Hidden in the Dark (Harper Flagg Book 1)

by Alyson Larrabee

  He pulls out a chair, and I sit down at the big farmhouse-style table. About eight people could eat here comfortably, but there’s only me. While he’s outside, the toast pops up, and I cover it with butter and cinnamon. Walking around without the zip ties on my ankles helps clear my head even more, and I realize that something’s wrong. Something horrible and embarrassing. Gabriel runs in with the honey, and I tell him, because there’s no one else to tell, and I need help.

  “Gabriel.” Ach. I don’t want to say it, but I have to.

  “What is it, Harper?”

  “I stink really bad, and I don’t think it’s just from the vomit. I must’ve peed myself. I’m sorry.” I can’t look at him.

  “No, no, no. It’s my fault. I never should’ve left you in there for so long. I could see that you were a mess when I locked you up in the root cellar on Wednesday. Today is Friday, for god’s sake! I never should have made you go back in at all, and I left you in there for almost two whole days. Alone. I’m a fucking monster. I’m so sorry, Harper. I’ll get you some clean towels, and you can take a shower.”

  “I want to take it outside like before. I don’t want to be inside a bathroom with the door closed. Not right now. I can’t do it.” Just imagining myself inside a shower stall, small and closed up all around me, makes it hard to breathe. If I were actually inside of one, I think I’d die.

  “Okay. We’ll go back outside.” He’s already headed to another room to get the towels, and I stand there and wait for him, looking out the window. The kitchen’s big and open, but being inside is stressing me out. I move closer to the window, and it helps. I don’t understand what’s happened to me. I feel like I’m suffocating. My heart’s pounding, and it’s hard to take in enough air. He comes back and hands me two big, fluffy white towels. The plastic bag that’s hooked over one of his arms has soap and shampoo and stuff in it.

  “Gabriel, I’m broken.” I start to cry again. “My heart’s pounding and I can’t breathe and my brain doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to. It’s telling my body what to do, but my body won’t do it.”

  “Oh my god, Harper. What have I done?”

  “What’s wrong with me?”

  He grabs my shoulders and stoops a little so he can look into my eyes. “One thing at a time. Let’s do one thing. Take a shower in the sunshine. Focus on that.”

  “I need to go outside. I can’t be in here.”

  “Okay, let’s go.” He holds the door open, and I begin to shuffle toward it. Then I remember that my ankles aren’t tied together anymore and walk out through the door, down the steps, and into the daylight.

  The warm water and soap and sweet-smelling grass under my bare feet help, and I don’t feel as panicked anymore. Only a little nervous. I suds up my hair and my whole body and then take way longer than I need to rinse it all off. After, I put the hose down on the ground, stand up, and reach my arms toward the sky. The glowing, warm light of the sun cleanses me even better than the shower did. Gabriel didn’t stay outside, but he must’ve been watching through a window, because when I’m dried off and wrapped up in the towels, he comes out with a pile of neatly folded clothes.

  “I’ll throw the stuff you were wearing in the washer. Here are a few things I think might fit you.”

  Silently, I take the clothes from him. He turns his back, picks up the disgusting heap of clothes I was wearing, and I get dressed in the sweatpants and T-shirt. “Thanks, I feel more human now, and I smell a lot better.”

  “Do you think you can manage to come inside and have some more tea and a little toast?”

  “I think I’ll be okay if I can sit by the window, if it’s brightly lit and if you leave the door open.”

  Chapter 44

  Harper

  The Healing Process

  After I finish off a couple of pieces of toast and two more cups of Gabriel’s special herb tea with the oranges and honey, I feel even better, but there’s one more thing I can’t live without, and someone’s going to have to go back inside the cave to get it.

  “Gabriel.”

  “What is it, Harper?” He’s behaving like the overly polite, awkward host of a bed-and-breakfast. Grams and I stayed in a B and B once, when I competed in a regional track meet out in Western Mass. I hardly ever sit down and have breakfast at a table with my own family, so it felt super weird to eat breakfast with a bunch of strangers and be served by the host family. The food was good, though.

