Wicked Lucidity

by Wicked Lucidity [lit]

  I dropped my head down, not wanting to discuss this anymore. “How’s the bed coming? Do you think it will be sleep-worthy soon? I still need to try to lay down for another hour or so before I go out on patrol again.”

  Amber huffed. “You still call it patrolling when you are partying all night? I love it. And for the record. I’m right, you would have had a better life living on the streets than with them. No child should grow up like that. You were loved by your parents and you went from that straight to hell. He literally took a scared little girl who had just lost her parents and handed her over to the devil himself then never looked back. He should be shot in the head. Or better yet, put through what you went through. How can you even say his name, Karri?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. I get that he didn’t want to deal with me. Hell, I don’t even like dealing with me at times. I should have fought back. I might have been able to keep my dad alive long enough for RJ to help him. I didn’t mean to be so scared. I couldn’t help it and if I really could have changed it I’d have never let my father die. You know, I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Amber. It wasn’t that bad,” I said, lying through my teeth.

  “Right,” Amber glared at me, “so me waking up to hear you screaming in your room on an almost daily basis was no big deal, huh? I guess that means that it was nothing when I ran in to find you in the middle of the mother of all nightmares. Karri, you were cradled in a ball trying to protect your head from something crying, shaking, mumbling about RJ.”

  Riston touched my shoulder gently. “Was it a nightmare about your parents?”

  Amber snorted. “Not unless her parents made a habit of using a horse whip on Karri and fucking trying to brand her for being some demon thing. And not unless her father tried to ... I can’t even say it.”

  “What?” Riston asked, grabbing hold of my waist and pulling me back against him.

  My temper flared. “Someone here opened those letters Madge used to send and it wasn’t me.” I gave Amber a knowing stare completely forgetting that Riston was with us. “Did you enjoy getting detailed accounts? I know she liked writing them out. I’m so happy she found a receptive audience, Amber. Did you like the details? Huh? Did you like hearing what a man will do to a six-year-old he hates? Oh, I bet you loved hearing what he’d do to a teenager that woke up one day when she was sixteen to find herself with the body of a woman--no longer a child, and terrified.”

  Amber shifted, not backing down a bit. “I read the letters from Madge because I couldn’t fathom the idea of someone who had no other family and no friends when I met her not answering or even opening mail from her aunt.”

  I went to stand but Riston held me in place. “Madge was not my aunt. I didn’t know her and had never heard of her. How he even found her is beyond me.” I snickered. “Maybe RJ looked up psycho in the phone book? I’m sure they were there.”

  “No doubt.”

  “I was placed with them and I didn’t get a say. So, can we move on now? I’ll tell you all about lycans or prove that I can do magik. At this point in time I’d summon a demon and kill him in front of you if you want. Anything but this topic. Please. You pick.”

  “No,” Riston said, sternly. “What did this woman do to you?”

  Amber shook her head. “No, not just the woman. The lady was shacked up with some evangelist preacher named William. Together they were going to rid the world of evil. I only know this because the crazy bitch repeated it about a hundred times in the letters she’d send, Karri. I want to know how a man who is friends with your family, best friends with your dad even, can hand an innocent little girl over to monsters and never look back.”

  “Leave him alone, Amber.”

  She balked. “Karri, how can you defend him? The man handed you to a woman who beat you with a bible, who handed you over to a man that tired to ‘exorcise’ the demons in you in ways that are more than against the law, Karri--they were hideous and sick! He was a sick man who should have been locked up, not left with a little girl in his care. You’re a dreamer. A sweet wonderful person with an imagination that knows no end, Karri. Not a devil bent on seducing the world. And for that man to beat you, telling you that you needed to stop whoring around with RJ, the devil himself, was beyond uncalled for.”

  “A whore? What? You ... ?” Riston sounded a mortified as I felt.

  I shook my head. “No, of course I never ... RJ never ... gods no. RJ saved my life. He came out of nowhere, swept me up and kept me safe from the evil that would have killed me too. Not only that, he didn’t make me leave my dad’s side until he was gone. He let me say goodbye.”

