For Money or Love

by Heather Blackmore

  “Are you sure you want to be wearing that outfit when you arrive?” Jess asked. “You’re not your usually intimidating self in that garb.”

  “Am I usually intimidating?” Derrick asked.

  Jess smiled. “You know better than to ask.”

  “As long as I don’t intimidate my family.”

  “Only as it relates to work.”

  “I might be able to live with that. Speaking of work, how’s everything on the marketing front? Brooke’s never in the office, which means Magnate has you to thank.”

  “Because she’s busy meeting new prospects or because she’s out of your hair?”

  “I plead the Fifth.”

  Jess laughed. “Things are good.” An image of TJ popped into her head and she blushed. “Really good.”

  “Does this mean Chad’s finally given up aiming for Playboy of the Year and wants to take things more seriously?”

  Lost in her thoughts, Jess asked, “Who? Sorry. Chad. I’ve no idea. I hope that doesn’t disappoint you.”

  Derrick made use of the bar within the vehicle’s confines and poured them both a glass of bubbly. After handing one to Jess, he offered his for a toast. “You could never disappoint me. Especially if it means Chad’s on the outs.”

  “I thought you liked him.”

  “I like a lot of people. Doesn’t mean I want them marrying my daughter.”

  “Lilith thinks he’s perfect.”

  “Uh-oh. Should I be worried?” Derrick asked with a glint in his eye.

  “She’s far too enamored of you to be considering replacements.”

  “Chad’s a good-looking lad with a great name and a tremendous future. But he’s only perfect if you think he is. And I’ve never gotten that sense from you.”

  “No.” Caught between wanting to tell Derrick about TJ and not wanting to admit to herself she was so far gone already, Jess hedged. “I’ve met someone I really like, but I’m afraid to jinx it by making too much of it too soon. Would you be offended if I leave it at that?”

  “Would you be offended if I gave you some advice?”

  “Not at all. You’re two for two on the important-relationships front, so you must know something.”

  “There’s no such thing as making too much of a relationship with someone who’s special. You each might be ready to take certain steps at different times, but there’s no shame in admitting how you feel as you’re feeling it.”

  “Even if it’s scary as hell?”

  “Especially. Loving someone means you’ll have pain and joy, but it’s the joy that endures.”

  “Love might be a little premature,” Jess said as if trying to convince herself.

  “Jessica, falling in love is like DNA. It’s different for everyone. There’s no universal timetable. I’m not trying to convince you you’re in love, though the sparkle in your eyes tells a different story. I’m saying there’s no such thing as too much or too quickly.”

  It was too big an opening not to take. “So if I tie the knot down at city hall tomorrow, I can tell Lilith you said it was okay?”

  “I can safely say your elopement would be painful for me.”

  “Because you couldn’t walk me down the aisle?”

  “Because after Lilith got through with me, I wouldn’t be physically able to. Have mercy, child.”

  *

  Technology was a blessing and a curse. The fact that parents could register for the high school’s smartphone app that provided up-to-date test results of its students was a blessing. The fact that the records didn’t lie was a curse. TJ had several hours from receipt of Kara’s latest test scores before they’d see each other at home, and TJ needed every second of that time to figure out a course of action. Kara had always been a straight-A student with the exception of physical-education courses, which she despised. Although TJ believed physical activity was important, she didn’t consider Kara’s poor PE scores to be compromising her education.

  What was compromising her education, however, was the job at Dillon’s. That much was clear from the B-minus in American Literature and C-plus in U.S. Government.

  Since Kara had started working, she’d spoken more to TJ in the past few weeks than she had in months. She was excited about what she was learning, and it showed. Her enthusiasm was obvious even in the mornings, which Kara usually dreaded, no longer dragging her feet and pushing her luck when it came to getting to school on time. And in the evenings, instead of what was normally a teeth-pulling exercise to get her to say more than ten words during dinner, TJ now spent time listening to Kara chatter about the latest vehicle she’d worked on and how she’d helped fix some difficult mechanical problem.

  TJ was loath to take any kind of step that would dim Kara’s flame, but she’d promised her father she would ensure that Kara received a solid education. Her father’s memory burned brightly in TJ’s mind. Jack had often stated that his biggest regret was having never graduated high school. He believed his earning power had been less than a third of what it could have been had he gone to college. But in his younger days, he’d cared more about women than school, and by the time he figured out a college education would have been a more lucrative path, he had a wife, a young daughter, and a construction gig. Unfortunately he landed in an industry that was one of the first to feel the brunt of an economic downturn, and finding work took precedence over returning to school for a degree.

  He’d pushed TJ throughout high school, and she was a good student, though the pluses became minuses when she’d started working at sixteen to help with expenses. Now his children’s futures rested in her hands. She’d made it into a graduate program he’d be proud of, and she owed it to him to ensure Kara applied to good colleges with grades that would secure her acceptance.

  TJ had to take the pragmatic approach. College would be far more beneficial to Kara over the long term than anything she could reap from Dillon’s. She felt certain that if Jack were alive, he wouldn’t allow Kara to keep the job at the expense of her grades. Short term, TJ knew she’d be at the receiving end of a full-scale verbal thrashing. But soon thereafter, Kara would go back to being a typical teenager, sulking one day and joking the next. At least that was the hope.

