Explicit Memory

by Scarlett Finn

  Flick scrutinised the exit until Rushe blocked her view by clamping his hands on the footboard on either side of her, trapping her against the bed.

  ‘He hurt you.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘But I’ve been hit in the face before, more so since I met you.’ Rushe wasn’t ready to joke, and he bared his teeth in frustration at her request that he release her attacker. ‘If you hurt him, Silver will be mad, maybe Mercier too. It won’t do anything for Serendipity, and it won’t do anything for us.’

  ‘You are my woman.’

  ‘And I’ll still be your woman no matter how many bruises I get,’ she said. ‘A few scars won’t change how you feel about me.’

  ‘You pissed him off. That mouth, my mouth, you keep it shut.’

  ‘Getting him angry, fighting my corner, it buys time. If I hadn’t done that, you’d have walked in on a much worse scene. I told him you’d rip his dick off it he tried to touch me with it.’

  ‘I’ll rip it off now,’ he snarled, and moved to turn, but Flick caught his ribs.

  ‘Forget him. I’ve been without you enough today. I was worried.’

  ‘But you stayed here.’

  ‘Because I didn’t know what I’d be walking into if I came downstairs,’ she said, caressing his body. ‘I told you that I trust you.’

  ‘You’re vulnerable here,’ he said, as though trying to sort through scenarios in his mind.

  ‘I’m safe, Rushe, I’m here. We’re together. Please tell me you won’t leave me again tonight.’

  His hand landed on her head, and when he stroked down, she smiled. ‘You fought him.’

  ‘You always sound so amazed when you say things like that,’ she said, ducking down to retrieve her shoe from the floor. ‘From now on I’m wearing stilettos everywhere we go. I think he’d have thought twice about the belt if I’d put one of those in his ear.’

  ‘Shoes,’ he grumbled, and took the footwear away from her to toss it aside.

  Reaching over her, he hauled up the duffle to open the top. Sticking his hand inside, he pulled it out a couple of seconds later to present her with his pocketknife.

  ‘I suppose I should’ve looked for that before they came in.’

  ‘You arm yourself,’ he said. ‘Do not let this leave your side. You take it with you everywhere, and do not hesitate to use it. I’ll clean up the mess for you.’

  ‘How romantic,’ she said, sliding the knife out of his hand. ‘With this knife I’ll thee butcher.’

  ‘You don’t have to kill him,’ Rushe said. ‘Just maim him enough to slow him down and leave a trail of blood. Give me a path to follow so that I can go and finish the job for you.’

  ‘Oh you’re such a sweet talker,’ she said, stretching her arms up to his shoulders. As she was about to pull herself closer, something caught the corner of her eye.

  Pushing him aside, she yanked open the duffel and touched the fabric that had drawn her attention. Fingering the material, her eyes misted and she took them to Rushe, who remained stoic.

  ‘Rushe,’ she whispered.

  ‘You love it,’ he shrugged.

  ‘You hate it, because it reminds you of how we met,’ she said, pulling the shirt out of the bag.

  Since she had been carted out of the Waterside Hotel on their last job, Flick hadn’t presumed to see any of her things again. But virtually everything they owned was in that hotel, in the building where Rushe almost died.

  ‘I sent Eric in that night to get everything. There was sensitive information in that room.’

  No there wasn’t, Rushe would never be so careless as to leave anything personally sensitive lying around. The relevant mission paperwork had been discovered – and most likely destroyed – by those it incriminated.

  Sliding her arms into the sleeves of the red and black shirt that drowned her, Flick brought the crinkled material to her nose, tucking it behind the collar. This was the shirt that Rushe had provided for her to sleep in the night that they met.

  Recalling that offering of comfort warmed her, but Rushe didn’t like the reminder of how weak she was then. It only highlighted to him all of the things that he’d done to her, what they’d been through, and how he’d changed her. Flick would thank him for every one of those things, but Rushe didn’t always feel the same way.

  ‘The idea wasn’t to hide your body,’ Rushe said, trying to push the shirt off her shoulders, but she stole his hands.