  “I need To Kill a Mockingbird. It’s in the cave, and I can’t go in and get it. Too dark.”

  He looks down at the floor and doesn’t answer me.

  “The flashlight went out, and I couldn’t read. Then I couldn’t think. Then I threw up all over the place. I don’t remember what happened after that.”

  He hangs his head lower. “I’ll go in and get it for you.”

  I can barely hear him.

  When he stands up and starts moving around the kitchen, I notice that a lot of the drawers have locks on them. He puts his whole set of sharp kitchen knives into one of the drawers and locks it. Then he does the same with all of the silverware, even the spoons. After everything that could possibly be used as a weapon has been secured, he heads outside, and I follow.

  When we get to the door of the root cellar, he stands outside and stares at it. Then he looks at the open door and back over at me. I take a step away from him and think about making a run for it. “Don’t worry, Harper. I’ll never lock you up inside here again. You’re safe. I promise. I won’t hurt you, and I won’t lock you up. Look, there’s no padlock. I put it away someplace safe.”

  I take another step backward.

  “I don’t blame you for not trusting me. I’ll go in to get the book now.” He turns toward the door but still doesn’t enter.

  From where I’m standing, I can see the blackness inside, and I move farther away then turn around. Now I can breathe again. The path that leads to the hill and the meadow lies before me. A weak breeze ruffles my damp, tangled hair.

  “Harper, I can’t go in.” His voice is barely a whisper.

  “You have to. I need the book.”

  “Damn it, Harper, don’t make me do it.”

  “Turn the flashlight on and move fast. There’s no padlock anymore. No one’s going to lock the door. Besides, I’m the only one here, and I’m not turning around, and I’m not gonna move any closer to the cave. I’m too close as it is. It’s freaking me out.”

  “What about Mother?”

  “She’s dead, Gabriel. She’s been dead for over twenty years.”

  Just thinking about the time I spent locked inside with her skeleton sends waves of panic through me, and I wrap my arms around my body. It doesn’t help. I collapse down onto my knees. A minute later his hand is on my elbow, lifting me up. “It’s okay, Harper. I’m back. I’m never going in there again, and neither are you. I promise.”

  He helps me stand up. Once I’m balanced steadily on my feet, he hands me the book, and we walk back toward the house together.

  My room in the house is bright and soothing, all blues and whites, clean and soft. Without my asking, Gabriel unpins the hinges and removes the door. “I’ll knock on the wall and wait for you to answer before I come in, so you can have some privacy.”

  He also takes the curtains and shades off the windows. There are two lamps by the bed. He points them out to me and places a box of light bulbs on one bedside table. “You can have free rein of the house and go outside anytime you like.”

  I’ve already figured out just by looking around that he has locked the doors to most of the rooms in the house, along with a few closets and the door to the basement stairs. The huge, oversize garage is locked up tight, too, and there are blackout shades on the windows. I can go outside any time I want to, but I’m imprisoned in a jail with no walls. I don’t have access to anything that can be used as a weapon or used to escape. He keeps the keys to everything either in his pocket or locked in a drawer. The cars are inside the garage, and i
f I try to make a run for it on foot, I’d have to head down a long, narrow, twisted driveway that’s bordered by dense forest and shrubbery. By the time I got to the road, he’d probably catch me. Plus, I wouldn’t know which way to turn. I have no idea where I am.

  The only escape plan that will work is the one I thought up originally. The only significant difference in my situation is that my ankles aren’t cuffed. And that’s hugely significant. Step one in the plan is to wait for an opportunity to grab the car keys and have faith that it will happen. The calmer I stay and the more I cooperate, the more he’ll trust me.

