by Bianca Vix
She gives her head a firm shake. “I want to be with you, Josh. Ryan’s got nothing to do with how I feel about you. What the three of us had was incredible, I can’t deny it. But it’s like you said. We were fine before Ryan. I want you and I to still be us.”
I circle my arms around her and I have no idea how long we stand locked together. I could do it forever. It’ll take some time for both of us to get over Ryan, I’m sure. Going through it together will make it so much easier.
I bury my face into Maiya’s hair, inhaling her scent deeply. This is what I want.
Chapter 18
Ryan
Fuck, this place is loud. I don’t mind, but I didn’t expect it. I haven’t been to a club in a long time. The music’s helping to drown out my miserable thoughts so I’m happy.
Why I chose this place, I have no idea. I didn’t want to have to wait to get in, so that narrowed the options down quite a bit. I flipped right past the list of hot new openings this weekend. And started to pay attention again when I got to the gay club listings.
I used to come to places like this before Josh and I met. The more low-key gay bars, not the hardcore night clubs. I always liked the vibe in them.
This one’s got a good amount of women in it too. I didn’t come here to meet anybody. I just want to hang out.
It’s not too crowded yet either. I timed my arrival so perfectly, I’ve managed to grab a seat at the bar. By the time it gets crushingly full, I’ll be gone.
Once I get my drink, I check the place out. It’s a hot night in here tonight. It would be a great time to pick somebody up. So far everyone I’ve seen is insanely good-looking.
I’m not even tempted. There’s no way I’m dragging a random back to my place. Male or female. I can’t even imagine dating anyone ever again.
Fuck that. I’m not going down that road, I’m here to drink. I knock back half of my triple bourbon just as someone drops into the empty seat right beside mine.
He decides to talk to me instead of the guy on his other side. His gaze slides over my body. “How’s it going?”
I want to laugh. Guess I meet with his approval. I’m so not into this, but a little conversation won’t hurt. “Not too bad. How about yourself?”
“I’m doing a lot better now that I’ve found you.” He sets his hand down high up on my thigh, dangerously close to my groin.
There’s nothing about this guy that makes me want him. I grab his hand and lift it off me. “Not interested.”
His eyes narrow, and for a moment I wonder if he’s going to be an asshole about my rejection. Without a word, he turns his back to me and starts up with the guy on his other side.
“Stay classy, man.” I don’t even think he hears me over the sound of his own voice.
Yeah. I just can’t wait to get back out there into the dating world.
The bartender deposits my second drink down in front of me. I’m not going to hang around here anymore so I head over towards the dance floor to drink it, finding a good spot at the railing where I can lean and watch what’s going on down there. It’s mesmerizing. I don’t look away until someone else comes to stand beside me.
I’m about to blow him off when I register that it’s a woman, out of breath from dancing in the heat. A really good-looking woman.
She pushes a few strands of hair out of her eyes. “Having fun?”
“Sure.”
“Yeah, you really look like it. What’s wrong, are you having trouble attracting that one guy you want? Because I’m certain that ninety-nine percent of the men in here would go for you in an instant.”
“Something like that.” More like I’m having trouble keeping the ones I really want, who I’m sure no longer want me. But she doesn’t need to know that.
“I’m Carysa.”
“Ryan. Are you with that bachelorette party over there?” I tilt my head towards the dance floor. Once I spotted the small group in the crowd, I haven’t been able to take my eyes off them. They’re all so happy and carefree. They remind me of Maiya.
“No, I came with my husband.”
My head whips back to Carysa. “Your husband? He brought you to a gay bar? Now that’s a date I haven’t heard of.”
She grins at me. “He’s bisexual. And I’m open to him having sex with men on occasion.”
I gape at her. Surely I heard wrong. “Huh? Are you serious?”
“I am. Sometimes I watch. Two men together is really hot.”
For a total stranger, she’s sure opening up fast. Normally I’d shut someone like that down, but I’m intrigued by what she’s told me.
“Yeah, I’m with you on the two-guy thing. But the rest of it sounds pretty hard to believe. You’re really okay with your own husband picking up men for sex?”
“More than okay. It’s part of our deal. Once we got serious, he opened up to me about being bi.”
“And you just accepted it?”
“Sure I did. It’s part of who he is. He said that he could be committed to me, that it didn’t matter in that way. But like I said, I find man sex a turn-on. So every so often, he and I hit the clubs together and see what he can find. We both enjoy it, so why not?”
“I’m not judging you. It’s just a different kind of relationship than I’ve ever heard of before. Good for you, making it work like that.”
I swallow some more of my bourbon. “What do the people who know you think about it? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I don’t mind at all. We keep it to ourselves. Only my best friend knows. My husband works in a fairly relaxed environment so there’s not much chance it would do any harm if it ever came out there. I’m in the corporate world. It wouldn’t do me any good at all if someone discovered our secret.”
“But you do it anyway, even with that kind of risk? Why come out to a club then? There’s tons of online options that would let you stay totally anonymous.”
