Come for Me

by Ford, Mia

  As soon as she leaves I slump back into my chair, disappointment crushing me. I don’t know what it is, I haven’t ever been the sort of person to chance after the wonderful love story, I’ve always been much too practical for that, but since it’s getting nearer to my thirtieth birthday every single day I kinda yearn for it.

  But not just with anyone… with the man I cannot have.

  I groan and slump my head forwards, hitting it on the desk hard. This is stupid, I cannot keep falling down this rabbit hole, I need to stop it already. Not everyone gets the love story that they want, and I’m sure that’s okay. That might just have to be me…

  37

  Tommy

  “It feels weird to be back here,” I declare gruffly while darting my eyes around the bar. “It’s been, what, six months? I should be used to it since I have to keep coming here to visit you, but I’m not really.”

  “Yeah, you aren’t here enough.” Jayden pats me on the back. “Busy with work, I suppose.”

  It still feels weird that we started our journey into the armed forces together, just to end up going in completely separate directions. Not that Jayden wanted it to, an injury forced him into a desk job.

  “Well.” I raise my pint glass. “I’m here for all the big events, aren’t I? That time you were nearly shot dead, the day you got married, and now I’m here to celebrate you about to have a baby soon.”

  “Well, not soon. There’s still a while to go yet but the sentiment is awesome.”

  I look at my best friend, noticing the shining love behind his eyes. He really has been a different man since getting it together with Savannah. I tried to warn him against love since I had my heart shattered when my ex-fiancée cheated on me, but it’s actually done him well. I want to open myself up to the possibility myself, but it still freaks me out. The idea of giving myself wholly to someone again is a little bit too much.

  “So, how is Savannah with the pregnancy? She doing well?”

  “Oh yeah, really good actually. She’s really glowing with it. She looks fantastic. Peter is excited to have a baby brother or sister as well.”

  I itch to ask about Savannah’s best friend, the one woman I’ve shared a genuine true amount of chemistry with, but I can’t. We never told anyone and in the last two years since I skipped out on her once the court case was done, we haven’t talked about it either. I suppose it would be weird to bring it up now.

  I’m afraid if I ever allow myself to talk about Pippa I just won’t stop and that’s no good.

  “Oh right, sure.” I take a big swig of the drink. “I’m sure you’re both really happy about it.”

  “So, how have things been with you on that front? Found anyone yet, or still playing the field?”

  Both, I want to answer since that would be the truth. I’ve been sleeping around to try and find anything like the connection I shared with Pippa. Just to prove to myself that it wasn’t individual to her and it doesn’t mean anything, but I can’t. It’s all just been a lot of empty and meaningless sex. Nothing has inspired me, sparked that desire in me, or truly turned me on. I don’t know why I can’t seem to escape her.

  “Oh, you know me,” I answer blandly while refusing to meet Jayden’s eyes. “I never change.”

  I half expect him to challenge me on that since I once told him that I’d try to open myself up more, but thankfully he doesn’t. He must be able to somehow sense that this isn’t easy for me.

  “Well, good. We wouldn’t want you to change now, would we Tommy…?”

  I tune him out as my eyes capture a vision that must be in my imagination it’s so wonderful. It’s the stunning sleek black hair and pale face of the woman who’s been in my mind for ages now. The vision of beauty that always enters my fantasies, when I’m alone and sometimes when I’m with other people. It obviously cannot be real because what are the chances of both me and Pippa being in The Stag tonight, but it feels real.

  I shudder, remember the feel of her hungry lips dragging up and down my cock, her fingers piercing my skin as her faced pinched in pleasure, the feel of her walls clamping around me as she came…

  Oh fuck!

  The woman turns and flips her hair over her shoulder showing me a neck that I’ve definitely had my mouth all over before. It’s her, it really is. Despite the odds being stacked against us fate has us in the same place at the same time. It feels impossible, yet it’s actually happening. I don’t know what to do with myself.

