Chasing After Infinity

by L. Jayne

  He blows me a kiss. “I’m sexy and I know it!”

  I hurl an empty carton at him and he finally stops, returning to our table as we both break into loud laughter.

  “I don’t know how I can stand being seen with you in public,” I say after a moment where we’re catching our breath from laughing so much.

  “With my good looks, the answer’s obvious.” He swigs some juice.

  “Oh, just shut up for once.”

  “Guess who I just saw running out of the bathroom crying?” Kara Stevens’s voice says. I look up to see her sit next to me, tucking her long legs under the table. With her ocean blue eyes and flaming red hair, she is pretty hard to miss. I met her in grade five when we had bonded over getting glue all over our sticky hands during an art project. Her tray clatters to the table for emphasize as she says, “Sarah Adening, the pom-pom cheerleader.”

  “Huntington’s cheer-cheer girlfriend?” I raise my eyebrows, still munching.

  Hayden looks bored, his earlier goofiness gone. “Did he dump her on her ass or what?”

  “Seems like it. Her friends were all trying to comfort her in the hallway. I heard she got the news through a text message this morning.”

  “One down, forty two to go.” Hayden snickers.

  I say, “He’s obviously not capable of loving someone if he had the nerve to break up with someone through internet and not face to face.”

  Kara makes a non-committal sound, tsking. “Well, you can’t exactly say that when you haven’t dated him.”

  “Even if I did, I’d be able to prove my theory.” I sniff. “Why are we talking about him anyway?”

  “Let’s discuss matters more interesting soon because I’m ready to fall asleep,” Hayden quips.

  “You guys,” Kara replies, rolling her eyes. “I just don’t get why you two are so dead set against him. He’s pretty nice when he wants to be and not all that evil honestly.”

  “Has everyone drank some super strong Jack and all gotten stoned over Huntington?” I demand and snort. “’Cause he’s got each person here wrapped around his freaking finger.”

  Then suddenly, I feel my chair tip over by someone behind me and startled, I nearly crash onto the floor. I right myself and spin around to give the person a scowl. It’s as predicted, Adrian. Speak of the damn devil. He’s laughing now, his entire posse with him. His buddies slap him on the back, cackling and barely holding back laughs as they stare at me. A girl is beside him and she’s the only one not laughing, her porcelain features stern, her blue eyes narrowed at him.

  “Watch yourself, Ave,” Adrian drawls, holding my chin with his finger. I wrench it away. “You might want to be careful around me. I warn you not to repeat that episode this morning again.”

  “I do whatever I want and you can’t stop me,” I bark.

  Adrian’s eyes flash but he soon controls himself. “Okay. So be it.” He turns slowly, tension spiking the air. He walks toward his table but at the last second, he whips around, grabs a nearby glass, and pours the orange juice over my head. I don’t move but stand there, silent as cheers and hoots ring across the room. The juice soaks my hair and seeps through my shirt. I grit my teeth together, refusing to let him faze me as he throws the remaining juice on me, smirking.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  It comes from behind me, a low, warning voice. I turn slightly to see Hayden getting up from the chair he’s been occupying. His eyes are stormy as he moves swiftly toward us, sneering.

  Adrian steps closer. “And just who are you?”

  Hayden ignores his question, looking half-amused. “I don’t know why you’re fucking with her. It better be a good reason. But I advise you to leave her alone.”

  “I see.” Adrian cocks his head to the side, watching me from behind Hayden. “What if she doesn’t want me too?”

  “Hayden, lay off,” I say fiercely, slipping between them in case they start fighting. I knew it was going to end badly if they do. “I can handle my own shit.”

  Adrian glances at me and curls his lip. “Yeah, tell your little boy to calm down,” he says in a mocking voice. What he says next hits me hard. “Used goods.”

  Rage boils in me, simmering beneath me. That’s it. I see Hayden tense and before he can hit him, I’m the one who pulls back my hand and hit him. Much to my shock, he sidesteps me and dodges my swing with a smirk on his face.

