by V, Krissy
By the time I’ve got out of the shower I feel much better and have made my decision. I need to cut this off before it gets out of control and the pain becomes too much. I get dressed and go downstairs to the kitchen to see Tully handing me a mug of coffee with a big smile on his face.
“Here you go, I know it’s not as nice as the French Vanilla’s you made last night but it’s a start.”
“Thank you” I start to drink it and keep looking at him.
“So tonight I want to take you somewhere magical” he says sipping his coffee and looking me in the eyes. “You need to dress up warm, I’ll collect you about 7.00pm if that’s ok?”
I gulp and think about what I want to say, I want to say No I have other plans and I can’t see you tonight, but when my mouth opens it moves of it’s own accord. “I’d love that. Are we going on your bike again?” What the hell!
“We sure are! I think you like my bike as much as I do” he laughs.
I nod, put my coffee down and start to get my things together for work. When I walk towards the counter to get my bag he pulls me close to him and kisses me on my lips. It is heavenly. I pull back “I need to go to work so you need to stop distracting me.” He just smiles and lets me go.
We both walk to the door and he climbs on his bike and I get into my car, I wave and then drive off in the direction of the factory. I think about Tully all the way to work, he makes me smile, but I feel something at the back of my head that niggles me, he seems too good to be true. I don’t like that feeling.
At work Helena and Joey ask me questions all day. What did you cook? Did he like it? Did he stay the night? I’m exhausted by the time I finish up for the day. I still can’t find the right flavour for the new chocolate and it is driving me insane.
I am ready at 7o’clock and waiting for the sweet hum indicating Tully’s arrival. When I hear it I can feel the vibrations from inside the house and I don’t know if they are from the bike or from the thought of sitting on the bike and holding him tight.
When he knocks at the door I am ready for him and open the door with a smile on my face. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going or is it a surprise?” I ask him.
It’s going to be a surprise, they always say the anticipation makes it so much better.” He smiles as he kisses me gently on the lips. He puts the helmet on my head and I climb onto his bike. He climbs on in front of me and I enjoy the purr of the engine beneath me as I lean forward and wrap my arms around him, tightly.
We weave in and out heading into the city, yet again. It is dark and the lights are beautiful, they look like stars twinkling in the distance. He parks his bike in the College of Surgeons car park and we walk through the shopping centre to the top of Grafton Street, he takes my hand and then he stops. He tells me to look down the street again at the lights. “It’s more beautiful than it was the other night” I say.
“That’s what happens when you open your heart to Christmas Nollaig. Everything looks different when you have the magic of Christmas in your heart.” We stand there for a few minutes looking at the lights and then he tugs on my hand. “Come on your chariot awaits.” He smiles and we walk along hand in hand until we come to a horse and carriage, I look up at him with many questions in my eyes. He chuckles “Yes we are going on one of these. Have you been on one before?”
“No, I’ve seen them everywhere but I’ve never been on one. They’re for the tourists not for us locals.”
He climbs up into the carriage, reaches down and takes my hand to help me up. When he has pulled me into the carriage, he takes the blanket which is laid on the chair, and places it over our laps and tucks it in under my legs first and then his own. “Tonight Nollaig just pretend we are tourists. Let’s look at Dublin at Christmastime from a tourist’s eye.”
I take his hand and look up at him. “I’ll try, I’ll try.” All the time I am thinking that I know Dublin and this is not going to be fun. It’s cold and dark, how can we see anything in the dark?
“Patience Nollaig, patience!” He smiles at me and then leans over to the driver to tell him which route to take. When he sits back down he tucks us in again and takes my hand.
We jolt forward as the horse starts to move and pull away from the curb. The air is gently blowing in our faces as we clip clop down the road and around Stephens Green. There is a lamp in the carriage so that we can see the sites as we travel along the road. The driver takes us past St Patricks Cathedral which is lit up outside, there is a Christmas tree outside which looks really pretty with it’s sparkly lights and baubles. The driver then continues along his path past so many Christmas displays. Then he takes us to Parnell Square where he stops so that we can get out and watch the Moving Crib.
Tully gets out of the carriage first and then he holds out his hands to help me down, as I go to step down the first step he wraps his hands around my waist and lifts me down. I giggle.
He takes my hand and walks me over to the Moving Crib inside the St Martin Apostolate Church. “This has been described in various newspapers and radios over the years as the best free show for children over the festive period and one of the nicest sights in Dublin. This shows the real meaning of Christmas, Nollaig, it’s easy to forget why we really celebrate Christmas. It’s not about the giving and receiving of gifts, it’s about the birth of new life and hope for the future.”
I take a few minutes to watch the Crib, it goes all the way back to Adam and Eve and then finishes after the Crib scene with the young Jesus teaching the Doctors in the Temple. There are over one hundred figurines which move to tell these stories.
I can feel a tear come to my eye and I turn to face Tully. When he looks down and see the tears starting to fill up my eyes he pulls me close. “Did I do something wrong bringing you here Mo Mhuirnín?”He wipes the tears from my eyes and kisses each of them.
