I, on the other hand, provided for lots of wiggle room and no pretending. I was at least on his radar, but I wasn’t getting my hopes up. I saw the blank looks and puzzled expressions sneak up on Ayden when he glanced my way.
Mason refused to tell any of us what he whispered to Ayden, but I believe it got Ayden a little more interested in me.
But not enough to remember me or us.
We were all exhausted from the day at the hospital, Ayden included. He had fallen asleep about an hour ago; around the same time we all left his room and said our goodnights. The difference was that while everyone went their separate ways to the homes they shared with loved ones, I stayed firmly anchored at the hospital.
They all thought I left when they did, but I just drove around the block, parked, and went to the espresso stand to get a ham sandwich and decaf latte. Even if Ayden didn’t remember me, I certainly couldn’t forget him. He was the one who was supposed to be waiting for me at home. I had nothing and no one to go home to so until he chased me away, I’d be by his side.
I finished up my sandwich and went back upstairs. The lights in Ayden’s room were off, but there was still the faint glow of the reading light by his bed. I wanted to crawl in bed with him so badly and snuggle next to him.
I swallowed down the worry that getting to do that might not ever happen again. Since Ayden’s somewhat acceptance of his brother, my mind whirled with the realization that just because Ayden might—at some moment—remember me, didn’t mean that he’d still love me. There was no promise that he’d recall who we were together, how we met, and what we envisioned for our future. There was also no guarantee that because I was carrying his baby he’d remember the excitement we both felt when we found out we were expecting. There was no promise of anything.
I walked around the side of the bed and stood at the window watching the entry to the emergency room. I wondered what our view would be of if they moved him.
Why did I care?
I turned around and scared myself when I saw Ayden’s gaze on me. Our eyes connected, and my heart started fluttering with anxiety. I felt like I was crossing a line or a boundary by being in the room with him alone.
“I’m sorry. I was just—”
He shook his head and slowly sat up.
I noticed something resting behind his gaze, but I refused to believe it. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I couldn’t afford to indulge in the possibility. Not yet.
“You have nothing to apologize for,” he replied. “I’m the one who’s sorry, Lily. I’m so, so sorry. I never should’ve stepped into the ring.”
My breath hitched, and I shook my head, afraid to assume that he remembered anything or anyone beyond the fight.
Like me.
“I can’t imagine what I put you through…” his voice trailed off as he attempted to slide off the bed, but I took two steps forward and stopped him.
“Do you re…”
I didn’t want to ask. I couldn’t finish my question. I didn’t want to face the rejection.
Again.
The soft glow of the reading light highlighted the blue in Ayden’s eyes as he reached his hands out toward me, and I started to let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, he did remember me.
Remember us.
I took his offered hands, and he pulled me into him. I stood between his open knees as he clasped my hands tightly.
“Please say you’ll forgive me,” he whispered.
I was scared to say anything at all. I was afraid he’d fall back asleep and forget this glimmer of his history.
“You did nothing wrong, Ayden. Absolutely nothing. You were injured. It’s not your fault,” I whispered.
He pulled me in closer, making the gap between us almost invisible.
“I should’ve pulled out of the fight. I was selfish.”
“You weren’t selfish. You were undefeated. You wanted to prove to yourself you are the best. And you did. You won. None of us could have predicted what happened after…” my voice trailed off.
“I don’t even remember,” he said.
His hands untangled from mine, and he settled his arms around my waist.
Every single cell in my body was igniting with hope and joy at the mere thought of Ayden remembering us, all of us, as he held me. He rested his head on my chest, and I felt the weight of his world blend with mine, and I knew we’d be able to get through whatever was thrown our way.
“I love you, Ayden,” I murmured.
“I love you, soon-to-be Mrs. Rhodes.”
Hearing those words come from his lips made me ignite with a muted hope that we still had the possibility of a future together. The expectation of becoming his wife was uttered from his lips, not mine. Relief spread through my body, and the surreal world I’d been numbly moving through, collided with an overwhelming amount of sharp emotion. He remembered.
Ayden straightened up and released his arms from my waist. He glanced at the recliner I’d set up for myself and then back at me.
“I know it’s not much, but would you like to sleep here? We can put the rails up so neither of us falls out,” he offered.
My heart immediately melted into a world of bliss.
Ayden remembered me.
“Do you think it’s okay to do that?”
“When have you ever worried about rules?” His brow arched.
He really did remember me!
He scooted back on the bed and rested on his side, patting the empty space next to him.
I was worried about snagging his IV cord, but he maneuvered it out of the way as I crawled next to him. He wrapped his arm around me and placed the IV cord over us as he hugged me into him.
“I was so scared, Ayden,” I whispered, feeling his body next to mine. “So scared.”
He tightened his hold and buried his head into my neck.
“You don’t have to worry any longer. I’m here.”
I nodded and felt his strength wrap around me as I settled into the first good night’s sleep I’d had since spending the weekend at Mason’s.
It wasn’t the sunlight or nurses that woke us up. It was the excited chatter of Brandy and Mason as they walked into the room, spotting Ayden and me. I felt the bed shaking back and forth as I tried to open my eyes and blink away the blurry mess in front of me.
