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by David Finchley

  It took all of Nathan’s willpower not to strike her.

  ‘Get out,’ he hissed. ‘Get out you miserable excuse for a wife. You’re a cunt. In the future, if you want to contact me, do it through my lawyer. Now piss off.’

  Sylvia recoiled. She had never seen Nathan so angry. She couldn’t understand his reaction. She was about to try and explain her actions again but thought better of it. She stood up and let herself out of the apartment.

  Nathan stayed seated for a long time. He felt his head was going to explode. After an hour or so he felt a little calmer, shaved, showered and dressed. He took the lift down to the car park, got into his car and drove off, at a high speed.

  ACT 5

  YOU LIED TO ME

  The drive from Nathan’s flat to the Eureka Tower took at least ten minutes, more if the traffic was heavy. Nathan did it in seven. On the way he called Cassie from the car to say he was on his way over. He didn’t ask if he could come, he just told her. Cassie could detect from his voice that something was wrong but did not ask.

  She let him into the car park and Nathan stood in the lift lobby repeatedly jabbing at the ‘up’ button until the lift arrived.

  Cassie opened the door as soon as he knocked.

  ‘You lied to me, you lied to me all along.’ He spat the words out at her. ‘Bitch, bloody prostitute bitch.’

  Cassie looked as if she had been slapped.

  ‘Sit down Nathan. Tell me what this is about.’

  ‘I won’t sit down,’ he replied and started pacing around her lounge room.

  ‘Nathan. What on earth is going on? I’ve never seen you like this, please, calm down, talk to me.’

  ‘Sylvia came to see me this morning,’ he said.

  He headed for the bar and poured himself half a glass of scotch. He did not offer Cassie one. He then sat down, drank the scotch in two long gulps. Cassie’s eyes were welling up with tears. She began to sob quietly. She sat opposite Nathan, tried to take his hand but he pushed her away.

  ‘I’ve been meaning to tell you for weeks. I was scared. I didn’t want to spoil what we have.’

  ‘What we have?’ Nathan’s voice became louder.

  ‘Tell me Cassie, just what do we have? You were paid to fuck me. Just like all those other men paid you. Although this time it was a woman who paid. My wife, with my money.’

  ‘That was over two months ago Nathan, I admit it. At first it was just another job. A little kinky, I thought at the time but just a job. Yes, I was paid, but only the once. The last two months we have been together had nothing to do with that.’

  ‘How do I know that? How do I know that Sylvia has not been paying you all along? I wouldn’t put it past that bitch. And using my money.’

  ‘You’re angry Nathan. I understand that. But I think you do know. It was just that one time. I swear, you have to believe me.’

  The half glass of scotch on an empty stomach was beginning to have its effect and Nathan calmed down. He was still trying to process the whole thing. And then he welled up and a moment later they were both crying. Cassie moved next to Nathan and put her arms around him. He did not push her away. Her tears streaked her eye makeup and small, black rivulets were flowing down her cheeks. She made no attempt to wipe them but kept her arms tightly around Nathan.

  ‘I love you,’ she whispered in his ear. ‘I think I began to love you even on that first night. That first night when I was getting paid. I just didn’t know it then. Didn’t plan for it. Didn’t expect it. I know what you must think of me but I can’t undo what I did. Is there any way you could put that first night out of your mind and focus on the last two months? I don’t mean right now. But some time soon.’

  No reply. Cassie was holding Nathan as tightly as she could as if this would physically transmit her love to him. Nathan stopped crying but still did not speak. Cassie remained silent too. They sat like that for the next ten minutes, Cassie holding him tightly and Nathan staring into space, mute.

  Eventually Nathan pulled her arms away from him. He did this gently. He turned to face Cassie.

  ‘I don’t know what to think Cassie. I want to believe you. I desperately want to but I can’t think clearly and the scotch isn’t helping. Do you mind if I lie down on your bed for a few minutes?’

  ‘Not at all, go on, you know where it is. I’ll be here waiting.’

