Wicked Lucidity

by Wicked Lucidity [lit]

  “Yeah. I didn’t have a choice, honey. I had a debt to pay. Going and playing with the biggest baddies on the block completely absolved that plus some. I lost myself in all, Amber. The lines blurred for me.”

  “What do you mean you were in debt? You had and no doubt still have money falling out of your ears.” Amber squeezed my hand.

  I couldn’t tell her the truth. She’d blame herself. I had to sign on the dotted line with the powers in return for Jean-Paul’s assistance with watching my body as I healed a death that was brought on from taking Amber’s sickness into me. “I needed a favor, a huge one. It had nothing to do with money. It had to do with something far more important to me. Jean-Paul could help but the people he’s with knew an opportunity when they saw one. I didn’t have much choice.”

  “Gawd, Karri, you should have told me. I could have....”

  I let out a soft laugh. “You couldn’t have done a thing, Amber. I wasn’t even qualified to be there at the time. I was young, powerful, female and someone the bad guys didn’t know.” I took a deep breath. “I could feel PJ’s magik when she checked in on me from time to time. She was so disappointed in the situation and hurt that I hadn’t come to her either. But she had a family to worry about and I’d never jeopardize that.” I sat up and stared at my dresser.

  “Amber, I’m a terrible person. I know that PJ had a baby girl but nothing else. I wouldn’t let her tell me. It was safer that way.”

  “Safer that way?”

  I nodded. “Do you remember when you had that headache that you were convinced had split your skull open?”

  “The one I got while I was on that blind date with the king of creep?”

  “Yeah, remember how I showed up and crashed your date?”

  She narrowed her gaze on me. “Yes. I was never more thankful to see you in my life. Why the hell did you make me go with Tripp while you stayed behind?”

  “Your blind date wasn’t what you thought he was, honey. Some vampires can do what’s called a physic attack. He was attracted to you because you’re special too--you just don’t acknowledge it. It’s a way for them to see inside, see your dreams, your nightmares. I think some may actually feed off it. I’m not sure. Anyway, the attacks hurt like hell at that low level. Imagine someone doing that to you while you’re getting the shit beat out of you.”

  “I’m not special and no way would I want that headache back. I threw up for days and my nose even bled all night,” she said, her eyes locked on me. “Oh, shit, that’s why you didn’t learn anything new about any of us for all those years. You didn’t want to accidentally spill it.”

  “Yeah.”

  Sitting up next to me, Amber shook her head. “Karri, you didn’t want them ... umm, us to get hurt.”

  I shrugged. “Yes. But I did something else to PJ. I betrayed her trust in me and I think I’d do it again if put in the same situation.” My breath grew ragged and sweat beaded on my brow. “Once PJ was calm and almost gone I went against her wishes and opened her link with her daughter, with her family. I kept every bit of her pain locked in me so her little one wouldn’t know how much pain her mommy would have been in. All I let her have was the feeling of her mommy’s magik, her essence around her. I wanted her to know that PJ was thinking about her. PJ had been adamant I not do that. But I just felt like they had a right to say goodbye, even when she didn’t want to hurt them more.”

  I got to my feet and rolled my shoulders, trying to let the pain out. “The woman helped me through a horrible time in my life, sent me you, trusted me enough to give me an important position in her child’s life and I repay her by going against her final wishes. I just couldn’t let them miss their chance to say goodbye, Amber. I couldn’t.”

  Chapter Six

  Amber gave me a soft smile. “I think her family appreciated that.”

  Untying my red shirt, I took it off and held it up. “Remind me to burn that. It stinks. Ugg. I stink. I need to take a shower and get my ass out on patrol.”

  “Karri, give it a break. You don’t need to keep it up. Sleep tonight. Pretend again tomorrow. I know you were in town before you came and got me this morning. You only got a few hours of sleep with Riston today. I didn’t mean to get you talking but I just wanted to catch up.”

