The nurse walked in with the tray of food and drink.
“As I was talking to him, his jaw muscle kind of clenched.”
The nurse set the tray down on the rolling cart and glanced at Ayden.
“That isn’t unusual,” she replied.
Whoosh. The wind was completely knocked out of my sails.
“Does it mean something?”
“It can but not always.”
I stared at the plastic-wrap covered oatmeal and nodded. “Well, thank you for this.”
She pressed her lips together while I stood drowning in emotion, mainly discouragement. I know it’s their job to be realistic, but it’s mine to be hopeful.
I reached for the orange juice and tore the top off when a startling honking sound blasted through the air, resulting in my dropping the open container on the tray. Panic started flooding through me as another long and drawn out honk echoed into the room.
I looked at the nurse for some sign and she smiled. “Now that is a sound you want to hear.”
“Why? What does that mean?” I asked.
“He’s fighting the ventilator and attempting to breath on his own. I’ll go page the doctor.” And like that she left me alone in the room with a flock of geese and Ayden. My entire world went from despair to cautious hope, and all I wanted to do was scream at the top of my lungs for him to wake up. Instead, I leaned over the hospital bed and placed my mouth next to his ear.
“You’re so close. Keep it coming,” I whispered, swiping a kiss along his cheek. I saw his chest rise more severely with each honk of the ventilator, and I prayed for the doctor to arrive soon.
“By the way, you know that secret you’ve been keeping from your parents all these years?” I asked. “Your dad has known since the beginning, and he is so proud of you.”
Another clench of jaw made my stomach flutter with hope.
“We’re all proud of you: Mason, me, Brandy, TBD Rhodes.”
The muscles in his neck tensed.
I reached underneath the blanket and found his cold fingers, intertwining them with mine.
“I’ve got a surprise for you in Bermuda. It’s all planned down to the tiniest detail. You know how you wanted to know the gender, and I thought we should keep it a surprise until the end? A few weeks back, I realized you were right. It would be way easier to plan. So I had our doctor forward the results to our event coordinator. If you’d just wake up…” His eyelids twitched and I stopped talking as I swallowed down a huge lump of joy. We were getting close. I knew it in my heart.
“You’ve promised me a lot of things, Ayden, and I intend on holding you to every single one.”
His hand squeezed mine, and my heart raced as my eyes stayed on his. Another chorus of honks blared from his ventilator.
“That’s right,” I said, squeezing his hand back. “Keep it coming. Open your eyes before the doctor gets here.”
I waited for a flutter of lids, but none came, and the tension in his hand released.
“Your brother wanted to start a bet on who you’d wake up for first. None of us were really in the mood, but I have to confess that it would make me extra happy if I were the one who pulled it out of you.”
His chin moved slightly.
And then nothing.
No honking.
No twitches.
I let out a sigh and glanced out the window. The sun had completely risen, and the sunlight was overtaking the room. I removed my hand from his and walked over to the curtains, scooting them closed to block out some of the light. I walked back over to Ayden and slid my hand back in his.
“We love you, Ayden, and we’re here for you whenever you decide to join us.”
His head turned slowly to the side, and his eyes opened as if he’d just awoken from a good night’s sleep. No words came as I looked into Ayden’s beautiful blue eyes.
It wasn’t until his eyes connected with mine that I realized he had no idea who I was.
With the exception of Mason, everyone had returned to the hospital.
Ayden was awake!
And he was off the respirator.
Things were good.
Really good.
Except that he didn’t remember me.
Doesn’t remember me.
I saw a flicker of recognition when his mother, father, and sister came into the room. The same flicker I so desperately wanted to receive. I shoved the undeniable pain into a faraway place and tried not to be as selfish as I felt for wanting to be remembered.
I was important.
But I was so grateful he remembered his parents and sister. I really was, with all my heart, grateful. I let out a sigh and watched his mom and dad talk to Ayden as if he’d only suffered the flu, and I stayed back sitting on the recliner I had shoved back in the corner.
The doctor advised that I let him come to things naturally.
But there was nothing natural about this situation. Ayden and I were supposed to get married and have our baby.
His mom flashed me an understanding glance as she held Ayden’s hand, which caught the look of Ayden so he looked over my way. He hadn’t looked at me since his eyes first opened. He didn’t smile. In fact, the complete opposite happened. The grin he was wearing fell from his lips when our eyes connected.
So here I sat, but it wasn’t about me. It was about getting Ayden healthy.
Brandy walked over and took a seat in the metal foldout chair.
“How are you holding up?” she asked.
“Totally fine. The doctor said this happens in a lot of cases, and it’s generally temporary.” I let out a deep breath. “But not always.”
“It’s temporary,” Brandy assured me, but we both knew it was an empty promise.
It was hard to imagine that I’d been deleted from Ayden’s memory. Of all the events in his life, I wanted to believe our upcoming marriage would be a priority, one that was important enough to remember.
“It’s all fine. Just enjoy your brother and relish the moment. It’s a big deal,” I said, the knot twisting tighter in my belly.
I glanced over at the door and saw Mason stride into the room, grinning from ear to ear as his eyes fell on his awake twin. He jogged to the side of the bed and snaked his arms around Ayden, almost raising him from the bed.
