by Ford, Mia
“Oh fuck!” She wraps her tight little lips around me quickly and licks me all over. The waves of bliss this sends cascading through my body are relentless. They’re powerful and overwhelming. “Fucking hell, Pippa.”
She licks my tip for a while, coaxing out some of my sweet, salty pleasure. My eyes fall closed, my head swims in the endless oceans of desire. She’s good, so fucking good, I can’t believe how good…
“Oh, Pippa, you don’t know what you’re doing to me, you have no idea, it’s too much…”
Just at the moment I think I might explode between those sexy plump lips of hers, she whips her head away and she climbs on top of me. With a smirk, Pippa wastes no time. She rolls her own panties down and slides her fingers into where I was feeling her only moments before, where I want my damn cock to be in a moment. I’m watching her in a stunned silence, she’s like a fucking incredible live sex show. Fuck me, she looks amazing. Touching herself like that is too much. I can hardly stand it. Now I’m the one who’s shaking all over, losing myself in the intensity of this moment. Pippa really is everything. It’s so hard for me not to reach out and grab her already but I want to watch those delicious fingers of hers brushing into her for a couple of seconds longer…
Or, at least until I can’t take it anymore.
“Come here, you,” I grow needily. “And stop that before I lose my shit.”
With a joyful smirk, Pippa does as I asks and she hovers herself above me. She angles me into her and pauses for just one torturous moment before she slides herself all the way down, burying me into her. She stretches around me, she fits me in and it feels fucking wonderful. She’s always too wonderful for words.
“Oh fuck, Pippa… Pippa…”
I buck my hips to meet each thrust and I can honestly barely stand it. The memory of Pippa’s lips wrapped around me is still strong, so it isn’t long before I’m trembling all over, about to fall apart. I can’t lose it yet, I don’t want Pippa not to be pleasured, so I push her off me and slide my whole body down until she’s sitting on my face instead. I lick and suck her clit, refusing to move even an inch so the pleasure is like an onslaught. I hold tightly onto her hips to keep her in place until she’s screaming louder that I’ve heard her do before. She shudders, I can feel her collapsing forwards just as her juices soak my lips, which means it’s time to move again.
I shuffle my body upwards, loving the peaceful expression on Pippa’s face. She slides back onto me happily and thrusts and bucks just as hard as she was before, so by the time I explode, we’re both extremely satisfied. As the pleasure shoots endlessly from me, I can feel me and Pippa sharing something intense and powerful, something that another person might mistake for love, if that’s what they wanted to see…
As we collapse next to one another on the bed, panting desperately, I wrap my arms tightly around Pippa. The future that we could have together swims in front of my mind and I really want to reach out and grab it, I want to make her mine. I know that I could do it as well. If I take the training job, I can be around to see where this could go between us. It’s something that I can change in the future if I wanted to as well. It might be an important choice, but I know they’ll be open to me moving in any direction if I ask them to, I don’t have to worry.
Really, it’s just a case of what I want right now and with Pippa in my arms, the answer feels simple.
Maybe I have just made another good decision using my instincts alone after all…
42
Pippa
The light streams brightly through my bedroom window since I didn’t think to shut the curtains last night in the heat of the moment, so it’s quite early when I prize my eyes apart. Immediately, a smile spreads across my face as I feel the strong arms that can only belong to Tommy wrapped around me.
I slide my fingers through his, loving the feel of him squeezing me back. This has to be the start of something, it just has to be. There’s no other explanation that makes sense. He was all resistant, trying to avoid us becoming anything, but then I questioned him and he kissed me, we ended up in bed together. By this point it has to mean that we’re actually going to become something. This isn’t just me imagining it.
I giggle delightfully as I wonder what’s going to happen next. It’ll be wild. I half want to wake Tommy up, to ask him what he thinks about it all, but he looks so peaceful sleeping there, I don’t bother. Instead, I turn to look at him and I just watch his deep breaths being sucked in and blown out again. There’s a real beauty to him while he rests. All the angst he usually carries around on his shoulders is long gone. He’s just happy.
