Memories of Us

by Fabiola Francisco

  I look down at the design of the wood table, tearing bits of the paper napkin in my hand.

  “I’m working on mending that. My pops and I are in an okay place now. But you and me…” He shakes his head. “I’m gonna win you back, Mackenzie,” he promises with a stern nod.

  I’m grateful when our drinks are served. I hold the icy, copper mug and sip the citrusy, spice cocktail. The kick of the whiskey at the end sparks inside of me, warming me.

  “Good?” The corners of Hunter’s lips turn up.

  “Yeah.” I take another sip, feeling as if it’s been a million years since I’ve seen him. With a third sip, I ask Hunter to tell me about Nashville. I take in every word, from the struggles of getting his name and songs in front of people, to selling tee shirts and accessories at concerts, to his ballsy move of giving Cash Knight a demo when he saw him at a bar.

  No matter what happened between us, pride swells in my chest. This is what he always wanted. We both knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he’s sharing his music with the world, even if he’s not the one singing them.

  We are only interrupted when we place our food order and have our plates served. Besides that, I’ve been sucked into Hunter’s stories about what it’s really like to work in the country music industry.

  “It sounds like an amazing experience.” I push my plate forward a bit. “I’m proud of you,” I say earnestly.

  “Thanks, Kenzie. That means more than you’ll ever know.”

  “Well isn’t this cute?” My head whips to the right, eyes making contact with Justin’s. His hands are tucked into the pockets of his slacks, his jaw set straight.

  “What do you want?” I spit out.

  “Interesting to find you here with him when you were accusing me of cheating the other day.”

  “Leave me alone, Justin.” I roll my eyes and speak to him as if he were a small child.

  “Good luck having her give it up, buddy. She barely gave it up to me. Don’t hold your breath for some ass from her.”

  My eyes widen, and I stand, but Hunter beats me. “What’d you say?”

  “She’s a fucking prude, so don’t waste your time,” Justin’s voice raises, and I’m mortified by the eyes looking our way.

  “Show some respect,” Hunter defends.

  “Did you already fuck him, Mackenzie?” His eyes are hard on me. I refuse to cry because of his disrespect. Hunter is toe-to-toe with him, fists clenched. Before I know what’s happening, he punches Justin in the jaw, causing him to stumble back.

  “I told you to treat her with respect,” Hunter’s voice booms.

  Immediately, two of Justin’s friends are by his side, holding him back and dragging him back to the bar. I drop my head in my hands, hiding from the audience.

  “Hey,” Hunter whispers and slides in next to me in the booth. “Ignore him.” His hand rubs circles on my back.

  “I’m so embarrassed,” I murmur into my hands.

  “He’s a dick. I’m glad you dumped his ass. You deserve better.” His voice is soft, honest.

  I lift my head and look into his eyes, his face inches from mine. I blink slowly, drying the moisture that accumulated in my lashes.

  “So fucking glad you did,” Hunter’s voice is low as he leans forward, his breath fanning my lips. My heart leaps, threatening to pump out of my chest.

  “We’re going to have to ask you to leave,” the waitress sneaks up on us. I pull away from Hunter, gaining some space to catch my breath. “We have zero tolerance for violence of any sort,” she shrugs apologetically.

  “With pleasure.” Hunter hands her his credit card and signs the receipt almost immediately.

  His hand wraps around mine, dragging me out of the restaurant and leading me to his car. When we reach the passenger side, he cages me, his lips so close. My palms dig into the cool car door.

  “I really wanna drive you home and take you to bed, but I’m gonna win your heart back before I win over your body.” His words are a promise I’ve craved for so long while I rejected all possibilities of it. My pride contradicts my heart.

  I whimper, my body buzzing from having him this close. My eyes shut for a brief moment, sensing the chill in the breeze that sweeps across my bare arms.

  “Fuck, Kenzie,” Hunter groans and takes a step back. I look up at him through my lashes. “It’s been too long.” He shakes his head and blows out air from his mouth. “Let’s get you home.”

