Delivering Secrets

by Fiona McArthur

  She gave him a level look. ‘Tomorrow about seven would suit me if that’s all right with you.’

  He looked down at her walking beside him. It only seemed like days ago he had believed he was eager to settle his affairs with Anthea. But suddenly life was different and he couldn’t believe he was willing to forgo a decent relationship for lust of another woman. Anthea was right. She deserved the truth.

  ‘Tomorrow will be fine.’

  * * *

  Ellie was surprised when she heard the outside door shut after Luke. It had only been a couple of minutes since they’d left her. Bad luck, Anthea, Ellie thought grimly. Then she decided that must be why she hated night duty. She became such a bitchy person without proper sleep.

  Five minutes later Anthea actually came to help clean up the birthing suite while Summer was in the shower. Ellie eyed her warily as Anthea stalked around the birthing unit and washed down the bed in quick circular movements. She kept glancing at Ellie and seemed to be waiting for her attention. Ellie stopped restocking the delivery trolley and looked up with forced interest.

  Anthea raised one eyebrow. ‘Isn’t Luke a wonderful person?’

  ‘He certainly seems to care about his clients,’ Ellie said carefully.

  Anthea smiled but there was no amusement in it. ‘I mean as a man. He’s handsome, kind, rich…’ She paused and made sure she had Ellie’s attention. ‘And we plan to get married this year.’

  ‘Are you trying to tell me something, Anthea?’ Obviously the other woman was picking up on Luke’s attention to herself, and Ellie couldn’t blame her. If the positions had been reversed, Ellie would scratch Anthea’s eyes out. Ellie froze for a moment as she recognised the jealousy that had prompted that thought.

  She received another humourless smile from Anthea.

  ‘Stay away from him.’

  Ellie shook her head wryly. I wish. Maybe she did need to get out of this town and the vicinity of Luke Farrell, but Cleopatra wasn’t going to evict her.

  ‘You’re kidding me. I work with the guy three days a week in the surgery and maybe two nights a week here. But if you mean don’t seduce him, then I wouldn’t dream of it.’

  That wasn’t strictly true. Because she really couldn’t guarantee she wouldn’t dream of it. But, Ellie sighed, Anthea’s point was taken. They were engaged to be married and Anthea was only protecting her property. Ellie felt incredibly tired.

  Anthea nodded once, apparently satisfied she’d stated her intentions. ‘Thank you, Ellie.’ The phone rang at the nurse’s station and a suddenly reasonable Anthea went to answer it.

  Ellie stared after her. Anthea was still a strange woman. But if Luke has decided she was the woman for him, then there must be good in her somewhere. And Luke deserved someone who appreciated how wonderful he was. Ellie appreciated him but her loyalties lay with Josh.

  The rest of the night flew as Ellie assisted Summer to balance the twins for simultaneous breastfeeding back on the ward.

  ‘You were incredible, Summer,’ Ellie said as she rolled the two cots close to their mother’s bed afterwards.

  ‘It was my best birth yet and I’d heard a few horror stories about twin pregnancy births.’ Summer laughed. ‘But they reckon the person who cares for you in labour is such a big influence on how well your labour goes.’ She shook her finger at Ellie. ‘You were terrific and I think we’re a great team. Don’t you?’

  Ellie laughed. ‘The best. Now, try and get some sleep as these two princesses here will be waking you for a feed again soon.’ She leaned over and turned off the light. ‘If by some miracle they don’t wake before I go off, I’ll catch up with you at the clinic. We have to get some Grannies organised for you.’ She rolled the room door partially closed and walked back down to the birthing unit to finish cleaning up.

  * * *

  The sun rose on Saturday morning not long before Ellie finished work. The air was pleasantly cool but it had the feel of late summer in it and she slid her sunglasses out of her bag to shield the glare from her eyes.

  A black BMW reversed into the parking spot next to hers and the next thing she knew Luke was standing beside her.

  ‘Good morning, Ellie.’ His voice was cheerful for a man who had been up through the night and Ellie couldn’t help smiling back at him. He looked delicious in a high-buttoned shirt and dark trousers. Someone she’d love to curl up with when she crawled into her bed. Then she remembered he was Anthea’s.

