Loving the Storm

by Linda Seed

  What mattered was that she was here now, with him, and whatever barriers had separated them were gone.

  Whether they would stay gone, he didn’t know. A person who’d been through what she had been through learned to protect themselves from a lot of things—including feelings.

  It occurred to him as he lay there that he might be wholly unequipped to handle the complexities of Aria. Trying to have a relationship with her might be like trying to build a space shuttle when he’d barely passed auto shop in high school.

  But he knew he had to try.

  Megan had hurt him, and Aria had the power to hurt him so much more. But if that happened, so be it. He could risk it.

  He was a hard man to break.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The next morning, Aria woke up in Liam’s arms. That was something new. She’d gone to bed with men here and there over the years, but she’d never awakened with one still in her bed when the sun came up. It was a novel and not entirely unpleasant experience.

  But that didn’t mean it wasn’t troubling.

  God, she felt comfortable lying here in the warmth of his arms, but comfort was deceptive. Comfort could make you soft and unprepared—and weak.

  Aria had never allowed herself to be weak, and she wasn’t going to start now.

  Okay, so she’d opened up to Liam last night. She’d told him things she had never intended to tell him. Now he knew, and there was no way to undo that. But that didn’t mean he could see her as a victim who needed to be rescued. She wasn’t that, and she wouldn’t allow herself to become that.

  Carefully, trying not to wake him, she eased herself out of his arms and got out of bed. She grabbed a robe from where it lay draped over a bedside chair and pulled it on. He started to stir, and she slipped into the bathroom and closed the door before he could wake up and see her.

  She leaned against the door, tipped her head back, and closed her eyes. She’d crossed a line last night, and she didn’t think she could step back over it even if she wanted to.

  But did she want to?

  Standing there with the cold bathroom tile under her feet, she felt as though she had jumped out of an airplane without a parachute and was having second thoughts on the way down.

  Aria heard Liam stirring, and she knew she couldn’t hide in here forever. She used the facilities, washed her hands, took a deep breath, and walked out of the bathroom to find him standing next to the bed, pulling his jeans on.

  “Hi,” she said, feeling awkward as hell. Hi seemed like such an inadequate conversational gambit that she chastised herself for her failure to come up with something better. But, really, it was hopeless. Liam had found her crying in a bar after she’d thrown herself at a stranger, resulting in an emotional meltdown of regret. And then she’d slept with him in a way that had bared her soul as well as her body.

  There was no clever, pithy, non-mortifying thing you could say the morning after that.

  “Come here.” He held his arms out to her, and she walked over and stepped into his embrace. It was exactly the right thing for him to do and say to break down her defenses even further. And it was exactly the wrong thing for him to do and say if she wanted to maintain the strength and self-sufficiency she’d worked so hard to build.

  She sighed and relaxed into him.

  Sometimes, when you’d already jumped from the plane, it was best just to enjoy the fall.

  Liam didn’t want to leave her, not now, not after the way she’d opened up to him the night before. But he was hours late for work on the ranch, and his mother wasn’t likely to let him hear the end of it, especially with Ryan out for a few days.

  “Listen, I’ve got to get going,” he told her, gently disentangling her from his embrace. “I hate to, but …”

  “No, of course,” she said, a blush rising to her face. She turned away from him so he wouldn’t see it. “I get it. You’ve got to work.”

  “I do. I’m usually out of the house at dawn, and my mother—”

  “Right.” The sun was streaming brightly through the windows. Aria hadn’t checked the clock, but clearly, dawn had come and gone hours before.

  “Can I see you later?” Liam picked up his T-shirt from the floor beside the bed and pulled it on. “I’d really like to.”

  He expected her to make an excuse—to tell him that she was busy, or that she was involved with someone in Portland to whom she’d be returning once the residency was over. She could tell him that last night had been fun, but that she wasn’t in this for the long term. She could simply tell him she wasn’t interested.

  But she didn’t do that. Maybe, like him, she’d begun to acknowledge that this thing between them was inevitable.

  “All right,” she said. “I’d like that.”

  He could feel his body relax. He’d been expecting the excuse, the brush-off. He’d been falling, too.

  Liam rode out into the pasture that morning wondering how the hell he was supposed to play this. Not that he considered any of it a game.

  Aria had made herself emotionally vulnerable to him for the first time, and he knew from the undefinable current running between them this morning that part of her regretted it. But he didn’t want her to take a step back, not now. He had selfish reasons for that, but he also sensed that her past had been holding her back in ways big and small all her life. If she could talk about it, face it head on, and be open about it with someone—anyone, even if it wasn’t him—that had to be a good thing. That had to be something that would lead to some kind of healing.

  Somehow, he had to make her feel that what she’d done—telling him what she had—was a good thing, and he wasn’t sure how to do that. She was oriented toward survival, and for good reason. Her fight-or-flight response was likely kicking in right about now.

  The day was crisp and blue and beautiful, and Liam took a deep breath of the chilly ocean air, feeling the powerful animal under him and the breeze surrounding him. The tall grass whispered its unknowable secrets.

