First Love

by G. L. Snodgrass

  “So you go to PS One Ten,” he said as if that was the extent of his small talk.

  I nodded, then said, “And you go to Iverson Prep. Fancy.” Iverson was known throughout the city as one of the better prep schools.

  He shrugged. “Yeah, well, I’m sort of a legacy. They had to take me.”

  “Really, what? Did your older brother go there? Is it like a fraternity or something?”

  He laughed then shrugged his shoulders. “No, my dad used to teach there. He died a couple of years ago. Cancer. They sort of made sure I got a scholarship.”

  Okay, I was officially an idiot. Why hadn’t my mom told me this stuff? See this was why people shouldn’t be allowed to go on blind dates.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “About your dad. Not you going to Iverson.”

  He smiled “Thanks. The school’s pretty cool. It helped me get a scholarship to SUNY. How about you. Where are you going next year?”

  “Columbia.”

  “Impressive,” he said as one brow rose in admiration. “Um, the university, not the country right?”

  Now it was my turn to laugh. He was trying to put me at ease. More points. This Eric wasn’t turning out to be so bad. There was something to be said about guys with confidence.

  “The University. I’m going to major in English then get my teaching certificate.”

  “Let me guess,” he said with a smile. “You really want to be a writer but will fall back on teaching if that doesn’t work out.”

  Wow, he’d nailed it. Was I that obvious?

  The waiter chose that moment to arrive with our salads. Saving me from having to come up with an answer.

  We settled into eating while I desperately tried to think of something to say. As is usual in moments like that. My mouth got ahead of my brain.

  “So why did you agree to come tonight?” Oh, my god. Did I just say that out loud?

  His eyebrows rose in surprise as if I’d just asked him what kind of underwear he wore, boxers or briefs. I could be such an idiot.

  “I mean,” I said as I tried to scramble for a save. “You’re a good looking guy. You obviously don’t need to be set up.” Okay, my scrambling wasn’t going to work.

  He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. Have I told you how big those shoulders were?

  For the first time, I thought about how this would almost be nice if I hadn’t been forced. It would have been different if he had asked me himself instead of being compelled to. That whole no control of your own life thing sort of put a damper on the evening.

  “My mom. She thinks I’m torn up about an ex-girlfriend. She sort of threatened to turn vegan if I didn’t come.” Here he shuddered as if the idea were anathema. “Anyway, it was this or a lifetime of kale, and wheat germ. Both of which would lead to an early death.”

  “Wow,” I said as my stomach turned over. I’d realized how much he didn’t want to be there but to hear it out loud put a sudden halt to any idea of enjoying myself.

  Now it was his turn to blush as he realized how what he said made a date with me seem so unappealing.

  “Um. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not mad at her. Not anymore. You're fine. But I didn’t know that going in.”

  Oh, nice. Now I was ‘fine’. Could a girl get a better compliment?

  “That’s all right,” I said. “I understand. My mom is a piece of work also.”

  We returned to our meal, neither of us knowing what to say next.

  “So your Ex. Was it a bad breakup?”

  Jesus, I really needed to introduce my mouth to my brain.

  He smiled, though. “You don’t date much do you?”

  Ouch, that hurt. The only thing that saved him was I don’t think it was intentional. Now it was my turn to narrow my brow in confusion. The fact that he was right just made it sound so much worse than it was.

  “Ex’s are not normally a first date topic.” He continued. “More like a third. But no, to answer your question. The breakup wasn’t that bad.” He gave me that famous shoulder shrug again. “Some girls are like butterflies. Flitting here and there, never satisfied. But hey. I’m not bitter or anything.”

  “Oh,” I said, which could cover either his statement about me not dating or the butterfly girl.

  “So, what about you,” he asked. “Why’d you agree to tonight? A pretty girl like you shouldn’t have a problem finding dates.”

  My fork froze halfway between my plate and my open mouth. He thought I was pretty? Really? Or was he just being nice?