  When TJ heard Kara’s key in the lock, she steeled herself to do what she felt was in Kara’s best interest. As Kara’s guardian, it wasn’t her job to be Kara’s best friend, even though she wanted to be. Rather, her role was to help guide Kara through this prickly world, be her moral compass, her champion, her supporter. And sometimes that meant making decisions Kara disliked, because it would lead to the greater good. This was one of those times.

  “Hey, Teej. You wouldn’t believe what happened today.” Kara swung her backpack onto the couch and headed to the kitchen for a glass of milk. “This guy brought in a sixth-generation Suburban he’d taken to three other places. The guy’s out, like, twelve hundred bucks by this point, and he’s been told he needs to invest another twenty-two hundred to fix the problem. So Jimmy, one of our master techs, tells me to check it out with him. And we do, and it’s so obvious what the…” Kara stopped her rambling after TJ slid her phone across the kitchen table. “What’s this?”

  “I think it’s fairly self-explanatory,” TJ said.

  Kara slid the phone back to TJ and shrugged. “They’re just test scores. Not midterms. It’s not like it’s my final grade.”

  “English is your best subject.”

  Kara shrugged again. TJ wished someone would make some sort of miniature version of a straitjacket for teenagers that you could put them in to immobilize their shoulders. But what would a teenager be without the ability to casually express indifference?

  “How are your other classes going?” Shrug again and I may claw my eyes out.

  Sure enough, the shoulders raised and dropped. Kara returned the milk to the fridge and set her glass in the sink. Ten steps later she was retrieving her backpack and heading for her bedroom.

  “I’d like to discuss this with you,”
TJ said, raising her voice beyond what she’d prefer.

  “What’s to discuss?” Kara’s phone was in her hand, and although she stopped short of the hallway, she was swiping at the screen.

  TJ stood and squared off. “This is a drastic drop in performance over a short time frame. It’s safe to say your job’s having a detrimental effect on your studies. I’m not okay with that.”

  Kara met TJ’s gaze. “What’s the big deal? I’ve made Bs and Cs before.”

  “Not in the same semester and never in more than one class. And the one C you ever got was when you were out with the flu the week before. This isn’t acceptable.”

  “I’ll try harder,” Kara said in a tone that conveyed she wouldn’t.

  “Yes, you will. Which will be easier once you quit your job. You promised to maintain your grades, and I can see what that means to you. You’re going to give notice. Next Friday will be your last day.”

  Kara’s eyes narrowed and her jaw jutted forward. Her breathing became more pronounced with each passing second, her nostrils twitched, and her eyes began to glisten. “I hate you!” she screamed before slamming her bedroom door.

  The words were like a serrated knife pulled through a fresh scab, painful and jarring. And it was about to feel like aloe on sunburn compared to what TJ had to do next.

  *

  “I thought you’d never get here,” Jess said as she tugged TJ into her loft and closed the door. But before she threw her arms around her neck, she could immediately tell something was off. TJ stood as stiff as a wall. She looked like she wanted a kiss as much as she wanted a colonoscopy. “What’s wrong?”

  TJ pushed her hands into her pant pockets. “We need to talk.”

  Worst opening line ever. “Okay,” Jess said, stretching out the word as if it were pizza dough. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  TJ shook her head. “I need to put this on hold for a little while.”

  Jess’s stomach clenched. She hoped she’d misunderstood TJ’s vague statement. “This?”

  “Us.”

  Jess took a sharp breath. They’d barely begun to be an “us.” How could TJ be ending what had scarcely had a chance to begin? More importantly, why? She tamped down on her urge to beg TJ to reconsider.

  She made her way to the wet bar and poured herself a drink, using the time to settle her thoughts. What was she supposed to say? “I see” would be a lie. “May I ask why” felt too standoffish. “Is it something I did” was unfair to herself. Arguing seemed selfish. Crying would be too dramatic. The burning sensation as the beverage went down felt apropos, like a devastating fire was ravaging her insides.

  “I don’t know what to say,” she finally said. “An explanation would be nice.” Jess felt as though someone else had spoken the words. They were too stiff, reflecting the distance her heart suddenly sought.

  “Kara’s grades have slipped. I think it’s from a combination of her job at Dillon’s and me spending less time at home,” TJ said.

  And more time with you. TJ hadn’t said it, but the words stung as if she had.

  “I need to rectify both situations,” TJ said.

  “I’m a situation?” Jess asked without emotion.

  “I told you when we met that I don’t date. This is why. Kara’s always going to be my priority.”

  “I never expected otherwise,” Jess said, her ire rising. Even though TJ wasn’t technically a single parent, single parents dated. Of course their children were their priority. That didn’t mean they couldn’t meet someone and fall in love. Look at Mike and Carol Brady.

  “It’s not fair of me to put anyone in a position that’s less than they deserve,” TJ said.

  “It’s not fair of you to play God and make choices for that person. God damn it—me. Let’s not pretend we’re talking about some theoretical person. We’re talking about me. There’s no reason it has to be all or nothing. You aren’t the first single parent trying to balance a new relationship and a child.”

