Half the World Away

by Rebecca Banks

  She was excited about The Half-Time Show today. Children from the local hospital were coming to take part in the penalty shoot-out against the mascot, Eric the Elk, and of course, there’d be the big performance by Memphis Black. Rose was arriving shortly to support her, and because she didn’t want to miss seeing the band they’d watched all those months back at the bar play an arena.

  It was only an hour now until kick-off and her usual nerves had started coursing through her. She likened it to having a birthday party when you were a child. Would anyone turn up? Would everyone have a good time? Even though this was the sixteenth running of The Half-Time Show, she couldn’t help but feel a little anxious, especially with the band being by far the biggest and most well-known of any that had performed this season.

  In fact, the game was a sell-out, and Hank put a lot of that down to the buzz around Memphis Black’s appearance. His four children were all big fans, and couldn’t wait to see them play today. He’d requested a private meet and greet for them which, of course, Abbie had hastily added to the plan.

  With forty-five minutes to go, she started to panic. The band had been due to arrive fifteen minutes ago, but there was no sign of them. She called Kitty.

  ‘Have you heard from the band or their agent? I’m worried they’re not here yet, and we need to get all their equipment ready in the tunnel.’

  ‘I haven’t heard from any of them, Abbie. You hadn’t asked me to speak to them.’

  ‘I didn’t specifically ask you but you’ve double-checked with all the bands at the last ten matches for me, so I didn’t think this would be any different. You spoke to them originally about their requirements, right?’

  ‘Yes, but then because you knew them, I figured you would do it. Sorry, Abbie, I feel like I’ve done something wrong here. Have I?’

  ‘No, of course you haven’t. I’m just getting concerned. Don’t worry, I’ll call them myself.’

  Hanging up, she located the agent’s cell phone number and punched it into her phone. He answered quickly, although the line was noisy as he was clearly at some sort of gig.

  ‘Hi, yes, it’s Abbie Potter here. From Utah Saints. I booked Memphis Black for a performance at our last home match of the season here at the Salt Lake City Arena.’

  ‘Oh, hi, Abbie, how can I help? Do you have a rescheduled date for them?’

  ‘Sorry? I think the line is bad. I’m trying to find out where they are. They’re late.’

  ‘Abbie, I’m really confused. You cancelled, about a month ago? Emailed to say how sorry you were but the boss had a change of plan, and you understood that meant you’d lose your deposit. I replied to you confirming. I can send it to you again?’

  ‘No. Wait. Cancel? I didn’t cancel. I didn’t do this. This must be a mistake. You’ve made a mistake. I don’t know what’s happening but I guarantee I didn’t cancel.’ Her voice had gone up an octave and her hands were shaking, beads of sweat appearing on her forehead and the palms of her hands as the panic rose. ‘I need them here.’

  ‘Look, I’m sorry if there’s been an issue at your end, but I definitely have that email. I’ll send it on to you now. I’m sorry, Abbie, but the band booked a new gig for today after you cancelled, and they’re in California now.’

  ‘I didn’t cancel.’ She realised she was shouting, but she didn’t know what to do. None of this made sense.

  ‘Sorry, there’s nothing I can do at this late stage. I have to go, one of my bands is about to go on stage at a festival. Talk soon.’

  ‘But what am I supposed to do?’ Abbie shrieked, but she was talking to herself as he’d ended the call.

  Rose walked in at that exact moment, and her eyes widened as she saw Abbie in such a state.

  ‘What the hell has happened? Has he done something to you?’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘KYLE.’

  ‘Oh god no, he’s the least of my problems. I have a half-time show in exactly seventy-five minutes and no fucking band.’

  ‘What the fuck?’

  Abbie explained the current predicament as well as she could, considering she had no idea what had happened.

  ‘Oh, fuck.’

  ‘Yes. What am I going to do, Rose? I think I’m going to get fired.’

  ‘Nope. That’s not going to happen. I’ve got an idea.’

  Within minutes Rose had called Stella, who was now on the case to get a local band. She knew them all, and was confident of success.

