Devil (Savage MC--Tennessee Book 1)

by Jordan Marie

  “Maybe I do. Will you take me seriously, please?”

  I let out a deep breath and turn to put my feet on the ground and face her.

  “You don’t need to worry about me, Torrent,” I tell her seriously, leaning my hands on my legs and watching her.

  “You don’t know Wolf like I do, Logan, you don’t understand how he can be,” she says and she looks lost. I get up and walk to her. I pull out the chair that Diesel had earlier and basically force her to sit down. Then I slide down on my knees in front of her, bracing my hands on each arm of the chair. I have a lot of questions I want to ask her, but somehow when I open my mouth only one comes out.

  “And that leads me to one question, Torrent.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Just how well do you know, Wolf, Angel? And did you know him when we met?”

  I stare up into her eyes and wonder exactly why I need to know the answers.

  I only know I do.

  Torrent

  I try to sort through all of my thoughts. Then I frown up at the man who is causing me even more problems than I already had. I wish I knew what it is about him that appeals to me so much. It could be the sparkling deep blue eyes that shift from mischievous to sexy and then serious. Maybe it’s the smile, or the wrinkle he gets in his brow when he concentrates on something. Or maybe it’s his scent and the way I react to it. I read somewhere that people are attracted to each other by scent. Maybe that’s it, I have no idea… I just know how he makes me feel.

  “You do realize that’s two questions, Logan.”

  “I realize you haven’t answered either one,” he answers. I look down at his hands on the chair. On one hand, his fingers are covered in ink and I’ve seen men with tats my whole life, but it’s never been quite this sexy before.

  “I’ve known Wolf my entire life. He was my dad’s best friend. He helped raise me.”

  “I’m pretty sure he doesn’t think of you as a daughter, Angel.”

  “You’re right… he hasn’t for a while. He says he’s in love with me.”

  “And how do you feel about him?”

  “I don’t know. It’s complicated. I love him.”

  Devil frowns and I know my answer doesn’t make him happy.

  “Maybe you should leave then, Torrent.”

  “I shouldn’t even be here now,” I respond, knowing he’s right. He falls back on his legs, moving away from the chair.

  “Then why are you?” he asks.

  “I was worried about you. I needed to warn you.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “What?” I ask, getting he’s upset but annoyed at his response.

  “I said bullshit. You’re not here to warn me.”

  “I am. I was trying to protect you, Devil.”

  “Will you drop that act with me? It might work on someone else, but it’s not going to work on me.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I tell him, getting up. “And I’m starting to see this was a mistake.” I take one step toward the door before Devil grabs my leg and he does something to my leg that unbalances me—causing me to tip forward. I start falling and he pulls me down on him. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “That’s what I’m asking you, Torrent and you need to quit lying to me.”

  “I’m not lying to you!” I growl, pushing against his shoulders, trying to get free.

  “Then maybe you’re lying to yourself.”

  “You’re crazy!”

  “I probably am, but there’s no way you’re in my hotel to warn me your boyfriend has me in his sites.”

  “But I was! And he’s not my boyfriend!” I huff, and for some reason I’m starting to panic. My heart is rapping heavily against my chest.

  “You said you loved him,” he says and this time he’s growling.

  “Not like that! Will you let me go!?!?” I cry out when he won’t let me push away from him.

  “Then why in the fuck were you wrapped all around him at the bar?”

  “I wasn’t wrapped around him! We were…”

  “What?”

  “We were on a date! I agreed to give him two weeks to convince me we would… we could…”

  “I don’t believe this shit. You gave him two weeks to convince you to spread your legs for him?”

  I reach up to slap him, but he grabs my hand, making me want to scream again.

  “You’re an asshole!” I tell him when I can’t get any satisfaction with hitting him. “And I agreed to date Wolf for two weeks to see if there was anything there.”

  “Date?”

  “Date!”

  “Christ, what is it about you that makes a man tie his balls around your little finger and jump through hoops for a pat on the damn head?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I guarantee that Wolf has never dated a woman in his life. He’s only doing this to get to you and he’s jumping through your hoops to get there. Just like you had me jumping through hoops to get to you when I thought you were a goddamn nun!”

  “I never asked you to jump through hoops, Logan,” I answer, trying to defend myself.

  “No, you kept coming to me looking sweet as sugar with a body that promised nights of sin.”

  “I never promised you anything, Logan!”

  “Then why did you keep coming back? You did it because you knew you had me on the line and—”

  “I did not!”

  “Then why? If that’s not the reason then tell me why, Torrent. Why did you keep coming back to me if you knew you could never be mine?”

  “Logan—”

  “Tell me!”

  “I don’t know,” I try and defend, but he brings his hands up and puts them on each side of my face and doesn’t let me look away.

  “You do. Tell me, Torrent. Tell me,” he urges.

  “Because I couldn’t stay away,” I finally answer, even though I don’t want to. “There! Are you happy now, Logan? I kept coming to see you because I couldn’t stay away. I wanted to see you,” I answer. By the time I get to the last words I’m whispering. He pulls my face closer, and doesn’t stop until I look at him.

  “Then, why did you come to me that last day and push me away? Why did you disappear?”

