Manic Monday

by Piper Rayne

  He doesn’t comment and I’m certain that’s because he knows it to be true.

  Jade and Henry keep themselves busy and the silence between Reed and myself seems to grow heavier and heavier, like a weighted fog surrounding us until he finally speaks.

  “I like you, Victoria,” he murmurs his confession.

  “Gee Billy, I think you’re swell too. Want to share a milkshake?”

  He glances over at me. Fear grips my heart. He’s going to call me out on my bullshit, force me to confront things I don’t want to. Instead, he says wryly, “I think that’s my line.”

  “What?”

  “The milkshake, back when Billy and Jane were sharing milkshakes, a girl never would’ve asked.”

  I can’t help but laugh.

  His shoulders rise and fall. “It’s the truth.”

  “Good thing I wasn’t a teenage girl in that decade.”

  “I’m not sure. If you were then, maybe you’d be more amenable and agree to go out with me.” His tone is light and teasing, but it’s clear he wants to know why I keep denying him.

  I face him ready to explain myself. Time for me to just lay it out there for him. All the complications that are my life.

  “Listen.”

  Hearing Jade and Henry talking about a dead fish that’s floating in the water, I know they’re fine, so I give Reed my complete attention.

  “It’s not that I don’t like you.”

  He covers his heart and pretends to faint. “Did you just admit you like me? Has hell frozen over?”

  My eyes bore a hole into his head and he raises his hands in defense. “Sorry,” he murmurs.

  “What’s not to like? Though you’re a lawyer,” I spit the word out like it’s a curse. “You’re the assistant district attorney, you volunteer for Big Brothers and go above and beyond in that regard. You bought us tickets today, bought the snacks. Already have the car for our fundraiser...”

  I break eye contact by glancing over at the kids under the guise of making sure they’re still okay, anything to grab every ounce of willpower to say no to this man.

  “Reed?” A woman’s voice rings out through the early spring air and everything in me tells me not to turn in her direction, but I do anyway.

  Reed’s gaze leaves me for her, but the full wattage smile that’s usually reserved for me doesn’t grace his face.

  “Give me a minute.” He gets up, not bothering to wave the woman over, he heads over to her as though willing her not to get any closer.

  “I saw those kids and that woman you’re with and thought to myself, that can’t be Reed.” Her giggle is fake and forces the same reaction in me as a fork against a plate does.

  “It’s Henry and his friend from school,” he says to her.

  I refuse to feel slighted that he didn’t mention me.

  “Oh, Henry.” She coos. “Henry!”

  I keep my eyes forward, but Henry and Jade look past me to the woman yelling.

  “Who’s that?” Jade asks Henry, her gaze not leaving the woman.

  Henry doesn’t smile at first, but he raises his hand to waist level like a teenager does to a parent at school.

  “Olive,” the boy says.

  “Who is she?”

  I love Jade’s persistence. She’s going to do my dirty work without even knowing it.

  “Reed’s friend. I think they were boyfriend and girlfriend.”

  All my muscles grow rigid and my back straightens.

  “They dated?” Jade’s face is contorted in complete disgust.

  Despite myself, I feel the same as my daughter.

  “I saw them kiss a few times.” Henry shakes his head like he’s eating an insect and tastes something foul.

  “Ew,” Jade says.

  “Come here, Henry, look how big you’ve gotten!” Olive says.

  Henry glances their way again but doesn’t go to Olive.

  “Henry!” Reed’s tone of voice is that of a fathers who expects his child to do as he’s told.

  The impulse to wrap my arms around the little boy and say ‘he’s mine’ is strong. And not just Henry.

  “I’ll be back,” he says with the enthusiasm of a child who’s been told to turn off the video game because it’s time to get to school.

  Henry mopes past me and Jade comes over to sit next to me on the bench, her feet dangling. The smell of her watermelon shampoo reminds me she’s what’s most important and the fact that she seems a little upset by the present situation tells me she’s invested, and I haven’t even gone on an official date with him yet. In her mind, she’s probably thinking that we’ll all move in together into some happy, cozy home. Such is the mind of a seven-year-old.