  Her eyes widened and she shot a look at his face again to see if he’d read her thoughts. At that moment she tripped on the edge of the gutter and would have ended up at his feet if he hadn’t shot a hand out to steady her.

  ‘Don’t go to sleep before you get home,’ he quipped, but his hand didn’t let go. It could still have been the fault of night duty, but she seemed to be staring at his long fingers around her arm unable to drag her eyes away. Why did she suddenly wonder if she might have missed out on the greatest love affair of all time?

  ‘Hello, earth to Ellie.’ His hand dropped and she shivered involuntarily at the loss. But it woke her out of her daze.

  ‘Sorry, Luke.’ She took another couple of steps until she reached her car and then turned back to him. ‘Maybe I’m a closet epileptic. I think I’m having staring attacks from lack of sleep.’ She blinked hard a couple of times.

  ‘I could call you Ellie Petit Mal—it has a nice ring to it.’ He smiled at her and she warmed from her toes to the very short hair on her head. ‘Go to bed, Ellie. I’ll see you on Monday.’

  ‘Night,’ Ellie murmured as she opened her car door.

  Luke watched her drive away. He didn’t really think the jolly approach had worked at establishing rapport between them. He still wanted to draw her into his arms and keep her safe. And she was strange this morning. He hoped she hadn’t taken on too much. Josh seemed a great kid but it must be hard being a single parent. From what he’d seen, it didn’t look like the boy’s father had provided much for them before he’d died, and Luke had to fight the urge to offer help.

  Luke turned to stare at the steps to Maternity. He’d promised Anthea he’d do his rounds early before she went home. She’d have a coffee waiting for him and he’d better go in. She probably wouldn’t talk to him after tonight but in all honesty he was falling back under Ellie’s spell more each day.

  * * *

  Ellie shifted from lying on the lounge to resting her head on her hands at the table as Josh chattered through the day. He didn’t seem to mind that his mother was quieter than normal, but by the afternoon Ellie was sick of feeling like a dishrag. She needed some exercise and some energy.

  So she mowed her lawn, the Judds’ lawn and pruned some of the tangle of overgrowth in the back yard. She still didn’t feel any better than she had that morning but Josh had a great time.

  Ellie paused to drink a mouthful of water and wipe her brow. She was awake, right enough. But that dull ache she’d discovered in her chest after Anthea’s announcements refused to go away. She reached for the clippers again. There was a certain satisfaction in snipping. What she needed was a friend.

  Not a male one!

  * * *

  On Monday morning, Belinda Farrell turned up for her appointment half an hour earlier than booked. Ellie welcomed her with open arms into her room.

  ‘Hi, Belinda. It’s great to see you. And we’ve got some time to talk about your labour.’

  Belinda smiled shyly at Ellie’s effusive greeting and held out her arm to have her blood pressure taken.

  Ellie wrapped the cuff around her upper arm and quickly did the observations. Belinda’s blood pressure was a little higher again than last week but still not dangerous. ‘Are you getting enough rest, Belinda?’

  The young woman shrugged. ‘What’s there to do? I live alone in a small flat and watch television.’

  Belinda stood on the scales and she’d gained two kilograms in a week.

  Ellie wrote it down and then sat beside her. ‘Have you noticed that yo
ur feet are more swollen?’

  Belinda nodded. ‘I had to buy a pair of those slip-on shoes because all the strap ones cut into my feet.’

  Ellie frowned and marked that on the card. ‘Sometimes pregnant ladies get a condition called pregnancy-induced hypertension, PIH. In the old days it was called eclampsia and it can be very dangerous. Your blood pressure is a little higher again this week and now you have the swelling of the feet. If you get a sudden bad headache above your eyes…’ she indicated her forehead ‘…or blurred vision or even a pain in the chest, sometimes it means your blood pressure has taken a turn for the worse.’

  Belinda nodded that she understood. Ellie went on, ‘You have to ring us here, or Luke at home or the midwives at the hospital so that we can get you checked out.’

  Belinda’s eyebrows rose. ‘Even in the middle of the night?’

  Ellie nodded emphatically. ‘Absolutely.’

  Belinda shrugged. ‘OK.’

  Ellie relaxed slightly. ‘So, where do you live? Do you have any friends or neighbours that visit you?’

