibilities.
Maybe Jake was right, maybe she would regret it, but wouldn’t she regret it more if she didn’t take the chance at all? For so many years, Jake Knight had taken up residence in her head and her heart, she wasn’t about to let go of the chance for him to be a part of her body without a fight.
“Look, I just don’t think that it’s going to be possible for us to ignore the feelings that we have for each other – particularly when we’re going to be living together for the next few weeks.”
“Then I’ll get someone else to come and stay with me,” he said quickly, his voice laced with panic.
Olivia laughed. “If it were that easy, I think you would have done that rather than calling me in the first place.” She began to slowly walk toward him again. “I’m here now, Jake,” she said softly. “And I’m not going any place. I promised you a month, and I’m not breaking that promise to you. If you think that you can ignore me and what just happened here for the next three weeks, then be my guest. But I’m telling you that I have no intention of ignoring it or forgetting it.”
Jake closed his eyes and grimaced as if he was in pain. Not her finest hour, Olivia thought. Why did it have to be this man who made her want to be bold when clearly, every time she was, he reacted so badly? You’d think her ego would be battered and broken by now. But now she knew better. She knew Jake was as attracted to her as she was to him, and he may fight it now, but Olivia silently vowed to herself that she’d change his way of thinking.
She let out a loud sigh and stepped away from him and walked over to the couch and picked up her forgotten drink. “You have a right to feel the way that you do.”
He nodded his head. “Thank you.”
“But…so do I,” she said sweetly. “You may think that you know what’s best – for everyone – but I don’t necessarily agree with that. You’re overwhelmed right now, and I get that. Things are changing all around you, and I’m sure that it’s freaking you out.”
“It is,” he said warily.
“I’m still not going anywhere.” She said the statement firmly and stared him in the eye as she said it.
“Olivia, I’m telling you that a relationship of any kind between us would be wrong.” There wasn’t much force behind those words, and it gave Olivia her first glimmer of hope.
“So you’re saying that I should just forget that I have feelings for you? That I ever had feelings for you?” Jake nodded, she shook her head. “It’s not gonna happen.”
“But…”
“Let me worry about what’s right and what’s wrong for me, okay?” Leaning over, she turned off the table lamp and then sauntered back over to him. Boldly, she placed a hand on his cheek and stood on tip toes and kissed him gently on the other cheek. “Goodnight, Jake,” she whispered. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Chapter Six
For the next several days, Jake did his best to stay away from Olivia. When the babies were awake he didn’t have a choice but to be around her, but once they went back to sleep, he disappeared. Quickly.
While it was true that he did have a legitimate excuse – the upstairs of the house really did need to get done – the truth was that he wasn’t accomplishing much in that area either. Every task that he had, he dragged out. If he had ever done a job at this pace, his company would have never gotten off the ground. He tried to blame his sluggish progress on the fact that he had been out of the game for a while – having taken over sitting at a desk making the connections and getting the jobs and overseeing them rather than being out there working them – but he knew it wasn’t the truth. Then he tried telling himself that it was the lack of sleep that was causing it.
The truth was that he spent most of his alone time thinking about Olivia and the kiss. What if he hadn’t stopped? What if he had been the type of guy who simply took what he wanted and didn’t worry about being responsible? He’d never been that type of guy, unfortunately, and he couldn’t even fathom how something like that would work. It just wasn’t in his DNA.
Olivia was his best friend’s sister, and if Mike found out that he had agreed to a no-strings-attached fling, Jake was certain that he’d be a dead man. Not something that he was looking forward to no matter how tempting Olivia was.
He groaned just thinking of how tempting Olivia was. Hell, she was hazardous to his mental health. During the day wasn’t so bad because she walked around in jeans and t-shirts and generally was well-covered, but at night? She was clearly trying to torture him. The flannel boxers seemed shorter than short and hugged her bottom in a way that made his own hands twitch and the tiny tank tops she wore left little to the imagination.
And Jake had a very vivid imagination.
She hadn’t touched him – not physically – but her every word, every movement seemed like a caress to him. Watching her take care of his children and seeing how much of herself she gave to the task was far more attractive than anything any other woman had ever done. Ever.
“Jake?” He looked up and saw Olivia standing in the doorway to what was going to become the nursery. “I was hoping that maybe today we could do those pictures.” Her eyes were big and bright and full of excitement.
“Uh…today’s not good for me,” he lied. “I’ve got a lot going on up here that I want to get finished.” She leaned against the doorway and crossed her arms while staring him down. “What?”
“You’re full of crap,” she said bluntly.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me; you’re full of crap.” She uncrossed her arms and stepped into the room and looked around. “I don’t know what you’ve been doing up here, exactly, but I can tell that it isn’t much.”
