Bad Intentions

by Stayton, Nacole

  Oddly enough, I end up being pleased without hitting a homerun. I never in my wildest dreams thought I could be as turned on as I was then, and that I would feel safe in the hands of someone who is a hundred times more experienced than I. But as Ryle’s finger slid inside my panties, I forgot to think about anything other than the experienced touch that brings me to the brink of ecstasy.

  Ryle’s cock twitches in his jeans. As much as he wants to lose control with Adaley and slide into her wet, virginal opening, he knows once that line is crossed, their fate would be sealed. No matter how possessive he feels in this very moment, after the fact, his possessiveness would reach new limits.

  He is frightened to death to claim her.

  Even so, there isn’t anything in the universe that he wants more.

  “And then what happened?” Zoe asks with a mischievous grin on her face.

  I blush, not wanting to tell her the yummy details, but settle with, “He fingered me.” After she pinky promised not to tell a soul.

  “Oh my God!” A screech flies out of her mouth.

  “Stop! Don’t make a big deal out of it! You swore you wouldn’t tell anyone.”

  “Why would I tell someone that? It’s not like you went all the way, and guess what? Even if you did, I wouldn’t write it on a T-shirt and flaunt it around campus. Calm your tits,” she retorts with sarcasm. “Was it good?”

  “Gah.” I make a weird sound like I’m failing to pronounce a word correctly. “I have nothing to compare it to.”

  “What a sad life you lead, Adaley.”

  I chuck a purple, ruffled throw pillow at her head. “Don’t remind me.” I sit up straight on my bed with a newfound confidence. “Besides the past is the past, and I’m moving forward.”

  “You better be moving your ass to that shower. We have to be at the field in, like, a hour.”

  “I got it. I got it,” I repeat on my way to the bathroom.

  As soon as the water hits my naked body, my mind recalls the events from yesterday. My body tingles from head to toe, just thinking about the way Ryle made me feel. I’m not ashamed anymore. How could I be, when he made me feel so comfortable and adored?

  I’m still a bit leery to jump right into a relationship with him. I mean, he did admit to having numerous sexual partners. I’m sure I even go to class with some of them. The thought alone makes me quiver, and not in a good way.

  The past is the past. I intend on doing my best to remember that.

  I finish washing and then add ample conditioner to my hair, when I hear my name being shouted through the closed door.

  “Adaley!” A hard knock follows.

  “Be out in five,” I shout back. “The joys of having a roommate,” I mumble.

  “I heard that, bitch!”

  Laughing at our silly banter, I climb out of the shower and toss my hair into a towel. “What is so urgent that you had to interrupt my shower? Maybe I was getting off, and you totally just interrupted me.”

  My body freezes, as I follow Zoe’s pointed finger to the corner of our dorm room, where no one other than Ryle is standing with a giant grin plastered on his sun-kissed face.

  “Well, this isn’t embarrassing.”

  He takes a step toward me. “Hey, didn’t I tell you not to be embarrassed around me anymore?”

  I’m at a loss for words. I grasp the cotton towel that is folded at my side tightly and take a step backward into the steamy bathroom. Ryle follows suit and takes another step forward.

  “Oh. My. God. This is sickening to watch. Adaley, just meet me at the field.” Without making eye contact with me, Zoe practically runs out of our dorm room.

  “Care to elaborate on that whole spiel about what you were doing in the shower?”

  It is all too easy to get lost in the way he looks at me from head to toe like he wants to devour me.

  “I was joking.”

  Ryle pins me against the sink, holding me in place with his eyes. I gasp as a corner of my towel slips, and I expose myself more while grappling to catch it. In a moment of courage, I simply let it drop to the floor. My throat tightens, and I wait for him to make a move – to do anything other than look in my eyes. My cheeks color under the heat of his stare.

  “I want to bend you over that sink and take you right here, and if I weren’t trying so damn hard to do right by you—by us—I would.” His eyes remain glued on mine.

  I fight the urge to wrap my hands around his neck and pull him closer.