  Thirty minutes later, a four-piece called The Flightless were en route to the arena.

  Abbie left Rose with Kitty in the car park to welcome them and get them set up while she went to find Hank.

  As she could have predicted, the news did not go down well.

  ‘You what? You mean to tell me that the band people bought a ticket to this game specifically to see, the band that is the reason today is a sell-out, aren’t coming?’

  ‘I need to look into what happened, Hank. The agent says he has a cancellation notice from us in writing. None of this makes sense to me, but I’ve done what I can, and we at least have some music for half-time. I don’t know what else I can do at this stage. I can’t get them here. They’re in California.’

  She threw her head back in frustration, looking at the ceiling of the tunnel where she was publicly having a conversation in raised voices with her boss.

  At that point, Kitty walked by. ‘Mr Henderson, if I can say, Abbie really has done her best to fix this by getting her friend’s band here. They’ve arrived and they’re ready to play. They had one song in the top ten a few months ago so they’re not completely unknown. Okay, they’re not Memphis Black, but they’ll put on a good show.’

  ‘Ladies. I don’t have time for this. I need to go and talk to the team. We have a game to win and then I have four children to console because they’re not meeting their favourite band after all. And Abbie, you’d better figure out how we’re going to respond to all the complaints that will be headed our way.’

  With that, Hank Henderson the Third marched off in the direction of the dressing room and Abbie’s heart sank. She felt sick.

  They did win the game, which was a small mercy, and The Flightless were brilliant. But she couldn’t feel happy about either as she left the stadium at the end of the day to go home.

  The following day she stayed in her pyjamas. She didn’t run in the park. And she didn’t do any work on the blog. She felt utterly useless. And she turned over and over in her mind what had happened the day before. Had the agent made a mistake with the bookings and didn’t want to admit it? All she knew for sure was that she had an inbox of complaints and calls for ticket refunds, and a very pissed-off boss.

  Abbie spent three hours on Monday morning personally writing back to all the complaints, explaining that their disappointment was understood but their tickets specified that the line-up was subject to change, hoping that they enjoyed the top-ten charting band The Flightless, and giving them a voucher to spend in the club store.

  She was utterly deflated, although Kitty had told her that Hank calmed down slightly after his seventeen-year-old daughter declared that he was the best father in the universe for making it possible for her to meet the lead singer of The Flightless, because her picture with him had the most likes she’d ever received on Instagram.

  A new calendar invitation popped into her inbox from Kitty, inviting her to a meeting that day with her and Hank to discuss the youth player trip to the UK. She felt her shoulders relax a little. At least there was that project to carry on with, and hopefully Hank would forgive and forget what happened with Memphis Black. She was still waiting for the email to come in from the agent, so she suspected he might be covering for making the booking error himself, or maybe it was a genuine mix-up, but either way, there was no point in dwelling on it. It had happened and she couldn’t change the past. She could only focus on the future, and with any luck, Hank would now get youth player fever. If she could make this field trip next week a success, hopefull
y it would regain his trust in her.

  Sitting in the meeting a little while later, Kitty cleared her throat before beginning to speak.

  ‘Sorry to call you both at such short notice, but we have a problem that couldn’t wait.’

  Abbie’s head shot up to look straight at Kitty. She hadn’t been told of any problems and she didn’t want to hear about anything like that for the first time in front of their boss. ‘What do you mean, Kitty? I thought we were on track with everything?’

  ‘I’m sorry, Abbie, we’ll have to pull the trip. All the visas were refused for the youth team and I’ve tried everything but it can’t be fixed in time.’ She looked stricken but Abbie didn’t have time for consoling as she felt panic rising for the second time in three days.

  ‘I don’t understand. We’ve already booked flights, hotels and coaches, and you said the visas were under control. What’s happened?’

  ‘I’m sorry, Abbie, and I’m sorry, Hank, but apparently there was something wrong on the application forms, and they just can’t fix it in time at the visa office. I feel terrible.’

  Hank banged his fist on the desk, causing both Kitty and Abbie to jump in their seats.