  I mimicked his patented shoulder shrug and said, “My mom attempting to manage my life.”

  He smiled and nodded as if I didn’t have to say anything else.

  “What really sucks,” I said. “Is that now that she has been successful in getting me to do something I didn’t want to do. She’ll think she can do it again. I’m afraid I’m in for years of attempted manipulation.”

  He gave out a hearty laugh as if he totally agreed.

  “Yep. The same on my end. Every time my Mom wants to get me to do something she’s going to threaten the whole vegan thing.”

  We settled into a comfortable silence. It was nice knowing we had something in common. When our main course arrived, I glanced over and saw him for the first time.

  He was a nice guy I realized. Not at all what I had thought. His hair was cut short. That warm chocolate color. My stomach suddenly fluttered. As if a bunch of bumble bees had decided to set up residence. What was that all about?

  He caught me staring and my face flashed into full red. A crooked smile flashed across his face for a moment but then he focused on his food. It was obvious he couldn’t wait to get this over with.

  We ate in silence for a moment. That fluttery feeling was replaced by a burning disdain for my mother. How could she do this to me? Set me up with someone like Eric.

  A passing thought made me chuckle

  “What’s so funny,” He asked, probably thinking I was laughing at him.

  I shook my head. “Just thinking.”

  He raised an eyebrow obviously wanting more.

  Sighing, I put my fork down and said, “I was thinking how cool it would be to teach my mom a lesson. I should stay out all night. Wander in about seven in the morning, lipstick smeared, Sweater misbuttoned. You know, the whole walk of shame look.”

  He smiled. “Yeah, say something like, ‘Night Mom. I’ve got to go lie down. Maybe I’ll get some sleep this time.’ You know, lay it on thick.”

  “She’d freak,” I said.

  “Yeah, but she’d never push you into a blind date again.”

  I laughed. “That’s for sure. It would most definitely teach her a lesson. Probably give her a heart attack.”

  We both paused for a moment as we thought over the ramifications. Our eyes locked. Was I serious? No way. No matter how angry I got, I couldn’t do that. It wasn’t my thing.

  The concept had some appeal though. I needed to assert some control over my life. I couldn’t have Mom trying to force me into her mold.

  Could I do it? Could I spend the night hanging out in Manhattan all by myself? I looked over at Eric and a wild fantasy flickered in my brain for a moment.

  No Cassie, do not go there.

  Chapter Three

  Eric

  I studied her for a moment between bites of food. Pretty? Yes, very. Smart? Obviously. Dummies didn’t get into Columbia. Sweet, probably.

  Her idea about coming home late made me think of things I shouldn’t be thinking about with a girl like Cassie. Of course, being me, the more I tried not to think of them the more they hung around.

  Oh well, I tried to put the thoughts aside and focused on my small talk. We discussed personal history. She told me about her father walking out before she was even born.

  No fathers and crazy mothers. We had a lot in common.

  She talked about her friends. Her love of books and anything to do with the written word.

  I talked about school, my friends. The joy of basketb
all and sports in general. That kind of stuff. God, we were so middle class.

  Before we knew it, the dessert was finished and it was time to head home. A little piece of me regretted it. That fact alone meant mom might have been right, which I was not going to admit under any circumstances.

  I asked for the check.

  She went for her purse. “Can I at least pay for my share,” she said. “You shouldn’t have to. This wasn’t your idea.”

  I could tell she was serious. This wasn’t one of those fake offers where the girl hopes you say no and would be disappointed if you said yes, let’s split the check.

  Laughing, I shook my head. “Don’t worry about it. I know it’s sexist and stuff. But, I just wouldn’t feel right. I picked the place after all.”

  She frowned but allowed me to pay. Within a few minutes, we were headed for the door. Half the restaurant staff were shooting me funny looks. Wiggling their eyebrows. I tried to ignore them. I knew I’d be hassled when I picked this place. Juliet, behind the cash register, gave me a secret thumbs up. Obviously, Cassie impressed.