  My eyes follow his tongue as it flicks out to lick his lips, and I surrender, willingly losing the battle just to taste him. Our lips collide in a hunger that makes me believe that he’s also reliving the moment we shared yesterday.

  I’m standing naked in front of him, and although our mouths are moving—nipping at one another’s—Ryle doesn’t touch me. His hands stay folded in his pockets.

  “Touch me,” I whisper through panted breaths.

  “Please don’t ask me to do that, Adaley. I want to so damn badly, but I won’t be able to stop, and you deserve more than a quickie in a dorm room bathroom. Okay?”

  She nods her head, but Ryle knows that Adaley doesn’t fully understand. To her, it probably feels like she’s getting turned down. Which is definitely not the case. Ryle knows himself, and is certain if he stands in front of her for one more second, he’ll lose control completely. Although he’s equally sure they would both enjoy it, he also knows this moment is not the right one.

  “We’re running out of time.”

  She kisses his neck, trailing little licks down to his shoulder.

  “Adaley,” he mutters as she rakes her hand over the bulge in his pants.

  “Ryle,” she mocks.

  Without hesitation, he steps back and puts distance between them. Bending at the knees, he retrieves her towel from the floor and wraps it around her once more.

  “You are a little tease. Now get dressed, or I’m going to be late.”

  He briskly turns and shuts the door behind him, leaving a very naked and very aroused Adaley behind it.

  I’m a fucking idiot, he thinks, shifting himself in his pants and silently begging her to put clothes on.

  As much as I like to complain about Zoe’s sex life, there’s no one else I’d rather talk to about my nonexistent one. Ryle keeps shutting me down, and it’s utterly frustrating. What kind of man walks away from a girl who is buck naked in front of him?

  I slide one foot through the hole in my faded denim shorts, and I have an epiphany. Maybe that’s why he’s not acting on his instincts. Maybe he wants me to play hard to get. It could be like before, when he confessed to being turned off that I was trying to gain his attention.

  I stow my frustrations, finish getting ready, and exit the bathroom. Ryle is sitting in my computer chair, spinning around in circles. “You ready?” I ask, as the spinning comes to a halt.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be. You do know they’re shaving my head, right? I mean, we could head for the hills if you want to?”

  Even though I’m trying to play it cool and keep us distanced, my body automatically moves toward his, and I run my hands in his wealth of hair. “I happen to think you’ll look cute. And even if you don’t and your skull is all lumpy and gross, at least no other girls will hit on you.”

  “You sound like a greedy girlfriend.” He grabs me by the waist and lifts me in the air. “I like it.” He dusts my face with kisses and just like that, every worry I had in the world disappears.

  We leave my dorm and are greeted by the fiery orange leaves that have been coloring the tree limbs over the past week. The campus brochure said it’s breathtaking in the fall, and I have to say that I absolutely agree. It’s so strange to think that I’ve already been here for over a month. I haven’t really kept in touch with my parents either—or anyone, including Mark. It’s totally out of the norm for me. I feel as if my mom and dad didn’t support or understand my decision to switch colleges at the last minute. I don’t blame them though. It was sup
er spur-of-the-moment and, if we’re being honest, it was a little irrational.

  I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything though. Especially as I walk toward the baseball field, holding hands with the hottest guy on campus. Today marks one week until Braxton’s official start of the playoff season, and to get the team pumped up, they’ve decided to shave their heads in solidarity.

  Don’t ask.

  “Should we maybe take a picture together before I look like a douche bag and you don’t want to be seen with me?” Ryle turns to me.

  I burst out laughing. “You want to take a selfie?”

  “Well isn’t that what all the hype is about now?”

  “You’re killing me!” I smile with approval before sliding my phone out of a pocket. “Okay, come here. Closer. Smile.”

  The phone makes a shuttering sound, and it’s official. We look like losers taking a selfie.