  ‘Not really. I just watch the soaps. I wish Travis had never come back here to live, but with the baby coming I don’t have the energy to move back to my old home.’ She shrugged tiredly. ‘There probably isn’t anyone I know there now anyway.’

  ‘Well, you know me, and I’m here. And if you visit my house you can meet my son, Josh. He’s four and will talk you under the table if you get bored at home.’

  They smiled at each other and Ellie pulled out a pregnancy diary that she’d found in the newsagent’s for Belinda.

  ‘I found this really cute little book which I’d like you to have. It’s got pictures of your baby as it grows inside and talks about how labour works with lots of diagrams. It even has a section for a birth plan. Read it and we’ll talk about any questions you have next week.’

  ‘Ellie…’ Belinda looked up and met Ellie’s eyes. ‘When I said last week that I wasn’t worried about labour…’ She paused and drew a deep breath. ‘Actually, I’m terrified. Plus, I think Travis’s mother thinks she’s coming in to be there for the birth. I don’t want her to be.’

  Ellie bit her lip. Unless the woman had changed a lot in the last ten years, Luke’s mother would be the last person Ellie would want with Belinda in the birthing unit. ‘Have you told Luke this?’

  Luke came to the door and poked his head in. ‘Sorry, girls. Was just walking past and heard my name. Told me what?’ Belinda paled and Ellie stood up and frowned at Luke, trying to get the message to him that his timing was bad.

  ‘I’m sorry, Luke. I’d really appreciate a chance to discuss something with Belinda in private, if that’s possible? Perhaps you could give us a few minutes?’

  ‘Sure,’ he said, but the look he shot over Belinda’s bowed head promised an inquisition later. He deliberately shut the door to the tiny room as he moved away.

  ‘I’m sorry, Belinda. Go on if you want to.’ The silence in the room lengthened but Ellie didn’t want Belinda to feel she had to say more if she wasn’t comfortable.

  Belinda shook her head and looked down at the floor. ‘I was saying I don’t want his mother to come in. I just kept hoping she’d forget about it, but she rang me yesterday and said to make sure to ring her and she would drive me in when I went into labour.’ Belinda twisted her wedding ring around on her finger. ‘I didn’t know what to say.’ She looked up and Ellie could see her lip was trembling. ‘But I don’t want her there.’

  Ellie put her arm around Belinda’s shoulder. ‘Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Luke can help with this.’

  Belinda shook her head. ‘Don’t tell Luke.’

  Ellie winced at the division in loyalties that would involve, but Belinda was oblivious to Ellie’s problems.

  Belinda bit the skin on the side of her finger. ‘Just don’t. Or he’ll hate me, too. I know they all blamed me when Travis disappeared, but if Travis wanted to disappear it would have been because of his mother hounding him to do better—not from anything I ever did wrong. That woman just got worse when she found out I was pregnant and it was driving Travis mad.’

  Ellie squeezed the thin shoulders under hers. ‘Nobody blames you for an accident. I think you’re fabulous, the way you’ve kept going after this tragedy. Believe me, I know what it’s like to lose someone you love and at least I had a chance to say goodbye.’

  Tears seeped from under Belinda’s lids and Ellie felt like joining her. ‘I’m sorry for upsetting you, Belinda.’

  Belinda wiped her eyes on her arm and it underlined just how young she was. ‘I’m not crying because of that. It’s because you’re so nice to me and I’m just not used to it.’

  Ellie sniffed and smiled. ‘Good. Then I can stop crying, too.’ They both started to laugh, funny, hiccuping laughs with a hint of tears in them. They both stood up and Ellie opened the door. Luke was just going past with his coffee-mug.

  ‘Hello again, you two,’ he said. ‘What’s so funny in there?’

  They both stopped so abruptly that they looked at each other and started to laugh again. Ellie grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. ‘Girl stuff,’ she said, and Luke gave her a searching look.

  ‘Well, if you’re finished, perhaps you’d like to come through now, Belinda.’

  Ellie quickly wrote on one of her smily cards and gave it to Belinda. ‘Here’s my phone number and address. Give me a ring if you want someone to talk to or I’ll catch you same time, same place, next week. We still need to go through some labour stuff.’

