My Heart

by LEIGH ARMSTRONG

  “Jamie, come in, please have a seat.” His office is filled top to bottom with books, a couple computer screens, and a big oak desk that’s filled with many papers and more books. I take off my backpack and sit.

  “Jamie, have you considered what you want to do when you graduate?”

  “A little, but nothing definite.”

  He leans back in his chair with his hands behind his head. “I noticed last semester that you were more involved in the class discussions with good ideas. Your presentations were well thought out, your organizational skills, along with your ability to communicate with the other students was outstanding. I have a friend who owns a business here in town and he comes to me every year for intern applicants. He wants a business major; I want you to think it over, take this folder, and read over the company bullet points, then let me know if you have any questions. It might be a good start for your career after college.”

  “I will. Thank you, Professor Stower. Thanks for putting my name in for the position.” I pick up my backpack and the folder, leaning over his desk to shake his hand. “Thank you again.”

  “You are welcome.”

  I leave his office a little surprised but elated that I was chosen. This is quite an opportunity, but it would keep me really busy along with the extra classes I’ll take over the summer. I will have to speak with Michael about my hours at 42, but right now I have just enough time to go home and change for the hearing.

  *

  Riding up to the second floor in the Parks Building, my nerves are little edgy, but I know I’m right on how the altercation went down that night. The elevator door opens, and I immediately see Michael.

  “You look great.”

  “Tell me she isn’t coming, that she dropped all this, and we’re done and can go home.”

  Then the elevator doors open, too late. She comes out but not alone. Michael takes my hand and we proceed inside the room and take a seat. I’m in pants with a white blouse and Stacey is wearing a white dress with a plunging neckline, along with brown spiked heeled booties. She knew what she needed to do—exploit her assets, so they won’t listen to her ridiculous account of events. She also arrived with two friends who were there that night as well. Administrative assistant versus sorority sex kitten— let the fight begin. Caleb walks in and sits on my side. Stacey shoots him a look that I guess was supposed to drive him to her side, though he doesn’t budge. My own witnesses show up and I thank them for taking time to come out for me. The gavel hits the table as the complaint is read. She’s called forward first.

  Stacey starts by saying I’m jealous of her and Michael’s past relationship and that we had a confrontation early that day at our sorority house that left her concerned that I might try and get even with her. She said that night at the bar I was lazy, rude, and abrupt with her. All I had to do was clean off the table, but I was belligerent.

  If I didn’t know how awful she could be I might feel sorry for her. She takes out a tissue to wipe her eyes. What the heck is going on? She clearly has a personality disorder.

  I look at Michael, who shakes his head. They call up her witnesses to get their account of the incident. They’re also dressed to catch the eye of the panel sitting before us. They each tell a story that’s fabricated, just like hers.

  Finally it’s my turn. I stand and recount my version of the events that evening. I do not bring up situations that didn’t happen inside the bar. I go over each encounter with her that night and describe the fight. I even show them a picture of my bruised, swollen face. They call up my witnesses and then call Michael to their table. When they’re done, Michael turns and finds his seat next to me. They talk amongst themselves for about five minutes, then called us both up.

  “Ladies, you are here today, due to a filed complaint about an altercation at the 42 bar near campus. We have come to the conclusion that this was a misunderstanding. We have determined there is no cause for anyone to be suspended or reprimanded for the incident.” They look at her. “Mr. Tucker is an outstanding college senior and reputable bar owner who clearly is not charging you for the altercation in his bar. Ms. Morgan, the same goes for you and nothing will appear in your permanent files.”

  I nod and say thank you. They slam down the gavel.

  Stacey stands there with her hands on her hips. “Are you serious? This isn’t right. She attacked me, and you do nothing?”

  They walk away without acknowledging her statement.

  “So that is it?” Clearly annoyed, she looks over at us, addressing her statement to Michael. “This is all wrong. I’m not done with this.” She gathers her stuff off the table and then tells her friends it’s time to leave. Before departing, she comes back to us, running her well-manicured finger down the front of Michael’s shirt, which makes my blood boil.

  “You know we are good together. The day is coming where all you will want is me. Just wait. You’ll see.”

  He steps close to her. “Stay away from me, from Jamie and the 42. Whatever you have brewing in your head stops today. Do you understand?”

  She finally walks away, but not before looking over at Caleb. She smiles, blowing him a kiss. “You have my number.”

  He holds up his hand shaking his head no then looks over at me. I shake my head in disbelief walking over to my witnesses to thank them for coming today. They all tell me it was all her fault, and they were glad it got dismissed. Caleb walks up as they’re leaving.

  “She put on quite the show, huh? Look thank you for coming and doing this today.”

  “Jamie she is nuts plain and simple and I don’t think she’s done. It’s like she’s snapped. On a higher note, how was Colorado?”

  “Amazing! A place I would like to travel to again.”

  Michael steps up to address Caleb. “Do you want to grab some food?”

  “I can’t. I’m in a study group that’s meeting in ten minutes. But thanks for the offer.”