“That was too intense, man.” I heard Mason whisper. “Too intense.”
My heart stopped as I watched Mason let go of his brother, and the same blank stare canvased over Mason, his own twin brother. Ayden’s gaze flashed to his parents, hoping to be informed about who this stranger was that nearly pulled him out of bed. I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly.
“This is your brother, Mason,” their mom said. Her voice was calm, soft, showing no hint of concern.
Mason’s brows furrowed and his neck snapped to look at his dad. “What? He doesn’t remember me? That’s ridiculous. It’s like he’s looking in a mirror when he sees me.”
“He hasn’t looked in a mirror recently,” Brandy said quietly.
The defeat in Mason’s eyes wrapped around every cell in my body, and I knew his plight was much worse than mine.
“I’m sorry,” Ayden muttered.
Sorry?
The words killed me and, by the looks of it, did the same to his family.
“Mason, why don’t you take Lily to get some coffee?”
“She can’t.” His gaze met mine as he corrected his blunder. “Sounds like a good idea.”
I nodded and stood up, giving a hug to Brandy before I followed Mason out the door. Once we reached the hall, I gave Mason a big hug.
“He doesn’t remember me either,” I whispered.
Mason’s embrace tightened around me as we both let our new reality settle around us in the middle of a hospital hallway.
Somehow, we’d get through this.
Together as a family.
This was a slight bump in the road followed by a rather complex detour, but we’d get to our destination one way or another.
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Mason and I slowly released one another. He slid his finger along his cheeks, wiping away the dampness from his face. Mason was also always full of boisterous one-liners and lively comebacks. Not now though. What we faced left us both speechless.
We walked silently to the elevator and made our way to the first floor without saying a word. It wasn’t until we placed our orders with the barista that we found our voices.
“This is wrong on so many levels,” Mason said, waiting for his drink. Mine had been called, and I was now forcing myself to take a sip of the hot chocolate.
“I can handle it if he doesn’t remember me because he’s stuck with me. All he has to do is look at himself in the mirror, but for him not to remember you. I’d trade it all away so quickly, Lily. I really would. You’re the mother of his child.” His drink was called, and he grabbed his cup off the counter while I tried to absorb what Mason just said.
Hearing someone else verbalize my very fear of Ayden not remembering me, or the fact that I was pregnant with our child was nothing short of paralyzing.
“I’d feel worse about it if he remembered me but not you,” I whispered, taking a seat.
Mason shook his head in protest. “It all really sucks. Plain and simple. What did the doctor say about it?”
“That it’s common and not to be too alarmed.”
Mason let out a grunt. “We aren’t supposed to be alarmed that Ayden can’t remember his fiancée or his identical twin brother. Right.” He took a swig of coffee.
I nodded in agreement. “I know there are way bigger things in life to worry about, but I wonder if I should cancel everything in Bermuda…”
I felt guilty for even bringing up the wedding, when we were still trying to get Ayden to recognize his own flesh and blood, but it suddenly felt like Mason was one of the few who I could talk about it with. After all, we were both scratched from Ayden’s memory.
Mason shook his head. “Absolutely not. We’ll get him there one way or another. Even if he’s kicking and screaming down the aisle.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the vision.
“Wasn’t exactly how I dreamed of our wedding day, but at this point I’d take it.” I smiled, feeling slightly better than when we’d gotten on the elevator for our drinks. I appreciated the Rhodes boys and their sense of humor.
Would Ayden still have the same humor I fell in love with?
“Let’s get back up there and try to shake some sense into the idiot,” Mason teased.
“I’m not sayin’, but I’m sayin’,” I burbled, feeling immensely better that I wasn’t the only one the idiot forgot, even though it pained me to the deepest level I’d ever known.
We tried to remain positive and lighthearted on the way back up to see Ayden, the closer we got to his room, the more the feeling slipped away.
Laughter filled the air, and Mason and I traded glances.
Great! Seemed like things were back to normal minus two very important people.
Mason grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door with him as we both turned our attention to Ayden. He was sitting up in bed now, and many of the cords had been removed from his body and head. From here it looked like he only had an IV.
Ayden’s gaze fell to our hands, and he looked over at his parents. Their eyes fell to our hands, and something sparked between us all.
“Tori is going to kill me,” Mason whispered. “But I’ve got an idea. Maybe what Ayden needs is a real-life enactment, a history lesson of sorts.”
My brow rose in surprise that he’d even consider such a far-out way of dealing with things. I glanced across the room at Brandy who seemed to be following Mason’s harebrained idea.
Mason’s parents walked over next to Brandy and sat down, while Mason and I walked to the foot of the bed. Every time I was around him, I prayed for a flicker of recognition to flash across his gaze.
I bit my lip and glanced at the floor, ready for Mason to start whatever it was he had planned, but instead, Ayden spoke.
“You’re Brandy’s friend from college,” he said grinning. He pointed at me and wagged his finger.
My heart knocked my ribcage with each pounding pulse as I watched Ayden try to put the pieces of the puzzle—our life—together.