  I step aside when he reaches for the door handle, still silent. I’m trying to capture all my thoughts and feelings at the moment, but the only one I can reach is desire. I’ve missed him so much.

  Once Hunter parks in front of my building, my heart has slowed to its normal pace. I turn to look at him. “Thanks for dinner, and for standing up for me.” I still can’t believe Justin made a scene like that, especially in such a public place.

  “You don’t need to thank me. I did what was right. No woman deserves that kinda treatment, especially the woman I love.” I catch my breath. It’s not the first time he’s said that, but it hammers away a piece of the wall I built to keep him out.

  His fingers brush my hair behind my ear. “You’re so gorgeous. I know this is just the beginning of a second chance, so I want to be patient, show you I mean it when I say I’m here for the long run. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to taste your lips again. I’ve missed them. I’ve missed feeling your hands in my hair and your legs wrapped around me. But more than all that, I’ve missed your heart. We’re gonna make it through this. I swear.”

  “Hunter,” his name escapes my lips in a plea to breathe life back into me, but I know once we start we won’t stop. It was always that way with us. Right now, I want to keep things as uncomplicated as possible. Sex with Hunter will only complicate it all.

  “I know, Kenzie.” He leans his forehead against mine, reading my thoughts. “We’ll have time for all that once we work through all this.” His hand moves over my heart. I nod against his head and smile.

  “Come on, cowgirl. Let’s get you inside.” He smirks and gets out of the car, jogging over to open my door. I grab his hand without hesitation and smile.

  Once we’re by my door I thank him again for dinner.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow. I want to spend more time with you. Share everything I can while I’m here. Maybe convince you to move back to Alabama.”

  I roll my eyes and smile. “Goodnight, Hunter.”

  “Night.” He leans in and kisses my cheek, the stubble of his beard tickling my skin.

  Although we know each other and have loved before, this feels new. Our time apart created an independence from each other that gave us a chance to explore life on our own terms. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m trying to see things positively. Maybe we needed this—the pain, hurt, anger—to lead us to a new beginning. Familiar and unknown make an exciting combination that flutters in my stomach as I think of Hunter all night long.

  I LIE ON THE bed of my truck, Mackenzie’s head on my chest as we stare up at the sky full of stars. I love when we escape on nights like this, just the two of us on a patch of land that belongs to my family, her wrapped in my letterman jacket.

  “You’re really not going to apply to any university?”

  I smile down at her and shake my head. “I’m gonna help Pops on the ranch. When you graduate, we’ll go to Nashville.”

  “You’re so smart, though. Your SAT scores are amazing. Are you sure you don’t want to at least try it?” Mackenzie turns and sits up, hugging herself.

  “It’s not my thing. You’re the beauty and the brains in the relationship,” I tease. We’re getting ready to finish up our junior year and everyone at school is talking about applications and college visits.

  College was never in my plans. I always wanted to take over the ranch. Then music became a passion I wanted to pursue. I want to give that a shot.

  “You’ve got brains, too, and you’re beautiful.” She smiles wide.

  “Oh yeah?” I grab her waist and p
ull her onto my body. My hardness is obvious, and she gasps. “Show me how beautiful I am.” I tease her by thrusting my hips up. Mackenzie throws her head back and laughs. I stare at her glow from the moon above. I move my hands to frame her face and pull her down, my lips attacking hers.

  I run my tongue over the seam of her lips, seeking permission to enter her mouth. She grants me the wish of a greedy man, and I get lost in her lips. Her body moves down until we’re chest to chest. I snake one hand down, gripping her ass and pulling her into me.

  Her moan drives me forward, kissing her as hard as I want to make love to her. She pulls back first, lifting her head so those shiny, blue eyes can stare at me.

  “Hey, Hunter.”

  “Yeah, babe?”

  “I love you.”

  “Love you, too, Kenzie. Always and forever.”

  “Always and forever,” she echoes on a whisper before her lips find mine, soft and gentle.

