Love's Cold Burn

by Harry, Jessica

  ‘Where’s my drink?’

  ‘What was it?’ asked Slogger.

  ‘A pint.’

  ‘A pint of what?’ asked Tom.

  ‘Lager probably. Who cares anyway. I can drink anything.’

  ‘Anything?’ asked Brian, doubting Who Me’s bold claim.

  ‘Anything Brian.’

  ‘I bet you can’t.’

  ‘I bet I can.’ Who Me’s drunken bravado was about to be tested.

  The noise level had dropped as all the players listened to Brian and Who Me. ‘Five quid says your full of shit.’ Brian offered the bet.

  ‘Your on.’ The boys shook hands vigorously.

  Brian finished his pint and invited a few of the players into the toilets. They returned five minutes later with Brian’s pint glass full of urine. Brian placed the glass of warm yellow liquid in front of Who Me.

  ‘There you go,’ said Brian proudly.

  But Who Me didn’t look as surprised as Brian had hoped. He lifted the glass in front of his face, took a long look at the contents, then downed it in one, slamming the empty glass back on the table.

  For a brief moment, the footballers were silent in disbelief, but then gave Who Me the loudest cheer of the night.

  Who Me held his hand out towards Brian. ‘Five quid mate.’

  Brian didn’t have that much left and thought quickly. ‘Double or quits?’

  Who Me was feeling invincible and shook Brian’s hand vigorously. ‘You’re on, but I feel bad taking your money.’

  Brian picked up Who Me’s empty glass and disappeared to the toilets again. Ten minutes later he returned with a pint of what he described as ‘toilet punch’. As soon as Who Me saw Brian’s disgusting cocktail, he vomited the pint of urine, among other things, all over Slogger and I Got The Last Touch, who had been proudly thumping him on the back.

  This was too much for the landlord who ushered the footballers quickly off his property. All 15 boys made it back to the university, but they were too late for last orders at the union bar and headed for the Coffee Bar.

  The other customers were not pleased to see the footballers, who bullied the staff into turning up the juke-box. They all sang loudly along to Come On Eileen by Dexy’s Midnight Runners.

  Who Me saw his girlfriend standing in the corner and rushed over. They kissed passionately for a moment before Who Me helped himself to her cheese toastie. Tom wondered if she could taste what her boyfriend had been drinking earlier in the evening.

  The footballers were singing Pinball Wizard by The Who as Andrew Leopard walked through the door after an evening in front of the television with Ian Mellor. He was looking for Brian after taking a number of phone calls in the Dickens Court kitchen from a very angry Lisa.

  He quickly found the footballers, but had trouble being heard.

  ‘Brian.’ Even shouting, Andrew’s voice didn’t carry well.

  ‘Brian.’ He tried again.

  After six tries, Brian saw him and turned with a smile and clasped Andrew’s cheeks in his hands. ‘Andrew, my little love muscle. How are you?’

  ‘I have a message for you … I have.’

  ‘Pardon.’

  Andrew shouted. ‘Lisa phoned.’

  ‘Shit.’ Andrew now had Brian’s full attention. ‘What did she say?’

  ‘She wanted to know where you were.’

  ‘What did you tell her?’ Brian asked urgently.

  ‘I said I didn’t know, but she kept ringing back and I told her you were in town … I did.’

  ‘Bollocks. At least you didn’t tell her we would be in the Coffee Bar.’

  Andrew didn’t reply but the pained expression on his face told Brian that Lisa knew he was in the Coffee Bar. ‘Shit. I’d better get out of here.’

  Too late. Lisa was striding towards Brian with menace.

  ‘Bastard.’ She shouted with venom.

  Brian thought to himself that she was quite right to be angry. He had spent the evening drinking with his football friends while she had spent the evening with her parents waiting for Brian to turn up for dinner. He hadn’t tried to call her again. He still had Tom’s two pence coin in his pocket. The noise level in the Coffee Bar had dropped as the customers had all turned to see what was happening.

  ‘Why didn’t you at least phone me? It was humiliating waiting for you with my mum and dad after I had foolishly told them how nice you were.’

  Brian had no answers. He could see she had been crying and he knew she had a difficult relationship with her parents, so this couldn’t have helped.