  ‘Thanks, I will, Ellie. Bye.’ Luke looked surprised at Belinda’s enthusiasm and Ellie just smiled.

  * * *

  At the end of the day’s work, Luke came into the nurse’s room and leaned on the doorframe. Ellie wished he’d caught up with her outside, maybe in the car park where his presence was diluted by some space and options for escape.

  ‘You seem to be getting along with Belinda well,’ he said.

  Ellie fiddled with the pens and squared the papers beside the computer. ‘It’s my job and, besides, I like her.’ She avoided his eyes.

  Luke took a step closer. ‘Is there anything you need to tell me that will affect her coming birth?’

  Ellie shrugged and closed down her computer, trying to pretend she wasn’t affected by his nearness. Guilt niggled over Belinda’s problem with Luke’s mother because she’d promised not to discuss it with Luke. ‘We have something in common. We both experienced pregnancies after our husbands died.’

  Luke stepped back and his voice softened. ‘So how long before Josh was born did your husband die?’

  ‘Two weeks. He tried so hard to hang on but there just wasn’t time. He’d refused chemo until I fell pregnant and he became very ill so quickly.’

  Luke sat on the client’s chair and Ellie turned to face him. She leaned her back against the desk with the computer to keep as much space between them as possible because she wouldn’t want him to hear her heart racing.

  ‘That must have been hard. So who was with you when you went into labour?’

  The sympathy in his voice brought a lump up in her throat. ‘My mother stayed with me, but she left as soon as Josh was born.’

  Luke shook his head. ‘How is your mother?’

  Ellie laughed. ‘Still the same. She’s still bitten by wanderlust and permanently searching for greener pastures.’ The opportunity was there for some information. She shot a look at Luke. ‘And how’s your mother?’

  ‘Older. Perhaps more bitter since Travis died.’ Ellie winced at that unattractive picture but didn’t say anything. He went on, ‘I think she’s expecting Belinda’s baby to fill a void.’

  Ellie had to at least try to help Belinda. ‘And do you think that’s healthy?’

  He sighed. ‘I’m hoping that she’ll see no one will replace Travis but I do think it’s an opportunity for her to soften with a new grandchild.’ He stood up. ‘Enough about my mother. I know you didn’t get on with her but she’s really quite aged
now.’

  He had no idea what the old witch was capable of. Ellie shook her head. ‘She hated me, Luke. I’m wondering if she has any softer feelings for Belinda.’

  He looked surprised and she had to admire his loyalty. ‘She loves Belinda. She told me. Besides, my mother never hated you, Ellie. In fact, she passed on your message about your new and exciting life and career in Sydney to me and seemed very pleased for your happiness.’

  Ellie shook her head. Would that be the same day she told me you were married? Ellie thought bitterly, because Ellie had certainly been single with every intention of meeting up with Luke again when she’d made that phone call. Ellie wondered if she would regret her decision to tell Luke. But it wasn’t just her younger self and Luke that had been affected by Elsa Farrell. It was Belinda as well. Luke needed to know what his mother was capable of.

  Ellie turned off the computer and grabbed her bag for a quick get-away. She took a deep breath and hoped she wasn’t doing the wrong thing. The words spilled out into the tiny room like hard pebbles. ‘The only time I spoke to your mother on the phone was five years ago when I rang to talk to you, to talk about coming back to Bell’s River and you. She told me that you were happily married and expecting a child.’

  She watched Luke’s eyes narrow as he weighed up what she was saying. ‘I married Steve a month later because he needed me.’ His expression hardened but he didn’t say anything.

  Ellie pushed past and opened the door to the car park, knowing he wouldn’t be able to follow her because he had to lock up. She just hadn’t planned on him walking out after her.

  She felt his hand on her shoulder and before she could shrug him off he’d spun her around to face him. The look on his face stunned her. His other hand came up to secure her other shoulder and he gave her a little shake so that she dropped her handbag.

  Luke felt as if he’d been hit by a giant fist. He shook his head in denial. ‘I don’t believe my mother would deliberately sabotage my relationship with you.’ He’d told his mother how he’d planned to marry Ellie and she’d never said anything against the idea. She hadn’t said much but he couldn’t remember her expressing disapproval. ‘You must have misheard her.’ His voice was harsh.