  “Are you having fun?” I ask her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and laying the side of my head on the top of hers.

  “Yeah. The movie was good. I can’t wait to go on the Ferris wheel.”

  The Ferris wheel. I almost forgot.

  Henry finishes with his hellos and comes back over and sits next to Jade.

  “Do you guys want to go on the Ferris wheel?” I ask. “We’ll let Reed finish talking to his friend.”

  “Yeah!” they both exclaim at the same time.

  “Okay, Henry go whisper to Reed that we’ll meet him over there when he’s done.”

  Yes, I’m sending the boy to do my dirty work. Don’t judge.

  “I’ll go with you.” Jade stands and the two of them round the bench. I rise and step far enough away to make a quick getaway. After they tell Reed, we can just head in that direction without him having to introduce me.

  “Hold up,” Reed says to the kids with his pointer finger raised, when he sees they’re trying to get his attention.

  Olive is rambling on about some mutual acquaintances, divorces, and why anyone in this day in age anyone would commit without a prenup.

  “I mean, she had to go to Target to buy her panties and bras.” Olive hasn’t taken a breath let alone give anyone else a chance to speak. She looks over at the kids as they wait patiently. “Sorry, kids. This is adult stuff. Give us a minute?”

  Her hair is long and blonde. It’s not a natural shade, but she’s spent a fortune to try to make it look that way. Her eyes are light, but I’m not close enough to tell if they’re blue or green and she’s dressed more for brunch than a walk along the pier with her expensive handbag resting on her forearm.

  “My mom is taking us to the Ferris wheel, so meet us over there once you’re done,” Jade interjects, and I fight the proud smile that wants to reveal itself.

  “What?” Reed looks over to the bench and then over to where I’m standing. “Give me one second.” He holds out his arm, waving me over.

  Olive is still talking as though no one has said a word and for the first time, I wonder who she’s here with. I look farther down the pier and spot a group of uppity looking people asking passersby to take their picture, which they promptly examine and then ask for it to be reshot.

  I glance back at Reed who continues to wave me over. “No,” I mouth at him.

  He continues on, insistent that I make my way over. I roll my eyes but do as he asks. I approach, and he draws me into their circle with his hand on my back.

  “Olive,” he says. When she doesn’t stop talking, he tries again. “Olive,” he says louder and finally she snaps out of her rambling.

  “Oh hi, I’m Olive Ashbury.” She holds out her hand and her gaze flicks to Reed’s arm behind my back. “Are you two?” she motions between us with her outstretched hand.

  The kids have left by this point, playing tag around our little huddle, using each one of us as shields.

  “Not yet, but I’m working on it.”

  I stare over at him in disbelief.

  “Oh,” Olive says, surprise in all her features.

  “I’m Victoria by the way.” I finally hold out my hand and she extends hers back out for me to shake, handing me the tips of her fingers instead of her entire hand. How very royal of her.
>
  “And you’re that one’s mom?” she asks, pointing to Jade who has a hand on either side of Reed and is ducking and weaving from one side to the next, trying to see where Henry is.

  “Yep,” I answer, purposely not using yes. Improper and proud.

  “You’re so young,” she comments.

  “Well, it was great seeing you, Olive. We have to get going.” Reed claps his hands for the kids’ attention and they stop messing around and walk back up the pier.

  “Wait,” I call out and they halt.

  “Well, kisses.” She presses her cheek to Reeds and kisses the air on either side. Then does the same to me, pausing for a moment to speak low into my ear. “Good luck with him. I thought I snagged a diamond, but I found out he was a cubic zirconia, if you catch my drift.”

  She pulls away from me as though she just said a casual goodbye and we watch her for a moment while she strolls back over to her friends.

  “You dated her?” I ask.

  “Moment of weakness.” He turns me around by my shoulders. “Ferris wheel!” he yells and points.