  Amber snorted. “Only to drop you at evil’s doorstep.” Her nostrils flared as she clenched her fists. “I hate him for you, Karri. I hate them all for you. Do you even know why they treated you the way they did when it came to RJ?”

  I shook my head no. “I told them he was just dad’s friend. Then William ... umm ... he begged to differ. At that age, I didn’t argue with a knife stuck in my hand.” I looked away, sickened by it all. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  “Knife in your hand? Karri-Lynn?” Riston’s breathing was shallow as he held me to him. I could have sworn that he was shaking.

  “Yes, a knife in her hand, Riston, pinning it to the dining room table,” Amber said, her gaze heated. “You should have read those letters, Riston. That bitch had the nerve to say that no man would go out of his way to assure a child that wasn’t his was set for her life. She was pissed that they couldn’t dip into the funds RJ had assured Karri had, that only so much was allotted monthly for them to raise Karri. Let me just say that teachers make less in a year than what RJ made sure was there financially each month for her care. But it wasn’t enough for them. She was a greedy, psycho bitch. She had the nerve to say that Karri was born a demon whore and that RJ ... gawd ... I can’t even say it.”

  Taking a deep breath, I laughed hysterically. “Sorry, got a mental image of RJ pimping me out to the underworld and it was so ridiculous that it was funny. I sliced my foot open on glass once at the beach when I like five and he almost passed out. No joke. I remember telling him to sit down because I was very afraid that if he did pass out he’d crush me. I told him I’d fix it and to stop making that face he was making.”

  “Face?” Rison asked.

  “Yeah, it was sort of a cross between, I want to sweep you up and make this better and I’m going throw up because she’s hurt. See, he’d have left a hell of a trail of dead demons before letting one lay a hand on me. He told me that if a boy ever tried to kiss me that I should punch him in the nose and run get him so he could hit him again. I’m telling you, he could get on my last nerve but he was all right. Plus, he was the only person ever to understand green bean day. In a way, he helped invent it. He knew how much I hated them and how my mother seemed to think I’d pass out dead without eating them. He made it a game and had the cutest green bean costume made for me.”

  Amber snorted. “Ohmygod, Karri. I found myself celebrating green bean day a few years’ back and damn near died of embarrassment. I was trying to help Paula get Hilary to eat them. It worked. Somehow, it got her to try them.”

  Working my way out of Riston’s arms, I pushed to my feet quickly and walked to the window nearest me. As I stared out the darkening sky I wondered what RJ was doing, how his life was or even if he was alive at all.

  “I still want to slap that RJ upside his head. Leaving you with Madge and William was just wrong.” Amber appeared next to me.

  Staring down at her, I smoothed a stray piece of red hair from her pale face. “Please don’t blame him.”

  “He dumped you off, handled your parents’ affairs and got the hell out of there. He sounds like a real friend. A champ. Karri, you have a romantic view on life. Everything is some fairy tale. Some bigger than life event. I love that about you but you don’t deal with things. You lock them away and enter make-believe land. You even defend....”

  “Amber, I don�
�t want to talk about this anymore. I’m past all of that. You may not understand where I go,” I touched my head lightly, “but I do. And most of the time I find a way to bring it out and share it with you. I’ve seen and done things that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. I do not view life as a fairy tale. I view it as what it is--a struggle between black and white, good and evil. A struggle that I have all but lost. I love you but you can’t change who I am. William and Madge couldn’t. The people in my life now, my men as I call them, can’t and neither can you. Everything happens for a reason. I would appreciate not discussing this in front of strangers. It’s beyond personal.”

  Covering her mouth, Amber nodded. “Shit, Karri, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up with Riston here. I don’t know why I was comfortable talking about it in front of him. Part of me wanted to shout what you went through while he was sitting there. Like it was high time he heard it all. What the hell is that about?”

