A Life Apart

by Harriet Knowles

He pulled her back down and into his arms. “I will sleep soon, dearest. But first I’d just like to make sure you’re really here.” His arm behind her pulled her closer and she felt his hard body press against hers. Eagerly she lifted her face to his. How much she loved him, wanted to please him.

  Chapter 45

  He woke in the early light, still almost disbelieving of his happiness. Elizabeth was beside him, still asleep. He was delighted to see her so relaxed — he had never before seen her thus.

  He lay quietly watching her regular, steady breathing, studying her radiant skin, the dark eyelashes fanned out across her cheeks, and his heart swelled with love and protectiveness. He would never let her be fearful again — of his family, of the reality of his love, or of her future security. He lay there quietly, the tasks he needed to do to secure her running through his mind.

  He was in no hurry to start the day, the previous day had seemed interminable until it was finally time to retire, and he would willingly spend the entire day up here with his wife. But he knew it was not possible and he stored up the memory of this time to solace him in the more formal hours ahead.

  He wondered what they could do together, casting aside ideas that wouldn’t give them the privacy he craved.

  He smiled as he considered the various possibilities and heard her quiet laugh.

  “May I know the topic that you were enjoying, sir — I mean, William?” She made a small sound of annoyance at herself for forgetting his name, and he pressed his lips to her forehead.

  “I’m sorry if I woke you. I was merely trying to think of an occupation that will provide us with privacy during today, Elizabeth. I cannot wait until it is time to retire again before we can be alone.”

  Her hand tightened convulsively into the front of his nightshirt. “You do not have to leave me just yet?”

  “No,” he laughed. “I have no doubt the groom is surprised that I have not arrived for my morning gallop, but I confess I am enjoying being with you.”

  She blushed a deep pink and he pressed his lips together. He must not laugh at her.

  He was pleased to see her eating more at breakfast. He himself had the hearty appetite that had eluded him these past weeks. As they sat at the table, he could barely take his eyes from her.

  “I would like you to meet my sister and my cousin as soon as it can be arranged.” He turned and nodded at the footman for more coffee.

  He looked back at Elizabeth. “Perhaps you will soon wish to begin to be reconciled with those members of your family you feel you can forgive.”

  She sighed. “I think I would prefer to leave that for a while, sir, if you have no objection.”

  He felt a slight disquiet. “It is, of course, your decision, Elizabeth. But I understand your sister Jane was very dear to you. It is not, perhaps, her fault that your mother is as she is. I want you to feel that you may invite her to Pemberley whenever you wish.”

  Her voice was dull. “No. I know my mother would come, too.” She looked up at him, a slight desperation in her eyes. “I do not know how I can ever forgive them — they did not care whether I would be happy or not, and cared nothing for your hopes and dreams.”

  He reached over and placed his hand on hers. “I am sorry. It is, perhaps, too soon.” He regarded her carefully. “Let us be sure and confident in ourselves first.” He felt his spirits lifting. “We will go on a trip together — to Scotland. We can celebrate that your ankle is healed and we can walk the wild moors.”

  He watched her eyes light up. He smiled. “It is the season for the heathers and the colours are very beautiful. And afterwards I will invite my sister, and then you may decide if and how you might wish me to assist you in bringing about a reconciliation for you.”

  She nodded at the footman for more tea. “Where in Scotland do you propose we visit? And might I be permitted to borrow a book or two on the area? I have never been there.”

  He watched her eyes sparkling with excitement and grimaced. “I think we may not be able to go to the Highlands this trip, it is not wise to go when winter is approaching. We will go there next summer.”

  Her face was serious, attentive.

  He swallowed. “I think this time we will cross to the east and go towards the southern edge of the Cairngorms. With good fortune, we will reach Pitlochry, Blairgowrie and Aberfeldy. Then you will be ready to come home.”

  “Just the names sound deliciously exciting to someone who never thought she would have the chance to visit!” She pushed away her plate. “If you have finished, sir, might we go to your library and find a map?”

  He smiled and deliberately took a sip of his coffee. Her face tilted up and she pressed her lips together. He put his cup down. “Three days’ travel. We will stop at Newcastle and Edinburgh and arrive the third evening.”

  She was taking it all in. Then she sat back and bit her lip, as if she was trying not to laugh.

  He raised his brows, but she wouldn’t speak until she was beside him and they were making their way to his library.

  “So, Elizabeth, what was quite so amusing about three days?”

  He was surprised he felt quite so indulgent towards her. Usually he could not bear to be the object of amusement.

  “Why, Mr. Darcy! It is because you were saying upstairs that you were trying to think of some occupation to afford us some privacy.” She was smiling openly now. “I can think of nothing that might afford us more.”

  He laughed. “It was not my intention, although I will not argue about the result. However, you will find walking on the moors equal in privacy, I suspect.”

  She clapped her hands softly together. “It will be the most wonderful trip. Thank you so much for sparing the time to take me.”

  “It will be my very great pleasure, too,” he replied formally, surprised to find that he really meant it. He would write to Georgiana and to Richard, though, before they left. They could get to Pemberley to meet him and Elizabeth on their return.