Knock, knock.
I jump as I hear a rapping at the door. I’m irritated for someone to ruin the moment I was just sharing with this amazing man. I wanted to lie around and watch him for just a little bit longer.
Knock, knock.
The second time, I jump up. I don’t want Tommy to be disturbed by whoever it is. Especially as it’s probably just the postman with some letter that won’t quite slot through the box. I grab my kimono on the way to the door and I wrap it around with myself. It doesn’t cover me totally, but it’s enough.
“Coming,” I call out quietly. “Hold on a moment.”
I swing the door open, expecting it to be someone I could just get rid of in a heartbeat, but I’m stunned to see the smiling face of my best friend looking back at me.
“Oh, Savannah.” I blink a couple of times. “What are you doing here?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.” She chuckles and pushes her way inside. This is how she normally acts, we practically share each other’s homes, we always have done, but today I’m annoyed. I don’t want her here when Tommy is, that makes me way too nervous. I don’t want anyone to find out like this, me and Tommy haven’t even had a chance to talk properly yet. “We’re going baby shopping.”
“Oh, right.” I slap my palm against my forehead. “Sorry, I did forget. Erm… let me just go and get dressed. I’ll only be a moment. Do you want to make us some coffees before we go?”
“Yeah, you look like you need it.” Her little joke immediately has my hands smoothing down my hair. It’s all mussed up after the night of passion with Tommy, which makes me look guilty. “You had a rough night?”
“Oh right.” I chuckle and wave my hand dismissively, trying to play it off. “I er, yeah sure…”
I’m just about to tear off into the bedroom about a million miles an hour to secretly warn Tommy that Savannah is here so he can wait and leave once we’re already gone so no one sees us, but as I spin I run smack right into him. He’s nearly naked too, just to add insult to injury. It’s so damn obvious what’s happened.
“Oh my God, Tommy,” Savannah exclaims in shock. “What are you doing here?”
I feel a heat creeping up through my body. Embarrassment curls around my toes and creeps up through my veins as I see Tommy’s face pale and Savannah’s flicker in recognition. All of this, before we even know what the hell is happening between us, is about to be blown wide apart. I know Tommy, he’s already really nervy about commitment due to a betrayal in his past, so this doesn’t bode well.
“What’s going on?” Tommy finally growls out. “What is all of this? Are you trying to humiliate me?”
The accusation stings so much I can’t find my voice. My brain goes completely blank, it’s like there’s a big black hole inside of me and I don’t know what to do about it. What’s he even accusing me of?
“What is that supposed to mean?” Fortunately, or unfortunately I wasn’t quite sure yet, Savannah doesn’t have the same issue as me. “Why would Pippa be trying to embarrass you? Why would you even feel humiliated to be caught with her? She’s incredible.” She flings her hands onto her hips and glows with burning rage. “Do not tell me that this doesn’t mean anything to you, Tommy. Don’t tell me Pippa is just another notch.”
I suck in a deep breath, needing to know the answer to this myself. Everything I felt so sure of only moment
s before has now dissolved into nothingness. The look on Tommy’s face tells me this isn’t good news for us.
“It’s nothing to do with you, Savannah,” he shoots back. “And me and Pippa can have fun if we want.”
Fun… I’m back in the middle of the dance. It’s just fun to him, still I mean nothing. Every single God damn time I get myself excited that it might become something real, I get it thrown back in my face.
“Tommy, you have crossed the line.” Savannah flames all over. “This is low. Don’t be this guy…”
“Don’t you be the one interfering, Savannah, it’s nothing to do with you…”
I can’t stand it. My heart constricts and shrinks. I can feel it sinking into my shoes, I’m about to fall apart. There’s no way that I can let Tommy see this happening to me, so I take off into my bedroom and I collapse onto the sheets. As a sob racks through my body, I inhale deep and all I can smell his him. He’s everywhere.
