For Adriano

by Soraya Naomi

  “He shares similar concerns. Do you truly understand what you’re giving up? That we’ll have a life where we’ll be on the run forever? James will never stop searching for you.” His palms cover my cheeks while he implores, “Do you get that?”

  “I do.”

  “But wouldn’t you rather stay here? You’ve already accepted a Mafia life. You’re training and acting like James’s protégée.”

  “Yes, I admit I would love to stay, but only if I get to be with you. I want to be with you more.” I rest my forehead against his. “Don’t let Luca change your mind.”

  “I’m not. It’s just far more difficult than we thought. What about my family, Cam?”

  “We can take them with us,” I offer.

  “They don’t know about my Mafia life.” His voice is so soft that it pulls at my heartstrings.

  “They’ll find out anyway when we run.”

  “As much as I want them with me, I can’t. My mother is too sick to lead a life like that.” His hands slide away from my face. “If there were any other option, would you stay?”

  “Yes,” I blurt and hurriedly add when he’s obviously startled by my reaction, “If I don’t have to sneak around and can be with you.” Where is his mind? He’s drowning in a million thoughts, floating away. “Does Luca have an alternative option for us?”

  He shakes his head once. “Not a manageable option yet. Luca made me promise that we won’t take any action without informing him.”

  “Did you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can I tell Fallon about...us?”

  “You haven’t already.” He poses it more as a statement than a question.

  I ignore his comment. “Adriano, your reluctance to let me know what’s going on in your head is scaring me.”

  “I don’t have an answer for you yet. I need to focus on Saturday first.”

  Rubbing my fingers down his jaw, I agree, “Okay. Then we first focus on getting through Saturday. And after that, we’ll talk to Luca together. I can see that he’s got you worried.”

  In turn, it worries me that Adriano will pull away. Years of history with this man upsurges my doubt. But I trust his word. I must trust him.

  He leaves for work again without saying anything else.

  CHAPTER 33

  Adriano

  Conflicting emotions divide my thoughts. Deep down, I don’t want to give up my life as a Capo. I’ve worked so damn hard to secure this position, and Luca’s words hit me hard because he’s right; she’s infatuated, blinded by a love that’s only been set free for a few days. And that’s intensified our emotions amidst the problems.

  My hesitancy lies in the fact that the longer we stay, the more attached she’ll become to her father and family. And that will conflict her mind; she doesn’t even realize that. I desperately want to strip Cam naked and bury myself inside her because of her devotion to me. In the week that she and I have grown closer, we’ve become more attached than we were in the months we were together in the past. And she’s not only a part of me; she’s scorched in my blood. I’m in love with Cam. I will never let her go; she belongs to me.

  She lets me bend her in half in every position I choose in order to feel her body. And we’re learning to open up to each other, which is easy for me to do with her, since I trust her love for me. She’s the only person in this universe who has experienced all my sides: the Capo, the son, the friend, the lover. And she loves each and every part of me. I never have to pretend with her; she knows me – although I’m still not positive she comprehends the extent of my ruthlessness – and how I’ve lived. She knows I’m a killer. I do believe she’ll follow me anywhere. And I’m ready to take what I want; however, I realize now that I’m definitely not ready to give up my position of power.

  Luca was correct in so many aspects; I’m being led by my dick. I’m not Prince Charming who’s going to sweep her off her feet. I’m offering a life of always being the target without having any substantial influence to protect us, and as a Mafia man, I know that’s a precarious predicament to be in.

  And for the first time ever, I’m experiencing guilt, contrition for being selfish and wanting it all, but that is an emotion a Capo can’t afford to have.

  A plan starts to construct in my mind, but it’s one that could blow up in my face and ruin many lives.

  Losing Cam is not an option.

  I want her with me, indefinitely.

  I want my position of authority.

  And I will take what I want.

  ***

  When I return home that night, I’m confronted with the resentment of my current position as a Capo, yet I still want to maintain it, and it catapults me into action.

  Cam’s upstairs when I enter my loft.

  Hungry, I rummage through the fridge and settle on some chicken parmesan my mother left in a Tupperware container.

  Well into the last bite, Cam comes down in my favorite outfit, panties and a tank. Well, perhaps not my favorite since that’s her naked body.

  Before she gets a chance to speak, a knock sounds.

  Our heads whip to the door, then to each other.

  Bending to get my gun from the ankle holster, I throw my other arm up. “Go upstairs.”

  “Adriano, it’s James,” his voice drifts from the other side of the door.

  Upon hearing James, she turns on the top step.

  “Put on some clothes!” I whisper-shout and set my weapon on the bar to open the door.

  “I need to talk to Cam.” James peeks over my shoulder, and I let him in.

  “She’s upstairs. I just got home.”

  Discomfort sets in, and silence descends like a dark cloud until it’s broken by Cam’s presence.

  James speaks before she’s even reached the bottom step. “Camilla, I have good news. You can come stay with me.”

  Where’s this coming from? I just saw him a couple of hours ago, and he didn’t mention anything about taking her.