  “You throw a punch like a girl,” he states dryly. I don’t wait two seconds before I punch him hard in the face. He obviously isn’t prepared as my fist collides with his nose and he stumbles back a bit, spitting at me as blood trickles down his chin. I draw back my aching fist and stare. Kara’s hand flies to cover her mouth. The entire dining hall student body turns, suddenly all tense and quiet.

  Behind me, I can feel Hayden’s eyes on my back. I can almost see the way he’s looking at me, completely slack-jawed.

  “You’re a girl so I won’t fight you,” Adrian growls, his glass green eyes on me, drilling into me. He wipes his face with the front of his white shirt, bloodying it. Then his whole expression changes and he smiles darkly. He walks languorously past me and then turns around to drawl, “You better watch your back because there’s a dangerous game for you to be playing lying ahead.”

  I stare into him and smile sickly sweet back. “Hey, why don’t you kiss my ass?”

  At that time, I didn’t know how much trouble I was going to get myself into.

  And boy, I was going to get in a hell lot of a mess.

  chapter three

  AVENA

  It has officially begun. When I get to school on Thursday morning, I'm greeted with a huge blown-up picture of me glued onto my locker. It looked like my face except for perhaps the drawn black bushy moustache and scrunched eyebrows with narrowed eyes. Kara whistles deep and low beside me. Clearly Huntington's work. Students snigger when they pass, looking from me to the poster.

  “You've got it now,” she says, shaking her head.

  “If he thinks he's trapped me, then he's dead wrong,” I bark.

  I open my locker and get out my books, shutting it brusquely. Adrian can't run the school forever like he's the king of the world and anyone who gets in his way becomes ruined. My pride refuses to take his stupid crap.

  “Why do you insist on trying to mess with him?” Kara asks me through the reflection of her compact mirror, putting on her shimmery lipgloss. She offers me the tube but I decline.

  “Because he has no right to act like he's God's gift,” I retort.

  She shrugs. "Well, I bet it felt good to punch him, eh?" A toothy smile breaks out on her face.

  I smirk involuntarily. “What do you think?”

  We exchange a private grin as we fight to break out in stifled laughter.

  Then I see my picture beside Kara's head and my laugh dies out. I find the horrendous poster stuck on quite well when I try to pry it off. I wedge my fingers under the paper, tugging but it won't budge free. Dammit! I hand Kara my textbook and use both of my hands to yank it off. The poster stays strong and I kick my locker door in frustration. In retaliation, it swings shut, hitting me straight across the nose. Revenge, it says in Adrian's spiteful voice.

  “God, are you okay?” Kara holds my shoulders while I hiss in pain, bowing over, my hands flying to my face. I look up, blinking away the drowsy haze and see her stifling her laughter. My nose throbs in pain. No blood, only a huge bump on my forehead, rapidly turning red.

  I barely let out a groan of outrage, spitting out venomously, “I’m going to kick that ass!”

  Then I've decided. No more Mr. Nice Guy. If he wants to play rough, I'd give him rough.

  I head home and immediately go to work. My numerous trips to the drugstore had the salesclerk there asking me what the matter is by the third visit.

  The next day, I’m dead on ruthless. By the first bell, I’ve got everything set. All it needed is its victim. I stand around the corner of the corridor, waiting for the first
signal.

  As students pour into the hallways, I glance down at my watch. When is he ever coming around? I cross my arms over my chest, irritated. I steal a look at the hallway again and feel my heart lift with smugness as Adrian rounds the bend. As usual, his throng of sophomore girls trail beside him, trying to engage him in conversation. I see him half-heartedly smiling to them, spinning the lock dial.

  Then a girl stops him and kisses him. Distracted, he drops the lock and envelops her in his arms, pulling her closer. I roll my eyes. Can’t he just get on with it? While kissing, he reaches behind her to open his locker to get out his books.

  I barely hide my laugh as a huge overload of tampons crashes over their heads, spilling to the floor. Flabbergasted, Adrian stares at his locker while the girl pushes him away. Tampons are in his dark hair, making him look ridiculous. The sophomores scatter away and people stop as they pass to gawk. Whispers and giggles spread out as he stands there, looking fairly incredulous.

