Lost

  Should I call the police? Was it a figment of my exhausted imagination? Was it some stupid kid’s idea of a joke? Was it the person that broke into our house coming back for more? Was it something else, and I was completely off in my speculation? Should I go sleep on the couch because Jimmy’s bed sucks?

  In the end, I opted not to call the police. I worked hard to convince myself that it was my imagination. I mean seriously, who could jump a nine foot fence? I seriously doubt an NBA player was hanging out in my backyard, in the dark, getting his rocks off by scaring me. I hadn’t been sleeping well the last few nights. I was groggy, and no doubt I was just seeing shadows—a trick of the moonlight. A tree. Something!

  Secure with my decision, I crawled out of bed and slid to the floor.

  Oh, my fucking back is killing me.

  I needed to get Jimmy a new mattress, immediately. How did he sleep on that thing?

  I twisted and turned trying to get the knots out and was surprised to find that I wasn’t completely exhausted. My mattress was being delivered later in the day, so hopefully I was in for a good night’s sleep!

  After a quick shower, I popped my head into the kids’ rooms. Everyone was still passed out, and I left them there. I crept downstairs to get some coffee, and maybe a bowl of fruit. I popped in a K-Cup and made a mental note to get some more coffee—I was sure Costco sold them. I dug the sugar and creamer out of the pantry and got a bowl to put some fruit in.

  I took a sip of my coffee and closed my eyes, savoring the taste. The events of early morning completely forgotten, I decided to take my breakfast outside and enjoy the peace and quiet.

  Chapter 46

  He stretched slowly, quietly, and tried to work the cramps out of his sore muscles. He had gotten there just in time.

  The Woman had made herself known.

  He’d seen her in the kitchen and could smell her fear, but she stood her ground, and he admired her for that.

  He knew The Woman would easily rip into her soft flesh. He knew The Woman could, and would devour her if it meant getting what she wanted.

  The fact that The Woman ran away when she sensed him reassured him that he had indeed fully healed. He was strong, powerful, and the change came easily once again.

  His dreams still haunted him, and though his body was once again strong, it didn’t escape him that his memory was still fuzzy. Whatever he had lost, whatever was creeping around in the depths of his damaged mind, he knew one thing—he needed to protect them from The Woman.

  He watched her eat breakfast, content alone. A sort of peace seemed to settle around her. She finished whatever was in the bowl and sat back with her cup. He watched her sip it slowly, and he had to control the urge to go to her. He had to remember before he could show himself to her. He knew that much.

  It was cool in the morning air, and he inhaled deeply. He could still smell The Woman, but it was a lingering scent—one he found almost repulsive. The Woman was not near at the moment.

  He’d fallen asleep on the ground, but the chilly morning air didn’t bother him, and he was surprised at how alert and energized he felt.

  She took one last sip of her drink and stood to go back inside. She stopped and looked out into the yard. He knew she couldn’t see him, but he stood still, didn’t dare take a breath. She smiled softly and took her things back in the house.

  He said a silent “thanks” that she hadn’t come into the yard—and hadn’t seen the footprints that The Woman had left last night.

  Chapter 47

  “Really, Ethan?” Walt asked his old friend, as they sat in the back of Flo’s.

  It was Saturday morning, and despite the fact that the food at Flo’s Diner was decent at best, the place was packed. It was the perfect place to have such a conversation because everyone was doing their own thing.

  “I don’t know, bud. Hell, I’m still not sure about the shit that went down 20 years ago. But something ain’t right here, Walt. And that poor girl and her kids are smack dab in the middle of it.”

  Walt eyed his best friend. They’d been through a lot together. Ethan had his heart set on making detective, but that was never who Walt was. Walt had settled into the life of a uniformed cop and was happy. He’d been married to his high school sweetheart, Cindy, for over 20 years now. They’d never had children—tried, but it just wasn’t meant to be. And, in the end, they both made their peace with that.

  All Walt wanted was to crawl back into bed beside Cindy’s soft warmth and pretend that history wasn’t going to repeat itself.

  “Look, you got Cindy,” Ethan said. “Back away from this. I got this, Walt.”