This is horrible, the worst of them all. Now I truly am too deep, and I don’t know how to get myself out of it. The yelling from the other room gets louder and more vicious. I block my ears with my hands so I can’t hear the words being screamed. I don’t need to, it barely matters, it’s all just bad news for me.
Tommy doesn’t want me. He never has and he never will.
The only time I react is when the front door slams so hard that it shakes all the walls in my house. I strain my ears, I don’t want either of them to have left but I need to know who’s gone. Savannah or Tommy. The house remains to silent, I half fear that they’ve both left me, but soon Savanna’s shadow fills the door frame.
“I’m sorry,” she tells me quietly. “I didn’t mean to lose my shit like that.”
“No, it’s fine,” I muffle back. “I understand. It’s… well, I don’t know what it is really…”
Savannah sits on the bed next to me and she rubs my back softly. “What’s happened here, Pippa? With Tommy, I mean? It wasn’t just a one night thing, was it? I know he said that it was, but there’s more to it, right?”
“He said that?” It stings all over again. “He told you that it was just one night?”
“It wasn’t, was it?”
I sniff and shake my head. Then I move myself up into a sitting position. “No, it wasn’t. It’s only happened twice now. Last night and the night before, but it also happened one time before.”
“It did? When?”
“A couple of years ago.” I offer her a one shouldered shrug. “After the court case.”
I feel bad because that wasn’t a night about me and Tommy, it was all about Savannah, but she doesn’t care about that. She pulls me in for a hug and holds me close to her. Her hug is comforting, I appreciate it a lot, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about all of this. By this point, I don’t think anything will.
“I’m done with him now though,” I mutter pitifully against Savannah’s chest. “Never again.”
“Don’t worry,” she replies. I can hear the sadness and sympathy in her tone. “I’ll look after you. I won’t let him near you again. Honestly, Pippa, you can do so much better than him.”
I don’t answer her because I disagree. Unfortunately, if the last two years have told me anything, it’s that there isn’t anyone better for me than Tommy. He’s the only man who can make me feel the way that he does. It’s just unfortunate that he doesn’t feel the same way about me.
It seems like I’m the one who isn’t good enough for him.
43
Tommy
Fuck, fuck, fuck. What the hell am I doing?
I shove my backpack further onto my back and stare at the departure board. I need my God damn train to turn up faster. I’m about to lose my freaking mind if it isn’t here soon. The last thing I can do now is change my mind again. I’ve royally fucked it. We’re done here, I’m done here. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to come back, it will be a shit show. Not only will Pippa hate me forever for running out on her again, Savannah won’t speak to me since she thinks what happened with her best friend was still just me being a player. Jayden’s going to be pissed off as well. I’ve upset Pippa and his woman. He isn’t going to be amused. I’m in for a bollocking.
“Oh, fucking hell,” I mutter to myself as I pull my cell phone out. Seeing Jayden’s name on the screen doesn’t help things. Looks like I’m in for it sooner rather than later. “Hey, Jayden, I don’t have much time to talk…”
“Let me guess,” he interrupts wryly. “You’re at the train station headed back?” I don’t say anything but I don’t need to. Jayden knows me well enough to understand. “Right, I see. So, I take it you’re off then?”
“I have to go, I don’t have any choice.” I rake my fingers through my hair. “I can’t stay, I cannot stick around and put down roots. You know that about me, buddy. Don’t make me feel bad about this.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad about anything. I just want to understand.”
I fall back from the edge of the platform and rest up against the ice-cold stone wall while I try to calm down. I’m still all freaked out and pissed off about Savannah finding out about me and Pippa before I had time to work out what I was going to do. Her rashness forced my hand and now I’m a hot raw mess.
“What do you want to understand? I slept with Pippa. It was a… mistake.”