  Placing my hand on the small of her back, I guided Cassie out of the restaurant. I’ve got to admit a little spark shot up my arm from where I touched her. It surprised me. Okay, maybe I was a little more interested than I should have been.

  We turned for her home. It was only a few minutes away. A short time and then I was free for the rest of the night.

  I thought about the game of Halo waiting for me at Henry’s. The Mountain Dew and Cheetos. The all-night ranting of Bill and Terry as they fought about such classic issues as to who contributed more to science fiction, Lucas or Roddenberry.

  Suddenly the night didn’t seem so exciting.

  We walked in silence for a minute then she turned to me and said, “Thank you, I had a good time tonight. I am sorry you had to go through this.”

  “No, it was fine,” I said. Surprising myself with how accurate that statement was. “I enjoyed myself. Don’t tell my mom, though. I’d never hear the end of it.”

  She laughed. “Okay, as long as you don’t tell my mom I enjoyed myself. She already thinks she knows everything.”

  We walked on. Easier.

  A homeless person shifted off in a shadow. I instinctively placed myself between her and the man. Once we were past him, I shifted back to her outside between her and the street.

  She looked at me strangely for a moment but didn’t say anything. We walked on in silence until we turned the corner to her street.

  A few more buildings and we would be there. Should I walk her to her apartment door or say goodbye outside on the front stoop.

  She stopped before we got there and turned to me and said, “I’m going to do it.”

  ‘Do it’? What did she mean?

  “I’m going to stay out all night and come home in the morning. That will teach her. If I don’t do it now, when?”

  My heart jumped a little. Where was this girl going with this?

  She smiled up at me and reached out to squeeze my arm. “Thank you, Eric, I did have a good time. Goodnight.”

  I stared down at her dumbfounded. I’m sure my mouth was open and my eyes creased. What did she mean? She was sending me on my way. Okay, cool.

  But, at the same time, she wasn’t going home.

  “Um, Cassie, are you sure?” I said.

  She thought for a moment then emphatically nodded her head. “Yes, I’ve never been surer of something. Thank you again.”

  I looked around as I scrambled to figure out what was going on. “Cassie, I can’t let you wander around the city all night alone.”

  She stepped back with a stern look.

  “You don’t get to decide what I do, Eric.”

  Wow, where did that come from? I took a deep breath and tried to calm down before I said something dumb.

  “You’re right of course…”

  “I know,” she said. Her lips were set and her eyes had gotten hard. I could see a little doubt in them, though. Back in the back.

  “You’re right of course,” I repeated before I had been interrupted. “But that doesn’t change the fact that we are on a date. I can’t abandon you here on the street. They’d take away my man card. What’s more, my mother would disown me.”

  “It’s not abandonment. I just don’t want to go home yet.”

  I sighed. “Okay, what do you want to do? Where do you want to go,” I asked as I mentally counted the money in my wallet.

  She smiled up at me and said, “This is not your problem. You don’t have to babysit me.”

  “Cassie, it is my problem. Besides, I don’t really have any plans for the rest of the evening.”

  She laughed and asked, “What would we do? Where would we go?”

  I swung my arms wide. “Cassie, we are young, free, and in Manhattan. The center of the known universe. If we can’t find anything to do, then we don’t deserve the title – Teenager -.

  “Are you sure?” she asked. She held the hem of her sweater. I could see how nervous she was. This was a big step.

  “Cassie,” I said. “I have never been surer of anything. Let’s go create memories. Memories you can recall with fondness sixty years from now. At the same time, we will get our mother’s off our backs. It is a win, win.”

  She looked up into my eyes for a moment. I could tell a thousand what-ifs and I shouldn’ts were racing through that pretty mind of hers. At last, she seemed to come to some kind of decision. She smiled hesitantly then nodded her head.

  “Okay,” she said. “After all, my mom is the one who keeps telling me I should spread my wings?