  “Fuck that,” Walt fired back. “You’re the best friend I got. You’re like a brother to me, and I’m not walking away from this.”

  Ethan breathed a sigh of relief. There’s no one else in the world he would want by his side. “We should’ve finished this 20 years ago.”

  Chapter 48

  “Thank you! Thank you so much!” I handed the young delivery men each a ten dollar bill. I hoped that was enough. It was all I had on me since I gave Carey cash the night before.

  “No problem, ma’am. If you could just sign here.” He handed me his clipboard and pointed to the dotted line.

  I signed and handed it back to him.

  He looked at it and smiled. “Thank you, ma’am. And thank you for shopping at Mattress Discounters!”

  And just like that, I had my new bed! Thank God! I don’t think my aging body would take another night in Jimmy’s bunk bed.

  “Mommy! Your new mattress isn’t as soft as your old one.” Maggie looked concerned.

  “I know. That’s because it’s new,” I told her, shooing her up the stairs so I could make the bed. This night, I’d be sleeping in a real bed.

  I walked into my room and surveyed things. It was starting to look… normal again. It had lost that war zone look.

  “Won’t you just have to move everything so Isaiah and Joe can put the new floor in?” Sam asked me, coming in to check out the new bed.

  “Yeah,” I told him. “But that’s not until Monday. I’m not sleeping in Jimmy’s bed unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t either,” Sam told me, coming over to help me put the fitted sheet on.

  “Don’t you have to work today?” I asked him, grateful for the help. As much as I loved a king-sized bed, the mattress was so heavy.

  “Yeah, but not until 1. I have the late shift, so I probably won’t be home until 7 or 8.”

  I nodded and went to work on the flat sheet. “Not going out tonight?”

  “I was hoping Karie could come over tonight, if that’s okay with you? I saw on the fridge that you were going to make spaghetti tonight.” He looked hopeful.

  “Sure! That’d be nice. I was thinking we could watch a movie. The Hobbit is on DVD.” I fluffed my pillows after putting the pillow cases on.

  “That’s a long movie!” Sam told me, unzipping the bag containing my new comforter. “I don’t know if the girls will like it.”

  “Jimmy said it was a good movie.” I opened up my new duvet cover. “Actually. Hold on. I think I’m going to wash the cover first. I’ll throw it in before I run to the store.”

  “Cool.” He took the comforter out of the bag and laid it on my bed. “I’m going to jump in the shower. See you tonight?”

  “Yep! Love you!” I blew him a kiss as he disappeared down the hall, and I ran down the stairs.

  * * *

  “Carey, please take us to see Iron Man 3?” Maggie was begging her older brother.

  “Monkey, I just saw it last night. I’m not gonna go see it again. Besides, didn’t Mom say she would take you?”

  “Mom is busy today, and we want to see it today.” Maggie was starting to whine.

  “If Jimmy wants to see it, I can drop you guys off at the theater and come pick you up,” Carey explained.

  I shook my head. “Nope, no dice. I need the van today, and Jimmy is coming wit
h me so we can get him a new mattress too.”

  “Oh. If I take them to see the movie, can I drive the Charger?” Carey sounded so hopeful.

  But I guffawed anyway. “Are you kidding me? Not happening, mister.” I was putting my duvet comforter and the shams in the washing machine. “Asking to drive the Charger.” I think I may have snorted. “What are you smoking?”

  “Please!” Carey now sounded like Maggie.

  “Dude! Not happening. Not yet anyway. I don’t even think Sam’s driven that car,and he has more experience than you do.”

  He turned to a disappointed Maggie. “Sorry, Monkey. I tried.”

  Maggie turned to me and started in, “Mommy… will you please take us to the movies?”

  She sounded so sweet—manipulative little runt.

  “Honey, look. I need to get some groceries, and Jimmy needs a new mattress… badly. If you’re good, I promise I’ll take you tomorrow.”

  “Really?” She asked me warily.

  “Look, I’ll even buy the tickets now,” I told her turning on my laptop. “You know Mommy doesn’t like to waste money, so if I buy the tickets now, we’ll have to go!”