  I clear my head of that memory, my erection pressed against the zipper of my jeans. I got back from Los Angeles yesterday afternoon, and I’ve been hard ever since. It’s like I’m seventeen again and I’ve got the hottest girl on the bed of my truck.

  We used to lie there, gazing at the stars, talking, writing songs. Mackenzie would help me when I was stuck on a verse. I never could teach her to play the guitar though. She’d get frustrated, put it aside, and say I was the only talented one.

  Luckily, I spent Sunday with Mackenzie. She took me to the beach, and we sat on the sand for hours, talking. It was my first time seeing a beach in person, and I was amazed by the view.

  I wish Mackenzie was coming back with me. I wish she had at least made a decision to move back to Alabama before I left. But I’m celebrating the good things—a weekend with her, unblocking my phone, talking to me.

  Hell, a few weeks ago I didn’t even know where she was. She had shut me out completely from her life while I worked on songs about her.

  “How was your weekend?” Cash smirks when I walk into the office.

  “Good.” I nod.

  “I take it your trip went well.” He leans back on the chair, feet propped on the small table in front of him.

  “Did you see the girl?” Jason asks, eyebrows raised.

  “I did. Got to talk, spend some time together.” They’ve been cheering me on since they found out about Mackenzie, and it feels good to have someone outside of our mutual friends to talk to.

  “Good stuff,” he says.

  “Yeah, man. Thanks guys.”

  “No need to thank us. We’ve all been there,” Cash replies and looks at his bandmates.

  “We sure as hell have,” Cole agrees.

  “Women…” I say.

  “We can’t live without them,” Cash adds.

  “Ain’t that the truth. All right, so what are we workin’ on?” I rub my hands and look at them.

  “Inspired?” Ryder jokes, chuckling.

  They have no idea how inspired I am. I only wish Mackenzie was here to go home to at night, tell her about the songs I’m working on. I can only pray we’ll get there soon.

  We get to work—writing, playing, and singing—before we pause for lunch. The hours fly by and we all lose track of time. I love writing sessions like this, where nothing else exists but the creativity of music. Since I started playing and writing, it became a need. Expressing myself through writing lyrics and spending hours tuning those words into beats and songs was the only time I had that was truly mine.

  I stand from the couch and stretch. Then, I grab my phone and check for any messages or calls. I yawn as I read a message from Dex. He’s playing at some bar tonight and wants me to go. I type back quickly and tell him I’ll confirm this afternoon. I haven’t received anything from Mackenzie after our morning texts. It’s still midmorning for her, but I shoot her a text.

  Hunter: been writin songs n thinkin of you… hope you’re havin a good day

  I don’t know what her schedule is like during the day, but I know she loves what she does. I can imagine her fully immersed in her class, the children loving her.

  “Hunter, wanna go grab a bit to eat?” Cole calls out.

  “Yeah.” I shove my phone in my pocket and follow them out of the office.

  It’s easy for me to get wrapped up in music and not break away for endless hours. One of the first things the guys told me was to take breaks, even if I felt like I didn't need one, so I wouldn’t burn out.

  I’ve met some cool people since I started making a name for myself in Nashville, but Rebel Desire has welcomed me in a different way. Their humility astounds me.

  Before I hop in the car with Cole, my phone beeps.

  Kenzie: my day’s ok…

  Hunter: whats goin on?

  Kenzie: just one of those days… dont worry

  Hunter: im gonna worry. i’ll call u tonight

  I have no idea what could be wrong, but I know Mackenzie and her response doesn’t translate to her being okay. Even through text message she was always happy. Now, I can’t wait until we finish our writing session, so I can go home and call her.

  “Hello?” I smile when I hear her voice

  “Hey,” I reply. “How are you?”

  Mackenzie sighs and I lean back on the couch. “I’m okay, really.” Her voice trembles.

  “I just want you to know you can talk to me. I won’t judge. You know I’d do anything to make you smile.” I lean my head back on the couch and close my eyes, listening to her breathing.

