by V, Krissy
“You were amazing” I say leaning over to kiss him. I’m a little bit embarrassed because I don’t know these people and I’m kissing him, but it just seems like the right thing to do and he seems to be enjoying it.
“I could get used to kisses like that after singing for you. Do it again.”
I lean over and do as he wishes. He smiles into my mouth and looks into my eyes. “Thank you for coming tonight, it really means a lot to me.”
“Of course I came, where else would I be? You have done so much for me these last few days and I wanted to watch you sing because I enjoyed it so much on Saturday.” We both sit there and smile.
I hear someone clearing their throat and when I turn around Karen is smiling at me. “When you’ve had enough kissing they want you to go back on, Tully.” She says chuckling.
“Ok Ok I’m ready.” He smiles at me and then grabs his drink and downs it in one.
They start the second half with “Sex on Fire” by Kings of Leon and everyone gets up to dance along, us included.
Towards the end of the set Tully speaks to the pub. “I want to dedicate this song to someone special. I hope she doesn’t mind but Nollaig this one’s for you Mo Mhuirnín.” He looks right at me when he says it and I can feel the colour rising up my cheeks, but I smile at him.
Helena leans over and whispers in my ear “you know that means ‘my dear’ don’t you?”
“I wasn’t sure what it meant, but I like it when he says it.”
They then start singing “It’s only Christmas” and it is so meaningful about loss at Christmas and I can feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes. I watch him moving around the stage, watching me as he sings. He knows the emotions he is evoking in me, I can see it in his eyes.
“Do you remember what you wished for every Christmas?
Do you say a prayer and send it on a star?
Well maybe I’m just being over sentimental.
But now it’s Christmas and I miss us most of all
You know I never really took the time to thank you
I was always thinking you were here to stay
It is something in the air that gets me crazy
Cause now it’s Christmas and I miss us just the same
When it’s cold I get lonely
I can’t talk, I can’t walk, I can’t breathe
Then I dream and you hold me and the angels are singing with me
I guess it’s Christmas when I miss us most of all
So let the snow come down and drown out all my sorrows
Maybe I can dance again with you
And as the children sing, I swear I heard you whisper
That now it’s Christmas but I miss us just the same
When its cold I get lonely
I can’t talk, I can’t walk, I can’t breathe
then I dream and you hold me and the angels are singing with me
I guess it’s Christmas when I miss us most of all
I guess it’s Christmas when I miss us most of all
Cause now it’s Christmas and I miss us most of all”
When the song is over Tully puts his microphone down and jumps off the stage and comes over to me to hug me.
“I’m here for you Mo Mhuirnín” he says holding me tight. “I’m here to help you get through this horrible time in your life. Let me help you get through it – you don’t have to do it alone anymore.”
“I loved it, it meant so much more than any gift you could give me. Thank you” I say into his shoulder. “Now get back up there an finish your set before I get lynch mobbed.”
He stands back and kisses me quickly on the lips and then jumps back on stage. They sing another few Christmas songs and then we all stand while they sing the Irish National Anthem.
I look at the clock and see it’s twelve o’clock, where did this evening go? Tully comes over to me “Well? Did you enjoy it?” he asks.
“I loved it, you were fantastic, all of you. I’m so happy that I came tonight.” The smile on his face makes it all worth it.
Helena and Joey help us to get the equipment back inside the car and then I say goodbye to them.
We go back inside and say goodbye to the others. The girls have been really nice to me and I have their numbers to try and arrange to meet them one day.
We get into Tully’s car and he drives me home, all the way he has hold of my hand, even when he changes gear.
“I’m glad you came tonight, I was nervous hoping you would enjoy it. I’m really happy that you did.”
“You were great and thank you for singing that song to me it meant so much.”
We sit there quietly for a while and then he pulls into my drive. “Are you coming in tonight?” I ask not looking at him.
“I’d love to, but only if you give me my favourite.” He smiles as he gets out of the car and comes round to open my door.
“Of course I’ll make you a French Vanilla, but I hope you don’t like them more than me?” I say jokingly.
We have reached the door and he pushes me up against it, he pushes a loose hair away from my face and he says “I love French Vanilla’s now but you are my passion, I want you Nollaig and your French Vanilla’s are an added bonus.” He kisses me on the lips very gently and I slowly wrap my arms around his neck and he deepens the kiss. When he pulls away he says “maybe I don’t want French Vanilla’s this evening, I just want you.”
I blush, turn around and open the door, then I take his hand and lead him upstairs to bed.
I dream of Christmas with Mam and Dad, all the things we used to do and then I dream of walking to the grave on Christmas Eve holding Tully’s hand. He is holding me up, being supportive, being my rock.
Day 7
Friday 19th December
The sun shines through my window waking me up. I yawn and stretch out in the bed and then I turn around and see Tully watching me. I smile at him and then he leans over me and kisses me “good morning” he says.
“Morning did you sleep well?”
“I did and now I’m ready for the day ahead. Let’s get up and have breakfast and then I will tell you what we are doing today, if you are free that is?”