I try to remember my gaelic to work out what he called me, it doesn’t come to me because too many memories are flooding into my mind. “My Mam and Dad used to bring me and Bree here every year to see the Moving Crib. When we were small we loved it, it had so much meaning and then as we got older we found it boring. When Tyler and Elena were born we all started going again as a family, Mam and Dad included. I haven’t been here since they died Tully. It hurts so much.”
He pulls me close and wraps his arms around me tight. “I just wanted to share some of the magical Christmases that I’ve had and I’m glad it’s bringing back these memories Nollaig. You need to face Christmas and everything it means. It’s the only way to bring the magic back Mo Mhuirnín.” He kisses me on the head and then moves away and takes my hand to lead me back to the carriage.
When we are back inside and under the blanket I lean my head onto his shoulder and sigh really loudly. “I used to love watching that Crib clanking and turning and the stories from the bible being played out. It opens the first week in November and we used to always go down to see it the first week in December, this was always the start of our Christmas.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in as tight as can be. “Tell me about your parents Nollaig. Tell me what they made you feel like at Christmas.”
“Mam was beautiful, she was an Irish Rose. White skin, red curly hair and a firey temper.”
“A bit like you then” he says laughing.
“Yeah I look like my Mam and Bree looks like Dad. They loved Christmas, they were both like kids and couldn’t wait to decorate the house and put the tree up. I don’t even do that now, Bree doesn’t bring the kids around at Christmas time because they don’t understand the memories it brings. I don’t go to them at Christmas time, I tend to stay at home on my own and celebrate my birthday. They want me to go to them this year and I’m thinking about it because the kids are asking, they know I don’t like Christmas but they want me to play with their toys. It’s hard but I know I need to think about it.”
“It’s good that you are thinking about it. That shows that you are becoming more open to Christmas. I must be d
oing a good job.” He leans over and kisses me on the head again.
I hadn’t even noticed the horse and carriage had been moving until we were going through the Pheonix Park. “Look Nollaig there are reindeers, can you see them?” Tully is pointing out into the middle of the road.
I look around me and I can see some of the reindeers on the road and some are standing in the park grounds. They look magical standing there looking at us as we clip clop past. I can feel the ice around my heart start to melt, this brings back memories as well. I gasp as we have slowed down and one of the reindeers approaches the carriage.
“Shh don’t talk just whisper” Tully says as he reaches out to the driver and takes a small bag from him. I look at the bag and then at him, he has a bag of cut up pieces of apple. “Hold out your hand with a piece of apple in it, lean over the edge of the carriage but move slowly Nollaig.”
I can feel my heart start to beat faster as I lean over the carriage with the apple in my hand. The reindeer must smell the apple as he turns his head and takes the couple of steps it takes to reach my hand. He then looks me in the eye, his big beady eyes seem to stare at me, and then he takes the apple straight from my hand. I gasp when he does and I hold my breath so that I don’t frighten him away. It is a truly heart stopping moment. When he has taken the pieces of apple, he steps away from the carriage and starts to walk away, slowly.
I feel Tully’s hand on my shoulder and then I let out the breath that I was still holding. “That was amazing, thank you for bringing me here.” I say as I turn to face him and kiss him on the lips. “I was really lucky the day I met you.” I sit back down and lean into him as he puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in tight.
“Not as lucky as I was” he says as he kisses me on the head.
The horse and carriage starts moving again and we start trotting back into town, we pull up in Stephens Green and again Tully climbs out first and then lifts me down to the pavement. He pays the driver and then he takes my hand. “I’m guessing you didn’t have time to eat tonight, how do you fancy a hot jacket potato from that guy over there?”
“I’d love one” I say looking at the old fashion jacket potato van that stands in Stephens Green after everyone has been clubbing. They really taste so good and you can choose your favourite toppings too. I go for the chilli as I like strong flavours, Tully goes for the baked bean topping.
We walk up and down Grafton Street talking and eating, when we get to the bottom I mention that the Molly Malone statue seems to have been stolen. He laughs. “No it’s just been moved around the corner, come on let’s see if we can find it. They are making way for the Luas which will be coming over this direction soon.”
I feel a bit of a fool but laugh and we walk around a few corners until we find Molly Malone standing there without a care in the world. We sit on her base and finish our jacket potatoes. When we are finished he starts singing Molly Malone:
In Dublin’s Fair City
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
As she wheel’d her barrow
Through Streets broad and narrow
Crying cockles and mussels alive, alive o!
I laugh as he’s trying to swing me around and around. When he stops spinning me around I say “Thank you Tully for trying to change my mind about Christmas. I’m not sure it’s going to work but it sure is fun trying.”
He smiles at me. “Well we still have another seven days left before Christmas for me to change your mind. Talking about other days, tomorrow night I’m playing a gig in Whelan’s with the band. Will you come along and watch us? I’d love you to see us in action again. The guys are bringing their girlfriends and I was hoping that you would come along too.” He looks to the ground and I could swear he is moving from one foot to the other. He looks nervous, he never looks nervous.
“Are you ok? You look nervous.”
He laughs. “It’s different me taking you out and showing you Christmas around Dublin just the two of us, but I don’t want to frighten you away and I really want you to come and watch me.”