  “Stop worrying. I’m fine. Though I’m thinking the neighbors might toss me out soon. I spent the day blaring polyester flashback music, I have the local eyesore and I’m next to someone who measures his grass. I’m sure of it.”

  Amber snorted. “Wait, you still don’t know who your neighbor is?”

  “Mr. and Mrs. Meticulous?” I undid my jean shorts and let them fall to the floor, leaving me standing in my bikini. Amber drew back fast and covered her mouth. Glancing down, I noticed the ragged puffy pink scar from the bullet wound on my left hip. Right under it was a nice claw mark for effect.”

  She looked in me eyes and gasped. “What in the hell happened to your hip?”

  “Gunshot,” I pointed at it, “and were-panther.” As I pointed at the claw marks, Amber moved towards me slowly. “Relax. It will all be gone soon. I, umm, sort of forgot to eat yesterday so it takes a little longer to heal. But I ate today. You were there. No yelling at me again.”

  “What?”

  Shaking my head, I lifted my hair. “Untie me.”

  “Owen told me that you really did get shot last week. I thought he was as crazy as you. How are you walking?”

  “Well, I put one foot in front of the other and hope for the best. How about you?”

  Amber moved up behind me and went to untie my suit. She gasped and ran her finger over my tattoo. “Ohmygod. Karri, you know how I’ve always liked this tattoo? How I thought PJ did a kick ass job with it? And how it seemed so familiar?”

  “Could you hop to that point you’re trying to make? I plan on making you gather up my gear again for me.”

  “Umm, Riston has this same one on his upper back too.”

  I laughed. “Right. Okay. I’m going to shower in the ice cold water that the no-show plumber left me with. You should have added that Riston has a brand mark near his too. I could get even more sick to my stomach.”

  “Hey, setting the obvious weirdness of this aside, what’s wrong with Riston?”

  I held my bikini top up with my arm. “Changing topic now. Could you gather my stuff up? It’s all in that sideways dresser.”

  “I’ll get it all but let the record state that I’m not lying. You’ve got almost the same tattoo as him. And all this crap is beginning to make a believer out of a die hard skeptic.” She walked over to the dresser, giving me a dirty look the entire time.

  As I turned to go into the master bedroom’s bathroom Amber screamed out. Instantly, I threw magik up and over her. She jumped back fast and stared at the nothing around her. With wide eyes she poked out into the air and her finger hit an invisible barrier. “Karri, what’s going on? What is it? Did you really do magik?”

  “Promise you won’t freak out?”

  She nodded.

  “Yes,” I said, sheepishly.

  Amber screamed out again this time jumping up and down. At first I thought she was scared of me. When I saw her smiling, I knew better. “Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy....”

  Waving my hand the barrier dropped. “Yeah, shit ... I get it. Did you officially snap? It’s not like I haven’t been preparing you for this for like ever.”

  “Yes, I mean no. I haven’t snapped.” She stood there smiling wide at me. “First off, can you do that magik thing again? It was cool?”

  “Will you take a rain check? It’s not very wise for me to use that much while running on empty. And trust me, honey, what I tossed around you was a hell of a protection spell.”

  The hurt look on her face broke my heart. Lifting my hand, I drew on my power and made a white orb appear. “Here,” I tossed it to her, “play with that. It’s Amber friendly so you can’t hurt yourself.”

  She beamed. “You are the coolest.”

  “Y
eah, it’s just great to be me.” I went to head into the bathroom and Amber screamed again.

  “Oh, I almost forgot the most important part.”

  “Part of what?” I asked, positive I didn’t want to hear her answer.

  She played with the ball of light as she spoke, “Well, when I asked you why you were positive you’d never have kids you told me that story about a mate. And you explained that you were made different from other women of your kind. That you’d been created for only one man and that he was the only male who could ever create a child with you. That the idea of birth control was absurd because you couldn’t catch human diseases and could never have a child without your mate. Remember?”

  Yawning, I nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Did you ever find him? Did you ever find your mate?”

  “Nope, but I stopped looking after we graduated from college. I got a job and didn’t look back. I don’t want children. They’d hate me and I’d no doubt break them or something.” I made a move and Amber shook her head as she held up a handful of photos.