  “Well isn’t this cute.” The annoying sound of a brunette gnat approaches. Ryle and I ignore her, hoping that she’ll get the hint and fly away. “Did your little girlfriend decide to tag along? Hey, Adaley,” Naomi is seething, although she tries to rein it in and sound friendly. She isn’t trying hard enough. “So are you guys a legit item now? Apparently, if he’s willingly holding your hand in public. You, know we never got that far in our relationship. Honestly, we didn’t leave the bed much. Oh, did Ryle tell you how much he likes when you circle the tip of your tongue around his—?”

  “That’s fucking enough, Naomi,” Ryle fumes.

  “Sorry, Naomi. I wasn’t listening, and I think that Ryle’s reached the end of this pleasant conversation. Run along,” I dismiss her with a wave of my hand. “I’m here to watch my boyfriend get his head shaved, which is a hundred times more pleasant than standing here humoring you.”

  “Bitch,” I hear her spit out like venom before she stomps away, flip-flops blazing.

  She should really learn who she’s messing with, because one of these days, I’m really going to let her have it. And to think I ever felt sorry for her.

  “You good?” Ryle nudges my side before lacing our fingers back together.

  “I’m good.”

  Twenty minutes and a lot of laughter later, Zoe and I attempt to make the boys feel better. “It looks fine. You guys are worse than females when it comes to your hair.” I twist a strand of mine around my finger.

  Tank replies, “Yeah, and you didn’t just shave off your—whatever that thing is…braid—now, did you? Come on now. Give us a little sympathy.”

  “We’re so sorry you guys had to suffer through this. At least it was all for the love of baseball.” Zoe taunts the trio that includes Tank, Kaiser and Ryle – Braxton’s most elite amigos.

  I lean forward and slyly snake my arm through the crook in Ryle’s. My gesture doesn’t go unnoticed. “Holy fucktard. You two? Is this like an actual relationship, or just a little fuckery on the side?”

  Tank is a total idiot.

  “I don’t know what this is. Feel free to ask him.” I impassively shrug my shoulder, and then take off bouncing to catch up with Zoe and Kaiser, whom seem to have forgotten about us lingering behind them.

  I can’t hear Ryle’s response, but I’m hoping that it went something along the lines of, “I want to marry her and make babies all day and night.” I chuckle out loud at how amusing that sounds, before I feel my body being lifted easily into the air. My arms and legs flail like a fish. I’m sure I look like a total goober. My cheek brushes the side of Ryle’s now-shaved head. It feels soft, yet strange.

  Bye-bye wealth of dark hair. Hello buzz cut.

  My limbs dangle over Ryle’s shoulders. He comes to a halt. “Should we go swimming? It might be the last time before the weather breaks.” Ryle’s offer amuses me. I’ve never witnessed him being so—dare I say—happy.

  “I’m in, if you put me down.”

  “That’s not happening,” he responds with a smirk that spreads across his face into a wide grin. He has no idea how adorable his dimples are.

  “We’re in,” Zoe chimes in, speaking for both her and Kaiser.

  “Well aren’t I the little outcast,” Tank pouts while placing his hands in his front pockets and rocking on the balls of his feet. “Let me rectify this.” He pulls his cell phone from his pocket.

  Before he has a chance to tap on the screen, I ask, “Is it Paul or Jane who’s going to tickle your fancy tonight?” Everyone erupts in laughter. It’s like my friends are a pack of hyenas.

  “If it’s Paul, I’m out,” Kaiser says, unwrapping his arm from around Zoe’s shoulders. “I’m not judging you, bro. I swear I’m not, but it’s one thing to accept your choice and then another be forced to witness it.”

  Zoe looks like she’s been slapped in the face, as she pulls back her head and stares blankly at him. “If you can’t accept my brother, then this is over.”

  Tank approaches her side. “Seriously, stow your sisterly overprotectiveness. I’m cool with it. My lifestyle isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and the last thing I want is to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Much less another player on the baseball team.”

  This little rendezvous has gotten out of hand and morphed into an episode of one of those Lifetime shows. “Can’t we just go swim and be merry?” I ask from my position perched on top of Ryle’s shoulder.

  “Nah, I’m out,” Zoe says as she turns on her heels and walks in the opposite direction.

  “Zoe, come here. Let’s talk about this.” Kaiser chases her.

