Skin Deep

by Burke, Dez

  Shane smiled thinly. “I understand your reservations, Angela. But my mother doesn’t see things that way. She knows how modern relationships work and besides I’m hardly a child and neither are you. She obviously expected us to share a room and that’s why she chose this one for us. It’s the biggest in the house and also located in a private wing with hardly any other guest rooms so we have privacy.”

  “I see,” Angela added with that same dry throat.

  He watched her expression with a shrewd look. “However, we don’t have to share a bed if the thought makes you uncomfortable. While we’re here, I’ll be fine sleeping on the couch. It’s only for the weekend anyway.”

  Angela nodded way too quickly and hoped Shane wouldn’t be offended. She glanced at the large couch set adjacent to the bed and thought, well, that looked like one hell of a comfy couch and she was sure Shane would be fine in it for a few nights. But she didn’t say it out loud of course.

  She found herself wringing her hands. “Well, good. Because you know…it would be really...I mean it’s just better this way.”

  They stared at each other for a few moments. “You’re right,” Shane said at last. “Get some rest. There’ll be dinner tonight with my parents and perhaps a handful of guests. I need to see to a few things so you’ll be left to enjoy your nap in peace. It’s gone well this far, so well done. I’m sure she bought it.”

  “Yeah,” Angela said slowly. “She seems really nice. Your dad too.”

  Shane smiled ironically. “I said she bought it; I didn’t say she’ll give up about the planned intervention. She’s just giving herself time to think up a plan B. I’m not in the clear yet, trust me.”

  Angela nodded and chewed on her bottom lip.

  The situation she was in took a turn for the surreal by the time evening came. Angela had already showered and dressed for dinner when Shane finally returned to the room to freshen up and change as well. Thankfully there was a large dressing room so Angela was spared the intimacy of watching him dress. Once he was ready he walked back into the room and Angela rose from the chair, brushing her hands down to straighten her dress.

  “I hope I look okay,” she said lightly.

  “Stunning, as always,” he told her with unconcealed appreciation. There was a solemn look that crossed his eyes as he added, “I have to warn you that other guests have arrived. I’m not sure how many will be staying overnight at the house. I was able to speak to most of them while you napped so they know you’re here.”

  “Thank you for the warning. Don’t worry though. I’ll do whatever it takes to convince everyone that you’re my man,” Angela said with calm assurance.

  A light flickered in Shane’s eyes and Angela couldn’t be sure it if it was humor or something darker, hotter. “And how would you do that?”

  Angela shrugged, her cheeks warming. “Oh, different stuff. You know, things that show intimacy and trust between my man and me.”

  “You mean like that kiss we shared that first night after the dinner party?” Shane asked deeply. His hands cupped her face and he was staring down at her mouth. Oh dear, thought Angela. His next words had her knees wobbling. “That reminds me…I think we’re a little out of practice.”

  “Shane…”

  He seized his name from her mouth, kissing her passionately. Angela had never felt or tasted such hunger in one kiss. He groaned deeply, his hands sliding down her back and over the swell of her hips to scoop her firm ass over her flowing skirts. Angela couldn’t fight it if she tried; she gave in almost moments later, her hands clutching his shoulders as she mated her tongue with his. They weren’t trying to pretend or be sensible anymore. Their intense attraction and desire for each other could no longer be hidden nor denied.

  So sweet, Shane murmured, his voice smoky with lust. Angela felt his hardness push into her and whimpered into his mouth. She wanted to cup his burgeoning erection in her hand; she wanted to feel him hit the depth of her sheathe as he slammed himself to the hilt inside her…

  Being around him all these weeks had turned her almost hypersexual. Just one look from him could make her pussy start to twitch. A brush of his hand and she was biting back a moan of carnal want. And now that he was kissing her, touching her like she needed so much to be touched. How on earth had she held back from him for so long?

  “This is crazy,” groaned Shane as he tore his mouth away seconds later. His hands gave her ass one last hard squeeze before he released her reluctantly.