  I looked down into her hesitant but hopeful face. Okay, Eric. Do not screw this up.

  .o0o.

  Cassie

  I can’t believe I decided to do this. What was I thinking? Not only would I be staying out all night. But I would be spending the time with Mr. Stud here.

  Granted. He wasn’t a bad guy. Actually, he was kind of sweet. I’d noticed how he always opened my door, held my chair. Placed himself between me and anything remotely dangerous on the street.

  Yeah, it was chauvinistic. I was a New Yorker after all. I was perfectly capable of handling myself. But I’ve got to admit. I sort of liked it.

  When he’d said he was staying with me, my mind had immediately thrown up a dozen objections. – I use that term on purpose.

  One, I barely knew the guy. But I knew enough. Serial killers and rapists didn’t act like him. At least I didn’t think so. I swallowed hard. Come on Cassie, how many killers do you know?

  Two, my mom was going to freak. Of course, that was the point.

  Three, What would we do all night. If he thought we were going back to his place and make out all evening. Is that why he was still hanging around? Nope, not going to happen. Although, the thought did send a tingle to my insides.

  Four, why was he doing this. It couldn’t be just about getting his mom off his back.

  Five, to top it off. The guy had to have a dozen girls sitting by their phones waiting for him to call. So why did he want to spend it with me?

  Everything was screaming at me to say no. But once again my mouth got ahead of my brain. I said yes before I could stop myself. My brain knew as soon as the words left my mouth that it was not the smart move. It was not the kind of thing smart Cassie would do.

  My heart, however, jumped with joy. So this is what rebellion felt like. Maybe, just maybe, I was taking that step into adulthood. Or at least the first step on a long path.

  We stood there for a moment. On the corner of my street. Both of us sort of lost. Not really sure what we’d just decided. My heart raced. What had I gotten myself into?

  “So what now?” he asked. “Where would you like to go?”

  My mind raced with a thousand possibilities. I looked at him hesitantly.

  “Cassie, it’s your night. You can do whatever you wish. What do you really want?”

  Taking a deep breath, I turned him around. “Come on. I
know the perfect place.

  Four blocks later we arrived.

  Eric halted for a moment when he realized where we were. He smiled and shook his head. “I should have guessed.”

  I smiled back at him as he held the door open for me. “Well, you said whatever I wanted.”

  Parkinson’s was one of the many New York bookstores open all night. It was sort of a neighborhood institution. You could get coffee and browse to your heart's content. No one was going to hurry you along.

  That delicious smell of books flowed into my soul. Paper, glue, leather, and dust. That aroma of knowledge, adventure, love, and stories, washed through me. Recharging my batteries.

  Wow, it was even better at night. Especially with a cute guy. Okay, I’m a nerd but this was the one place in New York where I could spend the next three days if necessary.

  Besides. If he didn’t like it, he could always go home. Me? I was in heaven.

  The bookstore had a soft, quiet vibe. As if afraid of being discovered. Old wooden stairs led to upper levels protected by a wrought iron railing. Shelves and shelves of books were crammed into every available piece of space only occasionally broken by comfortable leather chairs.

  Smiling at Eric, I stopped by the front table and started exploring. I’d start there and work my way back. What special treasure would I find?

  Eric wandered off. We spent a few minutes alone, each in our own world.

  I glanced over where he was studying the science fiction section and caught his profile. My heart jumped a moment. He was so handsome with those cheekbones, sharper than a kitchen knife.

  “He is so out of your league,” I mumbled to myself.

  Why? How did I know? Did I even have a league? I’d never put myself out there. For a lot of reasons, mostly revolving around my father and my trust issues.

  He caught me staring and smiled back. My cheeks flushed red as I dove back to finding a book.

  It took at least forty seconds or so before I was watching him again. Of course this time it was from under my brow. No way was I letting him catch me staring. The last thing he wanted was a creepy admirer.

  Leaving the new books, I drifted over to the bargain bins. That delectable collection of possibilities.