  My heart thunders against my sternum, my throat runs dryer than it’s ever been before, I even get fucking butterflies swirling around in the pit of my stomach. It’s ridiculous.

  She has the sexiest looking red swing dress ever known to a man. It clings to her curves, flies out at her hips and skims her knees, I can see a hint of cleavage. I just want to keep looking at her.

  “Are you okay?” Jayden suddenly grabs my attention back to him. “You look lost.”

  This would be the moment to tell him that I’ve just spotted Pippa. We’re all friends and it would be weird for me not to, but for some reason I don’t. I keep her presence a secret just for me.

  “Oh yeah, sorry. Just tired.” I rub my eyes to highlight my point. “Lot of travelling today.”

  “Well, we don’t have to make it a late one anyway. You’re here for a few days, right?”

  “Yeah, I’m not headed back until after next weekend, so I suppose we have plenty of time.”

  “Good.” Jayden clinks his glass against mine and grins. “It’s good to have you around anyway. I know it can’t be that way at the moment, but I would love to see more of you. I miss you, buddy.”

  “I’ll make an effort, I promise you. I’ll try and be about more.”

  We smile at one another sharing all the past that we’ve had together. It’s been a wild ride for a lot of it, but we’ve managed to come out of it still just as good friends as we were beforehand.

  “Oh, hold on.” He tugs his cell phone out of his pocket.” Savannah is calling me. I better just head outside to hear her. It’s so loud in here. You don’t mind it, do you?”

  He gives me such a guilty look that I can’t help laughing. “Dude, I can cope by myself for a moment.”

  I watch him leave through the front door of the bar and my eyes are immediately drawn back to Pippa. She’s got a magnet within her and I can’t resist her pull. She isn’t looking at me, she’s laughing at something the guy next to her is saying and my hand immediately clutches around my glass in anger. It’s misplaced, this woman isn’t mine, I can’t exactly hold any claim on her since we slept together a couple years ago and I’m the one who walked out, but I feel that deep claim in my chest that she belongs to me. Like she’s always been mine.

  Turn away, I warn myself. Jayden will be back in a moment so just stop looking.

  But my body doesn’t listen to my brain. Instead I hop on to my feet and I find myself marching towards her as if this is exactly what I planned to do. My heart and head are in a battle, and my brain definitely isn’t winning out.

  “Tommy,” Pippa gasps in surprise as she senses me closing in on her. Her eyes widen in surprise and I can almost see her gulping down a thick ball of emotion. “What are you doing here?”

  We’ve been in the same room before, many a time since we slept together, but this feels so damn different. There’s a thickness to the air and I’m pretty sure it’s being created by me. I don’t know what I’m doing.

  Without even answering her, I take her hand in mine and I tug her with me into a dark corner. She falls willingly and the moment I press her up against the wall I can see her breasts rising and falling with her deep breaths. She doesn’t ask me what the hell all of this is about, but I can see the question there behind her eyes. I wouldn’t be able to answer her even if she asked me, I honestly have no idea.

  I cup my hand around her cheek, my heart darting with emotion. The thick sizzling burning chemistry pulls me back towards her, even though I know it’s wrong. I shouldn’t go
anywhere near Pippa unless I’m going to make her mind, she isn’t the sort of woman to fuck around with, but I can’t seem to help myself.

  “Tommy, we…” Pippa starts, but the complaint falls apart on her lips. She caves, molding her body into me ever so slightly and I feel a deep stirring within me. I’ve missed this feeling, I haven’t had it for two long years and it’s phenomenal. It makes me question what my reasons have been for keeping away.

  I lean in, shutting my brain off completely, and I crash my lips against hers. I’m filled with that deep, beautiful set of fireworks exploding in my stomach as we kiss. It’s wrong, but it feels oh so right.

  38

  Pippa

  What the hell just happened?

  I don’t know what to think as I leave the bar not long later. My brain darts everywhere as I try to process all that weirdness. Not only did I not know that Tommy was around, I sure as hell wasn’t thinking that he’d kiss me, even on the buildup to the moment it seemed like it was impossible. We just don’t do that…

  But this time we did do that, we did kiss, and it only confirmed that I will never find anyone like him.

