Half the World Away

by Rebecca Banks

  ‘You don’t know that. Maybe different things would have cropped up. What’s happened has felt more like a plot from a film than real life, and I need some time to process things. I moved to Utah for a fresh start and so much happened so quickly, it’s been a lot. I went from living a stale kind of life, still grieving the end of my marriage and living under a cloud of guilt about the abortion, to having a big new job in a new country, a new relationship, meeting new friends and even starting the website with Rose. I took on a lot of things to keep busy, but now I’m sitting down, it’s all quite overwhelming. I need to take things slowly, and part one is talking to Hank, getting back to the States and getting my job back on track, which I’ve only known is a possibility for less than thirty minutes. Please.’ She looked at him with pleading eyes.

  He rubbed his hands over his face. ‘Okay. It’s not what I want, though. I want you. I know I hurt you, but I won’t do it again. I promise that. I love you, Abbie Potter.’

  Tears sprang to her eyes. ‘I just need some time.’

  Kyle slowly nodded, and she could see him clenching his jaw and fighting back tears. ‘And when you’ve had that time, I’ll be there. If you want me.’

  She felt as if her heart was going to crash out of her chest, but she knew what she had to do.

  CHAPTER 28

  Abbie looked around The Live Joint, which she was visiting for the first time since she got back, thinking how natural it felt to be there. She’d loved returning to her pretty house with the mountain views, and now a few days had passed, she felt right back at home. She’d seen Rose twice since she’d returned, and today she had popped into the bar for some Dutch courage.

  ‘Are you sure about this?’ Rose asked as Abbie picked up her keys and her handbag.

  ‘Absolutely,’ she said, determination in her voice. ‘You know what I learnt from my therapy? You don’t always get answers to things in life. You have to learn to live with the fact that things aren’t always tied up with a nice ribbon and a stamp marked closure.’ She mimed quotation marks as she said the last word.

  Rose came with her as she headed for the door.

  ‘I guess I’ll never know why Josh really left me, because only he knows what was going on in his mind at the time,’ she continued. ‘Did he just get bored of me? Was he having an affair? Who knows? I don’t and I really don’t care anymore. I have zero interest in talking to him. But what I can do is meet Kitty and ask her the questions that I have. I’ve been passive far too many times the past few years because I felt I deserved some things that happened to me. But now I don’t think I did deserve them, so this time I want answers.’

  ‘Okay,’ Rose sighed. ‘But I really think you should let me come with you. After the shit she’s pulled, who knows what she’s capable of.’

  ‘There’s no way she’ll do anything stupid. Hank promised he would write her a reference for her job search and not tell anyone he’d fired her if she met me and behaved. I asked him to arrange it for me.’

  ‘You’ve gone insane or you’re a glutton for punishment, there’s no other explanation,’ Rose said as she hugged Abbie goodbye on the street. ‘Good luck then, and I’ll see you later on. We have planning to do!’ She grinned as she skipped back into the bar.

  A short time later, Abbie headed into the café where she’d arranged to meet Kitty. She pushed down her nerves, reminding herself that she hadn’t done anything wrong in this situation and she was the one holding the cards. She saw Kitty straight away before her former colleague had spotted her, and anger bubbled inside her stomach. She took some deep breaths before approaching the corner table. She loudly pulled out the wooden chair opposite Kitty, who jumped at the noise, looking up at Abbie with wide eyes tinged with fear.

  ‘Abbie, how are you? How was your trip home? I got you a coffee. A macchiato, extra hot, just the way you like it.’ She pushed a cup across the table.

  ‘Really? That’s how you want to play this?’ Abbie snapped as she took a seat.

  Kitty visibly recoiled, and Abbie noticed she was tightly clasping her hands together. She needed to calm her temper if this conversation was going to go anywhere. Before she could speak, Kitty broke the silence that was dripping with tension.

  ‘Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to explain how sorry I am. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve lost everything. The job I worked at for a long time. The co-workers I thought of as friends. That place was my life.’