  ‘All I’m hearing is a lot of hot air. Abbie, you had ultimate responsibility for this project, and you should have been all over it, checking up on every element. Kitty can’t be blamed for this. She was trying to help and support your workload. I’m happy for her to do that but she’s not trained like you are in this area, and she can’t be held ultimately accountable. The buck stops with you.’

  Kitty started crying and apologising over and over. Abbie spoke through gritted teeth. ‘Don’t worry, Kitty. Hank’s right. It’s not your fault. I should have got this.’

  Dismissed from Hank’s office, Abbie trudged back to her own. She wondered what was going to happen to her. Would she be fired? She didn’t understand how everything had unravelled so quickly. Kyle, her work. It was like the world was still punishing her for what had happened in her past. She was stupid to think she could simply start again and everything from before would disappear.

  She left the office bang on the dot of five and headed straight to meet Rose. There was no gig to cover tonight, but they had planned to meet for a pizza and a beer, and dear god, did she need it.

  After she had relayed the awfulness of the day to Rose, she sat pensively, anxiously picking at the label of her beer bottle.

  ‘I’m thinking of going home,’ she sighed, utterly dejected.

  ‘You can, there’s nothing urgent to do on the blog. Get a good night’s sleep and we’ll chat tomorrow.’

  ‘No, I mean home, home. Back to England.’

  ‘You can’t!’ Rose exclaimed. ‘No way would the Abbie I know give up after a little mishap. Everything will be forgotten before you know it. These things always blow over.’

  ‘I don’t know about that. It’s two mishaps, and neither of them were very little. Hank is absolutely furious. And I bet Kyle is too. I haven’t heard from him but he was so excited for the kids to do this programme in England, and it’s all ruined because I took my eye off the ball.’

  ‘That’s not true and you know it. It was an accident. A mistake. They happen all the time.’

  ‘Yeah, but they can’t happen on that big a scale when I’m meant to be responsible. It’s been the mother of all fuck-ups.’

  Rose looked at her. ‘What’s really going on?’

  ‘I don’t know. I just feel with everything that’s gone wrong the last month maybe I was living in a false illusion here. Something happened to me back in England, when I was married. I always felt guilty about it, and moving here I kind of managed to squash it. But now I’m thinking maybe it’ll always be something I have to live with and I was just pretending here with this new life that it would go away. And, Violet is pregnant. Do I really want to be thousands of miles from my best friend and godchild?’

  ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about that you have to live with, and I’m not going to pry if you don’t want to tell me. But I don’t think you should make any hasty decisions when you’re upset. You’re too emotional right now.’

  Abbie hugged Rose tight. Her mind was whirring at a million miles an hour. She needed to sleep. But first, about five more beers.

  CHAPTER 25

  As Abbie was getting ready to go to work the next day, not entirely sure if she had a job to go back to, she heard a knock at the door.

  She quickly finished applying the mascara on her left eye, then ran downstairs. It felt like a punch to the stomach when she opened the door and came face to face with Kyle. He looked shocked as she visibly recoiled and started apologising for the early visit.

  ‘What do you want? I’m going to be late for work.’

  ‘I heard about what happened on Saturday at the game, and then yesterday from Hank, and I wanted to come to see you.’

  ‘Oh, so you can pile in on me as well. Go on then, say what you need to say. I don’t blame you for being pissed off.’ She stood there with one hand resting on the door and the other on her hip, waiting for the inevitable attack.

  ‘God no, Abbie. I’m worried about you, that’s why I came here. I don’t care about the trip, but it seems like something is going on and I feel responsible and, for fuck’s sake, will you let me in? I don’t want to have this conversation with you on the doorstep.’

  She felt temper building deep in the pit of her stomach, the likes of which she couldn’t remember ever having.

  ‘You feel what? Responsible? You mean guilty more like. I don’t need you coming over here treating me like some charity case to make yourself feel better. This has nothing to do with you.’ Her voice was rising and she could feel her jaw clenching.

  ‘I didn’t mean it like that. And of course I don’t think you’re a charity case. And I’m not trying to make myself feel better. Look, let me come inside, England. Please?’