“Uh, yeah. Kind of. That’s how it started,” I stuttered. My hands became clammy, and I glanced in horror at Brandy. That was it? That was all her brother could remember?
“Not good enough, man,” Mason said, under his breath.
Without warning, Mason wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. His hands ran up my back as he his lips hovered so close to mine. I think we were both hoping his brother would say something before it happened. Before the kiss.
I shut my eyes, not because I enjoyed it, but because I was scared to death that I was about to kiss Ayden’s twin brother. Mason ran his fingers into my hair, and his lips touched to mine. I assumed we were doing the church kiss, but once his lips parted, I knew he was fully committed to this role.
There was no connection. It was like kissing a sibling, but we both persevered until I realized Mason hadn’t taken a breath since the entire ordeal began. I slowly released my mouth from his and gently slid one more soft kiss across his lips before turning to face Ayden.
Ayden’s eyes were blazing with fury. He gritted his teeth and attempted to disconnect himself from whatever was keeping him in the bed. Mason smacked my butt and Brandy laughed; all the while Ayden’s anger boiled over into swift action.
“Who do you think you are?” Ayden demanded, trying to stand up. His eyes flew to meet Mason’s, but his equilibrium hadn’t quite caught up to his returning memories.
“I’m your brother, trying to speed the process along, for all our sakes.” Mason grinned and winked at me.
Ayden centered himself back on the bed, trying to stop the room from spinning as he pulled his stare away from Mason’s. Ayden’s mom started to rush toward him, but her husband held onto her hand not letting her get very far.
I walked over to Ayden. “Are you doing okay? Do you need me to get a nurse?”
Ayden’s gaze remained focused on the ground as he attempted to slide back into the bed.
“I’m fine,” he snapped.
“No. You’re really not, but that’s neither here or there. Let me help you get back into bed.”
Ayden waved me away, but I refused to leave. Instead, I straightened out the sheet and thin blanket that Ayden had thrown to the side in his haste. He attempted to lift his legs into bed, and I noticed them shaking. So I quickly wrapped my hands around his ankles and brought them up and over, while he maneuvered his upper body where he wanted it. I swiftly covered him with a sheet and the blanket and didn’t look into his eyes. I was too afraid of what I’d see.
“I can’t wait to walk that woman down the aisle,” Mason almost shouted from the foot of the bed. “She’s a real keeper.”
I hadn’t expected Mason to keep going, but Brandy couldn’t keep in her giggle.
“That’s enough, Mason,” his mom warned.
And I hid my chuckle at how his parents still felt the need to reprimand their thirty-year old children. The Rhodes family dynamics never ceased to amaze me.
Ayden’s blue eyes flashed to mine, and I couldn’t help but widen my grin when I saw a flicker of recollection that was deeper than being Brandy’s friend flash through his eyes. Ayden narrowed his eyes and bit his lip as if he was about to say something and then thought better of it.
I would take that expression any day over the blank one I’d been receiving all morning. Mason apparently didn’t think the progress was quite fast enough so he sauntered over and gave me a big kiss on the cheek and then snaked his arm around my waist because he could. I saw another dash of anger run through Ayden’s gaze, and it puzzled me. An emotional response was being pulled from him over seeing me and Mason together, but it wasn’t enough to put all the pieces together.
Mason let go of my waist and walked over to his bro
ther and smiled. He dipped his mouth next to his ear and whispered something none of us could hear, and before we knew it, Ayden tossed an empty plastic cup at no one in particular, and Brandy’s eyes widened in horror.
I didn’t think this was how the doctor had imagined Ayden’s recovery would go, but he’d never run into the Rhodes brothers before either.
“Settle down there,” Mason said, taking a couple steps back.
Mason stood next to me, and I glanced over at his mother, who looked like she wanted to cart Mason out by his ear, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened within the minute.
“What do you have to say for yourself?” Mason asked.
Ayden’s jaw clenched and his eyes flashed to mine. I saw despair sitting right behind his expression, and I realized Ayden was coming back slowly, but he was coming back. I had to commend Mason. He really knew what buttons to push. I’d planned on taking the slow and easy road.
“How are things progressing?” the doctor asked, wandering into the room. He glanced around at all the various expressions and then focused his eyes on the patient and shook his head. “You tried to get out of bed?”
“I did. I’d like to get out of here, but my head is spinning, and I have a headache,” Ayden said, and I wanted to run over and squeeze him, hold him tightly until it was all over.
“Not unusual for that to last for days, sometimes weeks.” The doctor slid his electronic tablet out of his coat pocket and started punching things into Ayden’s medical chart.
“When can I go home?” Ayden asked.
“Do you even remember where home is?” Mason asked wryly.
Ayden looked like he wanted to deck Mason, but thought better of it.
“It depends upon your progress. Could be as soon as a day to more than a week.”
I caught Brandy’s eye as she did the math between Ayden coming home, possibly remembering or not remembering who I was and the wedding. Her expression changed to dismay, and I realized we came up with the same result.
Whether Ayden truly believed or remembered that Mason was his brother, none of us knew. But once Brandy whipped out a tiny mirror from her purse, there was no disputing the fact.
Beyond Promise Page 9