Jumping at Shadows

by R. G. Green

  It was a clear shot, Eric noted grimly, easy and clean, but though his fingers twitched on the grip of his gun, he didn’t raise it. He couldn’t see T.J.’s face clearly through the plastic, but he knew it well enough that he could envision the deep brown eyes watching him. Eyes that had a way of consuming him, drawing him in with laughter or lust until he became lost in their depths….

  He suddenly saw T.J.’s face hovering over him in their bed, those eyes dark and hungry and so full of love as he sank into Eric slowly and deeply, gaining heat as he pulled out, just a little, before pushing in again. Other memories from a day long ago swam over the image in his mind and the figure he saw in the parking lot, blurring them both in the dim light of the Pub seven years ago.

  “I love you, Eric Michael Geller,” T.J. had said the day he proposed, repeating the words he had said countless times before, and countless times after.

  T.J.’s eyes grew darker as his thrusts into Eric’s body grew harder and faster.

  “You are the most beautiful, smart, and generous person I have ever known, and I can’t picture a time when I wasn’t in love with you. You have my heart, body, and soul, and from the moment I saw you I knew I wanted to share my life with you.”

  The crowd at the Pub had grown quiet and awestruck, but for all Eric was aware of them, they didn’t even exist.

  “I can’t imagine my life without you, and I cherish the life we have made together.”

  T.J.’s eyes bored into him as his fingers dug into Eric’s hips, burning and hungry as flesh slapped against flesh. Sweat glistened on his skin, a single drop slipping around his neck, then dripping from his skin to burn a trail across Eric’s chest….

  “I never thought I could find someone that I could love so unconditionally, but I have found that with you.”

  His panting breath hissed hotly through his teeth as the force of his thrusts rocked them on the bed, sweeping over the sweat on Eric’s cheek as his hips slammed forward again and again….

  “I thank god every day that you were brought into my life, and I never want to spend one moment without you.”

  The weight of his body bore down on Eric, pushing him deeper into the mattress, and his hands pulled their bodies together as he drove himself deeper….

  “Eric Michael Geller, will you marry me?”

  T.J.’s cry sounded deep in his throat as his body plowed into him one last time, and Eric felt the throbbing cock inside him shoot warm wetness straight to his heart, yet the love in T.J.’s eyes had never faded, even after the waves of ecstasy receded.

  The crowd in the Pub erupted in cheers the moment Eric said yes.

  “Eric!”

  The shout shocked Eric back to the present, back to the cold seeping into his bones and the dusty plastic shelves that once held booze and porn. It was T.J.’s voice, and it was close.

  “Baby, where are you? It’s just me, baby. I’m coming in.”

  Eric jerked sharply as the knob on the door moved, and he raised the gun automatically as it slowly creaked open. Renewed winter air swept in as the door opened wider, leaving T.J.’s dark silhouette framed perfectly against the grayish-white light behind him.

  “Briscoe! Get back here!”

  T.J. ignored the shout, not looking over his shoulder as he stepped into the cold interior, his eyes finding Eric almost instantly amongst the shelves. Eric, not the gun in his hand, and they never left his face even as he closed the door carefully behind him. The captain’s shouting was muted but didn’t vanish. Eric’s aim never wavered.

  “Baby, what’s going on?”

  His voice was loud in the emptiness of the abandoned store, and Eric laughed shortly at the absurdity of the question, though the sound that came out was bitter and betrayed. He stood slowly, stepping away from the shelves as T.J.’s eyes followed him. Both hands held his aim steady as he positioned himself in front of T.J., with only a few feet of empty, scarred flooring between them. Both the cold and the shouts from outside seemed to vanish as the world suddenly narrowed to only this, only them inside the hollow, vacant room.

  It was just him and T.J. now.

  “Isn’t the usual line ‘put the gun down’?” The words sounded strained even in his own ears, sounding so ridiculous that it pulled another harsh laugh from his throat.

  T.J. didn’t laugh, but he shook his head slightly as a small, warm smile curled his lips. His next step into the room was slow and precise, and the usual rote was absent as he opened his arms, forgoing any pleas that Eric should relax or any promises that everything would be all right. Instead, he said a simple and heartfelt, “Come here, baby.”

  “Stop!” Eric hissed sharply, stiffening his arm and tensing his grip on the gun. “Just… stop.” T.J. did, but the tenderness on his face made Eric swallow before he could continue. “Tell me why.”

  T.J.’s smile faltered a little in a brief display of confusion, but his arms remained open as he took another careful step forward. “Why what, Eric? Why do I love you? Why do I—”

  “Why did you lie to me!” Eric shouted. “Why did you….” He trailed off as he released one hand from the gun, wiping it sharply over his eye. Then the hand was back. “Why did you spend seven years making me think what we had was real? When all the while you were working for Victor Kroger!”

  “I’m not working for Victor Kroger, baby. I never was. You know that.” T.J.’s voice wasn’t cajoling, just stating a fact.