  “I didn’t have a choice. Dad was worried about the mole. He didn’t want me to bring attention to myself. It was dangerous. There were things... I needed to help my dad, Logan. I was going to…”

  “And?”

  “I was kidnapped and then Dad tried to save me and…”

  “Oh God, Angel. Come here,” he whispers, kissing my forehead and pulling me deeper into his arms.

  I should resist him, but since I’m being honest with myself right now, I have to admit I don’t want to. This is yet one more reason I’ve been resisting Wolf. There’s only been two people who make me feel like I’m whole when they hug me.

  My father and Devil.

  Devil

  It takes some maneuvering, but I manage to get up from the floor carrying Torrent. She’s holding me and sobbing into my neck. She’s so full of pain and I had no idea. I sit on the bed and resume my earlier position. Once I’ve reclined back on the pillows, I make sure Torrent is comfortable and I let her cry. I don’t say anything; now isn’t the time for words. I content myself with holding Torrent, combing my fingers through her hair, kissing the top of her head and breathing her in. God, I’ve missed her. I missed her even when I didn’t realize it.

  “It’s okay, Angel let it out,” I whisper.

  “I shouldn’t be here. I… I needed to warn you,” she murmurs.

  I should let it go at that, but I find I can’t. I don’t know where in the hell this is going. I don’t even know what we are, but whatever else happens I want nothing but honesty between us.

  “That’s not why you’re here, Angel. You knew I was leaving. That’s not why you’re here. Admit it.”

  “Okay fine. That’s not why I’m here,” she huffs and her bottom lip stic
ks out in a pout. I can’t resist moving my finger along it, stroking it.

  “Why are you here? I want to hear you say it, Angel.”

  “I missed you, Logan,” she answers.

  It’s a simple statement and there’s no huge meaning behind it, but knowing she missed me—like I miss her—slides deep inside of me and makes something shift. I wanted Torrent before. Now I don’t know if I can let her go.

  “I missed you too,” I respond, because it feels like I should let her know she’s not alone.

  “I got you all wet,” she mumbles, her hand petting my shirt.

  “That’s usually my line.”

  She looks up at me and rolls her eyes. Then elbows me.

  “You’re such an ass, and it has not escaped my notice that you tricked me, Logan Dupree.”

  “What do you mean I tricked you?”

  “You got me on the bed while I was vulnerable and weak.”

  “Are you saying I took advantage of you?”

  “Are you going to admit it?” she asks.

  I move her so she lies on top of me and our faces are close together. Her body is pressed against mine like this and even with our clothes on it feels perfect. Maybe more perfect than anything I’ve ever shared with a woman.

  “That wasn’t my intention, but I’m not a damned bit sorry, Angel.”

  She pulls her head back enough so she can see me clearly. Her fingers dive into my hair and she uses the pads of her fingers to press against my scalp tenderly.

  “I’m not either, but I shouldn’t be here. My mind is a little messed up, Logan and my life… I have a lot to sort out right now.”

  “This is not so different than the first time we met—except then I thought I was going against the Big Guy upstairs. Can’t tell you how fucking glad I am that you’re not really a nun, Angel.”

  “It might be better if I was. God is probably more forgiving than Wolf.”

  “You realize the way you talk about Wolf doesn’t fill me with confidence that you’re safe around him.”

  “I’m fine. Wolf would never hurt me,” she defends. I frown. I can tell she truly believes that and maybe he wouldn’t hurt her—physically. Instinctively I know that right now is not the time to argue that with her.

  “I guess that leaves us with one question, Angel.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Why are you here with me, when you’re dating Wolf?”

  “We seem to be going around in circles,” she sighs. “Maybe I’m here because I’m a horrible person,” she mutters, trying to avoid my eyes again. I lean up to kiss her forehead.

  “I don’t believe that for a second,” I tell her and it’s the truth. I think Torrent is mixed up and been through a fucking lot.

  “Maybe I’m warring with what I want and what I should do,” she says, looking up at me under her lashes, her lips pressed together and a shudder moving through her body. She’s got so much emotion and fear churning through her body it’s a wonder she can keep going. I’ve seen women on the edge before and that’s definitely Torrent right now—even if she’s trying to hide it.

  “Why should you do anything, Torrent? Life happens. You’re a free person. Why should you do anything?”

  I watch her throat work as she swallows and my gaze is glued to the way her lips purse as she considers my words.

  “Logan… my entire life I’ve kind of done what I wanted. When my dad was in trouble…he asked me two things… to keep my head down and to stay where he put me, so he could make sure I was safe while he got to the bottom of things. Instead of doing that… I went out to meet this man with blue eyes that made my knees weak—even knowing I shouldn’t.”

  “Torrent—”

  “And when he asked me to stay there and be safe, I tried to leave and… and…”

  “Damn it, Angel—”

  “I got my father killed, Logan. If I had done what he asked of me, he never would have walked in there and laid his life down like he did. It’s all my fault,” she whispers and I hate that the tears begin to fill her eyes, sliding out along her face as her body shakes from the need to sob. “It’s all my fault,” she says again. “I killed my father, Logan.”