“Then you don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said defensively. “There’s a lot to get done up here, and it all has to be done in a certain order. Last I checked, you were a photographer, not a contractor.”
“I may very well be, but I know when something’s being done and when it isn’t,” she pushed back. “This room looks exactly like it did two days ago, and so do all of the other rooms up here.”
“How would you know?” he snapped, feeling caged in because clearly the cat was out of the bag.
“Every night when you go in and take your shower, I come up here and see what’s going on and how everything is progressing, because I’m curious as to when the babies can move up to their own room.”
“Why, what’s the matter, princess, don’t like having to share a room?”
She actually laughed. “Jake, you can lash out at me all you want. You’re slacking, and you know it. You’re still uncomfortable with what happened the other night, and you’re hiding out up here to avoid dealing with me.” She stepped closer to him and gave her cockiest smile. “And I’m still not going anywhere.”
She was killing him.
“Why can’t you just take it for what it is, Liv? I’m up here trying to work things out on how to get this all finished. Nothing more, nothing less. Not everything has to do with you.”
She nodded. “Oh, I’m fine with that…if it were true. I want you to stand here, right here, right now, and look me in the eye and tell me that you’re not hiding up here to stay away from me.”
Why had he ever thought that having her here was going to be a good idea? Or helpful? Taking a fortifying breath, he stepped in close – until they were almost toe-to-toe – and stared down into her eyes. It was right there on the tip of his tongue, and yet he couldn’t force the words out. Jake knew he was many things, but a liar wasn’t one of them.
“I’m trying to do the right thing here, Olivia,” he growled as his body began to lean toward hers.
“If you recall, I didn’t ask you to. That one’s all on you, big guy.” She winked and smiled at him.
“I’ve got a dozen reasons why this is all wrong,” he said lowly, slowly losing the battle raging within him.
“And I’ve got a dozen more that says why it’s right,” she countered, swaying toward him.
“Your brother will kill me.”
“My brother isn’t here.”
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“We haven’t even talked in eight years.”
He inhaled her fresh, florally scent. “I’ve got two babies to think about.”
“That’s what I’m here to help you with.”
Jake knew that he could go on and on and on, but in the long run he was going to lose. Or win. Depending on how he decided to look at it. There were so many ways that his life was spinning out of control, and he had no doubt that sooner or later he was going to snap under the pressure. Maybe it was time for him to be a little selfish and take what was willingly being offered to him and simply enjoy it.
Meeting Olivia’s eyes, he saw a triumphant glint in them, but he wasn’t ready to concede just yet. “Pictures,” he finally said and cleared his throat. “You mentioned wanting to take pictures today.”
Taking a step back, Olivia nodded. “It’s actually a beautiful day out, and I thought it might be nice to take some out in the yard. You have some amazing landscaping out there and so many flowers in bloom that would make for great background scenery.”
He considered her words for a moment. “How long until they wake up?”
Olivia checked her watch. “I’d say about an hour. Why?”
“Then I’m going to grab a shower now. By the time I’m done, they should be ready to get up, and we can get them changed and fed and then go
outside for your photo shoot.”
Olivia wasn’t stupid; she knew that this was simply a distraction to keep him – yet again – from dealing with the situation at hand. “That works for me,” she said. “I’m going to go and scope out exactly the spots that I want to use so that we can maximize our time once they’re awake. I’ve already got the outfits in mind that I want them to wear.”
“What about me?” The question came out before he could stop it, and his voice was huskier than it had been a minute ago.
“I think that you should wear whatever makes you the most comfortable,” she said easily and began to turn to leave the room. “But I think you look the best in a pair of faded blue jeans and a dark t-shirt.” She smiled over her shoulder. “But that’s just me.”
With one last wink, she was gone. Jake heard her treading down the stairs and almost sagged to the floor when he was finally alone. He was totally playing with fire here.
And one of them was bound to get burned.
****
As much as he hated to admit it, he was having a good time. The weather was near perfect, and Maddie and Ben were totally cooperating with everything Olivia had them doing. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear that Maddie actually smiled on cue for a few of them. Jake knew it wasn’t possible – she was far too young – but it still gave him a bit of a thrill.
Olivia posed them on blankets with flowers blooming in the background and then she covered their infant seats with blankets so that they looked like big pillows and took several shots of them on the grass. Jake watched her while she worked and had to admit that he was impressed. Obviously she knew what she was doing – she did this on a daily basis with big Hollywood celebrities – but she seemed equally as comfortable in his backyard taking pictures of two infants who had no idea what was going on.
Baby, Be Mine (Life, Love And Babies Book 3) Page 7