Carysa finishes off her own drink. “We tried that, but we weren’t finding the kind of men that were into me being involved. Meeting someone in person with me there too lets us skip over the guys who aren’t into what we want. Saves time, and we have a much greater success rate.”
I polish off the rest of my drink. “I like the way you think, but then there’s more risk of discovery by someone you know.”
“Oh, sure. But if it gets out, it gets out. I’m careful enough that I’m not too concerned.”
“Would you like another drink?”
“You read my mind.”
She goes for her purse but I stop her. “It’s on me.”
“Jack and ginger, please. And thank you, Ryan.”
It takes some time to work my way through the growing crowd. The bar’s a mess. I can’t stop thinking about everything Carysa told me. Of course, her situation’s totally different. She’s got a unique relationship going on. It’s not likely to explode in her face.
It takes a hell of a long time to get my order in. I’m happy to find Carysa right where she was. She lifts her glass to mine when I hand her a glass. “Cheers.”
“For what?”
“Meeting new people.”
My mouth twists up, but I drink anyway. Meeting new people isn’t something I’m looking forward too. My sullen expression isn’t lost on Carysa.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I say it automatically. But there’s something about Carysa that makes me want to believe that she’d understand. “You don’t want to know.”
“If you want to tell me, I’m a good listener.”
It’s all the encouragement I need. I spill it all. Everything about Maiya and Josh. I don’t go into any details about FV or Sherwood, but she gets the drift. Carysa’s in the same world as I am. She’d know better than anyone else how it all works. And why I had to do what I did.
“That’s rough. I can’t imagine having to do what you did.”
I shrug. “I didn’t have much choice in the matter. The investor has something on me. Something I had no
idea he knew about. If it came out, I’d have lost them just the same. It’s better this way.”
“Is it? Because it strikes me that you’re not exactly happy about how it all turned out. And that you made the wrong choice.”
My brow furrows as I stare out at the crowded dance floor. “I didn’t have a choice. What my potential investor is threatening to reveal isn’t something that I can come back from. It would ruin my entire life. This way, the damage is limited to my relationship. And as much as I hate that, I’d lose it as well as everything else if he broadcasts what I’ve been keeping secret for so long.”
“There’s always a choice. Always a way in or out of something. You and I have a few things in common, and you know as well as I do. There’s a solution out there. All it takes is someone to find it. Doesn’t matter whether you’re the one to find it, or not. It’s out there.”
“Right. Yeah.” I roll my eyes. “I’ve gone over the situation from all angles. This is all there is to be done. And it’s already done.”
“You’re stubborn, too. Just like my husband gets. I can work with that.” Carysa puts her hand on my arm. I turn to her and she leans in closer to make sure I can hear what she’s saying.
After speaking in low tones, she pulls back and takes a drink. “That’s my advice to you. Take it or leave it. Up to you. I’m really glad we met, Ryan. Here’s my card. Stay in touch.”
“Will do.” I watch her head down to the dance floor to meet up with her husband. I don’t stick around until she finds him. It’s time to go home.
Once I get back to my place, I check my phone. I didn’t take it with me, because for once I didn’t want to be available for everyone. There’s a list of messages, most notably one from Sherwood. I ignore them all.
Carysa’s words are still echoing in my mind. At the time, I didn’t know how they could possibly apply to the situation I’m in. Now I see it, and I’ve made up my mind.
Starting tomorrow, a few things are going to change.
Chapter 19
Ryan
“What’s this about, Ryan?”
Sherwood’s acting I’m imposing on him. I suppose he would see it that way, since we’re meeting in my office now.
He drops heavily into the seat across from my desk. “Let’s get on with it. You already told me you came to your senses and ended that situation we discussed before. And I’ve made you a firm offer as far as my financial investment goes. So why is it so important to meet now?”
I sit back in my chair, folding my hands together. He’s used to directing the outcome of everything he’s involved with. I never noticed how much he gets into micromanaging everything. And everyone.
Not this time.
“Yes, and I appreciate it very much. It’s going to make all the difference going forward.”
I pause. He’s waiting for me to continue, but he’s too impatient to wait for very long. Five seconds seems to be his hard limit.
“And?” Sherwood prompts. “Is that it? Because I don’t have time to mess around.”
“Of course not. Neither do I. It was important to meet in person. Because the terms of our agreement need to be adjusted.”
“No, they don’t. The contract’s been through all the lawyers. We’ve both agreed to the terms. There’s nothing to change.”
“I’m not talking about the written agreement. I’m talking about your other requirements. The ones involving my personal life.”
He huffs in his seat. “Those aren’t negotiable. Like I said before. If you can’t keep your life under control, I can’t believe you can manage a business. The fact that I could easily find out about that sort of thing means that others can too. And I will not invest in a venture that can be dragged down by bad behavior. Whatever it is you got yourself into was tabloid-level trash. Not something a professional would engage in.”
That gets my back up, but from the moment I decided to call this meeting, I vowed I’d remain calm no matter what. I bare my teeth at him, but that’s all. “Sherwood. Our relationship is strictly a business one. Nothing outside of that concerns you. I won’t be planning any of my future relationships around what you may or may not consider acceptable.”