  The two kids cheer and jump.

  Her words haunt me as we make our way over to the ride, because I thought I found a diamond once, too.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The line to wait to get on the Ferris wheel is painfully slow. I guess everyone in Chicago decided to venture out the moment spring set in, desperate to get out of hibernation after a long winter. Jade and I only experienced a few short months of the blustery cold. I’m not sure she’ll be loving the snow as much next year as she did this year. She might have her roots in Chicago, but she’s a Cali girl at heart.

  “Want to talk about Olive?” I ask, happy to steer the conversation clear of me and onto some of the baggage it seems Reed has been hiding.

  He stares down at me, the sun lighting one side of his handsome face as it peeks out from behind a cloud. “No.”

  The kids are in front of us, debating which Ice Age movie is better, paying us no attention.

  I knock him with my shoulder. “You know my dirty past, give me some of yours.”

  “I don’t know your past.”

  “Sure, you do.” I look over at him like he’s crazy.

  He shakes his head, the sun playing peekaboo with his face again. “I know you were married. I know you had Jade. I know you got divorced.”

  I shrug. “That’s all there is to know.”

  He leans forward, his eyes on the kids the entire time. “Bullshit,” he whispers and the hairs on my arms stand straight up.

  “You know Pete. I’m sure you probably knew all the reasons we should’ve never gotten married before I stepped foot in that church.” I keep my voice low, so Jade won’t overhear.

  The sun hides behind another cloud and it not only brings a chill to the air, but to Reed’s face.

  He says nothing.

  “I’ll take your silence as a yes.”

  Not really into finding out exactly how much he knows, I focus my attention back on the kids, pointing and talking about how much we’re going to see. Reed stays behind us, lost in his own thoughts, not living in the moment like he usually is.

  An eternity later our turn arrives, and we step into the Ferris wheel car. I drag Jade to my side by her sleeve and wrap my arm around her.

  “I was going to sit with Henry,” she whines.

  “This way you can both see out the same window.” She stares at Henry across from her and they smile at each other like I’m a genius.

  I point out landmark buildings for them and they ask questions like how many people live in Chicago, what happens when you live above the clouds. It’s then I realize that in all the sightseeing we’ve done, I’ve never taken Jade to the Sears Tower.

  Yeah, yeah, Willis Tower now, but never to a true Chicagoan.

  “Can we go today?” Her eyes light up.

  “Next weekend.” Her lips dip and she glances at Henry, the two of them sharing a look like parents are lame.

  Reed’s busy on his phone, not even enjoying the ride or taking in the sights. Whatever, he’s not spoiling my day with Jade.

  “It’s open, we can shoot over there after this,” Reed says without glancing up from his phone. I guess that’s what he was checking on his phone. Yet another way to hold me hostage.

  “Yay!” Jade high fives Henry.

  “Then you’ll miss all those other rides.” I point to the swing ride and few others down below us.

  “They’ll be time after,” Reed says innocently. Too innocently.

  I glare over at a smiling Reed again.

  The kids swap seats with us, so they can see the lake and the boats. We talk about the lighthouse and what a lighthouse keeper does. I have to Google a few facts because I’m not the encyclopedia they believe me to be.

  Finally, our time comes to a close and the ride stops so we climb out.

  “The swings!” Henry says.

  I hand them each their tickets and they run over to the ride. Stepping forward to join them in the waiting area, Reed tugs on the sleeve of my jacket.

  “Hold up.”

  I slow my walk.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just...you’re right.” He runs his hand across the back of his neck, looking everywhere but at me.

  My stomach bottoms out. What must he think of me?

  “I figured.”

  “I’m not proud of the fact I knew Pete wasn’t the man for you, but it’s not what you think.”

  With my attention fixated on Jade and Henry, I stop at a stand to buy some water. “What is it then?”

  Images of a naked stripper laying across a table and Pete plowing into her in the middle of his bachelor party come to my imagination. The embarrassment and shame of being cheated on might be the worst thing to come out of my divorce.