  “Karri, who is the woman in the pictures with you?” she asked, smiling wide.

  “Damn, I almost forgot about those. I finally found them. I swear they grew legs and walked away when we lived together. Every time I wanted to show you them they weren’t where I left them.” I yawned again. “That’s PJ.”

  Amber made a choked scream sound and nodded. “Okay, how many years ago did she come to you tell you she was expecting a baby?”

  “Amber,” I covered my eyes and thought about it. “I don’t know, you’d just moved back home so shortly after graduation.”

  “That’s seven years ago.”

  I gave her a droll look before heading towards the bathroom again. “You don’t say. Thanks for clearing that up.”

  “Hey, Karri,” Amber called out. “Did PJ ever tell you if her daughter liked the dollhouse you send her for her fourth birthday? What was that again? A big grey shopping mall thing right?”

  “I didn’t send a big shopping mall dollhouse. How fun would that be? No. She was PJ’s little girl, so she’s a princess in my mind. I gave her a dollhouse that looked like a castle. I had it made for her.”

  “Yeah, she loved the dress up set you sent with it. She walked around in that frilly pink skirt all the time.”

  That made me smile. “Did she like the wings? I couldn’t find a pair that small so I had Owen make them for her.”

  “Oh, yes. So much so that her uncle had to pull her off the front porch banister because she was sure she could fly.”

  I cringed. “I didn’t think of that when I sent them. I hope he wasn’t too mad.”

  “Yeah, well she also made her uncle be the prince. He didn’t look too happy about that either.”

  Laughing, I started the water to the shower. “You know, every little girl needs a prince. It should be a law or something.”

  “I agree.”

  “Shit, I forgot to grab a towel.” I turned to head back out and stopped instantly. “Amber?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Sorry to put you through the whole PJ story since I clearly already had.”

  “You really must need some sleep. You’re not thinking very clearly.” She laughed, sounding so enthused about something that I almost went back out to check on her. “So, you never did answer me when I asked what was wrong with Riston?”

  I climbed in the shower, screaming, I jumped back out of the line of water. “Ohmygods, that’s fucking cold. That’s it. I’m going over to the Meticulous’ next door and using theirs. I need a towel and heater.”

  “Are you going to answer me about Riston? You know, any guy out there could be that one guy, Karri. Riston could be him. You said he reminded you of RJ.” She growled. “I want permission to hit him in the head with a frying pan if he is.”

  I snorted and poked my head around the corner. “Pfft, honey, no. He’s not him.”

  “But how do you know. You can just remember RJ’s eyes. He could be Riston.”

  Shaking my head, I smiled wide as a thought came to me. “It took you five minutes to go from not believing me to being an expert on the supernatural. Care to tell me why you seem stuck on Riston, a man I just met, on accident, while flipping around my yard covered in mud and wearing a wedding dress is RJ?”

  “Karri, do you get the feeling that someone’s in here, watching us?”

  “Yes.” I looked around and raised my brows. The place had an old, spooky, yet oddly familiar quality to it. Once that made me love it instantly. The feeling of being watched was still there but the presence didn’t feel evil. No. It radiated concern, love and protection. Those were all things I was lacking so I was just fine with that.

  I grinned. “How cool would it be if the house was haunted? I want a ghost I can name Gilchrist. It’s not like the opportunity to use that odd of a name will pop up again in my life.”

  She gasped. “You would think that was cool. I changed my mind. Walk me to Eric’s.”

  Laughing, I nodded and turned the cold water off. “Fine. Can you put those back so nothing happens to them?” I asked, walking out of the bathroom still wearing my suit and motioning towards the pictures.

  “Oh, I will treat these like rare gems.” Amber winked. “But tell me one thing.”

  “What?”

  “Why is your hair short and black in one of these pictures?”

  I laughed as I thought about the one she was talking about. “Because PJ slapped her magik on me and I found myself standing there in skimpy black leather lingerie, with short black hair blue eyes and a man in the next room.”