  Nathan emerged an hour later, bleary eyed and groggy. Cassie was sitting on the couch in exactly the same spot as she had been when he had left. Nathan sat opposite her.

  ‘I think I should go home but I don’t think I’m in a fit state to drive. Is it okay if I leave my car here and call a taxi?’

  ‘Stay.’

  ‘I think it’s better if I leave.’

  ‘Stay, please. I’ll make us some lunch. You look a wreck Nathan. I know you haven’t eaten today. Let me make you an omelette. You like my omelettes.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll stay,’ he said wearily. ‘I haven’t got the energy to argue.’ And with that he lay down on the couch and closed his eyes.

  Cassie went to the kitchen where she took out the ingredients for the omelette. Nathan liked it with ham, cheese and mushrooms. She turned on the coffee machine and busied herself for the next twenty minutes or so preparing lunch.

  She came back into the lounge room carrying the tray laden with two plates, an omelette on each and two cups of coffee and assorted cutlery. Nathan sat up as Cassie put the tray down on the coffee table and sat opposite Nathan on the other couch.

  ‘Smells great,’ he said. ‘And coffee too, I need it.’

  They both ate in silence. Nathan polished off his omelette, Cassie left half of hers. They both drank their coffee and Cassie took the tray back to the kitchen. She returned to the lounge room to find Nathan sitting on the couch staring straight ahead.

  ‘Feeling better?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, I am actually. Thanks Cassie.’

  ‘Is it okay if I give you a kiss?’

  Nathan stared at her and then smiled.

  ‘You have my permission to do so, Cassandra.’

  Cassie moved over and sat next to him on the couch. She started with a peck on the cheek and then another and another and before long they were both lying on the couch, kissing, hugging and crying.

  ‘I love you’ they said in unison.

  ACT 6

  IN LOVE

  Over the next three months, Nathan often thought back to that Sunday morning. To how close he came to losing the person who he now realised was the love of his life. He and Cassie often talked about it and could even joke about it. They even joked about the night of their first meeting. Nathan told her that all things considered, he felt she owed him two thousand dollars. This became a standing joke between them.

  Nathan had told the children that he was finally seeing someone. Matthew was happy for him but Karen less so. She was still convinced that ‘Mum would soon come back to her senses’ and return to him.

  When they asked her name, he told them that it was Sandra. He did not give a surname. He did not want Sylvia finding out the truth. He was sure she would make trouble. When Matthew asked him when he could meet Sandra, Nathan said soon and left it at that.

  Around the office his partners and employees saw a new Nathan. He had a spring in his step and a smile for everyone.

  ‘He must have someone’ was the office gossip. Nathan told his two partners that he was dating a woman called Sandra, no surname was offered and yes, she was very nice and yes, it was becoming serious.

  Inevitably Sylvia came to hear about Sandra and when she telephoned Nathan to enquire, he cut her short. Yes, he was dating a woman called Sandra. Her surname was none of her business, nor was anything else about her. He hung up before Sylvia could ask another question.

  Nathan spoke to his parents once a week without fail, usually on a Sunday morning. He would visit them as often as he could. He made sure it was at least every two weeks which wasn’t often enough for them. It was the best he could
do. He told his father during one of those phone conversations that he was seeing someone. His father’s first question of course was ‘is she Jewish?’ When Nathan said no, he could detect the disappointment in his father’s voice. His father did not ask her name and Nathan did not volunteer it.

  Cassie and Nathan spent every night together. They each kept their apartments and would stay in one or the other together. They each had enough of their personal effects in each other’s apartment so that they could stay in either, depending on the circumstances.

  Cassie was so relieved that she hadn’t lost Nathan that she promised him she would retire from work, effectively almost immediately. She had three or four appointments that she had to honour and Nathan did not argue.

  She sold the apartment in St Kilda Rd, her place of work as Nathan called it. He never saw it, didn’t want to. Cassie did very well out of the sale and with Alfred Martin’s help, he stayed on her financial adviser, (pro bono), and she invested the money very well.