  “You, Angela, can drive a man insane,” he told her in a matter-of-fact tone. Angela felt hot all over and she didn’t feel ready to look up at him, afraid of what he would see in her eyes.

  “I don’t want to stop touching or kissing you…but we have to go,” he said, smoothing his hand over her hair before pressing a thumb to her lips which felt swollen and tingling. “If we’re late, my mother wouldn’t hesitate to barge right in here and drag us down to dinner. At least now you look thoroughly kissed; your skin has a flushed glow that will tell the whole world how much we can’t keep our hands off each other. That’s sure to give everyone the right message,” he said with deep humor.

  Angela felt her heart sink. Had that kiss merely been for effect? She’d been so into it, not realizing he’d been priming her to look like they’d been necking their socks off in the bedroom. That sucked big time but Angela had needed the reminder that this was just a job. She wasn’t the woman in Shane’s life, and he certainly didn’t love her.

  “Yeah, it will,” she agreed in voice too husky for her liking. She finally met his gaze with a smile she hoped was bright enough to fool him. “Well let’s go down then before your mother comes to get us herself.”

  Shane looked like he would say something else, but instead he complied by taking her hand and going with her out of the room.

  ****

  It was times like these that Angela almost wished she didn’t take up the job to act as Shane’s girlfriend. She should have known she couldn’t keep herself detached the moment she met him. By the time they reached downstairs and met his parents and their guests, Angela had her feelings under control but they still churned beneath the surface. She wanted to hate him for his single-mindedness in wanting to convince his mother about his ploy. It was all he seemed to care about even at the sacrifice of what was happening between them. The passion they felt for each other was just a means to an end for him, or wasn’t it?

  She was mostly on autopilot and did what was necessary to keep a smile pasted on her face. She absolutely would not speak to Shane directly as she still bristled with indignation that he’d merely kissed her to heat her up in readiness for display. She knew she still seemed a little flustered but couldn’t tell what anyone might be thinking of her hot cheeks and somewhat bruised lips. Shane’s mother had shown no undue interest in Angela’s appearance so she figured all was well. His dad was polite and sweet to her and even seemed a tad bit shy.

  It was an evening of casual country dining and charm which Angela tried as much as she could to enjoy. They were a small group; six in all with Shane’s cousin Marcus and Valerie’s good friend Gina present. Gina was much like a carbon copy of Valerie in terms of dress and mannerism with the only difference being she was far more petite in stature. Marcus was very friendly to the point of flirty and Angela couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing it deliberately to annoy Shane. There seemed to be a quite a bit of good-humored cousin competition going on between them.

  The meal passed without incident and Shane seemed much at ease, showing no discomposure about his scars and none of the others even acting like they existed. Angela figured they’d grown accustomed to seeing his face.

  Angela answered Valerie’s many interested questions as best as she could, keeping her expression friendly so that no one could tell she was in turmoil. She’d gotten herself into a tight mess and nothing seemed to be helping. Certainly not Marcus, acting too familiar by leaning close to speak almost in her ear about some inconsequential tidbit or
the other. She felt Shane’s flashing eyes each time but chose not to meet them. If he had any issues, he could pick it up with his cousin, not her. She was content to sit pretty so to speak, and do her job. That’s all Shane had ever really asked of her and she was a fool for dreaming of taking things deeper.

  The meal couldn’t end soon enough for Angela, whose spirits seemed to sink with each course. She didn’t fit in here; she couldn’t imagine why Shane picked a woman like her. Especially a black woman, though to be honest nobody had given any indication it was a problem. She had no clue about what the others spent the evening discussing. They all knew people Angela had never met or even heard about and Valerie and her friend Gina kept bringing up topics Angela could make no serious contribution to like scrapbooking or canning pickles. To make matters worse, Shane hardly had anything to say to her and allowed everyone else to seize all of his attention. That wouldn’t have pissed her off so bad, but then when she tried to converse with Marcus who was on her other side, she’d feel Shane’s body stiffen beside hers or he’d go so far as to place a warning hand on her knee. What on earth he thought she could get going with his cousin here in front of everyone was beyond her.

