For Money or Love

by Heather Blackmore

  “Tell me about him.”

  Jess smiled. “You’d like him. You’re very similar. Hard-working, smart, stubborn. His college friend Philip—Professor Ridge to you—pitched the Derrick Spaulding MBA program to my dad a few years ago. The student-selection process, the service requirement, and the nonprofit focus intrigued Daddy, which of course is exactly why Philip crafted it in such a manner. My dad’s always been acutely aware of how lucky he’s been and is constantly looking for ways to return some of his wealth to people who need it. It was a match made in heaven.”

  “It’s the perfect program for me for exactly those reasons. I was never a straight-A student, in part because I was usually working and in part because I was never super strong in math and science. Unlike you.”

  Jess laughed. “Don’t let anyone hear you say that or they’ll call the men in the white coats.”

  “They’re already coming for me for dating a Spaulding.”

  Jess took another sip of her beverage, and her expression shuttered.

  “That was a joke,” TJ said, trying to stave off a withdrawal.

  “Was it?” Jess set down her glass.

  “Jess, it was a thoughtless quip. I don’t want to fight with you.”

  “I won’t apologize for being a Spaulding, TJ. My father’s worked extremely hard to get where he is. Yes, my mother’s wealth and Lilith’s uber wealth improved his connections, but it’s my father who founded Magnate and his efforts alone that have turned it into the go-to investment firm of our time. His efforts, mind you, that created the quote ‘perfect’ graduate program you’re in and without which I’d never have met you. You have money issues, not me. I understand we have differences where it’s concerned, and I intend to remain conscious of them to do what I can to put you at ease. But God damn it, you need to meet me halfway.”

  Jess shook her head and threw her fork into her food container, lidded it, and began repacking some of the picnic items. Jess was right. TJ did have money issues. And while she wasn’t about to get over them in a heartbeat, the least she could do was take a step in Jess’s direction. She owed her that much.

  She reached over and stilled Jess’s hand with her own. “Please don’t end our evening prematurely because of a thoughtless comment.”

  “Well, then give me something to work with,” Jess said, exuding frustration. “I feel I’m out on a limb by myself.”

  “You’re not,” TJ said as she gently tugged Jess’s hand. “Hey.” She tugged again and Jess finally met her gaze. “You’re not.” It meant something to hear Jess imply she was pleased their paths had crossed. “You’re right. I do have money issues and I’ve been unfair to you because of them.” TJ lay sideways on the blanket, facing Jess, propped on her elbow.

  “My dad was a job-to-job kind of guy known more for joining in a game of jump ball than taking an extra shift. He didn’t want Mom to work, and she preferred being a stay-at-home mom anyway, so we never had much money. During my first year at community college, he surprised me one day and told me to apply to any college I wanted to, regardless of cost. I thought he’d lost his mind, but he insisted, and I got into my top choice. Near the end of my first semester as a sophomore, he showed up unexpectedly at my dorm room. Pale as a ghost and thinner than I’d ever seen him, he told me this crazy story about how some bar customer had left a sealed package with him one night when he was closing. The man asked my father to keep it safe until he returned for it one day. A year or two later, Dad stumbled across the hiding place and it triggered his memory. Sure enough, the package was still there.

  “It contained three thousand one-hundred-dollar bills. Since the man never returned, Dad started to spend it. Bought my mom a new car and me a year’s tuition. Apparently the local—I don’t know—mafia noted his new spending habits. Who knows, but these guys found their lost money and threatened my dad.

  “With what he hadn’t yet spent, what he was able to sell, my parents’ meager savings, and mostly loans from friends of his I’m still repaying, he managed to pay back the entire sum. But these guys, I’m sure they wanted to send a message.

  “That day in my dorm room, Dad said, ‘Don’t take something for nothing. Work for everything you get and it’ll never lead you wrong.’ He made me promise Kara got a proper education and not to let mine go to waste. He told me he loved me and was proud of me. It was the last time I saw him. They delivered his wedding ring to my mom in an envelope with no return address.