  ‘I want you to make love to me.’

  ‘Wearing the shirt?’

  Flick had to smile at the sneer her lover bestowed, odd that such a mundane suggestion would be a step too far towards kinky for him.

  ‘I didn’t mean that,’ she said. ‘I want to ignore the noise, and the people, and the danger—‘

  ‘It’s the danger that gets you off.’

  ‘You get me off.’

  The slope of his brow told her that his thought wasn’t far away from hers; Rushe and danger were synonymous.

  ‘I only care about your body and mine,’ she said.

  ‘Naked. Now.’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  Usually the experience of showering together was lengthy, luxurious, and eventful. This morning hadn’t been like that. The shower stall was barely big enough for one, so after waiting for Rushe to wash, Flick had been left alone to finish her own bathing. On drawing back the shower curtain, she observed Rushe leaning against the door with his arms folded across his broad chest, and his obvious grump made her smile.

  It could be because they hadn’t had sex this morning. More likely, the reminder of their first adventure caused his grouchy mood; he’d had to stand guard for her like this then too. Rushe didn’t trust the men here any more than he’d trusted the men in that shack. She was vulnerable just because she was a woman, and the only one here that she’d seen yet.

  Theo Silver was supposed to be a pimp, but she hadn’t seen any indication of sex for sale when they arrived. Perhaps if she’d been at the party last night she might have witnessed evidence of it.

  Back in the bedroom, Rushe threw clothes at her as she combed her hair, so she knew they had somewhere to be, because it wasn’t like him to choose her wardrobe. Finding out that he’d had Eric go back and retrieve their things brought a lump to her throat.

  Other things were still in the trunk of their car, because she’d heard them rattling about. But he’d put that shirt in their primary duffel.

  Thinking about it made her smile, and as Rushe stuffed everything back into the bag she sauntered over and pulled herself up to sit on the bed foot rail. Leaning in, she kissed his tee-shirt covered shoulder, which caused him to pause.

  ‘We’ve got work to do,’ he grumbled, and hooked the loops of the duffel.

  ‘Do you think kissing your shoulder is my way of seducing you?’

  Slithering her hand around his arm, Flick reached for his belt buckle, ready to prove just how she would approach him if that had been her motivation. Rushe shunted the bag away, snatched her arm, and skimmed her ass along the rail. If he hadn’t caught her knees and clamped them against his hips then the manoeuvre would have caused her to lose her balance.

  ‘Get your guard up,’ he growled. ‘Don’t think about sex.’

  ‘I wasn’t thinking about sex,’ she said, tucking her fingers into his pockets. ‘I was thinking about love.’

  ‘What kind of love?’ he asked, tipping his chin down.

  Obviously, he didn’t believe her intentions were innocent. ‘Hmm, I’m alone in a room with my boyfriend, whom I have pledged my heart and my body to, what kind of love could I be thinking about?’

  ‘You show interest in getting fucked, and someone will take you up on it.’

  As much as she knew he liked to warn her, to scare her into submission, Flick had to sigh. ‘You’re the only one here, who else is going to take me up on it, the bed bugs?’

  ‘Thought you weren’t thinking about sex.’

  So now he thought he’d caught her out, but Flick la
ughed. ‘Lover, not that I’m saying I was, but I’m allowed to fantasise about your body, about having sex with you. Does it make you feel violated to know that I do that?’

  ‘You’re messing around, and we’re in a serious situation.’

  ‘Yes,’ Flick said, attempting to straighten her face. ‘Yes, a man and a woman, in love, alone in a bedroom, it’s very terrifying... hold me.’

  He grumbled out and nudged her shoulder, sending her onto the bed. Moments of safety were rare, and while the big picture was oppressive for them at the moment Flick couldn’t let him forget that they had each other. It was important to appreciate these times that they did share, because they had no idea what was on the horizon. So she let herself laugh, but when he turned on her, melancholy saturated his expression.

  ‘You trust me too much,’ he muttered.