  ‘I tried to call but you were engaged.’ Brian looked around at the coffee drinkers. Their expressions were condemning. Lisa had their support. Even some of the footballers appeared to be on her side.

  ‘Bollocks you tried. I can’t have been engaged all week.’ Lisa was even more wound up by Brian’s lame excuses. The anger was overpowering and she launched a fist towards Brian’s face.

  The strike was unexpected and the impact, which later gave Brian a black eye of a similar shade to Lisa’s black lips, pushed him off balance and he fell to the ground. Lisa turned and left to gentle applause from the majority of girls in the room and even a few of the men.

  Brian picked himself off the floor and the conversation slowly returned to normal in the Coffee Bar. Through his half-closed eye, Brian saw Tom looking at him in judgement. The look was enough. No words were needed.

  ‘Sorry Brian.’ Andrew needed forgiveness.

  ‘Oh don’t worry Andrew. It’s not your fault. I’m the plank.’ He gently massaged his swollen eye, but was still looking at the door fearing further attacks, when Pink Socks came in with her friends. ‘Look who’s here Andrew.’ His smile returned knowing that the attention would be switched away from him now.

  Andrew watched her buy a drinking chocolate but tried not to look over too often, so as not to appear like a stalker. Good advice from Tom, who joined his brother and Andrew. Next to walk through the door was Colin Dean followed by Hugh Grundy. They had also enjoyed a night on the town despite being heavily overdrawn at the bank.

  ‘Now’s your chance,’ Tom said, placing a friendly hand on Andrew’s shoulder.

  ‘Leopard’s chance for what?’ asked Hugh, who joined his floor-mates.

  ‘To meet Pink Socks,’ said Brian foolishly, as Hugh and Colin didn’t know what she looked like and it would have probably been best kept that way.

  Hugh looked around for a girl with Pink Socks, but the Coffee Bar was too busy to get a clear look at anybody’s feet. It wasn’t hard to pick her out though as Andrew checked she was still there every couple of minutes.

  ‘Aahh … very nice. Out of your league though. Be okay for me,’ Hugh teased Andrew.

  ‘I would,’ said Colin.

  ‘You going to speak to her then Leopard?’ Hugh said with a cocky smile.

  Andrew had waited all term to meet Pink Socks. He certainly wasn’t going to do it with Hugh and Colin in the background waiting to laugh if he failed. ‘Now’s not a good time. It’ll wait … it will.’

  ‘Don’t mind if I have a go do you?’ It was rhetorical. Hugh and Colin headed for Pink Socks, while Andrew simmered with quiet rage. His spots were under control at the moment and, before Hugh and Colin had come in, he had been close to making his first move. His mood went downhill as he watched with despair. Pinks Socks was happy to chat with Colin and Hugh and was even laughing with them. What could she possibly see in them?

  ‘They don’t care about Pinks Socks,’ he said with undisguised anger. ‘They’re only talking to her because they know I love her … I do.’

  ‘No law against it though,’ Brian pointed out, his eye throbbing.

  ‘He’s right. You had two months to do what they have done in two minutes and she’s happy talking to them.’ That was as close as Tom would get to telling his friend ‘told you so’.

  Andrew watched Hugh and Colin laughing and joking with Pink Socks, all the time fearing that they would become her
friend, or more, or tell her about Andrew’s feelings for her. That would be a disaster. He anxiously watched for fifteen minutes before Pink Socks left with her friends.

  Hugh and Colin returned grinning with self importance.

  ‘Karen Fisher,’ said Hugh, waiting for Andrew’s reaction, which was a horrified blank expression. ‘That’s her name Leopard. Pink Socks is Karen Fisher. First year Economics and Psychology. She was fascinated by my theories on unrequited love.’

  ‘You didn’t tell her about Andrew did you?’ asked Tom.

  ‘Maybe. Maybe not.’ Hugh loved seeing the pain in Andrew’s eyes and the disgust from Tom and Brian. Hugh and Colin smiled at each other and left. The others followed moments later, dejected, after what should have been a very upbeat night out.