  “I never saw him cheat,” Reed says emphatically.

  I roll my eyes.

  “Swear.” He pulls out his pinky finger.

  My eyebrows shoot up. “I do the pinky swear thing with Jade, Reed. I’ll believe you if you say so. Not like it really matters anyway.”

  The lie is that it does matter to me for some reason.

  Seeming appeased, he hands a twenty over to the cashier and stuffs his hands in his pockets.

  “I’ll get it,” I say, grabbing my wallet out of my purse.

  “I already did.” He smiles that panty melting one that ignites every nerve in my body.

  “So, you never saw him, but…”

  He pushes the change into his pocket and we walk forward, I unscrew the cap to the water and down a sip.

  “There was a night I had to tell him not to put me in a bad position.”

  “He was flirting?” I guess.

  I’m not surprised by it. I saw Pete flirt with my own eyes more than once. You’d think he thought I was blind.

  “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it was anything more. They could have just been talking.”

  “Pete interested in a woman’s thoughts on things?” I widen my eyes and a smile tips his lips. “Not likely.”

  “You’ve got me there.” He pauses, and we watch the kids get on their swings, the attendant double checking their harnesses. “Henry looks like he’s going to throw up.”

  Reed’s right. He’s pale and his eyes are darting between Jade and us as if he’s contemplating escape.

  “Maybe he feels pressure to go on the ride because Jade wanted to?”

  Reed hangs over the metal guardrail. Cupping his hands over his mouth, he yells, “You okay, bud?”

  Henry nods, but there’s nothing convincing about it.

  Reed steps off the rail and the swings moves back to me. “I’d watch out for flying vomit, just in case,” he says to me.

  We sit down on a concrete stoop and watch the kids as the ride gains speed, waving when they pass by us.

  “Victoria, there’s more than that.” Reed’s voice doesn’t hold its usual confidence.

  I swivel in his direction.

&nbs
p; “I didn’t understand what you saw in Pete. I wasn’t willing to kill the bro code, but if he would’ve crossed that line in front of me, I would have…but not because I’m a noble person.” He holds my gaze for a second before continuing. “I would’ve done it because I was being selfish.”

  “Reed.” I place my hand on his knee. “Do not feel guilty for not telling me your suspicions. It’s not like the two of us were friends. I understand where your loyalties were.”

  “Are you listening to me?” He runs a hand through his hair and I get the sense that he’s frustrated by me, which gets my back up.

  “Spit out whatever you’re trying to say.”

  Instead of growing more frustrated with my attitude, a smile teases the corners of his lips. “I liked you then and I like you now.”

  My stomach flutters with his admission. I don’t know if he means he liked me as a person in the past or liked liked me, but it doesn’t matter. I wish I could wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him like I’ve wanted to for weeks, but things aren’t that simple. I’m not that simple.

  “Reed. I like you, too.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  I eye him for a long time willing myself the courage to put it all out there. He sits patiently and waits until I finally take a deep breath and speak.

  “I come with a lot of baggage and they aren’t filled with makeup, sexy heels, and lingerie. They’re overflowing with doubt, trust issues, and low self-esteem. I come with a carry-on in the form of a seven-year-old little girl who, yes, seems adorable and sweet for the few hours you’ve seen her, but there’s a more difficult side. I won’t even mention the oversized bag in the cargo hold that is my ex-husband.

  “I don’t come with that new love glow. I don’t possess the belief that we kiss and live in bliss, happily ever after. I come jaded. My corners aren’t round and smooth, they’re sharp and jagged. So, as much as I like you, and believe me I am attracted to you, this thing between us can’t happen. I’m sorry.”

  I turn my attention away from him and unscrew the cap of water, gulping down the cold liquid like it will help push down all the raw emotion rising within me.

  We sit in silence for a few moments and I can’t believe he hasn’t fought me on this. Not that I want him to, but I expected some sort of comeback.