  “Oh… if you guys are going to the movies tomorrow, can Ant and I go see Man of Steel?” Jimmy asked me, coming into the kitchen.

  “I guess. Did you ask if Ant can go tomorrow?”

  “Yep. Karie said she would drop us off, but if you’re taking the girls, can we just ride with you?”

  I was checking the times. “Okay… here. Man of Steel starts at 1:20, and Iron Man 3 starts at 1:45. That work for everyone?”

  Jimmy texted Ant, who responded with an affirmative right away. Maggie was bouncing around happily, so I took that as a yes.

  “Alright… let’s see.” I pushed a few buttons. “Tickets bought. We’ll leave here tomorrow around 12:30. Tell Ant, okay?”

  “Done,” Jimmy fired back immediately. Ahh, the wonders of cell phones.

  “Cool,” I responded. “Jimmy go get your shoes on. Maggie, where’s Jessie?”

  “She’s upstairs,” Maggie told me as she climbed all over Carey. “Do we have to go?”

  “No. You can stay home if it’s okay with Carey. Sam has to work, so he can’t watch you.”

  “It’s cool, Mom. I can watch them,” Carey said.

  “Yes! Can we play your Xbox?” Maggie pestered him.

  He shrugged and said sure, so she took off upstairs. I thought I heard a “Bye, Mom.” But I couldn’t be sure.

  I grabbed my purse, and went out to find Jimmy. I didn’t have to look far. He was waiting patiently for me in the living room.

  “Ready?” I asked him.

  “Yep.” He held the door open for me. “So where are we going?”

  “Might as well go to Mattress Discounters again. They gave me a good deal on my new bed. And then I need to run to Costco. Maybe Whole Foods, depends on whether or not I can get what I need at Costco.” I climbed in the van, and waited until he had shut his door, “Is that okay? Did you have plans today?”

  “Nope! I’m good, wherever you need to go Mom.” Jimmy settled in for the drive.

  * * *

  We didn’t often get time together like this. Not because I didn’t enjoy it, but Jimmy was always off with his friends or studying. So it was nice to have this time with him.

  “How are you doing?” I asked him, as we pulled onto the highway.

  “Good! Ant and I have three classes together this semester. Claudia and I have two,” he told me. He was starting high school in a few weeks. I couldn’t believe it.

  “Great! Just what your teachers need!” I teased.

  “Hey, I’m your good son,” he joked.

  Jimmy and Maggie were so low key. And it was true—they rarely got into trouble.

  We drove along making small talk. He told me about his fishing trip with Ant and Anthony, and I told him about my shopping trip to the mall. I enjoyed the moment. Before I knew it, we were at the strip mall with the mattress store. We went in, Jimmy found a mattress, I paid, and they loaded it in the van. We were back on the road in under 20 minutes.

  “Boy, that was awfully fast,” I told him. “Sure you got what you wanted?”

  “Mom, it’s a mattress. I’m good,” he assured me. “Thank you for getting it.”

  I shrugged, and then it was off to Costco. Ten minutes later, I had my list out, and Jimmy was pushing an oversized cart for me into the giant warehouse store.

  “Okay. Need meat, veggies, bread… some juice—” I said, reading off my list.

  “Can we get some more peanut butter too?” Jimmy asked.

  “Sure.” I added it to my list. “Anything else you can think of?”

  “Some Bisquick so you can make pancakes tomorrow?” He asked me hopefully.

  “I can do that.” The list grew. “Let’s do this.”

  We went up and down the aisles, grabbing things we needed. Bread, ground beef, chicken breasts, all made their way into the cart. By the time we got up to the registers, the cart was overflowing.

  “I don’t even want to know,” I muttered as the cashier rang everything up.

  “462?” Jimmy told me.

  Whenever we came to Costco, Brian would conveniently walk away when it got close to payment time. He joked that he never wanted to see the total, but we always threw out numbers to see who was gonna be closest.

  “398,” I guessed.

  “Hmm… right down the middle,” the young man ringing us up said. “432.”

  “Ohh… so close!” I said as I swiped my credit card.