  Chapter 16

  Festivities on floor three

  Two and a half weeks later, December 13, 1983: Andrew Leopard knocked on Tom Hill’s door. He had an idea and wanted to share it with his best friend. Andrew sat in the soft chair while Tom carried on shaving at the sink in the corner. The radio was quietly playing Islands In The Stream by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. Andrew noticed a new Arsenal team line-up on the wall next to the Altered Images poster.

  ‘I’ve had an idea.’

  Tom grunted for Andrew to carry on. He was doing his neck and needed to keep his skin taught to avoid cuts.

  ‘Now we know Pink Socks’ name, I can leave her a Christmas card in the department pigeon holes and put a kiss on it. Then I might be on her mind when next term starts … I might.’

  Tom couldn’t help noticing that Andrew had started his sentence saying ‘we know’ instead of ‘I know’, as if the pursuit of Pink Socks were a team effort, but he didn’t pick him up on it. He finished his neck and rinsed. ‘Good idea.’ He didn’t think it was a good idea, but anything was better than doing nothing. ‘Oh and I meant to say, yes please to your kind offer. I had a chat with Brian and we’d love to spend Christmas with your family.’

  Andrew was taken by surprise. He had offered, but never expected Tom and Brian to accept. An urgent phone call would be needed to his parents.

  ‘And I also meant to say. Are you okay for the Christmas dinner shopping just after lunch?’

  ‘Yes. Fine.’ The boys on Dickens Court, block F, floor three were all planning a trip to town ahead of their shared Christmas dinner. It was one of many Christmas dinners. Every course, club, group, society and department at Southside University was planning a party. Almost every floor of every block in the halls of residence had its own Christmas dinner planned.

  Four hours later Andrew, Tom, Brian, Hugh Grundy, Colin Dean and Ian Mellor crunched through the deep snow, there had been more heavy snow showers, in the direction of town. Roger Evans had been invited to join them, but had been ‘too busy’. They had also knocked at room one but got no answer from the resident who was now known as The Invisible Man, another Hugh nickname.

  Despite the covering of snow, it was a crisp, dry and bright day with a gentle breeze and even a few patches of blue sky. The sun came out every now and then dazzling the boys as it reflected off the snow.

  Between the students’ union, the last building on the bottom side of campus, and the railway bridge, there was a large grassed area either side of the path. The path was heavily used as the railway bridge was the only link on the bottom side of campus between the university and the town. Many students, full of festive spirit, surrounded by deep snow needed only the slightest catalyst to trigger a snowball fight.

  Who Me had woken up the morning after the football club night out with a very bad headache and a disgusting taste in his mouth. He couldn’t eat anything all day as images of Brian’s ‘toilet punch’ had ruined his appetite. So when he saw Brian walking towards him a couple of weeks later through deep snow, he couldn’t help himself reaching down and rolling a large snowball. Brian was too busy talking to see Who Me approaching and as they passed each other, Who Me pushed the snow in Brian’s face and ran up the hill towards the union building.

  Brian reacted fast and scooped up a snowball, which he hurled at his running team-mate. It missed Who Me, but struck the left leg of Hugh, who had stopped to tie his shoelace. His reply bounced off Colin’s shoulder onto Ian’s ear. In the melee that followed, a few stray snowballs hit a number of innocent passers by, some shook their heads in disgust at the juvenile behaviour of their fellow students, but others joined in. A crowd attracts a crowd and the numbers grew.

  As Hugh set off after Brian, Colin stuck his foot out and the big man fell in the snow face down. Ian, taking a chance, pushed Hugh’s face deeper in the snow. He jumped up quickly to face Colin and Ian. At the same time Tom crouched down behind him on all fours. Colin gently pushed Hugh in the chest and he fell back in the snow over Tom.

  Five minutes later, they were too cold and wet to care who had hit who and they crossed the railway bridge. They were halfway along Thief Lane when Hugh said ‘Karen Fisher’, with a cruel smile spreading across his wide face.

  ‘Pink Socks?’ Asked Brian.

  ‘Yes,’ said Hugh, pointing along the road. Fifty yards ahead of them was Pink Socks with her friends returning from town loaded with carrier bags, probably full of supplies for their Christmas dinner.

  Andrew tucked in behind Tom, hoping she wouldn’t see him. As they approached, Tom asked Hugh, ‘did you tell her about Andrew?’

