Berliner Ensemble Adaptations

by Bertolt Brecht

  Fritz This coffee tastes like barley.

  Buttress What’s that? (He tastes it) So it does. With the biscuits I hadn’t—(Looks into the pot) God damn it! (Throws the coffee things out the window) Barley coffee for five hundred guilders a year! It’s an insult to Squint the upright!

  Squint Buttress, you’re raving, my dear Buttress!

  Mrs. Blitz (rushes in) What’s this? What in the devil is going on? (To Squint) Are you raving, sir, or has the devil got into you?

  Squint Calm down, ma, I’ll pay for it.

  Mrs. Blitz (with a horrible scream) Where are my coffee things? Heavens alive, out the window!—I’ll scratch your eyes out!

  Squint There was a spider in the coffee; in my fright I threw it—is it my fault if the window was open?

  Mrs. Blitz I wish you’d choked on that spider. If I sold you and all your belongings, it wouldn’t pay for my coffee set, you worthless dog! Rack and ruin is all I get from you. I’ll have you prosecuted, I’ll have you locked up.

  Squint Let it go for once, Mrs. Blitz. It won’t happen again. Please, Mrs. Blitz.

  Mrs. Blitz And what’s that on my table, you monster? Don’t cover it up. He’s been carving. Some obscenity. “No.”

  Squint It’s in reference to Immanuel Kant.

  Mrs. Blitz On my table! I’ll call the constable. I—

  Buttress That’ll do, Ma Blitz. Don’t frighten Squint the fearless. The coffee was inadequate. Get thee hence, woman!

  Mrs. Blitz (intimidated) Well, I must say—throwing my coffee set out in the snow drifts … (Goes out)

  Squint I fear nothing but that woman. She is devoid of understanding.

  Buttress What would you do without Buttress? You’d pay through the nose and starve to death.

  Fritz I’m thinking of taking up philosophy myself.

  Buttress Mr. von Berg, I only hope philosophy can stand it. Everybody’s taking up philosophy. I’ll have to change now, I’m going to the new comedy tonight. They’re playing Minna von Barnhelm. I have a weakness for actresses.

  Fritz Can I come along? It’s a nice play. If only I could take my Gussie to see it.

  Squint I wish I could go too. But I haven’t got a coat!—So her name is Gussie? I’ll be glad to show you my girl. Now I really need a coat.

  Buttress You haven’t got one, though. So I’ll show him your girl. She’s the daughter of Swandown the lutenist. She gets a free place in the standing room, thanks to her father. A footnote to the history of the war. Let’s go, Berg. And mind you, don’t neglect your physiology. (Buttress and Fritz go out)

  7

  Insterburg, in March. Gussie’s room.

  Gussie, Hasty.

  Gussie I believe that God created me.

  Hasty If only He hadn’t! (Helping her along) And all …

  Gussie And all other creatures …

  Hasty And has given me …

  Gussie And has given me, and keeps my body and soul …

  Hasty Body too …

  Gussie Eyes, ears, and all my limbs, my reason and all my senses …

  Hasty And that …

  Gussie And that he bestows upon me each day clothing and shoes, meat and drink, house and home, wife and child, fields and cattle, and all my goods …

  Hasty And supplies in abundance all needs and …

  Gussie Necessities of my …

  Hasty Body …

  Gussie And life …

  Hasty And protects me …

  Gussie From all perils, and guards and defends me from all …

  Hasty Bodily harm …

  Gussie What’s the matter with you?

  Hasty Without any merit or worthiness in me.

  Gussie Amen.

  Hasty Weren’t we supposed to draw from nature? You had a good laugh, didn’t you, at the thought of that silly tutor waiting for you at the mill. And how many more fine March mornings will there be? (Hasty slaps his palm with the ruler)

  Gussie Ha, ha, ha, my dear tutor. Really, I had no time.

  Hasty Don’t be cruel.

  Gussie But what is the matter with you? I never saw you so deep in thought. And I’ve noticed that you don’t eat.