  Now that she was not working, Cassie had more time to travel. She had never been to Russia and began to plan a trip in the European summer. This coincided with tax time and Nathan said that it would be impossible for him to go. She was disappointed but she understood. Nathan reassured her that he did not mind her going without him. He did insist that she not travel alone and helped her book an Abercrombie and Kent tour, first class all the way. He promised they would take the next trip together, wherever she wanted to go.

  Nathan was happier than he had been for years. Perhaps happier than he’d ever been. He found in Cassie a true partner, a soul mate. Something he had never had with Sylvia in the thirty five years they were married. He assumed that Cassie was happy too. She said she was and he only had to look at her smiling face to see that she was truly happy.

  One Sunday morning just after breakfast, coffee for Nathan and muesli for Cassie, she said quite casually,

  ‘What do you think of us having a baby Nathan?’

  ‘Where did that come from?’ thought Nathan. Cassie had never even hinted that she might want a child. Nathan would be fifty eight in a few weeks and with two adult children, he had certainly never given the matter any thought.

  ‘I don’t know Cassie. I haven’t really thought about it. If that’s what you want …’

  Cassie did not let him finish.

  ‘I don’t know if that’s what I want. I’ve never wanted it before. In fact I decided long ago that I didn’t want any children. But now, I’m not so sure. I’ve never loved anyone before and I’ve been thinking maybe us having a child together would complete us. I’m still young enough and you are definitely virile enough.’

  Nathan’s head was spinning. A child, a baby. It was the furthest thing from his mind. Cassie had no children and if that is what she wanted, how could he deny her. Does that mean they would have to get married. That could be complicated. He and Sylvia were not divorced, neither of them had bothered doing anything about that. It would have to be a civil service. Cassie wasn’t Jewish and he doubted that she would ever consider converting. His father would definitely not be happy.

  ‘It’s just a thought Nathan. I don’t expect you to say yes or no straight away. I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I wanted your reaction.’

  ‘Cassie, I love you. If that’s what you want, then I want it too. When do you want to start? I’m ready now,’ he said with a smile.

  ‘I appreciate that Nathan. But not quite now. And I’m not sure that is what I really want. But thanks for being so supportive. If I decide to go ahead, I’ll definitely keep your offer in mind,’ she said, smiling even more broadly.

  The subject did not come up again until about a month later when one evening as Nathan was drifting off to sleep and Cassie whispered, ‘Nathan, are you awake?’

  ‘I am now,’ he replied, sleepily.

  ‘I’m off the pill Nathan. I hope you meant what you said a few weeks ago. Are you ready to make a baby?’

  ‘You mean now, this minute?’

  ‘No silly, not right now but soon. I’ll be ovulating in two weeks, then.’

  ‘Count me in. I hope I’m still at the top of your list,’ Nathan replied and promptly fell asleep.

  ACT 7

  THE PARTY’S OVER

  It was a week later. It was Saturday afternoon. Cassie was out shopping. She told him she was going to the city to look for clothes and he didn’t need to come. As if. He was lying on the couch, a glass of scotch was on the coffee table and he was watching his football team, the not so mighty Bombers being beaten again. The buzzer. Someone was at the door. He dragged himself off the couch, shuffled to the front door and pushed the intercom.

  ‘Hello.’

  ‘Hi Nathan, it’s me.’ It was Sylvia’s voice. Oh shit, what now, he thought. He seriously considered telling her to go away but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

  ‘Come up,’ he said, pushing the button to let her in. Two minutes later Sylvia was at his door.

  ‘I hope I’m not disturbing you Nathan.’

  ‘Actually, you’re not. You’re saving me. Essendon is being done again,’ he said pointing to the TV. ‘Have a seat, I’ll switch it off.’

  Sylvia sat down, Nathan switched off the TV. He realised he was in socks, his shoes were somewhere under the coffee table, his shirt was only half tucked in to his trousers and his jumper had a hole in one sleeve. He was busy fixing himself up as best he could when he noticed Sylvia’s eyes. She had been crying.