  ‘Yes, but I didn’t mention his name or point him out.’ Hugh saw no reason why he couldn’t tell them now. He had already enjoyed two weeks of Andrew squirming in fear of what he might have told Pink Socks.

  ‘So she thinks one of your friends likes her but she doesn’t know which one?’ Tom continued.

  ‘That sounds about right, although I didn’t say it was one of my friends. I just said “somebody I knew”. ‘

  Both groups kept walking as they met, but exchanged greetings.

  Colin nodded towards Pink Socks. ‘Karen.’

  She smiled back.

  ‘Merry Christmas Karen,’ Hugh was more vocal.

  ‘Merry Christmas Stu.’ Brian and Tom smiled. She couldn’t even remember Hugh’s name.

  They had almost passed now, but Brian noticed that it wasn’t Hugh or Colin that she looked at as they passed. It was Tom. They held eye contact for a moment. She smiled and Tom quickly looked away. The shared look had only been noticed by Brian. He said nothing and thought very little of it. His brother was a good looking young man and lots of girls gave him a second look.

  Hugh felt uncomfortable having been called Stu, but as the boys turned into North Street, it was Brian who started to feel uncomfortable. Up ahead on the other side of the road, also coming towards them, was Lisa Wentworth-Simpson and her friends. A few yards ahead of the boys, a large delivery van was parked half on the road, half on the path. When the van hid the boys from Lisa and her friends, Brian stopped. ‘I’ll catch you up in the supermarket.’ It was just over a fortnight since Lisa had given him a black eye, which had now mostly faded, but he didn’t want her to see him. It would be awkward.

  A few seconds later the boys crossed the road and Lisa saw them. She stopped. ‘How’s it going Tom?’ she asked.

  ‘Good thanks. We’re shopping for our Christmas dinner. How about you?’

  ‘Just been for lunch. Going back to work now. Your brother not with you?’

  ‘Ahh … Lisa. Yes. Brian. I’m so sorry. He can be such an idiot.’

  Lisa turned to Andrew. ‘And how are you? Looking a bit happier today.’

  ‘Good thanks. Brian is a pratt … he is.’

  ‘You’re a sweety. You all have a good Christmas.’ They headed back to work.

  Brian had been watching from a distance through the cab windows of the delivery van.

  A dark haired man, a good six inches taller than Brian and probably about ten stone heavier had been unloading televisions but noticed Brian peering through the cab of his van. ‘What’s your game boy?’ he snarled.

  B
rian jumped. He had been worried about what Lisa might do to him but this tall driver was a bigger and more immediate threat. ‘Just hiding.’

  The driver didn’t like that. ‘Are you trying to be clever?’

  Brian’s normal answer would have been, ‘unlike you, I don’t have to try’, but given the difference in size and this man’s natural aggression he thought such an answer would be unwise. ‘Hiding from my girlfriend on the other side of the road.’

  The driver’s anger went. He was happy with that. He had a boys-stick-together way of thinking. ‘Oh right. That’s okay then. I thought you was going to rob my van.’

  ‘No. Not at all. Merry Christmas.’ Brian hurried after his friends.

  Further back along North Street, Norman Hill had been watching Brian watching Lisa. He had spent the morning on the bench across the grass outside the entrance to Dickens Court , block F, and had later followed his boys and their friends into town. His urge to speak with his boys had not gone, but watching them from a distance had become a comfortable compromise. As long as they were happy, he would leave them alone, but if things started to go wrong, he would have the opportunity to help them get back on their feet.

  Brian found his friends arguing in the supermarket over which turkey to buy.

  ‘Chicken is the same thing but cheaper,’ Colin insisted.

  ‘There’s only one quid in it.’ Ian wanted real turkey.

  ‘I don’t care as long as it’s fresh.’ Tom didn’t think a frozen bird would defrost fast enough. They were eating later the same day.

  ‘Frozen chicken and we’ll stick it in the bath for an hour.’ Brian couldn’t afford fresh. He grabbed the bird out of the freezer compartment and placed it in the trolley. They argued over every item on their list and it was two more hours before they got back to Dickens Court and put the frozen chicken in the bath.