I laugh as I get out of bed, I’m exhausted and I have things to do but I want to see what he is going to come up with next. I’ve finished work for Christmas so I have plenty of time to get organised.
We get dressed and then go down to breakfast where I finally make him his French Vanilla. I make French toast and bananas to go with it and we sit at the dining table.
“So, if you don’t have anything else to do today I wanted to take you somewhere special and magical. I’m not going to tell you where we are going as I want it to be a surprise. I just need you to trust me. I’ve done ok so far haven’t I?” he says looking very nervous.
“I have things that need doing, but I am enjoying my introduction to Christmas so much that they can wait for another day. I’m in!” I say laughing and reaching across to take his hand.
“Phew” he says wiping his forehead with his free hand. “I need to go home and get changed. Do you want to come with me and see where I live?”
I nod my head “yeah that would be lovely.” We clear away the dishes and then we climb into his car and he drives me out to his house in Bray. Bray is a seaside town and he drives me along the seafront, it’s grey and the sea is very wild today. It’s very cold out, but it is so beautiful.
“I love the seaside” I say out loud.
“Me too, which is why I moved out here. It’s beautiful all year round.” He pulls into a drive in front of a house that is at the foot of Bray Head. It’s a big house that has three floors and lots of steps up to the front door.
He helps me out of the car and then holds my hand while he opens the front door and pulls me inside. It’s really clean and tidy, that’s my first impression of the house. I was expecting it to be dirty and messy, I’m pleasantly surprised. I follow him up to his room where he gets changed. His room looks out on t
he sea and he has a big double bed facing the window so that he can see out at the view. It’s amazing.
I stand looking out at the view when I feel two arms come around my waist and then a small kiss is planted onto my neck. “MMM that’s nice” I say, trying not to move so he can give me more kisses.
He stops kissing me and moves his mouth to my ear. “We need to go or else I won’t let you out of this bedroom today Mo Mhuirnín.” I chuckle and then we move apart and go back downstairs, out of the house and onto his motorbike. I’m just glad I’ve wrapped up well!
It takes about an hour and a half to arrive at our destination and the whole way there I am clinging on tight and trying to guess where we are going. We pull up at a forest which has a sign saying “Santa’s Train Experience”. I gasp, Bree mentioned this last year as she bought Tyler and Elena and wanted me to go with them and I said no. Tully parks the bike and we both climb off. “Are you ok with this?” he asks me and I just nod my head. I don’t know what to expect, but if it makes him happy that I come with him then I’m not going to turn him down.
We go and join the queue and when we’ve entered he says “OK the first thing we are going to do is make a Christmas Elf.” He smiles when he says it and won’t let go of my hand.
“Isn’t this for children?” I ask him, confused.
“This is for anyone who believes in the magic of Christmas Nollaig and I am trying to help recapture your magic. Trust me, please?” he pleads.
“I trust you, come on then let’s make some Elves.” I laugh and he pulls me to the workshop.
“Welcome to Santa’s Manufactory” a little elf says. “Today we are all going to make a felt elf. Come along and sit down, each table has been set with everything you need.”
We sit down and it takes about an hour to make and we laugh our way through it, it is so much fun and we get to take the elves home with us. I might sit mine on the mantelpiece when I get home.
“I really enjoyed that” I say to Tully as we leave the workshop. “What’s next on this Christmas Agenda?”
“Next we are going to see Santa’s sleigh that he actually uses to bring presents around the world.” He looks like a little boy in a toyshop, I like to see him this happy.
“OK, take me wherever I need to go.” I say laughing at him. He pulls me along to an area where there are snow covered trees and Santa’s Sleigh is there. It is very big and red with a gold stripe outlining the sleigh. It is beautiful.
“Wow Tully this is really beautiful” I say as we walk around it checking it out. “Do you think we can sit in it?” I ask him.
He nods his head “yes come on” he climbs in and holds out his hand for me to take it to help me get in. Once I am inside I sit down and look at the masterpiece that is the sleigh. It really is beautiful.
All of a sudden a voice says “look this way please.” I do and then I see a flash go off.
I look at Tully and he says “we can treasure that photo now, that’s the day that you sat in Santa’s sleigh.”
I smile at him and ask “can I buy a copy of the picture?”
“Of course you can come on let’s go order a copy.” He jumps out first and then he grabs me by my waist and lifts me out too.
We walk over to the photographer and arrange for two framed copies and two keyrings of our photo, he tells us that we have to come back to collect it in an hour.
“What are we going to do now?” I ask getting really excited, I can feel the magic of Christmas seeping into my bones.
“I think we need to go for some lunch and then we are doing something really exciting this afternoon.” Tully says smiling at me and pulling me close and holding his arm over my shoulder.
We walk outside to the restaurant and we sit down and look at the menu. “Oh I don’t know what to have” I say reading all the lovely things on the menu.
“I’m going to have the scone and hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows I think” he says putting his menu down on the table.
“That sounds lovely, I think I’m going to have that too.” I say putting my menu down and the waitress comes over and Tully orders for us.