  “And Mom…” TJ couldn’t go there. Rage flared unbidden at the thought of Evelyn’s alcoholism and what she’d put Kara and her through. She sat up and wiped angrily at a falling tear. “I lost everything because of money. Someone else’s money.” As another tear fell, she jumped up and told Jess she needed a minute. She strode farther down the field to put some distance between them.

  She laughed bitterly. Money issues? She had more of those than Greece. No wonder Jess had called her on it.

  A warm body pressed against her back and caring arms wrapped around her waist. She felt the gentle pressure of Jess’s chin against her shoulder. Swiping at the last of her tears, TJ whispered, “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” Jess said. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you.”

  TJ broke from the embrace and turned on Jess. “I don’t want your pity.”

  “And you won’t get it. What you have is my admiration.”

  “For losing a father to poor judgment, a mother to heartbreak and alcoholism, and a sister to street thugs?”

  “For holding on to your values. For never wavering from your integrity. And you haven’t lost Kara. She’s doing great, thanks to you.”

  “You mean, thanks to you. Her health care, her job. You did that.”

  Once again, Jess put her arms around her. “Let’s not keep score.”

  “You’re in a far better position to be able to help me than vice versa,” TJ said.

  “I disagree.”

  “Why am I not surprised?”

  Jess tapped TJ’s nose with her index finger in a playful rebuke before twisting TJ’s hips so that Jess was once again standing behind her. “Look around. Tell me what you see. Or feel. But this time, you only get one word to describe it. Take a few deep breaths before you do.”

  TJ obliged. She closed her eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. She opened her eyes and took in the beautiful night sky. The stars winked as if on a sketchy power grid, whereas the moon shone as if it had just won an Academy Award. Its light kissed the surface of the ocean with a pale glow, like warm breath on a cool window. The horizon stretched open wide in the way of an embrace, offering endless possibilities.

  The thought brought TJ’s mind to the woman holding her. She folded her arms over Jess’s and soaked up the sensation of being held by her. It felt good. Better than good. She felt cherished. Could she say it? It seemed too soon for such sentimentality, though the feeling was undeniable.

  “Only one?” TJ asked.

  “You’ve opened up a lot tonight. I don’t want to wear you out. At least not by talking.” Jess gave TJ a brief squeeze.

  “You’re kind of a hussy, you know that?”

  “One word.”

  One word. What was she seeing, feeling? Words flitted in and out of her brain like moths to a porch light. Cherished. Scared. Possibility. Wonder. Gratitude. Hope. She was feeling a lot. What she wasn’t feeling was brave. Jess was right—TJ had shared enough. Could she put herself in such a vulnerable position by admitting the truth?

  “Vulnerable.” It came out before TJ could censor herself.

  Jess slid around TJ’s body until they were in each other’s arms. “That’s a good thing,” she said, her smile easily visible in the moonlight. “You’re letting me in.”

  “Yay,” TJ grumbled.

  Jess laughed. “You could have picked a thousand other words.”

  “Like you said, I need to meet you halfway. Try, anyway.”

  “So ho
norable.” Jess kissed TJ softly on the lips. “I like that about you.” Jess put her arms around TJ’s neck and whispered in her ear. “You know what else I like?”

  TJ’s stomach tightened. Was she ready for the answer? “Tell me.”

  “Dessert.”

  “Dessert?” It seemed far too soon for them to be entertaining the type TJ immediately called to mind.

  “Mud pie.” Jess gave TJ a quick kiss and threaded her arm through TJ’s as they walked back to the blanket. “The student café here sells it, and it’s to die for. Chocolate-cookie crust, your choice of mocha almond fudge or mint chocolate-chip ice cream, topped with a fudge swirl and whipped cream. This date’s taken far too serious a turn, so after we indulge my sweet tooth, I’m marching you straight back to the game room for a round of pool, where you can attempt to redeem yourself after your poor showing in darts.” Jess grabbed the carrier and stepped off the blanket, leaving TJ to shake it off and fold it.

  “You’re not some sort of pool shark too, are you?”