  He found his father out in the northeast pasture, where he and a few of the ranch hands were getting ready to move the herd. The cattle regularly had to be rotated from one pasture to another in order to fertilize the soil and provide the animals with fresh grassland.

  Orin, who was mostly retired but who was stepping in for Ryan, peered at Liam from under the brim of his hat. “Well, it took you long enough to get here.”

  Orin’s tone was mild, but Liam knew his irritation was real. You didn’t show up late for work on the ranch if you could help it. Liam was going to get a ration of shit at home about it later.

  “Your mother says you didn’t come home last night,” Orin commented, his voice low enough that the hands couldn’t hear him.

  “Did I miss curfew?” Liam remarked dryly.

  Orin made a scoffing noise. “You can give me whatever kind of attitude you want, son, but I don’t think it’s going to work as well with your mother.”

  It might have said something about Liam’s life—and probably nothing good—that he still had to worry about his mother yelling at him. But he figured everybody had something. If it wasn’t his mother, it would have been his boss, and he didn’t have one of those, so that was something to be grateful for.

  Nobody was going to care that he spent the night with a woman—by God, he was an adult, and he could do whatever he wanted with whomever he wanted—but showing up late for work? That was something a Delaney just didn’t do.

  Now that he’d done it, there was no help for it but to work his ass off making up for the lapse. So that’s what he did for the rest of the day: When Orin took a break, Liam didn’t. When they got the call from Sandra that lunch was ready, Liam worked through.

  If he’d thought that was going to make a damned bit of difference, he was wrong.

  “It’s no wonder you’re about to starve,” Sandra remarked at dinner that night as she eyed Liam’s plate, which he’d loaded up higher than usual with meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy, r
olls, and green beans. “Couldn’t be bothered to come in for lunch. Hmph. I don’t spend all my time cooking for you people because it’s good for my health.”

  He glanced up, his fork already loaded. He wondered if maybe he could sidestep this conversation if he avoided eye contact.

  “I was busy.” He focused his gaze on his food and not his mother.

  “Well, I suppose you had a lot of catching up to do,” Sandra said. “Got out into the pastures a good three hours late, I’m told. By God, if you worked at the damned grocery store and showed up three hours late, I guess you’d be looking for a new job.”

  “I guess it’s a good thing I don’t work at the grocery store, then,” Liam remarked.

  “Aw, let him be, Sandra,” Orin said, looking uncomfortable at the idea of disagreeing with his wife. “Boy knows how to work, and I’d say he does enough of it.”

  Liam stopped eating and blinked at his father. Orin rarely spoke up when Sandra was reprimanding one of their progeny. The fact that he was doing it now—and on Liam’s behalf—was surprising enough to make Liam forget how hungry he was.

  He wasn’t sure how to feel about it. One on hand, it was nice to have his father’s support. On the other, hearing his father disagree with his mother was so unusual and so jarring that it made him feel unsettled and guilty for having brought it about.

  “It’s not gonna happen again,” Liam said, shoving meatloaf into his mouth so he wouldn’t have to say anything more.

  “Hmph,” Sandra said again.

  “The fact that Liam was late is less interesting than the reason he was late,” Breanna remarked, looking at Liam significantly. Lucas and Michael, sitting on either side of her, were too young to hear about that reason, but neither of them seemed to be listening. They were both focused on their food, particularly their rolls, which each of them had slathered with a shocking amount of butter.

  “Now, Breanna,” Orin began, nodding toward the boys.

  “So, did anybody see Gen and the baby today? How are they doing?” Liam asked, in an effort to change the subject.

  “Is everything all right with Aria?” Breanna asked, as though he hadn’t spoken. “I heard some … things … about what happened at Ted’s last night.”

  Liam wanted to snap at Breanna to keep whatever she’d heard to herself, but she looked so genuinely concerned that he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

  “Things are good,” he said instead, though he wasn’t entirely certain that was true.

  “Is Aria your girlfriend?” Michael asked, suddenly finding his roll less interesting.

  Liam opened his mouth to respond, then realized he had no idea what the answer was. “Eat your meatloaf,” he said.

  “Well? Is she your girlfriend?” Breanna said.

  “I guess what she is or isn’t is none of your business,” he said.

  Sandra, who’d been silently listening to the exchange, said, “I hope you’re bringing the girl here for Christmas dinner. She shouldn’t be alone out there in that guesthouse on a holiday. Why, if you haven’t already asked her, I’m going to wonder if I taught you any manners.”

  “I … uh … I did already ask her,” Liam admitted.

  “Well, fine, then.” Sandra nodded, looking satisfied with herself.

  “So, she is your girlfriend, then,” Michael commented. “You don’t invite a girl for Christmas unless she’s your girlfriend.”

  “What do you know about it?” Liam asked mildly. “You’re a kid.”

  “Well, I figure he’s a kid who knows when a man has a damned girlfriend and won’t admit it,” Sandra snapped at him.

  All in all, it was a puzzling and somewhat uncomfortable discussion. Liam figured he’d be better off if he just kept his mouth full of food. So he did that.