  It’s all I need. I push myself off the wall and covering my grin, I head to class with my head down. While Mr. Corsairs talk about aqueous solutions, I keep on replaying that moment again and again in my mind. It’s not about revenge; it’s about retribution.

  And I want to see how long I can fight fire with fire until it burns me.

  One of Adrian’s worst cases was a girl who was in my pre-calculus class, Emily Innings. They started dating the first few weeks into December. While we did math problems, she’d gush about how hot and funny he was and how he made her feel like the only one in the world who took her seriously. She was heads-over-heels over him. It wasn’t until the third week that she declared that she was in love.

  He took her out on his ride, spun her around until she was dizzy, and exhilarated. Then one day, all of it disappeared.

  She called me to tell me that he’d stopped calling her for a week. She didn’t know what to do. I told her to give it another week; maybe he was busy that time because it was finals season after all. But the second week came and there were no phone calls or text messages. And by the third, the news was out. Huntington was dating another girl, Jennifer Kelson, the captain of the swim team.

  Emily completely broke down. She cried when she came over and I didn’t know how many tissues I had to give her because it was dumpster-tonnes. And all I thought then was: How stupid to cry over a guy like that. One that didn’t even tell you that you were just another snotty tissue to throw away before he uses another one.

  In English, Adrian doesn’t seem fazed at all by the murmurs and hidden laughter. I feel glad that he’s now deciding to ignore me. He barely looks my way and I can’t help the smug look on my face as I take the notes on the board.

  After class, he corners me on my way to biology. “Nice little prank,” he says casually, his eyes flickering. I try to go around him but he pushes me into the wall, holding me there. His hands are between me, trapping me on the set of lockers. He leans over me, face resting close to mine threateningly.

  “Come off it,” I retort and wrench him away from me, gathering my books and going to class. All the while I’m walking down the hall, even though there are a bunch of other students, I can only feel a pair of green eyes burning my back.

  All through the afternoon, there’s this precautious feeling in me because I know something’s going to happen. But I just don’t know how to prepare for it.

  “I still can’t believe you were the one who did the tampon thing.” Hayden walks beside me, shaking his head. Today he’s wearing a faded old 80’s shirt and his standard torn blue jeans. He can’t help but laugh at my description of Adrian’s bewildered expression.

  “That boy has got it coming for him,” I reply.

  “Oh, Ave.” He sticks his hands into his pockets, blinking away strands of his platinum hair. “I don’t know why you always go looking for trouble. I get it that your mom died and your dad’s MIA but do you have to--”

  “Don’t say it.” I turn to face him, my voice crisp. “Don’t remind me of it.”

  His eyes turn downcast uncomfortably. “I’m sorry. All I’m saying is that you’re harming yourself by getting involved in his little game.”

  I clutch him by his shirt collar and something about the way he awkwardly shoves his hands into his pockets makes me kiss him on the cheek softly. “I know.”

  Hayden yanks me off and stalks ahead of me, obviously disgruntled. I catch the sleeve of his shirt, ready to say more.

  I’m so engrossed in letting him hear me explain that I don’t hear the shout. I glance up, taken aback and see a huge vase poised on the windowsill two stories above me.

  My heart stops. “Avena!” Hayden yells, turning, eyes wide.

  It is pushed and all I see is the big canopic vase fall, almost hypnotically. Everything goes in slow-motion. In a split second, I half-turn and freeze in place, unable to move.

  Time slows to a halt as if someone pressed the pause button. And in a rush of pure adrenaline, I duck and the vase just nearly misses my head, landing on the cement with loud crack just centimetres from where I was standing. The clear glass shatters instantly, bringing up a waterfall of sharp remnants.

  Exhaling sharply, I look up and see a flash of haughty eyes up on the balcony and an array of hair. Then he’s gone.

  I stare at the broken vase. It could’ve cracked my head open or worse. Without hesitating, I race through the courtyard, into the school and up the stairways where I immediately find Adrian and his friends at the second floor, laughing.