  “Are you okay?” Janice asked me curiously. “You’ve been very quiet for the last hour or so.”

  By some miracle, no one saw us kissing. Not even Jayden. I couldn’t even go and speak to Jayden afterwards, I was too stunned, so I simply half waved to him across the bar. Thankfully they didn’t stay for long.

  “Oh yeah I’m fine. Just a bit drunk that’s all.” I smile thinly. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay good. Well, there’s a cab here and I know you live quite far so you better get into it.”

  “Yeah, right, thanks.”

  Really, I want to walk, to think things through, but I do have that heady head rush that comes from drinking too much. Only I know I’m not drunk. It’s all because of him. I don’t want my friend to question me more though, so I slide into the car and I reel off my address. As he takes me home, I remind myself all the reasons why this is, and always will be, a bad idea:

  He ran out on me before, I reminded myself. He made it clear that he doesn’t do commitment. I want commitment, especially from him.

  There’s something about Tommy, something about him that lures me in deeply. I will always want something serious from him, I can’t help it. He’s just so incredible. The chemistry we share is off the scale and I want some more of it. But since it’s very obvious that will never happen, I need to pull away.

  The kiss should never have happened. I should’ve avoided it. There can be no more.

  I pay the cab driver and stalk towards my apartment with sheer determination. I won’t let that happen again, I will be strong in the future. I absolutely won’t go anywhere near Tommy again in that way. I can’t…

  “Oh my God.” My mind is blown off my shoulders by the sight of Tommy standing outside my front door. He’s like a bottle of sheer temptation, luring me in, dragging me towards him. But I have just told myself that I’m going to be strong. I cannot go back on that now. “What are you doing here, Tommy?”

  His eyes glint, I recognize that look well. Immediately, there’s a deep tingling in my panties and I almost fall into his arms. I didn’t realize how difficult this was going to be.

  “I’ve come here to see you.” I freeze to the spot while he closes the gap between us. “Obviously.”

  “Well… you can’t.” I try to move backwards but it doesn’t quite happen. “You need to go.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.” His hands work their way around my waist. I can’t stop myself from shivering as his hands brush all over me. “And I think we both know that you don’t want me to leave either.”

  The words get caught in my throat. I can’t get them out however hard I try because deep down he’s right. A deep heat pools in my panties and I can’t seem to resist him. Even rationality doesn’t come into play.

  “Yeah, thought as much.”

  His lips meet mine once more and I fall against him far too willingly. Any resistance immediately melts away and I stagger to my door to unlock it. I know that he’ll leave me again, I’m well aware that this can only end in heartbreak, but the deep buzzing vibrating throughout my body overshadows that. I can’t stop it.

  Once inside my home we paw at each other’s clothes like wild animals. I’m being stupid but it feels so fucking good and I can’t turn my back to those amazing sensations right now. His shirt slumps to the ground, my dress that I chose so carefully to fit in with the cocktail theme is discarded like waste paper, I yank his trousers down… and I groan loudly as I get my hands all over that thick, muscular body once more.

  My head lolls back and my eyes slide closed as I feel an even deeper strength to him that wasn’t there before. It’s like I’m exploring him all over again and it feels incredible.

  Tommy kisses down my body as he walks me backwards until I fall onto my couch. My thighs part willingly and he falls to his knees with a thump on the ground. He tucks his hands under my butt and whips my panties away as if they’re nothing. Then at the moment I crash back down onto the cushions his mouth hungrily connects with me. He swirls his tongue relentlessly around my clit, causing the pleasure to build intensely.

  I almost fall apart there and then. His mouth is off the scale phenomenal.

  “Oh fuck, Tommy.” My hands knot up into his hair as I fix his head in place. The pleasure is coming, I can feel it building already as if I’ve been waiting for this moment for two long years - which may be closer to the truth than I care to admit - and I don’t want it to end. “Fucking hell, Tommy, that feels so good.”