  Eric snorted. “That’s why Victor so easily destroyed everything we had at the trial, right? Why you remained so calm when I showed you those pictures. They didn’t bother you at all, even though you were in those pictures too. But then again, you already knew about them, didn’t you? That’s why you were never worried about them.”

  “Eric, sweetheart, I already told you why I wasn’t worried.” Another careful step, bringing them just a little closer. “I’m married to a cop, one of the city’s finest detectives. Baby, I wasn’t worried about them because I’m married to you.”

  “Yeah, right.” Eric laughed darkly. “You’re married to me, and that was enough for you to never give them a second thought. You expect me to believe that?”

  “Yes, Eric, I do.” T.J. took another step, keeping his arms open and out, keeping his eyes only on Eric’s face. “I don’t need to see the certificates on the wall or the awards in the closet to know you are one of the best and most dedicated detectives on the force. I didn’t worry about the pictures because I knew you would find whoever was behind them. I never doubted for a second that you would catch Victor Kroger and put him away, and I never doubted for a second that you could keep us both safe no matter what. I never doubted you, baby. Not once.” Another step closer.

  “Yeah, and I suppose you never doubted that someone was watching us either?” Eric shot back. T.J.’s sudden halt was more surprising than his advances, startling enough that the gun wavered, though it didn’t lose its aim. Eric waited, but the heavy sigh T.J. let out seemed to be hiding a laugh.

  “I doubted it was a spy,” T.J. conceded calmly, his eyes suddenly teasing and mischievous despite the gun pointed at his chest. “Turns out I was wrong there. But it wasn’t a spy from Victor Kroger.” The teasing spread to his smile. “The Jensens live right behind us, remember? And they have a son who is about to leave for college? Turns out that Kyle Jensen has been catching free shows from time to time through our bedroom window.” He let out a small chuckle as he took another small step. “It seems that not even cold Minnesota winters can’t stop a horny eighteen-year-old from getting his kicks.” His smile warmed a little more. “Your captain wasn’t ignoring you, baby, he just wasn’t telling you about the quiet questioning he’s been doing around the neighborhood. And it wasn’t a spy. Just a Peeping Tom.”

  The gun wavered a little bit more, but the frown creasing Eric’s brow was more than a little telling. T.J. stepped closer.

  “And that Lexus you kept seeing?” T.J. went on, continuing to slowly close the distance. “The M
organs down the street had their in-laws visiting. The Lexus was a rental, and what you kept seeing was the in-laws trying to get to the airport to catch their flight home.” Another step. “The weather canceled their flights, baby. They had to stay a little longer.” T.J. paused and then added, “They’re from Florida, baby. They don’t know this weather.”

  Eric was listening, and a kernel of uncertainty in his gut was telling him that the pieces fit, but he couldn’t stop the desperate need to know if what he was hearing was the truth or just an attempt to confuse him. T.J. had lied to him about Victor Kroger… but he knew just as certainly that T.J. would never lie to him. His aim faltered enough that it was no longer threatening as T.J.’s words continued.

  “The man in the parking lot of the precinct really was just reporting a lost dog, and he really was just looking for it in the bushes in the parking lot. He only reacted the way he did because you scared him,” T.J. went on calmly. He was within an arm’s length of Eric now. “Your captain told me about that, and about the car you chased the day you were suspended. You could have seen anyone. They could have been anyone, baby. If they acted strangely, they were only reacting to you.”

  Eric stiffened suddenly, the gun back and aimed point-blank at T.J.’s chest. T.J.’s explanations were good, they were reasonable and they could be legitimate, but still….

  “What about Victor Kroger?”

  T.J. froze but didn’t back off. Then his smile turned brilliant. “You got him,” he said succinctly. “Your team found the connection between the tickets to Barbados and the judge.” Then Eric watched the smile become the warm, affectionate smile he had seen so often, reflecting the love and devotion that shone so clearly in the deep brown eyes. “You were right, baby. You got him.”

  The resolve Eric had held so closely around him cracked at the words, and he lowered the gun slowly to point at the floor. Eric stared into T.J.’s eyes, wanting the words to be the truth, needing to see the certainty and reassurance in that calm and steady gaze. And he found it there.

  “The pictures…?”

  “Were apparently just a warning to get you to back off,” T.J. told him quietly. “They found evidence of it when they tracked the connection between Victor and the judge. It seems not even Victor Kroger would risk the repercussions of killing a cop.”

  The smile never vanished as T.J. moved to close the final distance, reaching for Eric’s wrist, then gripping it lightly before he pulled Eric to him. Numbness and shock rendered Eric unresisting as T.J.’s arms circled around him. His mind and body were nearly paralyzed with horrified disbelief at what T.J. had told him… what he had thought… what he had almost done….

  “It’s over, baby. You got him,” T.J. whispered into his hair. Then he leaned back enough to slip his fingers under Eric’s chin, raising Eric’s head enough to meet his eyes. When T.J. leaned forward to capture his mouth in a deep, gentle kiss, Eric felt himself responding with a surreal detachment, not feeling the heat of the kiss physically or emotionally despite the long, sensual moments before T.J. pulled back. Eric stared in wonder as he saw the same love in T.J.’s eyes that he had watched take root and bloom during their first year together, and the love he had seen every day of his life for the last seven years. He felt the sting in his own eyes as fingers stroked gently across his cheek, and the soft tenderness in T.J.’s voice when he spoke again broke the last of Eric’s resistance.