“Oh, Ryan. You know that’s not true. What we have goes well beyond any sort of business agreement we enter into.” Now Sherwood’s the one to lean back in his chair, as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. “How’s your father doing, by the way? Have you been to see him lately?”
“No. But you already know that.”
“That’s true, I do. He’s been asking about you. Maybe you should take that trip. What kind of a son doesn’t go visit his own father?”
My fists clench into tight balls. “We’re not talking about him, Sherwood. We’re discussing the terms of our agreement. And now that we’re on the same page, it’s all settled.”
“We’re miles from being on the same page. Like I told you before. You keep your life respectable, or you will lose my investment money. And a whole lot more. Once I destroy your secret, you’re done. Permanently. The only business you’ll ever be able to open is a lemonade stand in a driveway in the suburbs. And even that will be questionable. Once it gets out who you really are, it’s highly unlikely you’ll even be able to work again. Who’s going to hire someone like you?”
Something that’s been weighing on my mind falls into place. “It’s him, isn’t it. He’s behind your little attempt at controlling my life, isn’t he.”
“Your father cares about you. He only wants what’s best for you.”
Sherwood’s tone is so arrogant, I want to laugh in his face. “Yeah. That’s why he’s got you doing his dirty work for him. Oh, right. He can’t do it himself, can he. Because I’ve been wondering why you would do this. Why would you care about who I really am?”
My eyebrows shoot up. “You owe him, don’t you. You owe him something big. And if you don’t do what he wants, you’ll end up just like him.”
“He and I have an understanding. We’ve both helped each other out as needed over the years. Decades, I should say. Funny how time passes by so quickly.”
Sherwood looks me over. “You’ll do what I want, Ryan. Or the money’s gone. All of your plans, out the window.”
I meet his gaze squarely. “I don’t want your money, Sherwood. Take it and yourself and get out of my office.”
He blinks. I’ve caught him completely off guard. “Wrong decision, Ryan. There’s no turning back once I walk through that door.”
“Don’t let it hit you in the ass on your way out.”
Sherwood’s face is reddening. “You’ll soon find that you won’t have anyone else interested in investing in you, Ryan. My name carries a lot of weight. Once I let my colleagues know about you, you’re done. For good.”
“Goodbye, Sherwood.” I stand up and stretch, then go over to the door and open it up for him. There’s someone standing there, about to knock. We startle each other. It’s Josh.
He glances between Sherwood and I. “I didn’t know you were in a meeting, Ryan. I can find you later.”
“Don’t worry, he’s leaving.”
Sherwood stops in front of Josh. His entire expression changes when he recognizes him. They met once, awhile ago. But Sherwood remembers everyone.
“Ah. Josh.”
“Hello, Sherwood.” Josh’s voice couldn’t be less friendly.
“Right.” Sherwood turns back towards me for a moment, the corners of his mouth turning up into something resembling a leering smile. “Josh. You’re a friend of Ryan’s. Or maybe you know him by another name. Ryan Worthinton.”
“What?” Josh looks to me for clarification. “What’s he talking about?”
My stomach twists. Sherwood pulls a fake confused expression. “Oh, no. Didn’t you know what Ryan’s real name is? Maybe you’ll know him better by who his father is. I know you’re not a fan of his. Ryan’s father is William Worthinton.”
Josh doesn’t believe him. He’s about to say so when he
glances at me. I can’t come up with any way to deny it.
Because it’s true.
Chapter 20
Ryan
I’ve invited Maiya and Josh over to my place. I’m not certain that either one of them will show. If nothing else, I need to explain everything. Even if we can’t be together, I don’t want them to hate me. If that’s possible.
As much as I want to see them both, I’m still dreading it at the same time. I don’t get nervous pitching to the most high-powered billionaire. The prospect of talking to my exes has me pacing back and forth across the living room, unable to sit still.
And yet Lucy’s able to make me smile when she joins me in my uneasy walk. I stoop to pat her head and she gives me an affectionate look that actually makes me feel a little better.
Until the sharp sound of a buzzer pierces into the room, startling the hell out of me. One of them’s here. That’s a good thing.
I’m wrong. I swing the door open to find both Maiya and Josh standing there. I’m about to hug them both automatically, but I catch myself in time. We don’t do that anymore.
And neither one looks to be in a forgiving mood. Josh barely nods at me as he comes in.
“It’s good to see you, Ryan.” Maiya doesn’t exactly sound like she means it.
But they’re here, both of them. That’s all I can ask for now. I follow them into the living room and we all sit down awkwardly.
“Thanks for coming. I wanted to clear a couple things up.” There’s no sense delaying, so I dive right in. “What Sherwood said is true. I was born Ryan Worthinton. William Worthinton, the Con Artist of the Century, is my father. Guilty of defrauding almost a thousand times more people than any con artist ever in history.”
“Yeah, we know. Now.” Josh’s voice could freeze out a burning building. “You lied to me, Ryan. For years.”
“Yes, I did. And for that I’m truly sorry.”
I glance over at Maiya. She’s listening, her expression neutral.