  “I guess I’m out too. Maybe Paul can comfort me,” Tank winks before striding forward.

  “And then there were two.” Ryle swings my body around so that he’s holding me in front of him. Slowly he lowers my body until my feet hit the ground. “Are you out too?”

  “No sir, I’m ready to get wet.”

  Oh my gosh. Did those words just come out of my mouth? Mortification at its best, right here.

  “Way to be blunt about what you want.” His face splits into a generous grin.

  “I was…I didn’t… That’s not how I meant that to come out, and you know it!”

  We laugh in unison until we make our way back to his apartment a few blocks away from the ball field. “What am I going to swim in?” I ask as we walk up an array of wooden steps that lead to his apartment.

  “Panties?” His laugh is deep, warm and rich. It’s genuine and causes a smile to form on my face.

  “I’m not too good to swim in my bra and underwear, I just don’t want everyone getting a free glimpse of my lady parts.”

  He slides his key into the door handle and twists. Looking back over his shoulder, those eyes that always seem to hypnotize me, hold me in place. “I’m the only guy who deserves the right to see you prance around in those.”

  “Oh. Is that right?” I counter.

  With the swift motion of his hand, he pins me against the side of his apartment. A ray of light through the open door illuminates his strong jawline. My back slides against the brick wall and he leans forward, rubbing his nose gently over my cheek, stopping when his mouth is directly above my ear. Something intense passes between us in the seconds before he spreads his luscious lips and says, “Tell me I’m not right.”

  Words fail me.

  He takes my hand and pulls me roughly toward him. Our chests collide forcefully as he sweeps me into his arms. Our limbs become frantic as they search for a way to bring us closer. I swear I’m on the verge of exploding with pent-up need. I can’t even think about anything other than him. This moment. I beg silently that this is it. That he’ll lose the last bit of restraint and let himself get lost in a world where only he and I and his bed exists. Hell, I’ll even take the couch or the floor at this point.

  “Fuck, Adaley.” He bites my lower lip. My core rubs against him as he carries me into his bedroom. Tossing me onto his bed, he leaps onto the mattress after me. As his weight dips down, my breath ceases. “I’m so fucking turned on by you. Every second of the damn day. When you eat, I
imagine you licking my cock. When you smile, I imagine your mouth wrapped around me.”

  “Take me then. Show me that your words aren’t just talk. Let yourself get lost. Please. I want this.”

  His body visibly recoils.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask as he draws back from me. “Did I miss something? I thought that this is what you wanted, too.”

  Rejection is an ugly bitch and yet, I feel like she’s my best friend since she is always around.

  “I just want…” he moves to the edge of the bed and places his hands on his face, covering it. “I don’t want this to just be about sex for once.”

  For once.

  A smidge, okay I lie—a tidal wave—of jealously pulls me under. Without looking at me, he somehow senses my mental retreat. I close my eyes for a second and try to catch my breath as I feel his weight shift on the bed. When I open my eyes, Ryle is sitting on his knees in front of me.

  “Adaley,” his voice breaks the silence. There is a certain huskiness to it that lures me in, taunts me, and then always seems to push me away. “What I meant was, I truly like you. I like what we have. I like who I am when you’re around. I want to make love to you, trust me I do. But I don’t want it to end there, and that’s all I’m used to. I’m accustomed to always being left.”

  “I find it hard to believe that all of your little conquests wouldn’t love to stay in bed with you and lay wrapped in your arms.”

  “They probably would, but in my eyes everyone leaves, and as much as I pushed them all away and told them I wasn’t a relationship type, I secretly wanted them—just one of them—to fight for me for a change. You know, that none of them did. They all just fucking left.”

  I rub a hand over my face and try to make sense of what he’s saying. “They left like you asked them to, and now you’re mad because they didn’t fight you on that?”

  “Yeah,” is all that he says.

  I urge him for more, unsure that he’ll truly open up. “Please explain this to me. I want to understand. I want to fight for you, so don’t try to push me away anymore.”

  “I’m fucked up. I’m…not worth it. I think you should leave.”