  “And how could you think for one second that this isn’t real?”

  That was when Eric crumbled, when the toll of the stress and tension and the wild, rambling thoughts that had plagued him since the day of the trial crashed around him. The rattle of metal clattered on the floor as the gun slipped from his fingers, and he threw himself against T.J., feeling his lover’s arms catch and hold him as he tried to bury himself in T.J.’s body, too terrified to let even a breath of space separate them. He pressed his face against T.J.’s neck, feeling the burn of tears scald his cheeks as he mouthed the words “I’m so sorry” over and over.

  The blare of sirens grew louder as they drew closer and ended with a screech of tires, followed by shouts and orders.

  Eric was still clinging to T.J. when the uniformed cops burst through the door.

  Epilogue

  Three counts of reckless driving.

  One count of driving without a license.

  One count of fifth-degree assault, brought on by the young man in the Mazda 6 Eric had driven off the road. The second count was dismissed, thanks in large part to an officer named Kilane who had done so well at calming the old man that charges were never pressed. A third one never materialized, as the man with the lost dog had never pressed charges either.

  The weapons charge for intentionally pointing a gun might as well have never existed, as T.J. hadn’t even considered pressing charges.

  Misdemeanors, all punishable, but not severely, not with Eric’s professional career and solid record, not with the extenuating circumstances of Victor Kroger’s abominable trial. Eric’s court-appointed lawyer had been adamant on that stance.

  The assault with a deadly weapon, however, was not as easily dismissed, and the words “threatened without the intent to terrorize” were used by the court prosecutor in reference to the couple locked in the closet. Although a lesser charge than if a claim of “with intent” had been pressed, the incident nevertheless threatened to add years to his sentence. Follow that with the theft of SUV and the fleeing from police personnel, and the prosecutor had legitimate reasons to push for jail.

  But Eric had gotten lucky. His licenses were gone for the foreseeable future, both his driver’s license and his license to carry a firearm. His suspension had turned into termination, though not so much a firing as a release from duty. Court-ordered reporting was mandatory, as was therapy twice a week, and the fines he had been ordered to pay were hefty.

  But he had avoided jail time, largely due to the testimony of the captain and his fellow officers, detectives, and civilians at the precinct, and at least in part due to the sympathy of the judge, who had witnessed the fall of a peer into the clutches of corruption. Eric was credited with not giving up on nailing Victor Kroger and was given leeway for the stress that the activity had created.

  Victor Kroger and Judge Kenczik were both wasting away behind bars, but Eric had been allowed to walk free.

  Eric stomped the snow from his feet before he opened the kitchen door, already smelling the spicy scent of chili simmering in the kitchen. Winter was almost over according to the calendar, but the snow on the ground seemed intent on lingering even as the days crept from March to April. It was slushy now, as the temperatures had warmed, but in the fading light of the day the neighborhood still looked to be suspended in a winter wonderland. Eric took a last, deep breath of cool winter air before he stepped inside.

  “Hey, baby. Everything all right with Mr. Eckerson?” T.J. twisted away from the stove long enough to ask the question, then turned back to his stirring as Eric shed his coat. The scent of peppers and garlic rose from the pot on the burner.

  Eric smiled as he breathed in the smell. “Yeah, just needed to replace the fuse on his furnace and reset the circuit breaker. He’ll be warm and toasty again in no time.” His coat went over the back of a kitchen chair, and he was still sniffing as he slipped up behind his lover. He would have to find another job soon, but he still felt hesitant about job hunting. Being unable to drive added to his reluctance. He smoothed the fleece over T.J.’s hips with firm hands as the spoon scraped the side of the pot.

  T.J. had been a solid rock of support during the legal proceedings that had threatened to rip their lives apart, and had been more than understanding during the months since the rigors of trials and restitution had ended. The neighbors were also thrilled with the handyman services Eric provided as a way to keep himself occupied. He never accepted payment, but more than once they had been the recipients of cakes, cookies, and pies, and had even received a baked ham at Christmas, saving them the expense
of buying their own for Christmas dinner. But they both knew he would have to go back out into the real world sooner or later.

  Those thoughts were still present when T.J. lifted the spoon from the pot in offering.

  “Taste,” he said, holding one hand under the lip to catch any drippings. Eric complied, and moaned in appreciation.

  “I will take that as a compliment,” T.J. told him cheerfully, and he leaned over the spoon to claim a peppery kiss before returning to his stirring. Eric followed the move by pressing in behind him, slipping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on T.J.’s shoulder to watch. T.J. used his free hand to stroke the forearm circling his stomach.

  “Everything okay, baby?” he asked casually.

  Eric sighed and tightened his arms for a moment. “Yeah, I guess. I was just thinking about how I need to try to get back to work, somewhere. I just don’t know where, or doing what, or how I’m going to get there. But I can’t stay home forever.”