  He began planning what he’d say in his letter. It would be easier to continue than to begin. He wondered how to begin.

  Chapter 46

  Elizabeth found herself humming contentedly as she turned the pages of the book, peering carefully at the small line drawings. Pitlochry, Blairgowrie and Aberfeldy, William had said. The names rolled off the tongue like poetry and here they were in this book; tiny hamlets, and small farms called crofts.

  Oh, it would be so amazing. And William said they would leave tomorrow. How wonderful it was to have the means to decide to go and be able to leave whenever you wished. She knew everything was being taken care of. Emilie would be packing for her mistress and herself, William’s valet and manservant would be doing the same for him. The head coachman and his staff would be preparing the coach, and Mr. Reed, solid and imperturbable, would be ensuring nothing could possibly go wrong.

  William was out there with him now, together with the wheelwright, checking and strengthening every wheel and axle.

  She smiled contentedly, he was so solicitous of her, so determined that all would be well.

  The housekeeper opened the door and Elizabeth looked up, hearing a loud, imperious voice. A visitor!

  Her heart constricted. Who could it be?

  “Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Mrs. Darcy.” Mrs. Reynolds curtsied, her glance signalling a warning to her mistress.

  Elizabeth rose, as gracefully as she could. The name meant nothing to her, but she was glad of the confidence she felt in her new gown, far more appropriate to her position than those she had arrived with.

  The woman swept in, staring disdainfully at Elizabeth.

  Elizabeth stood, her chin raised. Suddenly the hairs on the back of her neck prickled a warning.

  She looked away, over to the housekeeper. “Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds. Please wait with me, but send a servant to inform Mr. Darcy forthwith that his presence is requested, and why.”

  Her visitor snorted. “There is no need for that pretence, girl! You must know why I am here.�
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  “Indeed not, madam. In fact, I would like to know how you are acquainted with me.” Elizabeth kept her composure as much as possible.

  “Mr. Darcy has much to be doing. You should not be wasting his time with frivolities and summoning him here, there and everywhere. I know he cannot be here! Two days ago, he was summoned to London to meet his uncle, the Earl of Matlock!” She turned sharply to the door. “I have told my coach to wait, and you will be returning to London with me!”

  “I will most certainly not,” Elizabeth said firmly. “I do not even have the good fortune to know who you are.”

  “It does not matter, insolent girl! I have a letter here from the Surgeon General, instructing that you be presented for examination.”

  Elizabeth felt the shock through her body and sensed the shock of the housekeeper, too. If she had been alone here, if William had gone to London …

  She stood up straight, proudly. She was at least as tall as the older woman, although she could not compete for height with the large bonnet and nodding feathers.

  If Lady Catherine believed that William had gone to London, how did she think that the servants would let her take Elizabeth away against her own wishes? She must be part of the family, someone with authority over them.

  With a sigh of relief, she saw the shadow of her husband as he approached the doorway. Suddenly her confidence returned. It was fortunate that her visitor could not see the door.

  She smiled and raised her voice. “One moment.” The shadow paused. Elizabeth relaxed a little more.

  “Let me understand you rightly, Lady Catherine. You tell me that my husband cannot be here, that he was summoned to London two days ago to see his uncle. Believing that, you journeyed here, hoping to find me alone, and having a letter in your possession which you say has come from the Surgeon General ordering that I be presented for examination?”

  Her husband stepped forward into her sight. His expression was forbidding, but she knew it was not aimed at her. She was happy she had been able to indicate to him what the situation was. He would be able to protect her.

  Lady Catherine’s back was to the door, so she noticed no change.

  “Indeed! So let us be about it, foolish girl!” She moved forward, closer to Elizabeth.

  If William had not been there, his protectiveness wrapping her round, she would have been very frightened. But he was there, and she looked as calmly as she could at the unwelcome visitor.

  “I am sure you must have some reason to think that you know his business better than Mr. Darcy does himself.”

  The older woman sniffed. Elizabeth nearly laughed, she was quite sure Lady Catherine had had much practice at such an expressive snort.

  “You are the most upstart young woman I have ever had the misfortune to meet! You have ruined him, trapped him, caused the family untold damage! How dare you stand there and be so rude and headstrong?”

  “Enough!” William’s voice was sharp and incisive as he strode across the room to Elizabeth. He took her hand and raised it to his lips.

  “Bravo, my loveliest Elizabeth.” His whisper strengthened her and helped her stay upright on legs that felt wobbly with relief.

  He turned, still with her hand on his. “Lady Catherine.” His voice was colder than she had ever heard it, even when he was taciturn with anger at their wedding and afterwards.

  She wondered that Lady Catherine seemed immune to his anger, but soon realised that the lady considered no one but herself.

  “You have ruined the family name, Darcy! Why you did not go to your uncle before marrying such an ill-bred, deplorable young woman and cause …”

  “Enough!” his voice was like a whiplash in the room. “I said enough.” He let go of Elizabeth’s hand and took a step towards the guest. “I will need to see this letter you are supposedly in possession of.”

  “Certainly. Then you will, of course, acquiesce to the order.” Lady Catherine nodded to her maid, who opened her reticule and took out a sealed letter.