  “A man?” she asked, eyes wide and smile bright. “Wait, you mean the guy chained to the bed?”

  “Yep.”

  “Karri, what if Riston really is RJ? What if he was the one chained to the bed?”

  I sighed, not wanting to acknowledge the very thing that had been eating at me. “Then something that my heart tells me would be beautiful will never be.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t want anything to do with RJ or with all that he represents--a family, a future. It’s too late for me now. I just want to live the remainder of my life as drama free as possible, Amber.”

  “Okay, I’m ignoring that.” She waved her hand in the air dismissing it. “Tell me this, if Riston is your mate and you have sex with him, can you get pregnant?”

  Groaning, I rubbed my hands over my eyes before letting a laugh slip out. “Why do I have visions of you rummaging through my things and his to make sure that no condoms can be found?”

  She laughed. “I’m just asking, Karri. Suppose he was your mate and the two of you have sex. Could he get you pregnant?”

  “Gee, since I’ve never had sex with my mate I’d have to say I don’t know. Probably. It would depend on how damaged my reproductive system is.”

  “Damaged?”

  I sighed. “I put my body through a lot, Amber. The word immortal is just another way of saying that I’m harder to kill than most. It doesn’t mean I can’t die.”

  She grabbed my hand. “Karri, is there something you’re not telling me? Something about your health?”

  Oh, shit. Think of anything but the truth.

  “Umm, no. What gave you that idea?” The idea of telling her how worn and torn my body now was wasn’t an option.

  “You call me a month ago, after having not talked to me in seven years to inform that you’re moving here to be close to me. You’re not normally one who makes a lot of long term plans but you haven’t once talked about what will happen now that you’re here. You haven’t said, oh, hey, Amber this Christmas let’s go do this or that. In fact, you’ve made a lot of comments about being on borrowed time.”

  Shit. She was right. I had. It wasn’t like I realized I was doing it. “Hmm, well, I don’t know why. Guess I’ve changed in seven years.”

  Amber put her hand on her hip. “If there was something wrong with you, you’d tell me right? I mean, you s
at by my side when everyone, the doctors included, said I wasn’t going to make it. You gave me hope and refused to take no for an answer. You’d let me do the same, right?”

  The doctors had been right. By human standards, Amber had no hope. That’s why I’d stepped in and healed her, even with the knowledge that I’d take on her injury, her death--her illness. I took on the negative effects of not using her powers. They were mine to carry.

  “Amber, I’m fine.”

  “Then tell me that if Riston is your mate and you ended up pregnant, what would you do?”

  “Come and find you so I could knock you over the noggin for jinxing me.” I smiled. “I don’t know. I honestly have never thought about it, Amber.”

  Chapter Seven

  I adjusted my headset and kept pretending that I’d gotten a cramp running and needed to stretch. I bent low, extended my leg and glanced at my upper thigh. I loved knowing that I was armed to the teeth but looked like a young woman out jogging in the middle of the night. Owen had helped me perfect the outfits. The white tank top was reinforced to stop most bullets and not shred at the first touch of a claw. My navy running pants unbuttoned down each side in a flash, allowing me to get to my thigh holsters. They held my P226’s and extra clips of silver bullets. The navy boy-cut shorts I wore beneath the pants gave me something to keep my ass covered should I need to rip the pants off.

  The matching navy jacket hid my arm sheaths. Both contained six-inch hunting knives. I wore my hair in a high ponytail. The supernaturals seemed to take that as an even bigger sign of innocence. The entire ensemble was so great at night that I had it in almost every color combination imaginable.

  I hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that I was being watched since I woke up. As I was getting dressed, after a rather ice cold shower, I could have sworn that I’d felt warm air near my ear as if someone was breathing on me. My entire body had lit with desire. If it was ghost and could make my body jump like that, it was welcome to stay. Though, I’d have to seriously consider changing the name I’d selected for it. Somehow, Gilchrist didn’t seem as sexy as the ghost had.