“Jamie?”
With my mouth full, I answer. “Yes.”
“Sorry for interrupting.”
“You’re fine. Caleb, right?”
“Yes, from class this morning. Wow, I’m impressed. Most girls here don’t eat food like this.”
“I was feeling a little homesick. Have you eaten?”
“Yes. May I sit?”
“Sure.”
He pulls out a chair. “What are you up to tonight?”
“A self-guided tour.”
He looks out the window, then at me. “I grew up on this campus.”
“Really?”
“I live about forty-five minutes south of here. My parents went here and so did my grandfather. My older sister Pamela graduated last year. I’m in McNamara Hall and my roommate’s name is Luke. He’s from Nebraska and likes to play silent guitar in his underwear all the time.”
I giggle at his description. “My roommate plays a real guitar and is pretty good.”
“Does she play in the nude, perhaps?”
“Well, she’s a guy and no he doesn’t. At least not yet. I live in an apartment off-campus.”
“Your roommate is a guy and you live off-campus…how did that happen?”
“I made my decision to come here late. No dorm rooms were available. I answered an ad through the bookstore, thinking it was a Michaela, but it turns out Michaela is actually Michael, a third-year student.”
“So is he messy and ugly, with a beer gut?”
“No, he’s attractive, athletic, charming, and seems easygoing.”
“Well you’re cute. If it doesn’t work out, I could probably fit you in my dorm room. Just a thought.”
“I appreciate your offer. Well, I’m pretty full, so this cake will have to wait. Thank you for stopping to say hi.”
“You’re welcome. I’d really like to show you around campus.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Remember, I know the campus like the back of my hand.”
“Then let’s get started.”
After a three hour tour laughing at Caleb’s descriptions of the university, I go home to once again sleep soundly.
*
Today is my interview at 42. I put on a pullover grey dress with my cowboy boots, which I hope is appropriate for the interview. The building has two large windows across the front, with some tables outside, and a yellow awning with blue stripes and a lighted sign that reads, ‘42’. It was 3:55, by my watch, so I’m on time. The walls were filled with sports jerseys, team pictures, and lots of memorabilia from Hopson. There are tables, booths, and a dance area, along with a small stage. The bar is massive, taking up almost the whole side of the room, where many bottles of alcohol are displayed. I turn some more to see Michael walking towards me.
“You’re on time. Pete will like that.”
“Am I dressed okay? Is he here? Of course he’s here. I hope I can do this.”
“Wow, you’re nervous. Let me find him.”
An older gentleman with a buzz cut walks over to us. “Look no further, here I am. You young lady are early.” He holds out his hand. “Nice to meet you Jamie.”
“Nice to meet you sir. Thank you for seeing me today.”
“I was told you’re nineteen, is this correct?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Does your class schedule allow you to be here Friday at three for training?”
“Yes sir, it does.”
“Then I will see you at 3:00 and you’ll be trained by one of our best. Are you okay with busing tables?”
“Yes sir. Thank you so much.”
“Let me get your Employee Packet and t-shirts. Excuse me.”
I could squeeze him, but instead I just silently get excited. “Michael, thank you so much for this opportunity!”
“No problem.”
Pete came back and hands me some shirts. “I will see you Friday.”
“Yes sir, thank you!” I leave them standing together in the bar as I walk away, basking in the good feeling of landing a job.
*
Michael
Pete sits on a stool at the bar. “How long have you known her?”
“About three days.”
“That’s all? Because you act like you’re smitten by her. Have you developed feelings for her already?”
“What feelings, Pete? I barely know her.”
“Well, your face says differently. I saw you watching her during the interview. Will you be here Friday for her first day?”
“Yes, I mean…do you need me to be?”
“She will need you here. Be honest with yourself, she’s a pretty girl living in your apartment, and now working in your bar. She seems like a good person with no hidden agendas or after your money. It’s good to see you might be falling for a good girl for once.”
“Um, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Chapter 6
Idress for my new job, viewing my appearance in the mirror, and hold my hands together, looking up at the ceiling. “Please whatever happens tonight, don’t spill anything.”
I hear Michael knock on my door. “Do you always talk to yourself?”
“Especially when I’m nervous.”
He smiled. “You’ll be fine.”
“This job is a big deal—I need it to help pay for expenses.” I grab my ID, a $20 bill, and my backbone, heading out of the room, stopping just past him. “Wait, are you working tonight?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” All the way to the 42 I try to calm my nerves and knowing he will be working tonight helps. I step inside as a woman looks in my direction waving me off. “Honey, we don’t open until four, come back later.”
“I’m Jamie. Today is my first day.”
She wipes her hands with a towel. “I wasn’t paying attention. Pete told me you were coming. I’m Lacy, official trainer of all newbies. Come, we’re going to start in the kitchen. How old are you?”
“Nineteen.”
“You read the handbook so no handling of booze because that will have Mr. Tucker losing his license. Understood?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Call me Lacy. The bar can be hectic and you’ll be shoved drinks or be asked to deliver, but say no. Tips on the table go into this red basket to be split by everyone at the end of the night. Cleaning the tables, washing dishes, and even doing the laundry have detailed instructions above their stations. Better to learn hands on I always say. Recycling is here for donations later. All of these cabinets, shelves, and drawers are for the busboys/girls and you’re the ones assuring our clean inspections. Any questions?”