  “I don’t know.” Looking out I stared at the white house with green shutters and laughed.

  “Karri?”

  Glancing down at Amber, I touched her cheek and smiled. “Let’s call it a day. I can drive or walk you home. You pick.”

  She looked away and nodded slowly. I could feel her pain. “Karri, you’re right, since the moment you got here this morning I’ve taken nasty jabs at you. I’ve waited for the day you’d come and then I do this to you. Don’t leave. I know you. You find a way to distance yourself when it all becomes too much. Don’t do that.” She wrapped her petite frame around me and hugged me tight.

  I held her close and kissed the top of her head. “Come on, we’re burning daylight. I need to thank Riston for helping, get you home and get some sleep.” I turned, expecting to find Riston by the bed frame but found nothing. “Amber, I don’t remember seeing Riston leave?”

  “He’s quick like that and he’s a great guy. I’m guessing he decided we could use some privacy and that I’d stuck my foot in my mouth.” She pulled back and wiped her eyes. “You don’t have to walk me home. I’m going across the street to Eric’s for the night.”

  My eyes widened. “Oh.”

  She chuckled. “It’s not like that, Karri. After Paula passed away, Eric drew into himself, so did Hilary. Eric had always stopped for coffee and he’d always talked to me. Riston asked that I open the lines of communication more--be an ear for him to let things out on. I did. We’re good friends now.”

  “Who sleep at the other’s house,” I said, winking and nudging her.

  She blushed and gave me a shy smile. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me too.” I took a deep breath in and stretched. “I think I’m going to have to break down and get curtains in here. Blinds too maybe.”

  “Ohmygod, are you really Karri-Lynn?” She mused, doing a rather bad acting job of being shocked. “The Karri-Lynn I know and love had to be yelled at for almost a year about putting blinds in her bedroom windows. You used to tell me that you couldn’t sleep without being able to see the sun or stars--whichever was out while you were down.”

  “I’m still like that. When I lived with the people who we aren’t going to talk about, my room didn’t have windows and I despised it. I hated not knowing if it was day or night.” I pointed at the windows directly across from mine on the white house next door. “I’ve never had a neighbor who had windows that lined up with mine. And I have a tendency to....”

  “Walk around naked or almost naked when you’re alone. I know. Though, I have to wonder if that neighbor will mind. I think he might actually be okay with that. I think you should keep the blinds off the window. He’s a nice guy and has earned an exciting view.”

  I snorted as I ran my hand over the window frame. “Since when did you become an advocate for men?”

  “Since I got to know some of them better. That one there may be on the quiet side but he’s a great man, Karri. He cares so much about everyone in his life but he doesn’t admit to it. He’s there at the drop of a hat and never asks a thing for himself.” She touched my arm as I stared at the white house. “And until today, I hadn’t seen him smile in almost a year. No joke.”

  “Oh, assure me that the guy with the sports car and the ‘if it has legs, I’ll bang it’ attitude isn’t my neighbor. I’m telling you, Amber. That guy had you mentally undressed in less than a second. That takes skill and a whole lot of practice.”

  Amber chuckled and patted my arm. “No, Seaton is not your neighbor. I wouldn’t have let you buy the place if he was. Not that you’d have given me a say. You took one look at the email I sent and said this was the one. It’s weird, Karri. You even seemed to know the layout before you set foot in it.” She shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong. Seaton’s harmless. But you pegged him right. He likes the ladies and life in the fast lane. Still, Eric, Thatch and Riston hang out with him.”

  “Thank the gods it’s not Seaton then. Branson is enough of a life in the fast lane guy for me to deal with as it is.”

  “You know. I came back from New York saying ‘thanks the gods’ and all of these people just snickered and went on about their day. I feel like I’m sitting on the outside of a secret society. You people need handbooks for visitors.”

  I stared at her a moment, taking in just how wonderful she truly was. “Keep hanging around Eric and I think we might give you one and make you an honorary member. Come on. I’ll walk you over. Then I’m hitting the shower.”