I laugh at him. “Of course I want to come and watch you play. I promise not to interrupt you this time. You have done so much for me these last few days I want to do something for you too.”
He smiles a very wide smile, he literally beams from ear to ear. “Thank you so much, I can’t wait.” We are back at the car park now and we climb on board the bike. It only takes fifteen minutes to get back to my house and when I climb off I notice he doesn’t get off the bike.
“Are you not coming in tonight?” I say a little sadly, I enjoy his company.
“Not tonight, you need a night off and a good night’s sleep, tomorrow is going to be a late one.” He smiles and pulls me close so that he can kiss me. “I’ll miss you though, especially your kisses in the morning.”
“Me too, me too.” I say and then walk to my front door, open it, turn the lights on then wave goodbye. When I close the door I hear him start the bike and drive off.
I climb into bed and have lots of dreams about the Moving Crib and Mam and Dad.
Day 6
Thursday 18th December
When I wake up I look in the bed behind me and see that it’s empty, I feel disappointed for a couple of minutes but then I smile to myself thinking of last night. It was such a magical night and yet again I can’t believe that I found Tully and how he is prepared to try and change my mind about Christmas. I won’t admit it to him but he is starting to change my mind, however, I’m not sure that he will totally turn me around. I still have Christmas Eve, the anniversary of Mam and Dad dying, and my birthday on Christmas Day to get through.
I go to work and when Helena and Joey walk in I’m yawning. “Looks like someone had a good night last night” Joey says, laughing.
I tell them about last night and when I look up they are both leaning across the table with their heads in their hands. “He sounds so dreamy Nollaig, where can I get myself one just like him?” Helena says with a big smile on her face.
“I don’t think there is another one like him, but his band is going to be doing a gig in Whelan’s tonight if you guys want to come along, then I can introduce you.” I say thinking that it’s a great idea because then I won’t be on my own.
“Sounds like a plan” Joey says “I don’t have any plans for tonight.”
“Me neither. I like the sound of that. We will meet you at 8pm in Whelan’s then.”
The day passes really slowly and I think it’s because I am so looking forward to seeing Tully tonight and also because I can’t get this new flavour the way I want it.
When I get home I have a message on my phone from Tully:
“Hey hope your day was good, I missed you this morning”
“Me too! The day dragged on and on, I just wanted to get home. I am so excited about seeing you singing again.”
“Thank you I can’t wait for you to be watching me. I’ll be over to collect you about 7.30pm if that’s ok. I’ll be in the car because I have to bring some equipment. Don’t be disappointed I don’t have the bike.”
“Ha ha I don’t mind what we go in at all. My friends from work are coming along too, hope that’s ok.”
“Yeah that’s fine, I can’t wait to meet your friends too. See you in a while xx”
“Yeah see you soon xx”
I get dressed smiling at myself, I can’t help it because Tully just makes me smile. I don’t get too dressed up because Whelan’s is a gigging place and not a fashion parade so I put on my skinny black jeans and a Rolling Stones t-shirt. I leave my red, curly hair to hang loose down my back, I add some knee high black boots and a dab of lipstick and I’m back downstairs waiting for Tully to turn up.
Bang on the dot of 7.30pm he knocks on the door and I open it and when I do I gasp, he looks so gorgeous. He has skinny black jeans on too and a t-shirt that is tight and shows off all his muscles, wow just wow. He kisses me and hugs me tight. �
��Hello, you look gorgeous” he says when he pulls away to look at me.
We leave the house and jump into his car and drive into town. He parks the car outside Whelan’s and I help him to carry his equipment inside. When everything is inside, he introduces me to his band mates:
“This is Animal, he plays the drums. His real name is Josh but we never call him that.” Tully says laughing. I reach out and shake his hand, he just pulls me into a bear hug.
“Sorry if I gave you the evil eye on Saturday, I wasn’t feeling the best” he says.
“It’s ok, I kind of made a fool of myself anyway.”
Tully moves over to the next guy stood there and introduces him. “This is Paddy, he plays the guitar.” Again I hold my hand out and he pulls me in for a hug too.
Then Tully moves over again. “This is Stevie, he plays the keyboards.” This time I move forward to hug him and he smiles at me and hugs me tight.
We all start chatting about the gig and I look around for Helena and Joey, I see them at the bar so I go over to them and hug them both. “Oh my god Nollaig, that is a very good looking group there, I can’t wait to hear them play.” Helena says.
When we turn around to look at the group we see some girls going up to them, it must be their girlfriends. Tully looks at me and waves me over, he introduces me to Karen, Becky and Layla. They seem really nice and I wave for Helena and Joey to come over and introduce them to everyone. We find a table to the side of the stage so that we can watch them without taking away anyone else’s view.
The band get up and Tully says “Good evening everyone are you ready for us to sing for you?”
The crowd goes mad with shouts of “yes we are.”
They open their slot by singing “Boys are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzy. I know I heard them in Grafton Street but they are much better tonight, inside this pub. After about an hour and a half they stop for a break and come down to sit with us. We have drinks ready for them and Tully asks me “so what did you think? I noticed you didn’t throw yourself at me this time” he laughs.