  Abbie felt her nostrils flare. ‘You want to blame that on me?’ she said, incredulous.

  ‘No. Gosh, this is coming out all wrong. I’m trying to apologise. What I did was messed up and I’m paying for it. That’s what I’m trying to say.’ Her lip started to tremble. It was the first time Abbie had ever seen the mask slip.

  ‘Okay, let’s start over. I didn’t come here to have a discussion that doesn’t achieve anything. I came here to get some answers, as I hope Hank told you.’

  Kitty nodded.

  ‘Why did you do it? It seems inconceivable to me that you would sabotage my job over a guy you hooked up with once when you were teenagers, but Kyle says that’s what you told him. So, I want the truth, from the horse’s mouth.’ She crossed her arms and waited.

  ‘Unfortunately, it’s true, although there is a part I didn’t tell him. I messed up and I guess that means I’m really messed up. I’ve never had a boyfriend, and I’ve kind of fixated on Kyle ever since we were teenagers. When I saw he was really happy with you, I felt the potential that I’d been pinning my hopes on slipping away. I started doing stuff that I am not proud of and that I realise was completely insane. Believe me, I’m shocked at myself, and embarrassed, and I wish I could take it all back.’ She looked down at her hands, still tightly clasped.

  Abbie shook her head. ‘Kitty, you’re right. It’s insane. What’s the part you didn’t tell Kyle?’

  ‘The jealousy took on a life of its own. I started to think that you had taken everything that was meant for me. The man, and the job. I didn’t tell anyone this, but when your job originally came up, I asked Hank if he would consider me for it. Yes, I was an assistant and I didn’t have PR experience, but I knew the club inside out and I was positive I could do it. When he said no and explained they were hiring someone with a soccer and PR background, I totally got it. But then when I figured out you and Kyle were together, I started thinking that you’d taken everything I wanted, and I wanted you gone. I thought if you left, I’d have a shot at getting all the things I thought should be mine. I’m getting professional help, Abbie, because I know this all went way too far and I almost got you fired.’

  Abbie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘That is seriously fucked up. I don’t even know what to say.’ She took a sip of her coffee, trying to think of a response to the madness she had just heard. She suddenly stopped, looking at her cup. ‘You didn’t poison this, did you?’

  ‘God no, of course not. I would never.’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re capable of after hearing that.’ A sudden thought flashed into her mind. ‘You said you worked out Kyle and I were together. Did you tell me about what happened at prom before or after that?’

  ‘I knew you were together when I told you,’ she almost whispered.

  ‘And did you mess up the renewal on my apartment on purpose so I had to find somewhere else to live?’

  Kitty’s face screwed up, as if she were about to cry. ‘Yes, Abbie, I’m sorry. I don’t know how I can apologise enough.’

  ‘I can’t believe you did all that and lied repeatedly to my face. I moved across the world for this job. I was completely alone, taking a huge risk away from my family and my friends, and you tried your very hardest to screw it all up for me. I don’t think I need to hear any more.’ She made to stand up but Kitty begged her to sit back down.

  ‘I really am sorry, from the bottom of my heart.’

  ‘Do you even have one, or is there just an ice block in there? I’m pretty sure you’re only sorry becaus
e you got caught. You didn’t just do something once, there were at least four things that I know of that got progressively more serious.’

  ‘I deserved that. All I achieved was screwing things up for myself in a major way, and I’m eating away at my savings in therapy.’

  Abbie decided she really had heard enough. ‘Kitty, I’m leaving. I’m not going to stay mad at you because I’m going to put my energy into much more constructive things. All I’ll say is I really hope you do get the help you need.’

  With that, she turned on her heel and walked out of the café.

  Rose took another swig of wine from her glass. ‘Wow, you absolute badass, I didn’t know you had it in you!’

  ‘Neither did I,’ Abbie said. ‘I was so angry at her but then I realised I’d got my answers and it wasn’t going to achieve anything going around in circles, so I got the hell out of there. I want her in the past, there’s too much other stuff to focus on. I’m not fired after all, for one!’