  “When you’re sent to college for reasons other than to study, you find ways to kill time. Just look sexy for me while you watch me run the table.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Tell me again why we live on the fifth floor?”

  TJ ducked her head around the wall separating the kitchen from the living room and grinned at her sister. “What are you doing home so early? I’m not done making your surprise.” The chocolate-chocolate-chunk muffins were still cooling so she hadn’t yet topped them with the cream-cheese frosting Kara favored.

  Kara dropped her backpack on the couch, set the crutches down, and wiped her brow. Maneuvering up the stairs with the banister in one hand and crutches in the other usually took their toll on her energy when she first entered the apartment, but today was different. Making sure TJ was watching, she gingerly turned around while attempting a silly disco move of pointing up to her right and down to her left.

  When TJ had received Kara’s text that the doctor said the bone was healing well and had removed the cast, she asked Jess if she could duck out early. “Happy to have the cast off, I take it?”

  “You’ve no idea,” Kara said as she limped past TJ and headed straight for the utensil drawer. “She said to ‘let my pain be my guide,’ but I told her I didn’t want you involved.”

  TJ laughed. “I left the spatula in the bowl for you.”

  Quickly returning a spoon to its compartment, Kara scooped as much of the chocolate batter remnants onto the spatula as she could before attacking it with her tongue.

  “How’s it feel?”

  Kara made a face. “Eh. I can wean myself off the crutches depending on the pain. She gave me some exercises to do, and I’m supposed to start PT next week.”

  “That’s great.” TJ pulled out a package of small candles and set them on the counter. “I wanted to celebrate your freedom by greeting you with your favorite dessert, but I didn’t expect you so soon.”

  Kara scraped up the last of the batter and grinned. “That’s ’cuz I didn’t take the bus.” She waggled her eyebrows before licking off the rest of the chocolate.

  “Someone give you a ride?”

  “Nope.” Kara’s eyes twinkled.

  TJ’s thoughts turned dark. Kara was still recovering from her last joyride, which hadn’t brought joy to anyone. Surely she wasn’t returning to her old tricks? Allowing her to work at Dillon’s was one way TJ thought she could curb Kara’s desire for auto-related mischief because she’d be surrounded by car brouhaha in an above-board setting. How did she get home?

  “Could you grab my backpack?” Kara asked as she set the bowl in the sink.

  It was unlike Kara to ask for help of any kind, so TJ’s concern immediately shifted from Kara’s transportation to her injury. She lifted the bag and returned to the kitchen, watching Kara favor her leg as she made her way to the table. “Are you in pain?”

  Kara opened her pack and rifled around for something. “Not really. My foot’s a little tingly because I haven’t put weight on it for so long.” She removed an envelope and set it down. Then she fumbled in her pocket and set a key on top of the envelope. “I got paid today,” she said with a smile.

  TJ took a seat across from her and eyed the objects. “Is that your paycheck?”

  Kara shook her head and slid the tiny pile to TJ.

  TJ pulled the envelope from beneath the key and opened it. Confusion set in as she scanned the document. “This is a certificate of title. I’m the owner of a…1992 Ford Ranger?”

  “Once you sign it and submit it to the DMV.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I bought it.”

  “Kara, you’re not making any sense. What’s going on?”

  Kara rolled her eyes. “Don’t be dense. Some guy abandoned his Ranger at Dillon’s thinking it wasn’t worth the repair cost he was quoted. Anyway, there was an auction and nobody bid so it’s been sitting there. Dillon said if I paid for the parts and fixed it myself, I could have it.” She picked up the key and held it out to TJ. “Wanna check her out?”

  TJ didn’t know how to proceed. Part of her wanted to throw her arms around Kara for her generous gift, while another part wanted to know what the chances were Dillon happened to have an extra vehicle lying around that hadn’t been worth selling. She didn’t want him thinking they needed a special handout. Many times she’d considered purchasing an older car but chose to limit their expenses while she was still paying off her father’s loans and her mother’s medical bills. She figured she’d buy one if she was lucky enough to line up a job at graduation.