  He slides his fingers into me, fucking me with his hand while his tongue consumes me. The sensations at the same time are almost too much for me, I don’t know if my body can handle it. My head spins, I see stars, I think I’m about to lose control any moment, I’m tipping over the edge…

  “Oh my God.” Just at the moment I thought it was about to let loose, Tommy whips his mouth away. I can feel a complaint about to bubble up in my mouth, but it doesn’t set free because he grabs hold of a condom and he pulls it apart. Instead of complaining, I lean back and I wait with a deep thrill bursting. I watch him roll the condom over his throbbing erection which is an image that’s pure sex. I bite down on my bottom lip to stop a million and one expletives from running free. This might be wrong, but it feels so right.

  Tommy climbs over me and he hovers above me. For a brief second, he rests his forehead against mine. I see a look of what could almost be a loving gaze. But I don’t want to get too lost in that, I don’t want to get myself consumed because the last time I thought that he might genuinely like me, he ran away afterwards.

  This is only tonight, I remind myself. Just have fun, enjoy it for what it is…

  Then, before I can torture myself further, he grinds his hips into me and fills me up deliciously. I roll my hips to meet him and arch my back to press into him. My whole body meshes with his and it feels incredible. I’ve missed this. I know I’ve missed it but feeling him again just reminds me how intensely.

  “Oh fuck, Tommy.” I wrap my hands around him and bury his face into my neck. Tommy kisses me hard, matching each thrust and it sends me twirling and spinning into space. “Oh my God, Tommy.”

  I can’t stop saying his name, over and over again. It feels gorgeous in my mouth. I wish I could say it all the time. But even as I fall over the edge and I tip into the deep, tumbling abyss of pleasure which shatters and buckles through my body, I know that this will have to be the end. Again, he will run, I know this. So, I ride out the sensations, making them last for as long as I can. I want to just feel him for as long as I can. I need to savor every second, to cling onto it until I can’t keep it any longer.

  Once the hot bliss has subsided, Tommy sits his butt down on the couch and he pulls me onto his lap. His hands massage my breasts as I ride him hard and fast. Each grunt and groan is just for me and I trap them in my brain to keep them locked away
in there. I know I’m going to have to remember every God damn second of this to get me through the next few years of torture until maybe we end up here again.

  I guess happiness isn’t in my cards, instead I’m destined to do this dance with Tommy forever. Even if it kills me.

  39

  Tommy

  “So, then, Tommy,” Sergeant Graham says smilingly down the phone. “Have you had any more thoughts about our discussion last week? I don’t want to push you on it, but they will need an answer soon.”

  “Oh, I’ve done nothing but think about it,” I lie through gritted teeth. “I just haven’t made up my mind yet.”

  This will be one of the biggest decisions of my career and I want to get it right. I suppose that’s why I’ve tried to push it to the back of my mind. I’ve always found my best choices come from instincts rather than thinking.

  “Well, it’s obvious really, Tommy. Do you want to lead a squadron on tour, to see some of the world and really make a difference - that’s the choice I would pick for you by the way because I know you’ve got the stones to do a good job - or do you want to stay here and train the new recruits? Just as an important a job since you will be in control of getting all the new faces ready for the world of war, but it’ll leave you stuck here.”

  Once upon a time, that choice would have been easy for me too. When I joined the army, all I wanted to do was get the hell away from this place. After finding my fiancée, Laura, in bed with another man all I needed was to go as far as possible. Another country would have been ideal. That’s what I’ve always been working towards…

  But now, with the choice put right in front of me, I don’t know what to do. Something is blocking me, stopping me from making the choice which really should be simple. I can’t quite put my finger on it but the keenness to leave just isn’t quite what it was. I suppose I’m long over what happened, it was years ago now, I don’t have any intention of feeling sad about Laura anymore, she wasn’t right for me anyway, but there’s something.