  ‘And the website!’ Rose said excitedly. ‘We need to talk about it. We’re doing so well. We’re bringing in enough now in sales commissions and ads that in theory we could both take a salary and leave our jobs. Well, I could replace my salary at the bar; it wouldn’t be close to what you’re making, I’m sure. So, I think we need a game plan.’

  Abbie high-fived her across the table. ‘I can’t believe it’s taken off so quickly – it’s beyond what I ever imagined. I’ve got some ideas for how we could keep growing too. For one, we could do a podcast. The two of us talking about the type of music we like and reviewing gigs and maybe getting some artists on to talk about something like the ten songs they couldn’t live without? Anyone who’s anyone has a podcast these days.’

  ‘I love it!’ Rose shrieked. ‘So, does that mean you’re quitting Utah Saints and we’re going to do this job full-time?’ She put her hands together in prayer and Abbie laughed.

  ‘Not quite, but I do have a plan.’

  ‘Go on,’ Rose urged her to continue.

  ‘With Kitty ruining my first season here I’ve got a bit of unfinished business, so I want a clean shot at seeing what I can do this year. But I think you should go full-time on the website and take a proper salary. I’ll take a small cut and work on it like I have been doing, and over the next year let’s put together a proper business and growth strategy. Then, my plan is to leave football for good at the end of the next season so we can take over the music website world. How does that sound?’

  Rose picked up the bottle of wine and glugged straight from it. ‘Yes, yes and yes. I can’t believe how exciting this is! I’m so glad you came back.’

  They hugged and Abbie felt a rush of contentment. She was excited about her plan too – about the next year and then beyond. She wasn’t scared of the unknown. She silently thanked the universe for bringing her Rose. The Salt Scene and Rose had given her something she didn’t think was possible – a way she could work in the music industry, which had been her first love, and enjoy it rather than find it painful.

  ‘It’s such a weight off my shoulders, having this plan.’ Abbie smiled. ‘It feels like everything is slotting into place. Who knew when I moved here that I’d fall into a dive bar and it would change my whole future? I can’t even imagine never having met you. Salt Lake City would have been shit.’

  ‘Don’t think about it,’ Rose said, handing Abbie the bottle. ‘It’s too traumatic, and you never have to worry. I’m here for life.’

  ‘Thank god. It’s a shame you have Stella, I’d marry you in a heartbeat otherwise.’

  Rose suddenly looked serious. ‘No, you wouldn’t, because you like men. One man in particular. Are you still holding out on him?’

  She put her chin in her hands. ‘We’re both keeping a respectful distance. Everything was pretty overwhelming, I was just in the middle of dealing with some pretty heavy shit, then there he was in my kitchen and, oh god, I think I might have broken his heart. He told me he loved me.’

  ‘And do you love him?’

  She looked at Rose, not saying anything, thinking of Kyle. Her heart wanted to burst out of her chest when she thought of him. Though she’d thought about him a lot when she was still back in Liverpool for her remaining few weeks, since she had returned to Salt Lake City, it had intensified with the memories of times they’d had together frequently filling her thoughts. It had physically hurt when she realised how much she missed him. Of course she trusted him, and of course they’d just had a couple of bumps in the road, all due to the fact that both of them had been hurt before. Nothing so terrible that it couldn’t be overcome.

  He had taught her to throw caution to the wind every now and then. Fly down a slope on a snowboard. Hike through a desert. Love again.

  She met Rose’s eyes and ever so slightly nodded her head.

  ‘Then get the hell out of here, you idiot, before that single white female shows up at his place putting on an English accent and takes your man.’

  At that sobering thought, Abbie nodded and jumped up. It was time to be fearless one more time.

  Ringing the doorbell at Kyle’s house, Abbie felt a flurry of nerves as she heard his familiar footsteps approaching. When the door opened, she moved in a sudden panic, tripping and falling backwards.

  Kyle dashed towards her as she cried out, but he was too late, and she ended up flat out on the ground, a pain searing through her arm.