  Hasty You have? Really? You’re a paragon of compassion.

  Gussie Oh, Mr. Hasty—

  Hasty Would you care to draw from nature this afternoon?

  Gussie (touches his hand) Oh, dearest tutor, forgive me for disappointing you yesterday. It was quite impossible for me to come. I was so amazingly enrhumée.

  Hasty I suppose it’s the same today. Perhaps we had better stop drawing from nature altogether. It doesn’t amuse you any more.

  Gussie (half in tears) How can you say that, Mr. Hasty? It’s the one thing I like to do.

  Hasty Or find yourself a drawing master. Because I believe I shall ask your father to remove the object of your aversion, your hatred, your cruelty, from your sight. I can see that instruction from me is becoming more and more repellent to you.

  Gussie Mr. Hasty—

  Hasty Let me be. I must find a way of putting an end to this miserable life, since death is denied me.

  Gussie Mr. Hasty—

  Hasty You’re torturing me. (He tears himself away and rushes out)

  Gussie Oh, how sorry I feel for him!

  8

  Privy Councillor von Berg’s ornamental garden.

  Privy Councillor, Pastor Hasty, Hasty.

  Privy Councillor I’m sorry for him and even more sorry for you, reverend. But intercede with my brother on behalf of your son—no!

  Pastor But think of it, only three hundred thalers! Three hundred miserable thalers! The major promised him four hundred. Then, after the first six months, he paid him a hundred and forty. And now, at the beginning of the second half year, while more and more work is being piled on my son, he speaks of two hundred as his annual wage. That is unjust. Begging your pardon.

  Privy Councillor Why? A tutor! What does he do? Lolls about and gets paid for it. Wastes the best hours of the day with a young master who doesn’t want to learn anything and has no need to. Spends the rest of his time bowing to madame’s whims or studying the lines in the major’s face. Eats when he’s full and fasts when he’s hungry, drinks punch when he wants to piss and plays cards when he has the colic. Without freedom life goes backward. Freedom is to man what water is to fish. A man who forfeits freedom poisons his noblest impulses, smothers the sweetest joys of life in their bloom, and murders himself.

  Pastor But—oh my! Those are the things a tutor must put up with. No one can do what he likes all the time, my son understands that, but—

  Hasty It was about the horse, your worship.

  Privy Councillor So much the worse if he puts up with it, so much the worse. Blast it, reverend, you didn’t raise your son to be a common servant. And what is he now but a servant?

  Pastor But, your worship! Goodness gracious!

  Hasty Stick to the horse, father.

  Pastor Good God, sir! There have to be tutors in this world.

  Privy Councillor In my opinion tutors are not needed in this world. Worthless trash, that’s what they are.

  Pastor Your worship, I didn’t come here to be insulted. I was a tutor myself once. Good day.

  Hasty Father!

  Pastor I’m not a hot-headed man, but how can I listen to such absurdities? Tutors are useless, you say. I hear your son is studying at the university of Halle. Who taught him sense and good manners?

  Privy Councillor Why, I had the good judgment to send him to public school. And the few principles he needs to conduct himself as a scholar and a gentleman, he got from me. We talked it over at the dinner table.

  Pastor I see—(takes out his watch)—alas, your worship, I haven’t time for prolonged disputations. I’m a plain pastor, a shepherd of souls, and when once in a blue moon I come all the way from Ingelshausen I have errands to do.

  Hasty Your worship, couldn’t you …

  Pastor Forget it, son. Come along!

 
Hasty The horse. Couldn’t you put in a word with your brother? The worst of it is that I never get away from Insterburg. For six whole months—I’m coming, father—I haven’t left … I was promised a horse to ride to Königsberg every three months!

  Privy Councillor What do you want to go to Königsberg for?

  Hasty Visit the libraries, your worship.

  Privy Councillor The brothels seems more likely. Been feeling your oats? (The Pastor goes out)

  Hasty Your worship … Something terrible may happen … (Follows his father)

  Privy Councillor (calling after them) My brother hasn’t enough horses for his farm, and here you are, wanting one for your dissipations.