  They had put everything nicely into boxes, and we were ready to go. Jimmy rode on the back of the cart as I pushed it out to the van, and though he was almost as tall as I was, I was glad that some of the little boy remained. I ran through the parking lot, and he laughed. Jimmy loaded everything up, and put the cart away while I got the van going.

  “Still need a few more things. Mind if we stop at Whole Foods?” I asked him.

  He shook his head and just turned up the radio.

  Chapter 49

  “The sauce was amazing, Mrs. J!” Karie told me as she helped me with the dishes.

  She was such a beautiful girl, so sweet and smart. I’m actually surprised that I never pictured Sam and her dating before. But she fit right into the family.

  “Thank you! When Brian and I got married, I think spaghetti was the one thing I cooked with any kind of confidence.”

  “Really? But you’re such a great cook,” Karie continued to adulate me. “Your Thanksgiving turkey is legendary!”

  I laughed, the kids didn’t know that Brian did all the hard work. He trussed it up and put it in the brine. This year was going to be a first for me—doing it all by myself.

  “Thanks. Your mom is no slouch,” I told her.

  “No, she isn’t. That’s probably why she hates letting anyone else in her kitchen.”

  Karie was right. Bee gave territorial a new meaning when it came to her kitchen. We had been friends for over a decade and only within the last year or so did she seem comfortable letting me in her kitchen to actually do anything besides drink.

  “Okay. Are you ladies done or what?” Sam asked, coming into the kitchen. “The natives are getting restless.”

  Oz the Great and Powerful had come out on DVD a few weeks before, so I had bought it. We just hadn’t gotten around to watching it yet.

  I shooed them both out of the kitchen. “Go. You guys go ahead and get settled. I’m just gonna start the dishwasher, and I’ll pop some popcorn.”

  “You sure, Mom? We can wait.” Sam said, though he already had one foot out the door.

  “Yeah, go ahead. If I miss anything, I can always watch it some other time.”

  * * *

  “Mommy! You missed it, the little monkey was so cute!” Maggie told me, huge smile in place.

  “And the costumes!” Jessie chimed in. “Don’t forget the costumes!”

  “Oh yeah. The costumes! I don’t e
ven really like dresses, but they were so pretty, Mommy!” Maggie agreed.

  “Evanora was my favorite. You should see her clothes, Mommy.” Jessie sighed with envy.

  “Okay. Well, I take it you guys liked the movie?” I laughed as I tried to get them settled into bed.

  “I loved it!”

  “Of course!”

  They laughed and chattered on about the movie for a few more minutes. I sat on the floor between their beds, as I had done countless times before, and listened.

  “Okay. Time to settle down. I’m tired and want to sleep in my new bed, so sleep!” I told them, standing up. I kissed Maggie, and she hugged me tightly, and then it was Jessie’s turn.

  “Good night, Mommy,” Jessie said.

  “Love you,” Maggie finished.

  The same thing every night, and I loved it.

  “Night, my baby girls. Sleep tight,” I told them, blowing them another kiss and turning off their light.

  I walked down the hall to my bedroom, chuckling to myself. The movie had been a hit. I had watched bits and pieces of it, but the kids had all loved it. They sat quietly, taken in by the magical Land of Oz for two hours—two hours of peace and quiet.

  I shut my door and put my nightshirt on—of course, one of Brian’s old T-shirts. Brushing my teeth, I looked expectantly at my new bed. Hopefully I would get a good night’s sleep. A week of sleeping on a tiny twin bunk had reminded me that I was getting older. A few minutes later, I turned off the lamp on my nightstand and crawled into bed.

  Ahh! That feels good.

  Chapter 50

  “MOMMY!”

  A piercing cry penetrated the fog that swirled around my head.

  “MOMMY!”

  The scream rose in pitch, and the terror I heard in their call snapped me bolt upright. The girls.

  I jumped out of bed and ran to their room, the boys coming in right behind me.

  Right after Brian died, the girls had frequent stirring dreams—nightmares. It wasn’t unusual to hear them cry out for me, even if they were sleeping in my bed with me. But the last four or five months had been quiet. They’d returned to sleeping in their rooms and were sleeping through the night.