  Michael and I walk outside, but I have one last question.

  “What did you say to those guys?”

  He smiles. “Do you really want to know?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  He slides his hands in his front pockets. “They asked if I kicked you both out that night. I said I kicked Stacey out of the bar for good, and I went home with you. They said that was a good choice and that everything was being dismissed. They knew she was crazy from her outfit and performance.”

  I put my arms around his waist. “I’m so done with her. Are there anymore ex’s that might come out to attack me?”

  “No, you’re safe. How about some dinner?”

  “As long as we can take dessert home.”

  He squeezes me closer to his side. “Dessert in bed?”

  “Yes.”

  “Take out it is.”

  Chapter 28

  I’m getting ready for my interview with ECON, the company Professor Stower recommended to me by researching them online and going over the notes he gave me. It’s a nonprofit helping in the community, throughout the state, and with a couple of international projects getting attention in the news. The front door opens and Michael’s soaked from the rain and still in workout clothes, holding a bag of Chinese food and a rose. I rush over to grab the wet bag before it lands on the floor.

  “Let me help you.” I took the bag as his free hand cups my neck to steady me for a long hello kiss.

  “It’s like the sky opened up. I’ll hop in the shower and be back in ten minutes. This is for you.” He hands me the rose.

  “Thank you. It smells sweet.”

  He goes around the corner, down the hall, peeling off his shirt, as he calls back, “Just like my girl.”

  I busy myself setting up date night, putting out food, and placing my rose in a small glass when Michael returns from his shower.

  “Today was very busy—it’s good to be home. How was your day?”

  “I spent time getting ready for my interview, finished a drawing for class, and thought of you.”

 
; “Good thoughts, I hope.”

  I raises an eyebrow, popping a dumpling in his mouth. “Always.”

  We talk about my work shifts changing to be able to take the internship if offered and me maybe even stepping back from classes or only taking one or two over the summer. We both agree as neither want a repeat from last summer. He talks about the upcoming meeting with his dad that will decide what happens after he graduates—and what it might mean for us as a couple. Big decisions, but I know we will make it work. After dinner, there’s chocolate silk pie, a movie, and us. No drama, no phones, just a normal evening enjoying each other.

  *

  Michael

  The next day my parents were coming to town about a new jobsite. Mom decided to visit me while Jamie was in class. I was looking forward to seeing her, but not the meeting later with Dad going over financial reports for the bar or plans for my future.

  Mom is in the apartment for five minutes and sees me pacing the floor in front of her. She raises her hands. “Please sit down and talk to me. Why are you anxious?”

  “I have lots to tell Dad at our meeting tonight but mostly about my future with Jamie.” I sit down beside her. “Mom, I love her.”

  My mother says nothing right away. “How does she feel about you?”

  “She loves me. I can see marriage, kids, maybe a house in the ‘burbs.” She looks down at her hands then back at me.

  “Mothers dream of the day their children find someone special. I’m just happy for you and for Jamie. She’s a lovely girl who would do anything for you. I like seeing you looking towards your future, wanting more for yourself.”

  “I never thought caring for someone would mean so much to me.”

  “Well I can see she does. No one gets to say what your future will be except you, including your father. He will understand, given some time.”

  My phone vibrates on the table. “Excuse me, it’s him.”

  After a brief conversation, I hang up the phone, tossing it on the table. She knows the call is not good but they never are. Our relationship may be past the point of repair.

  “Do you think it ever mattered to him what I wanted?”

  She comes over and lays her hand on my arm. “You want acceptance from your father, you always have but you need to stand up, state what you want, and then go after it. Let him know what’s important to you. Your dad and I weren’t high school or college sweethearts. He was at the firm I worked at on a temporary contract. I was called in to take minutes at the meeting he was attending. When I looked up waiting to start, he was staring at me. His eyes were dark, looking right at me, and I began to blush. He had such an intense look: handsome, determined. When the meeting was over, he asked me out.”

  “You said yes?”

  “I did. On our first date I expressed my desire of wanting a business of my own.”

  “You?”

  “Yes, I was disciplined, determined, and loved working just like him. We had only dated eighteen months when he asked me to marry him, right after signing a lease on his first building. We married six months later, and I was pregnant one year to the date. In fact, I told him I was pregnant on our first anniversary.”

  “Not in his career plan I’m sure.”

  “No. I worked until it was time to take maternity leave. But having you changed my heart and going back was no longer my priority. Your dad approached parenthood like a company, which caused a strain between us. I settled into my role as a mother, and he managed our growing business. Believe me, sweetheart. I see the toll it has taken on the two of you, but I know he loves you and one day he will see you and who you are.” She reaches up and places a hand on my cheek, then pulls me in a hug. “I have to go. I hope Jamie can meet us for dinner tonight.”

  “I hope so too.”

  Jamie

  Walking into the living room, I fix the strap to my shoe, then look at him holding a tie in his hand.

  “Sorry. I hope we won’t be late. Are you wearing that?” I point at the tie.

  “You’re looking lovely tonight.”