  “Torrent—”

  “I killed him,” she whispers so brokenly it hurts to hear her. In some ways it would be so much better if she would cry again, let the grief overtake her body. She doesn’t. Instead she looks up at me with tears there, but refusing to do anything about them. They slowly fall while her face is filled with misery. “I killed him,” she repeats and I’m left wondering if I can ever help Torrent heal… or worse…

  If she will let me help her.

  Torrent

  He doesn’t understand. Devil means well, but he wasn’t there. He doesn’t have the nightmares or the memories of my father’s last words. He doesn’t comprehend how cold I feel inside. I’m trying to live my life hiding that from everyone. Mostly I’m afraid if I don’t…if everyone can see how frozen I feel inside, it will be like giving the cold life and it will take me over. I feel like I’m bleeding on the inside and it’s a race against the clock until that moment when I drown.

  The temptation to tell Devil that is there. It’s strong.

  I don’t give in. Telling him will change nothing. There’s nothing I can do to fix any of it. I let myself be weak, ignoring the pain in my chest, and not giving in to the need to fully cry. Instead, I hold onto him until the urge to give him everything passes. I listen to his heart beat against my ear as I lay on his chest. I feel his hand hold me, his fingers combing my hair and I let myself be weak, if only for a little bit.

  “You okay, Angel?” he asks softly a bit later.

  “Yeah,” I lie. “I need to tell you something,” I whisper, afraid to tell him—afraid not to.

  “What’s that?”

  “My dad wanted me to let Wolf take care of me, he wanted… he wanted Wolf… for me, and I… I need to try to see if I can give him that, Logan.”

  Devil’s hand tightens in my hair and I feel the muscles in his body tighten underneath me too. I close my eyes.

  “What do you want, Torrent?”

  “I don’t know if that matters anymore.”

  “What if it did? Tell me, Angel. If you could choose for you, what would it be?”

  “I don’t know…” I whisper and I know my answer disappoints him. I feel his legs shift under me. Before he can move us, I decide to tell him what I want—at least for right now.

  “We should get up. You need—”

  “But I do know if I were free right now, I’d really like for you to kiss me,” I tell him, feeling guilty and more than a little foolish.

  Devil is completely still, not saying anything for a minute or two. I begin to feel uncomfortable and when I try to move off of him, his fingers tighten into my hips—not letting me. I strain against him, feeling foolish.

  “Look at me, Angel,” he urges and I close my eyes before giving in. I stare at him and he doesn’t say anything for a bit.

  The look on his face is so intense, I feel flushed just from that alone. He brings his hand to the side of my neck, holding me there so gently it makes me ache. His thumb sweeps across the corner of my mouth and I prepare myself for his goodbye.

  “Logan—”

  He stops my words by bringing his mouth to mine and swallowing them. I close my eyes, savoring this moment—this stolen moment, that I shouldn’t have. This intense moment that I want more than I want my next breath. My tongue comes out shyly to move across the seam of his, craving nothing more than a simple taste of him.

  Immediately his mouth opens, letting me inside. A vibration of noise moves through him and I can feel it rock through me. He has cinnamon on his breath, the taste is heated, the flavor strong, spicy and only adds to the pleasure. His tongue is slick, wet, and smooth and he uses it like an instrument designed to own me. Never have I had a kiss like this, nor did I know they existed. It’s not consuming, or even hurried. I feel like he is taking his
time tasting me, exploring, and it makes me feel special. I savor it, because I want to commit everything to memory.

  Too soon it’s over and I keep my eyes closed while I breathe deeply, my heart pounding.

  “Give me two weeks, Angel.”

  My brain is cloudy. I have so many thoughts, so much emotion running through me that I don’t understand at first.

  “What?”

  “You gave Wolf two weeks because you feel you owe it to your father. Give me two weeks.”

  “Logan—”

  “Don’t you owe it to yourself to see, Torrent? I get Wolf is who your father chose for you, but he never saw us together. He never got to see the pull between us, or if I can make you happy. I can’t pretend to know what you’ve been through, but I’m telling you whatever is between us is special and worth investigating—”

  “Logan, I don’t…”

  “And whatever you think you know, if your father truly loved you, he would want you to be happy. Give me two weeks to prove to you that I’m the only one who can do that.”

  His words wreck me. They burrow deep inside of me.

  They give me hope.

  But I can’t hold on to that hope.

  “Logan… Wolf, there’s no way he’d… I mean, I moved out of the club. I live at my dad’s house now, but still. There’s no way he’s going to be good with you coming around. I don’t think—”

  “No way he can handle the competition?” he jokes. I want to smile with him but I know there’s nothing funny about this situation.

  “Logan, honestly I…”

  “Torrent, you haven’t seen me in my world. I need you to trust that I can take care of myself. I’m not worried.”

  “You might not be, but I am. I don’t want to risk getting into another bad situation. I don’t think I can handle someone else I care about getting hurt, Logan,” I respond, knowing that it’s the truth. Devil seems to study me for a minute and then shrugs.

  “So we’ll do it like we did at the convent—only better. Let me handle it. I need to hear you say that you will give me two weeks to prove to you that this thing between us is worth holding on to.”