  I storm over toward them, all the blood rushing to my head as Adrian looks up and sees me. I jab a finger at his chest. “What the hell were you thinking, dipwad?” I snarl. My teeth grits together. I’ve been mad before but this intense feeling just eats away at me. I actually see red drifting in my field of vision and my arm itches to fulfill my promise to beat him up.

  His buddies exchange a look. “What are you talking about, young lady?” Adrian says with a bit of amusement in his voice.

  “I’ve had enough of your shit, Adrian. Tell me, did you or did you not throw a vase at my head.”

  He looks a bit caught off guard then he’s laughing. “A vase? I’m a polished person. If I were to hurt you, I’d chuck something at you much more than just a vase.”

  Adrian infuriates me so much I fear I’m going to explode. “You jackass!” I scream as I run to him, swinging my fists. He bypasses me easily and grabs me from behind, before lowering his head and letting his lips brush my face.

  “What a delicate temper,” he says softly in my ear.

  “Get off of me,” I growl, twisting out of his arms. I strike at him roughly but he quickly dodges me again. His cypress green eyes laugh down at me.

  I try to control my anger as I shoot him my most hateful look and stalk away, knowing I couldn’t get him to admit it.

  Then when I’m walking away, his voice rings in the distance. “Did you see her try to hit me?” I can hear him chortling with the others.

  My ability to think flies out of my mind. That’s it. I’m going to kill him.

  I turn jerkily and rush for him wildly, my face murderous. “Easy there!” Adrian says, laughing to himself and putting his hands up sardonically. “I’m not stupid enough to get hit a second time.” I try to punch him again but my aim is a little bit off and he pushes me away, smirking and turning to his amused friends. I stagger back, adrenaline racing through my veins. Just as his back is turned to me, I jump onto his back, wrapping around him like a koala bear.

  Then I hit him with my fists and he tries to turn fully to get me off but I clamp on tightly to him. “Fucking monkey!” Adrian curses, trying to deflect my blows. “Let go!”

  “Never!” I keep on hanging on to him until he disentangles himself, yanks my hands off, and shoves me to the ground.

  I fall to the grass, my back stinging. Getting up slowly, I glare at him.

  Jabbing a finger at his chest, I growl, “You’re going to pay for this one day.”

&nb
sp; Then I turn, walking away from his howling friends with as much dignity as I can muster.

  Ψ Ψ Ψ

  “Are you Avena?”

  Surprised, I look up from my book and see the girl that has been with Adrian on the day that he humiliated me in front of the entire school. The library is mostly secluded and I wanted some time alone to catch up on Macbeth but I nod. “Yeah, what’s up?”

  The girl smiles subtly, her fringed blue eyes warm as she takes the seat opposite of me. “I was right then. There was something familiar about you.” She examines me and I feel like I need to step back. “So you’re the girl that stood up to Adrian the other day, huh?”

  My mouth is dry as I look at her. “Yes,” I say slowly, drawing it out as a question.

  A grin breaks her face. “You’re probably the most interesting girl I’ve met around here.” She shrugs. “I’m just glad there’s someone out there who doesn’t walk the same ground as Adrian and kiss the path he’d walked on.”

  I squint at her. I can’t figure out if she’s mocking me or something. She looks like a human Barbie doll with her straw blond hair and flawless skin. Must be part of his social circle. “Are you Huntington’s present girlfriend or something?”

  She laughs and shakes her head. “No, I’ve known him since we were in diapers. He’s like my pseudo brother.” When I don’t respond, she sighs and extends her hand to me. I stare at it as if it were some alien form of life. “I’m Valerie Penning.”

  I hesitantly shake her hand. “Um, cool. Avena. Avena Rivers.”

  She languidly leans forward to as if engage in some girl talk. “So…is there something going on between you two?”

  I cringe. “Ugh, no! No, no. There is nothing between us.”

  “So what is your relationship with him?” Valerie says after a pause, looking genuinely curious.

  I sniff. “Let’s just say that for Adrian, there’s the population who totally loves him. On the other hand, there’s that small percentage of people who want to rip out his intestines and feed them to the dogs.”