  ‘Are you okay? Have you been crying?’ he asked.

  ‘No, yes’ Sylvia replied, fresh tears streaming down her face.

  ‘Oh Nathan, what have I done. He’s left me. Told me I was too old and he needed someone younger. Just like that. I don’t know what I’m going to do.’

  Nathan felt two conflicting emotions. At one level he felt sorry for Sylvia. She looked devastated, beaten. But at another level he felt happy. Serves her right. What did she think? That she and Rory would live happily ever after. Of course that blond stud would tire of her. But she did look so helpless, so pathetic and Nathan could not help but feel for her, despite everything. He put his arm around her.

  ‘I’m sorry Sylvia, I can see you are hurting.’ And without thinking, ‘I’m here for you if you need me. You know, a shoulder to cry on.’

  Suddenly Sylvia’s face brightened.

  ‘Oh Nathan, you don’t know how much I was hoping you would say that. I knew I could count on you.’

  And then in that husky, sexy voice that Nathan knew all too well, the voice she used when she was horny.

  ‘I love you Nathan. You have to believe that. I’ve been a fool but I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.’

  ‘Whoa, hold it right there. I said a shoulder to cry on, Sylvia. You have my sympathy, you do. Despite everything, I hate seeing you unhappy. We had thirty five years of marriage. You are the mother of my children and you’ll always have a special place in my life. But that’s it. I’m with someone else now, I’ve told you that. Don’t you go getting any ideas.’

  He could see the sudden flash of anger in Sylvia’s eyes.

  ‘Yes, you told me Nathan, Sandra. Sandra who doesn’t even have a second name. How long could you have known her? How committed can you possibly be. I’ve said I’m sorry. I made a mistake. You know me, that wasn’t easy for me to say. But I mean it. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. I was a fool, living a fantasy. A nightmare as it turned out. Please take me back Nathan. Please. I’ll do anything.’ Sylvia was now sobbing uncontrollably.

  ‘Had you said those things to me six months ago I would have said yes. I would have taken you back with open arms despite what you had done to me. But not now Sylvia. I’m with someone else now and as much as you might find it hard to believe, I am committed. And so is she. I’m sorry Sylvia. It is not my intention to hurt you any more than you have already been hurt but I have moved on. I’m not coming back to you. Not now, not ever.’

  Without warni
ng, Sylvia slapped him on the face. Hard. He felt his left cheek burning.

  ‘We’ll see about that Nathan. I’m not done yet. Don’t underestimate me Nathan. That would be a mistake.’

  Sylvia left, slamming the door behind her.

  Nathan sat down on the couch. He noticed a glass of scotch on the coffee table, drank it down and poured himself another and drank that too. Despite the scotch, Nathan felt uneasy. He knew Sylvia. She had a nasty streak which she had mostly managed to keep in check. What was that saying – hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Sylvia was scorned alright, and she didn’t even know who Sandra really was.

  What was she thinking? She had dumped him after thirty five years of marriage and she now expected him to take her back. As if nothing had happened. Who did she think she was and what did she think he was. Her possession, to discard and then retrieve whenever she wanted. Even if he didn’t have anyone, he would have said no. But he did have someone and that someone was Cassie and when Sylvia found out, and was certain that she would, there was going to be hell to pay. He was sure of that.

  But what could she actually do, he thought to himself. She would rant and rave, she would do that. But what else, she no longer had any hold on him. She could not tell him how to lead his life. ‘Fuck her,’ he heard himself saying out loud.

  ‘Hi Nathan, I’m home.’

  Nathan was still sitting in the lounge when Cassie came in. He expected her to be carrying bags of clothes. She only bought designer labels. But all she had in her hand were brochures which she dropped onto the coffee table in front of him.

  ‘Just looking.’

  Nathan picked up two of the brochures, one was for children’s cots, the other for highchairs and baby baths.

  Oh shit, he thought, great timing.