  When Breanna started talking about the escrow on her house, which was scheduled to close in a few more days, he was relieved to have the focus off of him.

  He should have thought of the house when she’d been grilling him about Aria. He could have changed the subject easily by asking something about floor tiles or paint color. Not that he gave a damn about floor tiles or paint color.

  But the new direction of the conversation didn’t make him feel any better, even if it wasn’t about him. The idea of Breanna and the boys moving across town filled him with a deep sadness that almost made him lose his appetite.

  The thought occurred to him that he might consider starting a family of his own, even buying a place of his own. Then maybe he wouldn’t feel so invested in whatever his sister decided to do.

  The thought surprised him with its sudden intrusion into his head.

  Start a family? Where had that come from?

  But he knew where it had come from. He knew very well. And if Aria knew he was starting to think this way, she’d pack her stuff and flee the Delaney Ranch so fast he’d see nothing but the dust in her wake.

  He couldn’t let that happen. He didn’t know how he could prevent it, but he was a resourceful guy—he’d figure something out.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Liam’s confidence about winning over Aria might have been shaky. But, as he stood outside the house that now belonged to Breanna, it occurred to him that it was rock steady compared with his feelings about whether it would ever be possible to fix up this dump.

  “Bree. Are you sure about this?” Liam squinted at the house, rocking back and forth on his feet, his hands stuffed into his jeans pockets.

  “Well, it would be too bad if I weren’t,” she said happily. “It’s done.”

  “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep it. You could … hell, I don’t know. Just put it back on the market, I guess. The land alone’s worth a lot.”

  She shot him a look that was part annoyance, part sisterly indulgence. “You said yourself that I was stupid to buy it. Why would anyone else want to?”

  Liam shrugged. She’d made a good point. “Hell, I don’t know. Someone stupider, I guess.”

  She slugged him in the arm in much the same way she had when she was eight and he’d torn the head off one of her Barbies.

  “Ow.” He rubbed at his arm. It didn’t hurt much, but there was the theater of the thing to consider.

  “God, there is so much to do,” she said.

  Liam smirked. “You think?”

  Breanna glanced at him uneasily, her brow furrowed. “Do you really think this was a mistake?”

  He did, but looking at the worry on her face, he realized that his job right now wasn’t to throw cold water on her enthusiasm. His job was to be a good brother and encourage her.

  “Aw, hell.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “No, I guess not. I can see there’s a lot you can do with it. This place was probably really nice once.”

  “I know, right?” Breanna’s bubbly joy was back, and that was a beautiful thing to see. Liam had been right to shut up about his misgivings. “Let’s go inside!” she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the house. “I can’t wait to get started.”

  The inside looked even worse than Liam remembered, but that didn’t stop Breanna from racing from room to room, fantasizing about what she would do with each one.

  “These floors are the original oak! They need to be refinished, but they’re going to be gorgeous. Do you think I should have this wall taken out to open up the kitchen? I want to have this wall redone to include lots and lots of windows for the ocean view. Look at the fireplace!”

  It seemed as though she was talking to Liam, but he knew she wasn’t—she was talking to herself. All he had to do was nod and occasionally utter an uh-huh or a yep.

  “You know you’re going to have to talk to Colin about this,” he said when she’d finally stopped moving and had come to a halt next to him.

  “Why?”

  “Because he knows all the good contractors, and you’re going to need one.”

  “Ryan knows a contractor. The guy who worked on his house did a terrific job.”

  “Ryan
knows a contractor because Colin found one for him,” Liam pointed out. “Besides, Colin’s coming home in a couple of days. What are you going to do, tell everybody not to mention the fact that you bought a damned house?”

  “Do you think that would work?”

  “Breanna …”

  “I’m kidding. Sort of.” She paced the big, empty room and turned to face Liam from fifteen feet away. “I don’t want a lecture, that’s all.”

  “Well, he’s going to give you one, so you might as well get used to the idea.”

  “I guess.” She looked glum for a moment, and then suddenly perked up. “Hey! Come look at the boys’ rooms!”

  Liam and Breanna were so prepared for Colin to disapprove of Breanna’s purchase that they were both astounded when he didn’t.

  He’d arrived in town with his wife, Julia, a few days later, and when Breanna had broken the news of her new house, he’d stayed stone-faced, betraying nothing of his initial reaction.

  Now, standing in front of the house with a spreadsheet, the purchase contract, and the inspector’s report in his hands, he finally pronounced his verdict.

  “I think you got a deal,” he said. Liam watched as Breanna squealed and jumped up and down. Julia grinned and rubbed Breanna’s arm affectionately.

  “Really? You really think so?” Breanna said.

  “I do. This location is one of the best lots in town. And the inspector’s report shows that the house is structurally sound. If you renovate, you can make a substantial profit.”

  Colin, forever in lawyer mode, flipped through the paperwork that Breanna had given him. While the rest of them were in jeans and sweatshirts or flannel shirts, Colin wore crisply pressed khakis and a sky blue button-down shirt. Living on the ranch in Montana might have relaxed him some, Liam reflected, but not enough to get the stick completely out of his ass.