  “Thank you.” I reach for the tie. “I vote no.”

  I toss it on the sofa.

  “I’m glad you made it back for dinner tonight with my mother. As far as I know my father won’t be there because of his meeting.”

  “What if he surprises you?”

  “What and show up unexpectedly, asking questions and talking on his phone? Maybe.”

  “Well, let me know when you want to leave because you and I, along with my black lace underwear, will come home.”

  I grab his hand, leading him to the door.

  “Seriously? You tell me this right before dinner with my mother.”

  “Are you thinking about your meeting with your dad?”

  “No.”

  “Good. Mission accomplished.”

  The walk over to the restaurant is a good one with us stopping a couple of times to steal kisses. As we approach the end of the sidewalk, we glance both ways, then step off. Out of nowhere, a black SUV appears, almost hitting us. I would have taken the impact directly, but Michael pulled me away and is now cursing at the driver. Two other people were behind us but also stepped out of the way just in time.

  “Jamie, are you okay?”

  “Yes, I never saw them coming. Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. What is wrong with people not paying attention?” He puts his arms around my shoulders. It shakes us both, but we turn to the other couple, asking if they’re okay and if they saw the license plate. They didn’t, so we head to the restaurant.

  We enter seeing his mom, but she’s not alone. Mr. Tucker has joined her and is on the phone. I squeeze Michael’s hand. “Just give the word.”

  His mom speaks first. “Jamie, it’s so good you could join us. Your dress is so cute.” She gives me a hug.

  “Thank you.” She goes to greet Michael as Mr. Tucker sticks out his hand to me.

  “Jamie, nice to see you again.”

  “Thank you, sir, I’m glad you could make it.”

  “Yes, last minute change of plans.” He holds out his hand to Michael.

  “Son.”

  “Dad.”

  After we’re all seated, the waitress comes over to take our drink orders. Almost immediately his dad starts throwing questions Michael’s way about the profits report on the 42. He squeezes my leg under the table and I place my hand over his, wrapping it around his arm as he relaxes his grip.

  “Michael your last semester will be done before you know it. How are the applications coming? Any responses back yet? I feel you should’ve had some news already. I hope it’s not your first year here that’s delaying those responses. It wasn’t your best.” He clears his throat. “I hope you thought about what I said earlier today, that law would be a smart career decision for you. I could make a few calls.”

  “Not necessary.”

  Tension is thick and both men pick up their beer glasses.

  Mr. Tucker takes a sip, then turns to me. “Jamie, what is your major?”

  “Business maybe, I’m not real sure yet.”

  “What do you want to do with that?”

  “I’m still mulling it over.”

  “What does your family think? Do you have people to guide you? Your dad must have suggestions for you.”

  Mrs. Tucker laid her hand on his arm. “Harrison.”

  Michael stiffens in his chair as I answer his question. “I’m the only one in my family. My mom passed away when I was five, my dad less than two years ago. I have no siblings, no aunts or uncles. As for planning my future, I don’t have the answers and right now I am focused on my academics, my job and building relationships.” I lean into Michael’s arm.

  Mr. Tucker sees the gesture and says nothing for a moment. Then he looks at his son, like he just figured out something was different between us. “I’m sorry Jamie, Laura did tell me.”

  His phone vibrates, and he glances at it. “Jamie you may want to talk with someone who has
knowledge in real life experiences. Young people struggle with money when they first start out after college with loans, living expenses, and poor decision making. Sometimes what’s right now can be detrimental later. Please, excuse me.” He leaves the table. Michael stands up, then pulls out my chair.

  He looks at his mom, apologizing. “I’m sorry we won’t be staying. Will I see you before you leave town?” His mother nods. He takes out money, leaving it on the table to pay for our meal that never arrived. I turn my attention to the woman who’s being left at the table to deal with what just happened.

  “It was nice to see you again, Mrs. Tucker.”

  She just smiles. She’s probably felt this way many times when being with both her husband and son. Mr. Tucker comes back to the table. “Did something come up?”

  Michael pauses for a moment. “Yes. Will I see you at 42 later or did that call change our meeting?”

  His dad sits down, turning up his glass. “No change and I hope all the reports are in order.”

  “Of course.”

  Michael stands holding my coat. I glance at his mother who is watching her husband, he is looking at his son. What big event will it take to get them back to being a father and a son? We leave the restaurant taking only a few steps when he stops.

  “I apologize for my father. He’s all business, no heart.”

  “It’s fine.”

  He starts walking again taking my hand. “I know he’s smart when it comes to business, clearly his wealth proves that. But when it comes to feelings, he has none. From what you’ve told me, your dad put you first and still worked hard to make a life for his family. I’m done trying to live like he wants.”

  “Show him the passion you have behind your decision and then maybe he’ll understand.”

  “We shall see.”

  *

  I spend the next three and a half hours writing my paper while Michael has his meeting at the 42 with his dad. I must have fallen asleep because I awake to a noise outside my room. I look up to see him pulling his sports bag out of the way picking up the lamp. I turn on my light.