  Sobering, Flick clambered to her knees. ‘Don’t do that, Lover. Ok, I’m sorry. You’re right. You don’t have to push me away, and you don’t have to do anything stupid.’

  ‘You’re joking around like we’re on vacation.’

  ‘I love you, Rushe, and it makes me happy. I’m sorry if I let that show sometimes.’

  ‘Don’t do that, don’t do that snippy thing,’ he said, approaching the end of the bed again.

  ‘Me? You’re the one telling me that I trust you too much. Tell me why I shouldn’t trust you? You’ve died for me, Rushe.’

  ‘You want me to do it again?’

  ‘No!’

  ‘Then get your fucking guard up!’ Slamming his hands on the foot bar, he loomed over her, pinning her under that glare.

  ‘You’re right, I’m sorry.’ When she relaxed she wasn’t just risking her own life, she was risking his.

  Sometimes the joy of love she felt with him overshadowed the depth of the dilemma they were in. Pushing her shoulders back, she was about to slump when he grabbed her chin and jerked her upward.

  Clashing his mouth onto hers, Rushe showed his own love for her in the intensity of that kiss. His lips worked hers; reminding her of the connection that they shared. Even if he wasn’t as comfortable languishing in it as she was, he still felt that she was an extension of him.

  On releasing her, he shoved her backward to her haunches, and when she noticed the curl of his lips as he rotated away, she recognised that he hadn’t rid himself of the frustration of the morning.

  He retrieved the duffel from the bed and hefted it to his shoulder. Bringing their possessions with them could indicate that they weren’t coming back here, or it could simply mean that he didn’t trust anyone here, which wasn’t exactly a news flash.

  Grabbing Flick’s arm, he dragged her off the bed and pulled her toward the door. To free up a hand he stuck hers into his back jeans pocket, and she knew to follow on when he took them out of the room, down the hall and the stairs, and into the room with the pool table.

  Silver was in the same chair he had been last night, but Rushe didn’t stop to talk to him, or to the other four guys occupying the space.

  ‘Hold up!’ Silver said when they were about to enter the kitchen. ‘Take Cody with you.’

  ‘Not a chance.’

  But the man, who had shown them to their lodgings the night before, came in their direction, indicating that choice apparently wasn’t part of the deal.

  ‘You let him keep an eye on things. You might need backup.’

  Flick wasn’t naive enough to believe she could be tremendously useful combat support for Rushe. But she didn’t think this guy, Cody, would be looking out for the best interests of anyone except himself.

  ‘Whatever.’

  Rushe didn’t argue, he went for the door, and he took them out to the beaten up yard where the car was parked. After tossing the duffel into the trunk, he opened the back passenger door. Flick wasn’t going to question him, but he dropped his mouth to her hair when he turned her to face the car.

  ‘I don’t trust him behind you. Seatbelt.’

  She hadn’t shown Rushe that she had the knife in her pocket, but she did. He’d given it to her and told her to keep it on her, and that was what she planned to do. Propelling her forward into the backseat, Rushe closed the door and took his own place in the car.

  By putting her here, in this position, he was not only protecting her from attack, but he was situating her in place to protect him if need be.

  Flick knew Rushe’s forethought well enough to recognise when it was in play. If this Cody person tried anything while Rushe was driving, then his options were limited. In the back, she had optimum placement to defend them.

  Rushe put a hand to Cody’s headrest to reverse the car, and as he slowed in the angle, he glanced at her. She didn’t smile now because Flick knew he was checking her guard, so she made it clear that she understood and was prepared to do whatever was needed.

  Chapter Five

  ‘You gotta be careful with this guy,’ Cody said, having spoken for most of the nearly half hour-long drive. ‘Teague has got a lot of swagger but he’s smart too.’

  ‘Are you afraid of him?’ Flick asked, because she knew Rushe would say nothing.

  She herself had been guilty of rabbiting on while they travelled. Rushe told her after the fact that it drove him crazy, but he actually never complained as it was happening. Then again, he never switched off, never stopped gathering information. The chances were that he could probably recite back to her more than half of the things she’d said, though she wouldn’t be able to recall them herself.