  Gabriel and I begin to drift through the days together, working out, running through the many trails in the surrounding woods, eating beautiful, healthy meals, sleeping soundly and separately in our comfortable bedrooms, and reading books. I have no access to technology, television, newspapers, or magazines. All of my time is spent outside except for when I’m sleeping or using the bathroom. This particular part of the arrangement is my choice, and he honors it.

  Chapter 45

  Gabriel

  Ready For Anything

  Gabriel had been planning for the time when Harper would become an active and willing participant in their life together, so there weren’t a lot of changes to make inside the house. He’d already installed locks everywhere, so he could secure all the knives and the technology. Everything he could think of that might facilitate her escape was locked up, and he had the keys. Even though she was totally compliant, he still kept the pistol and the knife with him some of the time, although lately he’d begun to ease up, leaving them in a locked drawer in the kitchen and just carrying the keys in his pocket.

  He hadn’t anticipated her horrific claustrophobia, though, and it upset him to see her so hysterical. It was his fault, too. He was the one who had locked her up in the root cellar and left her there. He hated feeling powerless when she fell apart. He wanted to help her but wasn’t sure where to begin. Mostly he just spoke to her in a calm voice until her breathing evened out and she made eye contact.

  Gabriel realized it would take a long time for her to get over it, and he needed to be patient. He worked hard to think of things that would help her. He opened up her surroundings as much as possible. That was something he could control. He kept all of the windows open all the time. He took the doors off her room and her bathroom. He didn’t lock any of the doors that led outside. He created a pleasant outdoor living space for her, with lawn furniture and a hammock hung in the shade between two big oak trees. Harper continued to shower and even brush her teeth outside, with the hose. Hopefully she’d make some progress overcoming her fears before winter. Maybe he could think of a way to move her to a warmer climate if she couldn’t learn to deal with being inside. Air travel was out of the question, however. He imagined the looks on the flight attendants’ faces when Harper started freaking out. Obviously she could never use an airplane restroom.

  He decided to work toward preparing her for a road trip. As soon as he felt like she was ready, he’d take her for a short spin in the Challenger. She could have the windows open if she wanted, but he’d use the child lock feature on the doors while they were in the car. That would be a good start. They’d go for a five-minute drive, and if that went well, he’d try a longer one and then a longer one, until he could trust her and they could head south for the winter.

  Chapter 46

  Harper

  When the Rain Came

  A loud, rumbling noise shakes the bed, and I stir, roll over, and try to enter back into the dream I was having. When a booming crash follows, splitting the night open with a flash of bright light, I sit up straight and look around. Buckets of rain are pounding against the closed windows, and the walls rush toward me, collapsing my lungs. I gasp for breath but can’t get enough air in. It’s dark, then light, then loud. The whole house is shaking, and my formerly large, airy bedroom has shrunk to the size of a closet. Gabriel must have come in during the night when the rain started and closed the windows while I was sleeping, transforming the room into a medieval torture chamber.

  Frantically, I rush into the hallway, down the stairs, and out through the candlelit kitchen, where a stunned Gabriel stands with a steaming cup of tea in his hand and watches me streak by. The backdoor’s closed, and I throw myself against it, wrench it open, and bolt outside as if the house behind me is on fire.

  I make it as far as the driveway when he runs up behind me, grabs my arms, and turns me around. His face looks more panicked than I feel.

  “I couldn’t breathe. You closed the windows. And the walls kept moving closer and closer, pressing me to death.”

  I’m taking in huge gulps of air and shaking from the adrenaline. The frigid rain has already drenched my hair and soaked through my pajamas. But I’m not going inside. No fucking way.

  Shock floods Gabriel’s glistening face. “I thought you were trying to escape.”

  He lets go of my arms and starts to laugh, a real laugh, not the laugh where he’s performing a poor imitation of other people’s laughs. He bends over, grabs his knees for support, and laughs harder than I’ve ever seen anyone laugh before in my life. Then he rights himself and slams me up into a hug. He presses his face against the side of my drenched head and murmurs, “Everything will be okay, Harper. I promise. No more closed windows.”