  She looked at him and his pleading, sorrowful eyes and waved him into the living room. She couldn’t sit in the kitchen with him. The place where he unceremoniously dumped her. She hadn’t made carbonara since.

  ‘Shall we sit?’ he asked hesitantly.

  She pointed to the armchair. ‘Be my guest.’ She perched rigidly on the edge of the sofa, hands in her lap, playing with the charms on the bracelet her family had given her before she moved. The bracelet Kyle had bought her was deep in the recesses of her jewellery box. She couldn’t look at it. It hurt too much.

  ‘Tell me what happened,’ he said. ‘None of this makes sense. You don’t make mistakes like this, and I don’t believe you would have done any of it on purpose. I’ve told Hank he needs to calm down.’

  ‘I took my eye off the ball. It’s my fault. Things have been really busy and Kitty has been helping me loads. I just wasn’t checking things that I should have been, and I assumed things I shouldn’t have, and some things fell through the net. I still can’t explain how the band was cancelled, but their agent still hasn’t forwarded me this alleged email he claims he received, so maybe it’s a good old communication fuck-up. I thought Kitty would double-check everything with the band like she has for the last ten performers, but she thought I was doing it because I knew them. What can I say?’

  ‘Okay, and what about the London trip?’

  ‘Again, I have no real idea until I look into it more. Apparently, the visas weren’t applied for correctly.’ She shrugged. ‘All I know is I screwed up big time, Hank is furious, and Kitty is a nervous wreck because clearly my management skills are pretty fucking abysmal too. I’m going in today but I don’t know if I have a job, in all honesty. And maybe I don’t deserve to have one. Maybe it’s a sign.’

  ‘You’re being crazy,’ he said, his voice louder than normal. ‘You’ve worked your ass off since you’ve been here and you’ve been amazing. For the club and for me. You belong here and I’m not going to have you blaming yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, but it seems that Kitty wasn’t exactly on her A game either.’<
br />
  ‘She shouldn’t have to be. She was only supposed to be helping me because I bit off more than I could chew. And these weren’t mistakes, they were massive fuck-ups that have cost the club a lot of money and embarrassment. The opposite of what my job is. Let’s face it, I’m just not good enough.’ She slumped into the couch, a realisation hitting her at that moment. Everything in the past nine months had been a façade. She had run away, just like Violet said, but nothing had really changed. She was still the same Abbie Potter, simply making a mess of a different thing in a different place.

  ‘What? No, Abbie. That’s just not true. You are a phenomenal person, and I’m going to help you figure this shit out.’

  ‘So phenomenal you dumped me.’ She said the words quietly, the feelings of inadequacy flooding back from all those years ago, wounds that she thought were healing nicely suddenly ripped open and raw.

  ‘I…’ He stopped, seemingly not able to continue his sentence.

  ‘What? Realised the exotic foreigner wasn’t all that interesting after all? Certainly not for the great Kyle Miller.’

  ‘Jesus Christ, no. That wasn’t it at all. I thought you wanted to go home. I thought you were homesick as hell. So, I thought if you didn’t have me to worry about, you could make the choice you needed to make.’

  She laughed. A strange laugh that she didn’t recognise as coming out of her own mouth. ‘Nice excuse, Kyle. I’ve never said anything to make you think I was so homesick I was considering going back to England. In fact, quite the opposite. I’ve told you exactly how I feel about being here. But if that’s how you want to justify it, that’s fine. I don’t need explanations. Nobody has given me any before.’

  He looked wretched. ‘I’m not bullshitting you, babe. The night you took the girls to the airport, I let myself in. I was going to surprise you. But I heard you crying. So hard, I thought you were going to cry your whole guts out. I didn’t know what to do so I left for a while, then came back and knocked at the door. And then your dad. I know he was okay in the end but you were so distraught that you weren’t there, feeling guilty about being so far away when he could have been really sick. That’s when I knew it wasn’t fair of me to keep you here. Not when you so clearly needed to be with your friends and family in your home country. I care so much about you. I need you to be happy.’