  Darcy took it and turned away towards the writing table. Breaking the seal, he read swiftly, in silence. Then he refolded the letter and tucked it deep inside his breast pocket.

  “Lady Catherine, I am sure you wish to return to your coach now. You can tell the Earl …” He glanced sideways at Elizabeth.

  “You can tell the Earl, your brother, that the whole Fitzwilliam family is now tainted by this evil corruption. When I come to London with Elizabeth, I will be going to Parliament to get this disgusting practice outlawed! And I have enough evidence to shame you, and the Earl, and that absurd doctor, in every newspaper in town!”

  Elizabeth was watching the older woman and thought she hadn’t understood what William had said. She stepped forward to stand beside her husband.

  But he had also seen the lack of understanding on the visitor’s face. He looked quite merciless. Then he turned to Elizabeth and smiled.

  “Elizabeth, I think you perhaps haven’t been introduced properly. This lady is my mother’s sister. Despite her ill-bred, appalling manners, she is supposedly the daughter of an Earl.” He glanced at Lady Catherine. “And by the time I get to London, she will, along with her brother, be utterly disgraced because of her actions today.”

  His aunt understood this time, her face blanched, and the wrinkled hand atop her walking stick quivered slightly.

  “Mr. Reed!” William raised his voice slightly, and the steward stepped into the room.

  “Mrs. Reynolds, Mr. Payne.” William checked the housekeeper and the butler were also in the room. “Let me make myself quite clear. Lady Catherine is leaving Pemberley now. Neither she, nor any of her staff are to be admitted here again, under any circumstances. None whatsoever.” He glared at his aunt.

  “Have I made myself quite clear?”

  The older woman drew herself up proudly, but Elizabeth could see that she was diminished behind the arrogant facade.

  “I would not wish to return while you have allowed yourself to be ruined by that upstart girl! You are foolish, Darcy, to have done this thing and then not to take the way out that has been arranged for you!”

  He took one step forward. Elizabeth reached out to stop him, he looked so menacing.

  “Lady Catherine, I have one more thing for you to tell your brother. I am delighted Elizabeth is my wife. I am prouder of her than I could ever have imagined, and I know my mother would have loved her dearly.”

  He turned to Elizabeth and offered her his arm. He led her from the room, not waiting to see their guest leave.

  Elizabeth was finding her legs didn’t want to obey her, her vision was fading and her breathing ragged. She forced herself to take one step after another until he had led her into his library, that masculine, quiet, peaceful place.

  She held onto the back of a chair and allowed herself to take some large, shaky breaths.

  “Oh, William! What if you had gone to London? What if she could have taken me?”

  “Elizabeth, my dearest Elizabeth.” William swept her into his arms, and lifted her over to a chair. “You must sit down — or, perhaps you need to lie down? You are very pale.”

  “No, please permit me to stay here with you.” It took a great effort of will to prevent herself from clutching at his sleeve. She must be stronger than this.

  “Of course.” William stooped over her, and kissed her forehead. “I am sorry she called. I must say I never expected her to travel so far, but when I received such a patently absurd order from my uncle I wondered if something might transpire,” he laughed. “Which is why I was informed the moment her coach entered the park, and I was on my way to protect you even before you called for me.”

  Elizabeth relaxed. “Thank you. I am so sorry to be the cause of such a division with your family.”

  He threw back his head and laughed. “I seem to remember I have been the cause of the complete breach between you and your family.”

  She had to smile. “It is quite true, sir.”

  He became seri
ous. “We will go to Scotland as we have planned. Then, when we get home, we must both be prepared perhaps, to reconcile with each other’s family and our own.” He lifted her hand to his mouth.

  “You heard my instructions to the staff. And I will never leave you until I have ensured you are safe.”

  “Thank you. I am so happy you are here.” She watched as he lifted her hand to his mouth again.

  Chapter 47

  Darcy left the dining room after dinner with Elizabeth, ignoring the slightly scandalised expression on the face of the footman.

  But he had no intention of sitting alone over the port when his wife was sitting in the drawing room. He smiled to himself. She had changed him utterly, both in his behaviour and his attitude to the formal requirements of his status.

  And she had not challenged him at all. The changes were all of his own doing. And he liked them, very much indeed.

  “Would you like me to play a little?” Elizabeth offered.

  He turned to her. “I would like that very much — if I might sit beside you?”

  He watched with enjoyment as she blushed a rosy pink and looked down as he squeezed her hand which was tucked into his arm.

  He felt very relaxed, perhaps he might have some enjoyment this evening before they could make their excuses to each other, escape formality and go to their bedchambers.

  He sat back in the chair beside the pianoforte as she played with lively spirit and sang to him. There were long pauses between tunes and they conversed easily, finding much to talk about.

  After a while, he sighed and sat forward. “I think you may be fatigued, Elizabeth. Let us take a small drink and then we might retire.” He smiled at her.

  “It will be a tiring day of travel tomorrow.”

  Her hands dropped from the keyboard with a sigh. “I think you are right, William. But it is such a beautiful instrument, I have been enjoying it very much.”

  He stood up, and assisted her to her feet. “Let us have a drink, it will help you to sleep.”