“Knock it off,” Ayden growled at his brother.
My eyes still hadn’t adjusted to the light so I only saw the faint figure of Mason extending his arms to wiggle the hospital bed.
“Seriously, dude. My stomach isn’t back to normal yet.”
“Sorry,” Mason chuckled. “I got kind of excited to see my experiment worked.”
“And what experiment was that?” I asked, lowering the bed rail so I could crawl out. Even though I had a great night’s sleep, every muscle in my body ached.
Mason’s brow quirked up slightly. “I couldn’t have been that forgettable.”
Brandy’s voice rippled. “Or maybe you were.”
I placed my hands over my mouth. “Oh, God. That’s right.” I glanced at Ayden and shook my head. “Your brother tried to cop a feel with your fiancée.”
Mason shook his head and walked over to his brother, giving him a hug.
“Oh, please. You know you liked it.”
Ayden’s eyes narrowed on his brother.
“Why don’t you explain to us all whatever possessed you to kiss Lily right in front of Ayden?” Brandy placed her hands on her hip and stared at her brother.
“First of all there’s no denying that Lily is unbelievably hot, beautiful, brilliant. The list goes on and on, but my God, woman, your breath was so bad.” Mason winced and pretended to wipe his mouth with his sleeve.
“Are you serious? I’ve been at the hospital all day and night and day without brushing my teeth. It was your brilliant idea to dive right in. Common sense should’ve told you to swim at your own risk.” I crossed my arms in front of me and glared at him. “Besides, you liked it.”
“I’ll never tell,” Mason sneered.
“That’s probably a wise idea,” Brandy chuckled, rubbing Ayden’s shoulder.
“Well, when Lily and I were downstairs getting a coffee.” Mason returned to his story.
“You drank caffeine? I thought you were trying to avoid it?” Ayden interrupted, turning to me.
My heart sang with happiness. He was remembering so much, so quickly.
I shook my head. “Nope. Still no caffeine.”
“Do you want to hear my brilliance at work or not?” Mason questioned.
“It’s probably the only thing that will get you of this mess you put yourself into,” Ayden joked.
“So as we were downstairs, it occurred to me that even though you weren’t able to immediately recall memories of me or Lily, maybe somehow if I reenacted a scene with Lily, it might pull something out of your subconscious. I was hoping it would speed up the process. In all honesty, it hurt that you didn’t remember me, but it destroyed me that you didn’t remember Lily. I thought what if all of our memories are like little movies just waiting to be viewed. My hope was that you’d see yourself kissing Lily.”
“You did get pretty pissed,” Brandy offered.
Ayden pulled his brows together. “I was furious and I couldn’t figure out why.”
“How did you remember her?” Mason asked.
Hearing his question made my pulse race.
“I’d fallen asleep, and I started dreaming about Lily. I woke up and saw her standing by the window and realized I wasn’t dreaming, those were actual memories of us together.”
“I’ll take total credit,” Mason replied grinning.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” I teased.
He rolled his eyes.
“Does Tori know?” I asked.
“She sure does. I used a whole bottle of mouthwash, and she wanted to know why.”
“Aren’t you on a roll,” I chuckled.
“I almost forgot. Tori gave this to me to give to you.” He reached into his back pocket and whipped out a new toothbrush and handed it to me. “And then this.” He pulled out travel-size toothpaste, which I snagged from him.
“Please tell her, thank you.” I headed to the bathroom and turned on the water and unwrapped the toothbrush, squirting plenty of paste onto the bristles. Just as I started brushing, I heard the doctor come into the room.
Figured.
Ayden relayed the good news about his memory, and the doctor examined him and asked him about his pain level.
“Well, I think if your progress continues, I’d feel comfortable sending you home later this afternoon.”
I squeaked excitement with a mouth full of toothpaste and turned around to spit it out. That was the best news ever. I quickly rinsed, leaving most of the grit still in my mouth, and flung myself into the room.
“I would want you to take it easy for the next week. No exercise. Mostly resting and taking life easy.”
“He’s not very good at sitting still,” I told the doctor.
“I gathered that by looking at him, but it’s imperative that he doesn’t do anything to interrupt his healing process. If he feels up to it, slow walks around the block would be fine. But nothing more.”
Brandy traded glances with me.
“He has a trip to Bermuda planned in a couple weeks. Is he allowed to travel?” she asked.
“I advise against all air travel for the first ten days. After that, if his symptoms are gone, then I don’t see why a flight to Bermuda would be a problem.”
Ayden smiled widely and his eyes connected with mine.
I literally felt like a teenager getting ready for my first prom. I let out a deep breath and couldn’t help but smile back. To have come so close to losing Ayden, only to have him wake up and not remember a thing about me, to now seeing him look forward to our wedding did all kinds of crazy things to me. This wasn’t only a rollercoaster of emotions; it was an epic upheaval of life itself, and something told me in some form or another this was what living life with Ayden would be, and I was beyond okay with that.
“So how do we know if he gets to go home this afternoon?” I asked.