  “It’s nothing, really. Kinda stupid, but I had to tell my principal today that I was moving back to Alabama.” My eyes shoot open at the news. “I know it’s the right choice, and the one I want, but it’s hard. I’m gonna miss this school and the kids. It’s just not feasible to invest so much time and money in a degree for a place I know in my heart won’t always be my home.”

  I listen intently as she speaks, my heart racing. She’s coming back. I can’t let my own excitement get in the way of how she’s feeling, though.

  “Hey, it’s okay. That’s not stupid at all. It will be hard at first. I know how much you love what you do, but the same way you get new students every year, you’ll get a whole new set in Springville. They’ll be lucky to have a teacher like you.”

  “I hope so.”

  “I haven’t seen you teach, but you used to talk about it with as much passion as I’d talk about singing. I can only imagine that fire has burned brighter. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a teacher in their school.”

  “Thanks, Hunter.”

  “I’m always here for you,” I remind her. I want her to know she can count on me. I’m not going anywhere now that I’ve got her back in my life. No more fucking up.

  “Yeah,” she sighs. “Still getting used to that.” My eyes shut hearing her say that. A part of me disappointed in myself that she still doubts I can be there for her.

  “I’m giving you time to get accustomed to having me back in your life, but I will be present. I will reach out to you.”

  “It wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.”

  I smile. I am a persistent son of a bitch.

  “Remember when we used to lay out in the bed of my truck and stare at all the stars? We’d talk for hours, and other things,” I add with intention. “Those were some of my favorite nights. You, me, the outdoors, and the silver stars twinkling down on us. I was thinkin’ about that this mornin’.”

  “I remember,” she whispers. “It was always so peaceful, so happy. I don’t get that kind of calm here. I know moving back is what I ultimately want, but the move, you, Justin, it’s all so much so fast.”

  I hate hearing her bring up Justin, but I have to accept that he’s a part of her journey. A journey that is leading her back to me. She owns my heart, my body, everything. What happened in the past stays there. It’s the only way we’ll truly be able to move forward together.

  “We can go on a ride like that when you’re back. Get some good ole fresh air in your lungs. No better
view that those stars at night, either.”

  “They are gorgeous.”

  “I miss you,” the words slip. I hear her breathing heavy on the line.

  “I miss you, too. I could lie but that wouldn’t be me.”

  I groan. “You have no idea what it does to me to hear you say those words. I’m gonna win you back completely, Mackenzie,” I remind her. “I want to see you, be close. I can fly back out soon.” I know I sound desperate, but I don’t give a shit. My lady misses me, and I want to be there for her.

  “I may go home for a weekend. I was thinking of surprising my family and telling them about the move in person. Maybe I’m just looking for an excuse to be down there.”

  “I want to see you, if you do. I’m a two-hour drive from here, and I’ve been helpin’ my pops, so I can check in on the ranch also.”

  “How’s that going?”

  “It’s goin’. We discovered some of the plants had bacteria and the cows were grazing it. We’ve removed them from that pasture and had the vet take care of them. I know how hard my pops works for the ranch, and it sucks to see him this stressed. It’s their livelihood.”

  “I’m glad y’all discovered what it was.” Her voice becomes more relaxed the more we talk.

  “Me, too. We lost a couple, but the rest are recovering and becoming stronger. Honestly, I’m glad I was able to help. I missed that, too. Things have been upside down for too long.”

  “I’m happy you made up with him.”

  “It’s been good,” I agree. I lift my leg onto the coffee table and relax. Talking to Mackenzie is calming. We talk for a bit longer, until she needs to get dinner ready and I have to head out to see Dex play tonight. Mackenzie encouraged me to go tonight, although I rather have stayed talking to her all night.

  It’s not possible right now, but if she comes and visits her parents, I’m making sure I’ll be there to greet her. To take her out. To prove to her over and over again how much I care about her. She may know it, but I need to show her each day. I need to make up for the heartache and mess I created. I need the forgiveness for being relieved our baby died. That’s been the heaviest cross I’ve been carrying around.