  “This is hard enough. How much harder will it be when you mean even more to me than you already do? It would break me,” TJ said.

  God, what Jess wouldn’t give to hear those words in another context. TJ was admitting some very strong feelings for her, and it was happening while she’s breaking things off? “You’re assuming I’m a liability. How much better a parent might you be if you’re happy?”

  “Like your father?” TJ said testily. “As long as I’m happy, let my wife steamroller my child while I don’t lift a damn finger to stop her?”

  Jess stared at TJ as if she’d owned to kicking a white cane from a blind man. Her breathing grew heavy and she barely suppressed her rage. “You have no right.”

  “I have every right. Parents hold their children up, not tear them down.”

  Jess snapped. “The way you’re holding Kara up by forbidding her from doing what she loves?”

  TJ blinked.

  This was getting out of hand. Jess had no desire to wound TJ, no desire to argue. In fact, she’d rather entreat her to change her mind. “Please go before we both say more things we’ll regret.”

  “I never meant to hurt you,” TJ said.

  “Then don’t walk away from what’s between us by unilaterally deciding what I do and don’t deserve,” Jess said.

  The moisture reflecting in TJ’s eyes didn’t make Jess feel better. Backing away from Jess and heading out the way she came, TJ said, “I don’t have a choice.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  The last time Lilith called a family dinner was during a social-media storm involving a photo of a naked Brooke lookalike being penetrated from behind by a man whose face was obscured. Lilith had upbraided Brooke for the scandal and demanded she issue a public apology. Brooke said she would do so if Lilith could prove it was her. Lilith turned crimson and issued multiple warnings about the effect of such behavior on the firm’s reputation. Brooke turned to Jess to ask whether there were signs that the incident appeared to be harming Magnate. On the contrary, Jess reported a spike in web “contact me” forms and confirmed that several were bona fide prospects.

  Brooke’s partner in the affair was the son of a wealthy foreign diplomat, which by rule made him acceptable to Lilith. But in the event their relationship became serious, she didn’t want to sour Lilith’s impression of him by admitting the truth, which she did privately to Jess. She simply decided some PR was better than no PR and neither confirmed nor denied the affair to the tabloids. Indeed, over time not a single client seemed to have been lost, and several were gained.

  Jess had been impressed by her sister’s fortitude in facing down Lilith. She wished she could channel it.

  Lilith, who liked to keep everyone waiting, finally joined her family and allowed everyone several bites before launching in with the subtlety of a missile. “Jessica, I heard a disturbing rumor about you.”

  Innocently, Jess asked, “Oh?”

  “Did you go for a cruise aboard Muriel Manchester’s yacht recently?”

  “I did.” Jess set down her utensils, knowing she wouldn’t be eating any more of her meal. “Is there a problem?”

  “Did you kiss a woman?”

  “I did.” Jess noted the absence of a specific reference to TJ and hoped Brooke was the only one who knew the woman was Magnate’s intern.

  “On purpose?” Lilith asked.

  The question was so absurd, it was a feat to keep from laughing. How did one kiss someone accidentally, aside from possibly sharing a piece of spaghetti à la the dogs in Disney’s Lady and the Tramp?

  As if reading Jess’s mind, Brooke jumped in with a sarcastic reply. “No, accidentally.”

  Lilith quieted Brooke with a cool stare before returning her attention to Jess. “It wasn’t a joke or a dare?”

  “Do you have an issue with it?” Jess asked.

  “You know very well that’s not the question, Jessica. It’s whether it reflects poorly on the firm.”

  “My personal life has nothing to do with t
he firm.”

  “Those arguments are tiresome and untrue. You wouldn’t say the same thing if your father were caught in a scandal.”

  “A, there’s no scandal. B, he’s the founder and CEO. Of course what he does in his personal life reflects upon the firm. C, he’s married. I’m not.”

  “Gary, would you say our client base tends to be liberal or conservative on social issues?” Lilith asked her son, appearing to change tactics.

  “Conservative,” Gary replied. “Muriel’s a rare exception.”

  “Brooke, when you entertain our clients, do you feel you’re representing the firm?” Lilith asked.

  Jess noted the very specific, leading question. It didn’t allow Brooke much room for pushing back. “Of course I do, but Jess wasn’t entertaining—”

  Lilith’s raised palm was enough to quiet Brooke. She turned to Jess. “Please see to it that such rumors cease. We can’t have Magnate’s reputation suffer because of poor personal choices.”

  That her father opted for silence and failed to call Lilith on her overreaching brought to mind TJ’s issues with him. Jess had been so quick to defend Derrick and so angry with TJ for questioning his parenting, she hadn’t recalled the many times she, too, had questioned his inaction. Was it fair to call TJ out for something she’d done countless times herself?

  Nothing felt fair at the moment. Not TJ’s decision to back away from their relationship, not Lilith’s insulting demands on Jess’s life, not Derrick’s continued deference to his overbearing wife.

  Taking a page from Brooke’s playbook, Jess decided she wouldn’t bow to Lilith so easily. “It wasn’t a business-related event. I attended as a guest.”