“The nurses are going to come in and remove the IV fluid he’s been receiving, along with the catheter. If he can walk around the corridor without much dizziness, we’ll discharge him.”
I nodded and glanced at Ayden, who grimaced slightly.
Dizziness hadn’t been his friend this morning, but I knew we both wanted him home.
“Any other questions?” the doctor asked.
We all shook our heads and he left the room. Not long after, the nurse appeared and chased us out so she could remove his catheter and IV.
Brandy grabbed my hand in the hallway and jumped up on her toes.
“How did it happen? How did he remember you this morning?” she asked.
“It wasn’t this morning, actually.” I grinned. “When you all left, I stayed behind and went back up to his room. He started by apologizing…” I pushed down the joyous tears that wanted to take over the moment. I wasn’t the crying kind, and no matter my exhaustion level, I wasn’t going to start now.
Brandy shook her head. “I can’t even tell you what I was feeling last night. I couldn’t sleep. Aaron and I were up all night wondering what we were going to do.”
I nodded and smiled. “That’s how I started my evening too. I honestly couldn’t fathom it. This entire ordeal has felt like one bad dream, and it all started with Viktor.”
Viktor.
“Speaking of him, has anyone heard about what happened to him after his buddies drove him away?”
Mason’s eyes fell to the floor, and he kicked an imaginary stone as if he was in first grade.
“What?” I almost whispered.
“He was in pretty rough shape, but we took it too easy on him, avoiding the vital areas, at least from what I heard. He went to the ER and got stitched up and only had a few bruised ribs.”
I shivered.
“Hopefully, we can put it all behind us.”
Mason nodded solemnly. “It didn’t bring out a side of me that I’m proud of.”
“It wouldn’t. We all went through a lot.”
Brandy agreed and let out a breath. “How long does it take to pull out a catheter?”
Mason shrugged. “I’ll go call our parents and let them know the good news. I know they were as devastated as the rest of us when they left.”
“Amazing how life can change so quickly. Now if we can only make it to the wedding.”
Brandy laughed. “Honestly, with the way things have been going, I’d say no promises.”
“That’s kind of the theme I’m sensing.”
Ayden was home, spread out on the couch. I’d snuck in a quick shower after I got him situated the first time. We started with him lying in bed for the first thirty minutes of being back home, but that was all he lasted. So I brought out a ton of pillows and blankets and made him comfortable on the couch. He wasn’t very good at following instructions, and I figured it was good I learned how to deal with this trait before we walked down the sandy aisle in Bermuda.
In order to navigate the next many decades with a man who stands when you say sit and sits when you ask him to stand, I now had time to mentally prepare myself for the practice of reverse psychology.
“You probably want me to keep the light on, don’t you?” I asked Ayden from the kitchen.
“No. It’d be great if you could switch it off,” he replied.
I hid my grin and turned off the overhead canister lights, leaving the soft glow of the lamp in the corner. The doctor had advised against harsh lighting for a few days to help with the headaches. He also wrote down that light meals would help settle Ayden’s stomach. I knew if I came right out and told Ayden I was making soup, he’d groan about it, no matter what his stomach told him so here went reverse psychology experiment number two.
“Would you be into tacos tonight?” I asked, glancing over my
shoulder before I opened the fridge. “We’ve got the tortillas, cheese, tomatoes…”
“Maybe that tortilla soup you make, babe. Might be a little better for the moment,” Ayden called over from the couch.
Mission accomplished.
“Yeah. That sounds perfect.” I smiled and pulled out the tomatoes, onions, and garlic from the fridge. Could it be this easy? How had I never thought of this before?
“Mason and Brandy want to come over tonight. I’m guessing you need to take it easy, but I thought I’d check.”
Ayden picked up a catalog and flipped through the first couple pages before tossing it over to the coffee table. I honestly had no idea whether or not he was up for company.
“That’d be fine,” he said, reaching for the remote.
The doctor had mentioned that bright lights from a television could set off his headache, but I debated about saying anything in this instance. I didn’t want to sound like his mother.
“Okay, I’ll let them know. Gabby wanted to visit too. She’s been a nervous wreck, and since she wasn’t allowed in the—”
“Totally fine,” he assured me with a smile.
I grabbed my phone and sent a group text to everyone, inviting them all over for tortilla soup. Within seconds I got their responses and had to laugh. They didn’t let the grass grow under their feet.
I poured the ingredients into the pot and placed the lid on top to let it simmer. I glanced over at Ayden, who happened to be watching my every move in the kitchen. I’d been so worried I’d never get to experience a moment like this again. And here I was and here he was, and I wouldn’t change anything for the world.
“You’re so sexy.” Ayden’s eyes stayed focused on me, and I shook my head, chuckling.
“I’ve been crashing at a hospital and feel like I crawled out of a bomb shelter.”
“Well, you obviously went into the bomb shelter looking better than most.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t slide the grin off my face as I trundled over to where Ayden was lying.
I took a seat at the end of the sofa and he shook his head, patting right next to him as he scooted toward the back of the cushions.
Beyond Promise Page 10