  Still another part couldn’t wrap her head around the fact her sixteen-year-old sister had bought her a truck. Teenagers bought music, clothes, and video games. Not major household purchases. Was life without their parents forcing Kara to grow up faster than other kids her age? Was TJ forcing her to do it? Was she giving Kara enough of a chance to simply be a kid?

  “I thought we agreed you were going to buy a couple new games and put the rest into savings.”

  “That was before I knew about the Ranger.”

  “You know I don’t expect you to contribute your paychecks to the household, don’t you?”

  “I know.”

  “Then what are you doing this for?”

  “Because I can.”

  Was it really so simple? TJ watched Kara carefully for any kind of insight into what she was thinking. In these rare moments when Kara did utter more than two sentences, she was always forthright. Nothing in her expression said otherwise. If future paychecks followed the same path as this one, she’d intervene. But for now, the pride showing so brightly in Kara’s eyes meant TJ might have to swallow her own. Yet she swelled with it as she considered the kind of person Kara was turning into. Maybe she wasn’t doing everything wrong as a parent after all.

  “Don’t get mushy,” Kara said.

  “I’m not getting mushy,” TJ lied as she snagged the key and got to her feet, needing a distraction.

  “Uh-huh.”

  TJ tore a paper towel from its roll, folded it, and placed a warm muffin on top. “Here,” she said as she set it in front of Kara. “No frosting but I’m sure you’ll manage.” She scooped up a crutch in case Kara needed it to traverse the stairs. “Now get off your derriere and let’s go for a drive.”

  *

  As Jess sat down to lunch, Brooke said, “Tell me the rumors aren’t true.”

  If Jess was correct about where this conversation was headed, she wasn’t sure she wanted to dine. “Rumors?”

  “Don’t play coy. Rumors of you locking lips with a woman.”

  Jess pretended to study her menu. The time she and TJ were spending together was too important to trivialize or deny. TJ wouldn’t. “Then let’s not deal in rumor. I’ve kissed a woman, yes. The crispy chicken-leg confit with couscous and olives sounds good.”

  Brooke pushed down the top of Jess’s menu until it hit the table and spoke in a quiet yet anxious vo
ice. “Are you kidding me with this?”

  As patiently as she could, Jess said, “I’ve met someone who makes me happy. Is that a crime?”

  “Jess, when I said we needed to embrace diversity, I wasn’t talking about literally folding your arms around another woman.”

  “Why don’t you tell me what’s really on your mind? You don’t take well to the idea that your sister’s dating a woman, is at the very least bisexual, and possibly even gay.” Jess perused the menu. “I think I’ll go with the chicken with artichokes and angel hair.”

  Brooke ripped the menu out of Jess’s hands. “I don’t give a good God damn whether you’re dating a woman or the Cat in the Hat, but our clients will. Why are you making light of this?”

  “Because it’s none of their business.” Jess crossed her arms defiantly. “Or anyone else’s.”

  “Did you hit your head?” Brooke gave Jess the three-finger salute. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

  A waitress took their drink order and promptly moved away.

  “What our clients can and can’t handle on a personal front has no bearing on me. We’re there to increase their assets appreciably. Who I sleep with is of no consequence.”

  Wide-eyed, Brooke whispered, “You’ve slept with her?”

  Although Jess and TJ hadn’t had sex, it didn’t prevent Jess from imagining it. The smile she failed to quell likely revealed the train of her thoughts.

  Brooke’s voice increased at least half an octave. “Are you forgetting who your stepmother is? Our lives are as much our own as individuality gets expressed in paint-by-numbers.”

  “Are you honestly worried that my love life is going to impact Magnate’s bottom line? Because if that’s true, we’ve really got to work on our messaging. The whole industry-leading-returns angle’s got to go.”

  “I’m worried Lilith is going to blow a gasket the way she did when you wanted to elope.”

  Jess took a moment to study her sister. Had they deferred to Lilith at the expense of their happiness? “Do you think Dad wants us to accede to Lilith’s wishes if it means squelching a part of ourselves?”