I hate describing it in that way. It cheapens that something so beautiful and strips it to the bare bones. But what else can I do? I sure as shit can’t start pouring my heart out to Jayden. That just isn’t me.
“It wasn’t though, was it?” Jayden asks with a softness to his tone. “Because it’s happened more than once, and if I know you as well as I think I do, you wouldn’t risk our friendship that many times over something that didn’t mean anything to you.” Again, I’m silent. “So, why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”
I sigh loudly, actually feeling a little pull to get it off my chest. I suppose since Jayden knows everything about Laura, he will be the safest person to discuss it with. “I don’t know, man, it all just got really messy.”
“You first slept with her right after the court case? I cannot believe that you didn’t tell me.”
“It seemed wrong to talk about it then. You and Savannah were just really getting started, you had just proposed to her and it just sort of happened.” I huff again, hating my weakness. “I ran away afterwards so it was pretty embarrassing. I left her some crappy note just saying that I couldn’t do it.”
“Oh, wow.” Jayden sounds stunned. “That’s pretty heavy all on its own. So, it’s been going on for two years?”
“No, no.” I shake my head, not that he can see me through the phone line. “Not for two years, it just happened the once then never again.” I sigh loudly. “Not until this visit anyway.”
“What’s changed? Why did you go back to her after all this time?”
“Trust me, I’ve been asking myself the same question over and over again. I don’t know. I guess I just… I saw her that night me and you went out and she looked really good. Too good. Also, there was a guy talking to her and making her laugh. I could see that they were flirting and I didn’t like it at all.” I ball my fists up by my side at the memory, which is crazy since I’m the one walking away and leaving her at the mercy of every damn guy on the planet. “I just lost control of myself. I always seem to lose control of myself around her.”
“Oh wow, so something happened that night? That’s insane.” I can almost hear the cogs in his brain spinning as he tries to work this out. “I can’t believe all of this has been going on and I haven’t noticed it.”
“Well, you don’t need to worry about it because it’s not going to happen any longer. I can’t keep doing this, I can’t keep toying with her, it isn’t fair on both of us. I need to end it today which is why I’m getting on this train and I might not be coming back for a while. I’ll probably be on tour for a long time anyway.”
“Yeah, right, I see.” Jayden soun
ds sad. “I mean, I wish it didn’t have to be that way, I wish you could just stick around and work things out with Pippa. We’re all going to miss you a lot if you leave, but of course, it’s your choice and I respect that. I don’t want you to do anything that makes you unhappy.”
“You aren’t mad at me for sleeping with Pippa and wrecking things? You don’t hate me?”
“Of course I don’t hate you, you idiot. You’re my best friend. I just want you to be happy. Is this what makes you happy? Running away again? Going away on tour and leaving all of this behind?”
I’m silent for much too long, I can barely think never mind speak. I don’t know what makes me happy anymore, none of this seems to. I’m stuck between what’s right and what feels good, between what I should do and what I want to. I’m trapped in a mess that feels very much like it might be one of my own making.
“Tommy, I just want to remind you that Pippa isn’t Laura. She won’t destroy you at the first opportunity. I know that you’ve been hurt in the past, I get that, but this is a completely different situation.”
“I know that, I get that, I just… I don’t know, it’s hard for me to let it all go.”
I feel stupid, I feel childish for clinging onto the past in a way that doesn’t let me move forward, but it’s too much of a risk with Pippa. She’s too intertwined with the people that I love. I wish I could have fallen for anyone else in the world, anyone but her, she’s much too complicated for that.
“You just need to work out what will make you happy,” Jayden says softly. “I mean really happy.”
The loud roaring of the train zooming up to the station interrupts us both and makes me realize that the time has come. I need to make a decision one way or another. I have to make my choice. Do I step onto the train and move forward with my life? I could go on tour, I could stay in foreign countries for long enough to make sure that I get over Pippa. Maybe I could even find someone new, that could be fun. Someone who isn’t in my friendship group who I could easily and actually fall for…