“Not yet.”
“I’m Pete’s stepdaughter. Not a student at Hopson, but always learning. I work three days during the week because I’m a traveling nurse. Doors open at four and it’s happy hour until six. Don’t be scared to weave in between people— politely, of course—to do your job. Lots of fun, but customers can be obnoxious. Next stop, the filling station.”
*
She was right. The place filled up fast and the level of noise went up, as did my duties. I move on to a group of tables when I feel a tap on my shoulder.
“Miss, can you come over here? We need booze, shots—can you take our order?”
“Let me find your waitress.”
“Why can’t you?”
I looked around. “Umm…”
“What’s the hold up? Are you okay?”
Panic hits my brain as he moves in close to me, then someone walks by, throwing two bottles in my bucket, which hits a glass and breaks it.
He yells past me. “Damn, dude watch out! Are you okay? What’s your name?”
“Jamie.”
“Sorry if I sound pushy, I’m just excited. We just received word our grant was approved, so we’re over the top, and want to drink the night away. I’m Cody.”
“Nice to meet you. This is my first day.”
“Well, I need to buy you a drink.”
&
nbsp; I smile at him. One of the women grabs his arm. “Let’s dance.”
He shrugs and leaves. I continue clearing, sanitizing, and hunt for the napkin holder. I’m bumped by dancers, overexcited college students taking shots, and someone tries to dance with me, holding the bucket. I blow a fallen piece of hair out of my eyes when I see Michael on my way to the kitchen.
“Jamie how are you doing?”
I let out a little growl then I apologize.
He frowns. “Oh, come with me.”
We’re at the kitchen sink when he hands me a glass of water. “Drink this.”
I do, draining the whole glass.
“You need to stay hydrated and relax; you’ll get into the swing of things.”
“I feel so…”
“What?”
“Out of place, inexperienced, not tall enough.”
He laughs. “Pete has faith in you, so do I. One situation at a time.” He fills another glass. “Take a moment to yourself occasionally.”
“Thanks for the water and advice. I just want to do a good job.” I turn to leave. “Why do I not work more hours?”
“Twenty hours a week, because you’re a freshman, and Pete is a big softy who believes in students getting the education they came here to get.”
“Good to know.”
*
The weeks that followed kept me busy with classes, reading assignments, and a very interesting kickboxing class. I learned to control my body movements, increased my stamina with all the running, along with sculpting my legs, arms, and abs. As for my job, I became stronger and more confident helping out the waitresses while talking to customers. Michael was right; I needed to find my swing. He is an impressive bartender, manager, and a talented singer and guitar player, which he plays at least twice a week. I seem to be distracted by him more and more, but I try and stay focused on why I am here at Hopson. Thanksgiving break is coming up and Caleb asked me to eat lunch with his family. After, I’ll return to the apartment to share dinner with Michael. Tonight is Guy’s Night and with my paper still to write, I head to the library, but not before stopping for a much needed large coffee. Near the checkout is a group of girls sitting at a table listening to a blonde female who seems to be dominating the conversation. She is wearing a white dress accessorized by chunky gold jewelry while passing around her phone. Stirring my coffee, I listen to their conversation.
The girl in pink: “The place looks so romantic. Explain why you came back so early.”
The blonde: “Well, when you spend the money and go through the eligible men, you come home to what’s familiar.”
The girl in red: “We know who you mean.”
The girl in pink: “He has a new female roommate.”
The blonde takes her phone back. “Really.”
The girl in red: “He was pretty pissed off at what you did. Why do you think he’ll want you back?”
The blonde girl: “He has no choice. We’re made for each other.”
They scoot back their chairs and walk away. I turn to watch them. Could that be Michael’s ex? She seems to be very high maintenance and not what I pictured for him. But maybe she is his type. No judgement from me because my experience with boys is zero.
*
I slam the last book shut and head for home. I’m exhausted by the long day, but campus is alive around me. Walking up to the apartment, the blonde from earlier is headed towards me, giving me a once over, then disappearing into the night. As I reach the door, I see an envelope taped to it, with Michael’s name written across the front. I pull it off and lift it to my nose. Is that perfume? Who does that? Inside the boys are yelling at the TV and Stan evidently just got knocked to the couch.
“Hey, boys.”
Jeff turns to me. “How was the library?”
“Quiet. Michael, I found this on the door for you. I think a tall blonde left it.”
He takes it and after reading it, crumples the paper, tossing it in the trash, and heads to the kitchen.
Stan followed. “Do I dare ask?”
“You can. It’s from Stacey. She wants to apologize.”
Michael takes his beer and walks to the balcony. I watch them all join him out there while I’m left, not knowing the history and feeling out of place. I go to my room and close the door.