  All in all, dinner was excruciating even with all the good country cooking which was every bit as good as the refined dining she’d enjoyed at Shane’s home. Everything managed to make Angela feel like a fish out of water and she was actually counting down the minutes when she could escape to her – their room.

  She felt like they all knew there was someone in their midst that didn’t belong. Angela couldn’t help thinking of Bridget’s words all those weeks ago, warning Angela that she wouldn’t fit into Shane’s world. Boy, she was right!

  Okay, so they were a bunch of white folk who’d probably never even had a black friend, thought Angela dismissively. Shane would be lucky to find a woman like her in reality. At least she didn’t care about his money or background. All she understood was the thrill he gave her with only one glance, and how she longed for the brush of his palm on her skin, even if just lightly. She’d never dreamed to end up being infatuated with him and she hoped it was something she could keep in check. She couldn’t say she hadn’t been warned and the last thing she wanted was to have him laughing in her face at the end.

  “Are you all right, honey?” Valerie asked solicitously, her smile directed at the quiet Angela. Everyone was helping clear the table, carrying their own plates to the kitchen. Angela pushed her chair under the table and turned quickly to Shane’s mother’s voice. “You look a little tired. I hope the evening hasn’t been too much of a strain.”

  “I’m okay,” Angela replied, feeling everyone’s eyes turn to her. “Dinner was lovely, thank you Valerie. But I’m beginning to feel like I might be coming down with a bug or something. It’s been a long day.”

  “Well, I have a cabinet stocked with every kind of medicine you can think of. If you need anything, you let me know. Okay, sweetheart?” Valerie offered kindly. “Do you want to go on up to bed and turn it early?”

  “Yes, I think I will.”

  “I’ll come with you,” Shane said, already rising to join Angela as she stood.

  “No, please dear I wouldn’t dream of dragging you away,” Angela said firmly, placing a hand on his chest for a brief moment. “I can find my way up; it’ll be perfectly fine.”

  To his credit, Shane looked far from convinced as he made to say more, but then he seemed to change his mind and nodded, planting a warm kiss on her jaw. “I’ll be up shortly,” he said quietly.

  Angela turned to the room and said a general goodnight and walked out of the room with as much composure as possible. Once out of everyone’s sight she turned in the opposite direction and made her way outside to the big porch stretching along the length of the house. She settled into the wide, white swing at one end and let out a long breath.

  The evening sun had long since settled behind the mountains, backlighting them from behind. The view was peaceful with the clouds starting to float down and cover the mountaintops. Down the hill below the house was a rolling pasture with an old red barn. She could barely make out the form of cows making their way in for the night.

  She liked it here on the farm.

  It would be a nice place for children to run and play. Or grandchildren…

  The screen door creaked as someone walked through and then let it slam shut with a loud bang behind them. She glanced up to see Shane’s father, Lloyd moving toward her.

  “I thought you might be getting chilly out here missy,” he said, handing her a knitted shawl and then sitting down on the swing beside her. “Mind if I sit here with you a bit?”

  She smiled at him, appreciating his kind gesture. “No, I don’t mind. I could use the company.”

  “Thought you might,” he said. “I’m sorry about dinner tonight. Those women should’ve known you wouldn’t be interested in the latest canning techniques. They didn’t mean to be rude. They’re just intimidated and didn’t know what to say to you.”

  Angela was surprised. “Intimidated? You mean, by me?”

  Lloyd let out a laugh. “Well sure honey. You’re a beautiful, fancy actress and they’re just old country gals. Valerie was a nervous wreck, thinking she was making a bad impression on Shane’s new girl.”

  “I was afraid they didn’t like me,” Angela admitted with a wry smile.

  “What a crazy notion! Why? Because you’re black?”

  She shrugged. “That’s only partly the reason. I’m sure you would have picked out someone different for Shane if you had the choice.”