I take this quiet time to look around me and I see families sitting together with their very excited kids. They are chatting away and the kids are smiling so much, it makes me feel sad that I won’t be able to do this with my parents, but I also feel sad that I missed out on this with Bree’s kids.
“Hey don’t frown, this is a happy day.” He says reaching across and covering my hand with his.
“It’s a really happy day, I’m having so much fun thank you. I think I forgot that Christmas should be fun.”
He smiles at me. “I think I might be breaking through your anti-Christmas wall.”
“I think you might, but the hardest time is still to come. Thank you so much though for doing all of this – it really is too much.”
“Nothing is too much to see you happy Nollaig.” He lifts my hand and kisses me on my knuckles. I smile at him and blush at the same time.
The waitress comes over and puts our hot chocolate and scones down on the table for us. It looks yummy. We say thank you and start eating and drinking.
“Nollaig can you do something for me please?” Tully asks.
I look at him and he’s blushing “of course what do you want me to do?”
“I would love to hear you describe this hot chocolate for me, please?” he smiles at me.
I laugh. “Ok let me take another taste.” I lift the cup to my mouth and smell it first, then I take a sip and savour the taste. I wait until after I have swallowed it and savoured the flavours before I speak again.
“When I lift it to my mouth it smells of night times around the fire. Then when I sip it I can feel the chocolate flavour swirling around in my mouth. It feels like a bit of wintertime and then the sweetness of the marshmallows hits me as the chocolate goes down my throat, leaving the marshmallows sitting on my tongue. They then slowly dissolve and I feel the sweetness slide down my throat. All I want to do is take another sip because it tastes so good.” I think I must have zoned out because when I look at Tully he is looking at me strangely.
“That has got to be the most erotic thing I have heard Nollaig, I know you’re only talking about hot chocolate but my mind started racing, I love the way you describe things” he says looking down at the table and then reaching across to take my hand. “Thank you for letting me show you what the magic of Christmas means to me.”
We have a quiet moment and then we stand and leave the restaurant. He takes my hand and pulls me over to a sign that says “Queue here for the Santa’s Train Experience.” I start to get excited in anticipation of where we are going to go next.
The small train pulls up at the stop, it has Christmas lights all over it, lighting it up in the ever darkening sky. We climb aboard and wrap the blanket, which has been left on the seat, around us. It is starting to get really cold and you can see the breath leaving Tully’s mouth when he says “Now for some real magic.”
I smile at him and lean into his body. The train pulls away and it drives along a pathway into the forest where you can see people picking their Christmas tree. The kids are getting excited jumping up and down when they find their perfect tree. We get deeper into the forest and it is getting darker, as we reach the deepest part of the forest we see a light in the distance. “What’s over there?”
“Shhh” he says “listen to the silence in the forest and then you will hear it.”
I sit there and listen, the train has stopped and we are all sitting in silence. Then we hear it “ho, ho, ho”. I turn and look at Tully with a big smile on my face.
There is a wooden cabin and it is about a five minute walk, when we get there a lady is stood outside. She looks homely with red cheeks and she has little round glasses on. “Welcome to you all, I am Mrs Claus and Santa is just finishing off his mulled wine and then he will be ready to see you.” She walks around and gives all the adults a glass of mulled wine. It’s so
tasty and warm, which is perfect for standing outside in the cold.
Everyone takes it in turns to go in and see Santa and I say to Tully “obviously we can’t go inside as we are adults!”
“Nollaig, Christmas is about believing in Magic. Of course you can go in and see Santa.” I smile at him because I’m so excited. I haven’t been to see a Santa in a lot of years.
Mrs Claus comes out and calls my name. “Nollaig are you ready? What a beautiful name for this time of year!”
I walk forward, nervously. “My parents loved Christmas and I was born on Christmas Day.” I say to her as she takes my hand and nods to Tully to come forward too. I go inside the cabin which is decorated with candy canes, Christmas lights and an amazing Christmas Tree in the corner.
“Hello there Nollaig” Santa says coming forward and taking my hand, he pulls me further into the room so that he can sit back down on his big chair. “I won’t ask you to sit on my knee because I don’t think you will be comfortable with that, so please take a seat on the chair.” He chuckles. Mrs Claus brings a chair forward for me to sit on. I’m staring at him as I sit down. I’m in awe of him.
“So I understand you were born on Christmas Day and that’s why you have such a beautiful name.”
“Yes I was.”
“It’s hard having a birthday on Christmas day isn’t it?”
“Yes it is.”
“Well this year is special Nollaig, I know your parents died on Christmas Eve five years ago.” I look down to the floor so that the tears don’t start to flow. “I also know that your Mam and Dad loved Christmas. I used to get lots of letters from you and your sister Bree.”
I look up quickly because I’m so surprised he knows so much about me. Maybe he really is magical.
“I see this year you have been trying to recapture the magic of Christmas and you’re doing a really good job. Your parents would have loved to bring you here and share this moment with you, but sometimes we have to let go without forgetting them. You need to make your own Christmas magic and memories. You can still tell them all about it, just keep their spirit alive in everything you do.” He moves around in his chair to reach into his big sack, which I can see is full of presents.