Michael
All the guys have left and here I stand, with my hands on the kitchen sink, looking over at Jamie’s door. I want to tell her everything, so she’ll understand why I threw it away. Jamie asks for nothing from me and when she talks, I want to listen, learning more about her. She has turned my thoughts into clear ones. Of course they are usually about her. I walk past her room to mine and close the door, taking off my shirt and tossing it in the hamper. I like myself better since she moved into the apartment. I don’t want Stacey back in my life not now, not ever.
Chapter 7
During an English Lit study session, Caleb calls with the details of Thanksgiving lunch at his parents’ house, which I’m nervous about, but grateful. I kept finding myself reliving past holidays with Dad and Ruby. She would prepare such wonderful meals of turkey, cornbread, dressing and unforgettable pumpkin and cherry pie. When I allow myself to think back, tears start and my heart feels heavy again. I need to focus on establishing new memories and moving forward.
The next day we’re on our way to his parents’ house as my nerves begin to get the best of me. Caleb lays his hand on mine when he sees me tapping my foot with no music.
“It will be easy, trust me.”
We pull up to the house as we see his dad open the front door. “They’re pretty obnoxious—almost boring, so don’t be nervous.”
We walk up towards the house as his dad hugs him, and then playfully places him in a chokehold. His mom gives me a hug, taking me by the hand, and leading me inside where she begins her tour. I see most rooms in the house, four pets, and a table full of baby pics of Caleb and his sister. Definitely a proud momma.
His sister brought her boyfriend and they’re cuddled up on the sofa. I catch his parents stealing a kiss or two. We sit down for a huge meal and then proceed to the deck for dessert. When the time comes to leave, both of his parents invite me back, and one of the dogs slips out of the house to follow us. On the ride back, he apologizes for his goofy in love parents and we agree on an upcoming movie on campus and brunch at Dot’s next Sunday. I reach over and kiss him on his cheek, then leave to join Michael for Thanksgiving dinner.
When I pull out my key from the door, I can hear yelling coming from inside. I step in, hearing the sound of glass breaking. In the living room, Stacey stands with her hands on Michael’s chest, and him gripping her arms, holding her away from him.
“You and I are no longer together! Leave me the hell alone!”
“I can help you. Don’t you remember all the plans we made?”
“I forgot everything when you slept with my best friend. I’m done with your manipulations.”
They both realize I’m in the room and she yanks her arms away from him, coming over to me.
“So this is your roommate? Sweetie we have more to talk over, can you come back later?”
Before I can answer, he grabs her arm and pulls her towards the door, shoving her out. She goes to speak, but he slams it before she can get a word out. He heads straight for the kitchen, coming back with a broom and dustpan. I stand still, not knowing what to do, but looking at his face and the tight grip he has on the broom, I drop my stuff and bend to help.
“Jamie, you don’t need to do this. This is all on me.”
I keep my eyes on him. “All I see is someone who got hurt by someone they cared about once and a girl who is not accepting the end result.” I place my hand on his and he loosens his grip. “So I’m helping my friend.”
We begin to gather the broken pieces.
“I’m sorry you walked in on us fighting. I wanted her to leave before you came back.”
“If she didn’t pick up on what you were saying, she’s cra
zy.”
He sits down, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’m afraid she is.”
“How did this all start?”
“My portion of the meal was in the oven and I was getting out plates when I thought you had returned, but it was her standing in the hall. Before I could shove her out, the timer went off and I didn’t want it to burn, so I went back into the kitchen. She proceeded to tell me what she wants from me and when you came, she was in the process of being shoved to the door dropping whatever she brought with her.”
“How did she get in?”
“I left the door unlocked. Something I won’t do again. Enough of that drama. How was Caleb’s family?”
“Nice, very sweet, with a spread of food to feed twenty people.”
“He likes you, you know.”
“We’re friends.”
“No, I mean he’s into you. Like he wants to date or become intimate with you.” I look at him with a raised brow. “Jamie that was out of line—it’s not what I meant to say.”
I nudge him with my foot. “Well, I’ve never been intimate with anyone.” I put my hands over my face. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I confessed that out loud! How do you get me to spill things so easily?”
“I got that kind of face. If you want, we can talk about it.”
“Of course I’m going to talk about it with you.” He smiles. “I was tomboyish growing up, guarding my feelings, and not expressing to boys how I felt. Besides I didn’t have boobs, a cute butt, or any flirty moves or confidence to catch their eye. I was awkward and shy.”
“What are you saying? We like real girls who are funny, with beautiful smiles and eyes you can get lost in, with big hearts and soft skin.” He shoots me a smile, warming me all over.
“There was one boy, Jeffrey Scott. I guess you could say he was my first crush.”
“So you dated.”
“No. The night of my graduation/birthday party he did see me naked, we shared a body tingling kiss, and promised ourselves a real date.”
“Okay, I have so many questions from that statement.”
“As the weeks passed after Dad’s funeral, I withdrew. He tried to help me but nothing helped me. It’s like my heart closed. I cried when I was alone, I took no one with me to see the lawyers, I just withdrew. My parents loved each other but they didn’t have enough time together, so I figured I’m doomed to never have love in my life. In the days leading up to my hasty departure I know they all were scared for me to leave, but I needed it for me. I have to discover what I want.”
My Heart Page 3