  Her footsteps falter, and she freezes.

  Don’t look at me, Cam.

  Don’t ask questions.

  Remember what we’re teaching you; never show your emotions.

  And to my astonishment, she says, “Okay, I’ll get my bag.”

  Nonchalantly, I take the fork with perspiring hands and barely taste the last bite of chicken. “What’s changed?”

  “I have more guards now. And... I felt regret for not protecting her myself. Did she mention anything to you about how she might be disappointed that she didn’t get to stay with Alessa and Rosalia?” he asks, seemingly genuine.

  This man’s had decades of training in the Mafia. It’s impossible to determine whether he’s being honest or simply wants her away from me. I’m inclined to believe the latter.

  “No.”

  A new level of what I can only describe as pure misery overcomes me when she returns, dressed and with an overnight bag, and is about to leave.

  “Shall we go?” James doesn’t wait for an answer and touches the door handle. “I’m sure Adriano’s tired.”

  I am. And Adriano wants to fucking sleep with her in his bed!

  “We’ll see you tomorrow at the house.” Again, his is tone is bland, and I’m not convinced he doesn’t actually know about us.

  “Thanks for letting me crash.” Tears pool in Cam’s eyes, making me want to lick them away, but she blinks her sorrow back before James witnesses it.

  Only one quick glance that’s filled with a thousand words we don’t get to speak.

  I dip my chin, and she’s gone.

  The vast emptiness of the room crashes down on me. A whirlwind of emotions clash, and everything from the last few days gushes out.

  Rolling my neck, I grip my gun and eye it. Then I smash the butt on the counter over and over again until I’m out of breath, shattering the rock-hard granite surface, thousands of tiny splinters covering the bar, while my rage searches for an outlet. I launch my handgun against the fridge, denting it before the weap
on clangs to the floor.

  I didn’t even get to say goodbye, not now and not earlier. This afternoon, I left without a word because I was organizing my thoughts. Cam might have perceived my hesitancy as second thoughts about us, and I need to rectify that. I can’t message or call her now, because James is probably sitting next to her in the car, so I wait, since I sense that she’ll contact me the moment she’s alone.

  The wait is the longest two hours of my fucking life.

  Eventually, my phone in my hand notifies me of a message.

  It took them forever to leave me. I’m in my room now. Can I call you?

  As much as I want to hear her voice, James will be listening.

  No calls, Cam. Only texts, and delete them right away. I didn’t know he was planning to take you. How did he act toward you?

  Okay. I’ll delete them. He acted normal, maybe a little too nice, but I get the feeling that’s more because he wanted his family together. I eavesdropped on them, and Alessa badgered him into having me with them too, which is nice, but it sucks because I miss you! I don’t think he knows anything about us; he didn’t mention you at all.

  I grin because she’s such a shameless eavesdropper. Her words soothe the tension in my muscles, but I need her to be extra observant.

  Cam, I’m proud of how you hid your emotions. Don’t forget that James is a master actor. He can blindside us at any moment. Be careful, promise me that.

  Send. And I shoot her another one.

  I miss you too. It’s too quiet without you prancing around.

  And again, I add another text because I can’t help it.

  It’s too quiet without you screaming my name when I fuck you with my cock.

  Well, it only took you ten seconds to make this convo sexual. Don’t make me horny with my father in the next room; that’s just disturbing.

  I’m glad she’s teasing; she’s showing me how resilient she is.

  My phone vibrates with another incoming message from her.

  This bed is so cold.

  Soon you’ll be in my warm bed again, my love. Patience is a virtue.

  One I don’t have. I want your cock when you say stuff like ‘my love’.

  I groan around a smile.

  I promise to make you come in some way when we see one another tomorrow. Be careful. Go to sleep.

  You better! I’ll be careful. You too. Night.

  I type ‘I love you’ but erase it because I need to see her face when I say it to her.

  Sleep tight.

  And within a text message exchange of five minutes, she manages to relax me and make me miss her even more at the same time.

  In my master suite, I strip down to my boxers and crawl into bed, plotting while glaring at my ceiling.

  Time is money. Time is life or death.

  I’m taking back the power that’s been stripped from me. I’m taking her back.

  My longing for her both weakens and fortifies me. She’s my Achilles heel. She’s the reason I’m about to shake up the underworld. There’s only one way out now. No one takes my girl from me.

  CHAPTER 34

  Camilla

  As soon as James has shown me to my room in his mansion, I message Adriano, and in his words, I find peace within the war around us. I lie in bed restlessly, missing him so much more than I’d admit. I feel like a part of me has been ripped in two.

  Within the last week, Adriano has become the center of my existence. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  But now I’m tumbling in different directions. I knew the second James announced that I could stay with him that I shouldn’t pause. Adriano has been drilling me for days about how to read people and make sure they can’t read me. I could practically see the cloud with text floating above his head with ‘just go with James; don’t show your emotions’. It’s inexplicable how in tune I am with him.