  When he releases me, the expression of relief on his face is like a prayer of thanks sung to the heavens.

  “Come back inside. I’ll open the windows. Hell, we can keep the doors open, too, if it makes you feel better. Who cares if a few things inside the house get wet? Not me. I certainly don’t give a hoot.”

  “Everything was all closed up, and it was so dark.”

  “We lost power. It will probably be back by morning. Don’t worry, I can light some more candles if the dark upsets you. Come inside. We’re getting soaked.”

  “Okay.” I smile and walk tamely beside him, back into the house. The whole time, as we’re trudging through the muck, drenched to the bone, I think about how I’ve finally done it. I’ve broken him. Yes, he broke me first, but I’m already healing. Except for the whole hysterical claustrophobic panic attack I just had, I’m doing pretty well. I’ve begun to plan my escape again. I’ve been analyzing my former plan, deciding what will work under these new circumstances and which parts I need to change.

  Gabriel, however, is done for. I’ve cracked him open like a gigantic, runny, emotional egg. There’s no putting those hardcore-serial-killer pieces back together again now, Humpty Dumpty, and the king’s men are on their way.

  Together, we enter the house and begin to dry off.

  Chapter 47

  Gabriel

  Operation Freedom

  Tonight was the right night for step one in the plan he called Operation Freedom. His day-to-day life with Harper was better than he’d ever imagined it could be. They were perfectly compatible and happy together. He felt bad that imprisonment had weakened her, physically and emotionally. He had thought she’d be okay, but then, when he left her in the dark for almost forty-eight hours, she had fallen apart. Her breakdown had been so extreme, he had feared she would never recover, but she did. Her progress had been gradual, but she was doing fine now. Her hysterical response to the thunderstorm worried him, but that had happened a few days ago, and she had calmed down a lot since then.

  Except for the claustrophobia, she was sane and articulate most of the time. She looked tanned and healthy from spending so much time outside, although she’d lost some weight.

  Hoping for the best possible outcome, he once again thought through each step of the plan he’d designed. The success of Operation Freedom depended on Harper’s gratitude and compliance once she got in the car. He’d stick to remote country roads, late at night, for now, in case she grabbed for the wheel or tried to signal for help by yelling out the window. They’d try a short ride tonight and, if Harper would be cooperative and compliant, in a couple of nights they’d try a longer one.

&n
bsp; He opened the garage door, lifted the tarp off his latest purchase, and looked it over. It was a 1997 Lincoln: a classic, the size of a yacht, a senior citizen’s car. He laughed out loud. Ah, plan B. Hopefully he wouldn’t need to use it.

  He reached inside his pocket and jingled his keys together. If his plan worked, Harper would live a long and happy life. With him. He wanted this more than anything he’d ever wanted before. The future looked bright and awesome from where he was standing. Life was good once again, for the first time since before Brittany’s accident.

  Midnight would be a perfect time for him and Harper to take the next step toward furthering their happiness.

  She always went to bed early and woke up around sunrise. He usually waited until she was asleep before he snuck out to do any errands, but today, he wanted to see how she’d react if he left her alone for a short amount of time during the day. He looked at his watch. It was early. They hadn’t even had dinner yet. She was lying in the hammock reading a book and looked up to wave when he walked by.

  As nonchalantly as if he did it everyday, Gabriel returned her friendly wave, climbed into the Challenger, and backed up to the turnaround in the driveway. Then he headed out to fill his tank for later. His plan was to go for a midnight run with Harper. If that went well, they’d follow it up with a ride in the Hellcat. The full moon would light their way, dimmed only by an occasional high-drifting cloud. Gabriel had checked the weather forecast: cool and mostly clear, with a light breeze.

  “I’ll meet you at midnight,” he whispered and laughed. Harper would be so surprised. He couldn’t wait to see the expression on her face.