  “You don’t have hot water yet.”

  I grinned. “I know. So, odds are, I’ll really hit the shower. Hope I don’t put a hole in the wall. I know that I swore I was going to renovate this place myself but I’m fast losing interest in it. I might just hire some people to do it for me. Mmm, we could make them take their shirts off while they work, sip my lemonade and get out score cards. I love men who can fix things. The idea of them getting sweaty and using their hands is a complete turn on. Yep. That settles it. You and I will start screening sexy handymen tomorrow.”

  “Hey, what do you think of Riston? He’s handy, you know?” she asked, suspicion all over her beautiful face. “He’s hot, like Jean-Paul kind of hot.”

  “Wait, are you trying to get me to like him or run like hell from him?” I winked at her.

  “What? Jean-Paul may be the French’s version of a mob lord but he is sexy as all can be. Plus, he’s the only guy I can think of that’s been consistent in your life.”

  “French’s version of a what?” I smacked my forehead. “Oh, right, it’s called a vampire. Or, asshole, depending upon the mood I’m in when you ask.”

  “Right, vampire.”

  I walked in a circle shaking my head as I went. “I go out of my way explaining that all he wants is a new flashy toy with all the latest bells and whistles on it. I am perfectly honest and tell you that he is a creature of the night. I say, don’t look him in the eyes, Amber. What do you do?”

  I walked more, growling slightly. “You ignore me and walk right up to him demanding to see his fangs. So much for not looking him in the eyes. I then say, do not let him in our house--no matter what. I come back after a class to find him naked on my bed with roses. He can’t just waltz in. It’s against the rules he’s forced to live by. When he told me that you let him in before heading out on your date I wanted to smack you in the back of the head.”

  “Sure, Karri, he’s an ass but you have to admit that his attempts at wooing you were pretty damn funny. Please make a note that I am in no way suggesting you have a relationship with that man. I merely needed a drop dead sexy benchmark to compare Riston to.” Amber moved quickly away from me winking as she went.

  Covering my face, I groaned. “Dead being the key word there.”

  “Okay, say I buy into the vampire thing. Mmm, immortal hot guy who is rich with a hot accent and huge ego, not bad at all. That’s do-able in my book, Karri. You should be able to marry him off easily. Want me to take out an ad for him?”

  “Money means nothing to immortals, Amber. It means n
othing to me.”

  She snorted. “Yeah, I know. When you started ‘patrolling,’ you were suddenly so busy that I had to ask you to pencil me in, you asked me to handle your checkbook and the expenses. I thought you were selling drugs for a bit there. Come on, the amount of money you had flooding in every month was obscene. That didn’t even include your trust or any of the estate assets that RJ kept secure for you.”

  She laughed and pointed at my six drawer dresser, sitting sideways towards the back of the room. “Okay, you have more money than a rock star and you buy things at auctions, second hand shops, you never buy anything new.”

  “Not true. I bought a bed frame and new mattresses last week.”

  Amber made a twirling motion with her finger. “Well la dee da. Let me guess, you needed to wipe the memories having to do with your old bed. You’re always touching things, judging if you can live with its aura or not. I love your strangeness but when we crawled through the bin of door knobs at that antique shop so you could touch everyone, I did want to have you committed.”

  “But it was fun. Admit it.” I winked at her. “You even put a lampshade on your head and told the owner that a piece of your ship had broken down and that your home planet told you that you could find the replacement part there.”

  Amber laughed so hard and she stopped breathing. I held her to me and smiled. “Oh Amber, remember the squeezie-gezzie door knob we found. You picked it up and made an odd face. When you handed it to me I knew instantly that its previous owner could have made masturbation an Olympic sport. That’s when we dove out head first, bought what we wanted and ran home to shower.”

  She tipped over and we both crashed to the floor. “Ohmygod, you bought that and told Jean-Paul that you were thinking of him. I wonder if he ever put that in his house.”