  ‘I ain’t afraid of him,’ Cody said, peering around at her.

  The young man had a very expressive mouth, his lips constantly moved when he spoke, more than they needed to. But the quirk only made Flick like him. This man was human, and so often in their line of work the players were anything but.

  ‘Other people are?’ Flick asked, not prepared to question any gangster’s front – human or not.

  ‘Hell, yeah! How do you think he got away with it for so long?’

  Flick didn’t know what he’d got away with, but if Silver was sending Rushe to this guy’s door, then there had to be a reason.

  ‘Has he had other... visits?’

  ‘Yeah, Silver sends guys round all the time, Teague hasn’t coughed up yet.’

  So Flick guessed this was about money. If it was Rushe’s job to scare this person, then he would be capable. She just didn’t know how far that would mean he had to go. Yesterday, he had walked into that stucco building with a gun and hadn’t had the time to talk to anyone. Teague could be about to receive the same treatment.

  ‘Have you visited him?’

  ‘Me? That ain’t my job,’ Cody said. ‘I—‘

  ‘Quiet,’ Rushe said.

  Cody stalled, looked from her to Rushe, and then let his eyes slink forward as he dissolved into his seat to face the windshield. Flick flopped back. She hadn’t been trying to extract information, as far as she was concerned they were having a conversation. Having Rushe trust her to protect them one minute, and then prevent her from having information in the next, was vexing. But she couldn’t argue with him in front of an audience.

  So she let the rest of the journey pass quietly, but there wasn’t much of it. Rushe pulled into the parking lot of a narrow apartment complex and turned off the engine. When he’d been shooting without hesitation he’d left the engine running, so Flick figured this had to be a different scenario.

  ‘If you bring the chick, he’ll definitely fuck her,’ Cody said to Rushe.

  ‘You want to bet,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Your call, man.’ Cody got out of the car, but stayed next to it and lit up a cigarette to smoke as he waited for Rushe.

  ‘You’re gonna stay here,’ Rushe said to her.

  ‘You’re going to give me a line about keeping look out or something,’ she said. ‘You can trust me, Rushe.’

  ‘I don’t know what we’re walking into. He could have ten armed guys up there.’

  Shirking her sulk, Flick bounced to the edg
e of her seat to lean between the front two. ‘Then you’re staying here with me. I don’t want you walking into a situation like that without someone you trust... I can be useful to you.’

  ‘You are.’

  His focus remained out the windshield, and she knew how he liked to maintain control. Most of his life was lived behind that mask, and letting her peek beneath still pained him.

  ‘For more than sex... You don’t think I would take a bullet for you?’

  Now his glare snapped around to her. ‘You don’t ever talk like that. Stay.’

  At least she’d made him angry, Flick thought, when he slammed out of the car and marched off across the mass of concrete between their vehicle and the structure, with Cody scurrying to keep up. Puffing out a breath, she sat back and drummed her fingernails on the upholstery.

  Everything in her wanted to follow. She wanted to be with him, she wanted to be at his side. But she had told him that he could do the thug stuff alone. She wasn’t scary, and she wouldn’t want to undermine his intimidation. Also, the last thing she needed to be for Rushe was a liability; they’d been there too many times before.

  So letting herself quietly seethe over the fact that she had once again been shunned, Flick advised herself that her attitude was petulant. She was pissed off because he was out there, without her, and he might need her. But she would be useless in a fight, they both knew she’d only be a distraction.

  Calmly slowing her breaths, Flick reminded herself of Rushe’s strengths. He could get himself out of tight jams; he’d lived a troubled and dangerous life long before they’d met.

  About fifteen minutes passed and having succeeded in calming herself, Flick began to worry. Her anxiety this time wasn’t about missing out, or over any trust issues that might exist between them. Now her concern was what she would do if they didn’t return.

  Flick had no contacts, and she had no phone, so if something happened she couldn’t call for back up and she certainly couldn’t call the cops. Pondering what options may exist, she heard a shout, deep and masculine, but like a scream.