  The shock sent them both silent until she broke the quiet by bursting out laughing.

  ‘Does this feel like déjà vu or what?’ she said, through the giggles.

  He sat down next to her, shaking his head and trying, but failing, to suppress his smiles.

  She propped herself up to sitting, gingerly checking her grazed arm. Then she shrugged. ‘I’ll survive.’

  ‘That’s the spirit,’ he said, and she smiled at him.

  She shuffled over and lifted herself to sit on his lap, checking if he resisted before wrapping her arms around his neck.

  He wound his arms around her waist.

  ‘England, you came back to me. Are we good?’

  She brought her forehead to meet his, noses touching.

  ‘We’re good. I had to go half the world away to find you, but I know that life with you is home.’

  EPILOGUE

  Abbie couldn’t believe how different Park City was when the Sundance Film Festival was in town. The pavements were packed with people spilling out of the shops and restaurants while skiers and snowboarders walked through the streets with their skis and boards, weaving around film buffs and partygoers. The snow-covered mountains loomed imposingly at the end of Main Street, which was lit up as dusk entered with multicoloured fairy lights strung down its length.

  Kyle guided her and Lily into a bustling, noisy restaurant where he knew the owner and had snagged them a table on one of the busiest nights. He’d also called in a favour from a friend and got tickets to one of the movie premieres, and the three of them would be gracing the red carpet just a couple of hours from now.

  Lily was shaking with excitement and said she was too anxious to eat, but Kyle ordered her food anyway and told her if she didn’t eat anything, there would be no premiere. She dutifully ate a burger and fries, practically licking the plate at the end.

  Abbie was going to travel back to England two days later with Lily for a short trip home before the new MLS season started in a few short weeks. Memphis Black would play at the huge opening match, which was already sold out. She was so excited thinking about it.

  Her attention was brought back to the present when Lily started rapidly swearing under her breath.

  ‘What’s up, Lils?’

  ‘Over there, Abbie, over there,’ she said, pointing across the room. ‘It’s Tom Holland. The actor I’m going to marry. The most gorgeous man in the whole entire world.’

  Abbie and Kyle looked over to where she was pointing.

  The next minute, Kyle was beckoning to the group and Tom Holland and friends headed over.


  ‘Hey, buddy, how’s things?’ Tom asked as he greeted Kyle like a long-lost brother with a big bear hug.

  Lily sat, mouth agape, mute. Abbie watched the whole exchange amused and confused.

  ‘Great, man, let me introduce you. This is my girlfriend Abbie; she’s from your homeland. And this is her sister Lily, who’s visiting. Abbie, Lily, this is Tom, one of my best snowboarding students.’

  He greeted them both with kisses on their cheeks, and Lily’s face flamed red.

  Tom and his friends had to leave to get to the premiere of his new movie, but not before Kyle snapped a photo of him with a beaming Lily. She hadn’t said a single word in the past five minutes, but as soon as they left, she started babbling while furiously texting on her phone.

  ‘The girls are not going to believe this. I need to put it on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook and Snapchat. Kyle, please can you marry my sister? Then maybe we can have a joint wedding?’

  Abbie and Kyle burst into laughter as they watched her tapping away.

  Soon it was time for them to leave too. On their way out of the restaurant, Abbie’s phone rang and she saw it was Michael. She answered straight away.

  ‘I’m a dad. And you’re a godmother. Violet has just given birth. We have our little girl.’

  And just like that, the day that had already been pretty amazing turned into a perfect one. She took Kyle’s hand on one side and Lily’s on the other and walked down the snow-kissed street.

  Acknowledgements

  Well. Where do I start? Probably with the fact that being in a position of writing acknowledgements for my debut novel is the stuff of dreams. I’m pinching myself!

  If you’re reading this, know that I am so happy and grateful you picked these characters and their story to spend your spare time with – I hope you enjoyed reading Abbie’s adventures as much as I enjoyed putting them down on paper. I’d love to hear from you – you can find me on social media.