  Lloyd slapped his knee and laughed out loud at that. “You’ve probably figured out by now we didn’t have many choices where Shane was concerned. Stubborn as a mule and pig-headed too that boy always was-and still is. With the exception of twisting his arm and making him go to college we haven’t had a whole lot of influence on him since he was a boy.”

  Angela smiled, liking the thought of Shane as a child. “Tough kid, huh?”

  “The worst,” Lloyd replied emphatically. “When he was fourteen, we found out he was sneaking out at night and hitch-hiking over to the Tri-County Raceway. That wouldn’t have been so bad except he was racing the damn cars once he got there, without a license at fourteen! His Mama lit him up when she found out. Not that it did any good. All that boy ever wanted to do was drive. He was born to be behind the wheel of a racecar.”

  Angela saw the love for Shane glowing in his dad’s eyes. “You must’ve been very proud of him.”

  “Oh yes, we were so proud. Still are. Everything he’s been through. It would’ve been enough to break a weaker man. Does he ever mention the wreck?”

  Angela bit her lip and looked down at her hands. “No. Never. I know it’s on his mind though, all the time.”

  “I’m not surprised. That damn accident almost killed him. I wasn’t sure Valerie would get through it all either. She was heartsick with worry and stayed by his bedside for almost a year. With Shane though, it wasn’t just the burns and scars he had to deal with. He lost one of his good friends, Reggie Wilson that day too. That was by far the worst part for him to deal with.”

  Angela sat up straighter. For some reason, the info she’d dug up on Shane hadn’t mentioned the two racecar drivers were close. “The other driver was his friend? Oh Jesus! I didn’t know that part.”

  Lloyd ran a tired hand over his face and touched the floor with his foot, sending the swing into motion again. “Those two boys had raced together for years. Sure they were competitors, but when the race was over, they’d be under the hood of each other’s cars, fixing engines. They were inseparable for years. Shane blames himself for Reggie’s death and he can’t work past the guilt. It was an accident, plain and simple. Nobody’s fault: least of all Shane’s. They were running a maneuver they’d done a million times before. Reggie’s car barely touched the wall, but that was all it took to set the whole damn thing in motion. The single worst moment of my life.”

  Te
ars stung Angela’s eyes and she tried to blink them away. “I can’t possibly imagine what you must’ve felt sitting up there in the stands. Having to watch it unfold and being unable to stop it,” she whispered.

  “After it happened, Valerie and I both said we didn’t want Shane to ever race again. But after watching him all these months I’ve realized something. Shane needs to race again. To get behind the wheel of a racecar and drive. He needs it. He lives for it. He’ll never be whole again until he does.”

  Angela shook her head in confusion. “But you just said…”

  He held up his hand. “I know what I said. What his Mama and I want doesn’t matter. I realize that now, whether his Mama does or not. Shane needs to live again. To race again. I think you can make that happen.”

  “Me?” Angela’s voice croaked. “What makes you think I have any influence on Shane? We’ve only been dating a short while and I don’t think he’d listen to anything I said.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. Just be there. Stand by him. We’ve heard about the progress he’s made lately since he met you; throwing dinner parties, going out in public. Listen, I don’t pretend to know what kind of a crazy deal you two have going on. Something’s not quite on the up and up between you two, I can feel it. On the other hand, neither one of you can keep your eyes off the other when you think they’re not looking. I see how he watches you all the time and I can guarantee he never looked at another woman like that. You mean something to him.”

  Her heart leaped. Oh God. If only that were true.

  “I sure hope so,” Angela replied honestly, “because your son means the world to me.”

  “Then tell me how’s he doing, Angela? How’s he really doing? I know he’s trying to paint a pretty picture for us but I need to know. The truth. Just you and me. I promise I won’t say a word to his Mama. I need her to believe he’s better as much as Shane does.”

  Oh shit! Lloyd knew she was a phony. He’d seen right through their little farce. Shane would be so disappointed with her if he found out. Maybe even fire her right away and send her packing.