  The attraction that led us together two years ago has grown into an undeniable love that bonds my heart to his. Even when we’re apart, we’re always connected by an invisible thread that’s tied eternally.

  While my life was at a standstill for months, everything in the past two weeks has happened in double-time. And I’ve barely even gotten a chance to wrap my mind around it. However, this is the life I was born into, and I’ve decided to move forward with it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you should never live in the past. The past is gone; you can’t change it. I’ve tried my best for Santino, but if they refuse to let me join the team, I’ll have no choice but to trust them.

  In the end, Adriano is more important to me than Santino, and I’m learning that guiltiness is a useless feeling.

  Eventually, I’ll probably sacrifice everyone to be with him; that’s how much of a hold he has over me.

  I whisper his name in this unfamiliar room and start the countdown until I see him again.

  ***

  The next morning, I’m pacing near the heavily draped window in the Syndicate’s living room, waiting for Adriano. I was hoping to see him before everyone clocks in.

  Soldiers barge in, including Damian, who’s staring at me oddly, and the house is getting busier and busier but no sign of Adriano.

  Finally, he arrives with Luca, and as he passes me, he spots Damian and whispers calmly to me, “Don’t talk to him. I will flip if you even look at him.”

  So, the Damian issue is still a major problem. He hasn’t mentioned Damian at all since he’s been letting me back in, and I’m not going to bring it up; it’s in the past.

  Today, I learn that Adriano, like James, is also a master at hiding behind a mask, and he just greets me like the rest with a formal nod and proceeds into the kitchen. Of course he’s hungry and getting food.

  And the same play we’ve performed for years starts again, suppressing our feelings and ignoring each other.

  James joins us after getting the floor plans from his office, and everyone quiets down.

  “Where’s Adriano?” James rolls out the blueprint with an etching of the architectural style of Club 7 on the coffee table.

  Luca arranges a coaster on each of the corners. “He’s in the kitchen. You can begin.”

  Adriano’s back within seconds, standing facing us next to Luca and James at the head of the table. He’s popping something into his mouth and chewing casually while James speaks.

  “Good morning. Most of you know Camilla. She worked behind the bar upstairs for a while.”

  About thirty eyes land on me, and I try my best to hide my unease and tilt my chin just like they usually do.

  James drops the bomb out of nowhere. “Camilla is our newest member.”

  Adriano’s hand stops mid-air to his mouth at James’s revelation, and Luca’s amazed as well. Their eyes cut to each other.

  No one utters a word of complaint.

  “You will accept her as a member, but not an equal member. Camilla, come join us.” James holds out his hand to me. “Camilla is my daughter. Therefore, she outranks everyone in this room except me. She’s under my protection.”

  Now murmurs do start, and I’m speechless.

  What’s he doing? Why is he doing this? Out of obligation toward me? Or is he sucking me into the Syndicate so I won’t run with Adriano without his having to use violence to influence me?

  “In what capacity will she work with us?” Capo Alessandro asks.

  “She’ll be required to oath omertà first. No one is exempt from that. After that, I’ll decide with Luca and Adriano what rank she’ll be rewarded.”

  Wait a minute. Are or aren’t Luca and Adriano aware of his plan? And what’s omertà? Everything moves along, interfering with my train of thought.

  “Camilla, these”—his fingers trace crisscross paths on the paper—“are the hallways. Do you recognize them?”

  I’ve explained my memory is a blur, and this mathematical drawing just seems like a lot of lines to me. “No.”

  He talks me through it by explaining how to read the blueprint, and it c
omes to life in my mind.

  Pointing to the room next to Fat Sal’s office, I say, “There are rooms with adjacent bathrooms that lead to small chambers. This one was where I saw Santino being beaten. This hall”—my finger follows a parallel line—“leads to the elevator that goes to the underground club, instead of that hall, I believe.”

  “It’s highly possible he rebuilt that place,” Luca states. “Is this the way to the club?”

  “I think so, yes,” I answer and glance around. I thought this was a huge operation. Fifteen soldiers doesn’t seem like a big group.

  Adriano takes it over. “You all have your teams of five soldiers. Check your gear and material that’s in the back of the house. You, as the leader of your team, instruct your soldiers further.”

  So there are more soldiers. These are just the men that’ll lead the operation.

  Adriano orders, “Get your equipment for your team and check all your weapons. Everyone needs spare ammunition. And I have extra silencers. Gather your soldiers to bring them up to date. We formulate the entire plan today. You have two days to memorize this floor plan. We meet daily, and we’ll do a final run through on Saturday afternoon, before we attack.”

  The men take their cues and span out.

  I look at Adriano, who’s scanning the floor plan and is deliberately turning a blind eye to me. But the moment my stare lands on him, I can see his lip twitch twice. He’s as aware of me as I am of him.

  James asks me, “Camilla, this is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

  I did hint I wanted to join them, because I never want to go back to being poor and alone. Or find myself in any kind of situation where I’m defenseless and men like Fat Sal can get to me. But that was before Adriano turned my world upside down, yet again, within days by finally professing his feelings.