  Act Three

  9

  Halle.

  Squint, Fritz.

  Fritz Look what she’s sent me. She copied it out of the Klopstock I gave her:

  “Oh thou, to find thee I learned love,

  Which has exalted my swelling heart

  And now, in ever sweeter dreams,

  Is wafting me to Paradise.”

  And this one:

  “Great, O Mother Nature, is the glory of thy invention On every field and meadow …”

  And now she’s drawing from nature. But what are you brooding about?

  Squint A metaphysical problem, brother, a philosophical problem. I’ll dissect it for you. Let us assume that a woman’s body and senses are directed toward an object—a particular man—and so likewise are her soul and mind—in other words that the thought of her mind and the desires of her body coincide, then everything is as it should be and without philosophical interest. Agreed?

  Fritz Agreed. But what are you driving at?

  Squint That it becomes of philosophical interest when she loves one man A and desires, or gives her body to, another man, B.

  Fritz Is that an actual case?

  Squint A hypothetical case. But what is the solution? Is it the body or the spirit that counts? You see that the problem is philosophical.

  Fritz You mean: should we say that she loves A or that she’s sleeping with B?

  Squint Precisely: And what’s the answer?

  Fritz I suppose you want me to say that the spirit counts. But why are you trembling? Has it anything to do with you?

  Squint Berg, there are times when I feel almost weary of philosophy. (He bursts into tears) Oh, Buttress, Buttress! Why did you have to take my place at the meeting with Miss Swandown? Why did you take her to the shooting gallery to put in a word for me? If only I had had a coat! It was for me, for me that you fondled her and got her with child!

  Fritz So that’s it. Has Buttress confessed? Poor Squint.

  Squint Poor Squint! Doubly poor, for he lacks the wherewithal to help the unhappy creatures. Poor Squint, always flunking, ruined by his perseverance in antagonizing Professor Wolffen. So that now he is unable to do his duty.

  Fritz What duty?

  Squint Don’t you see? The surgeon wants twenty thalers.

  Fritz But good Lord, not from you. It wasn’t you that …

  Squint But it was done for my sake and no one else’s. I’m the one she loves. If he hadn’t gone in my stead, she’d never have … Her tear-drenched face haunts my dreams: when Buttress brought her to me, she took my hand and whispered: “We talked of nothing but you the whole time.” How can I abandon her?

  Fritz (embraces him) Magnanimous Squint. I understand. What will you do? What shall we do? Yes, we. Am I not your friend? Your duty is my duty. Command my purse.

  Squint Fritz, oh Fritz, can it be true? Is the earth peopled by a race of philosophers?

  Fritz (gives him money) Quick, take it. I had it on me because I was going to Insterburg for the holidays.

  Squint Then I won’t accept it. Your Gussie! I shouldn’t wonder if she needed you badly, straining her eyes for the sight of you. And no Fritz appears to embrace her. He sacrifices his travel money for Miss Swandown …

  Fritz Forget it, Squint, let’s say that I am not overcome by emotion but guided by reason. My girl expects me for the holidays, she says so in her letter. (Reads) “In your Easter holidays you will find a bolder Juliet!” Frankly, Squint, those words frightened me. No, believe me, I shall do better not to go home this year. I’m not the chaste Joseph I used to be. I too have developed in this Halle of yours.

  Squint How can I ever repay you, brother?

  Fritz By teaching me more about your rebellious Immanuel Kant during the holidays. I’ll have got the better of the bargain.

  Squint I will—though his rebellion is limited to the realm of ideas. (The doorbell rings)

  (Squint leaps to the window)

  Squint Here they are!

  (Enter Buttress and Miss Swandown)

  Buttress Well, we’re back. The Hunold woman wants thirty thalers.—Miss Swandown is indisposed. A glass of water would help.

  Squint My dear, adorable child, you find me—my friend here too, he knows all—overcome with tenderness.

  Buttress Tenderness is all very well, but how about some cash?

  Squint Everything will be all right. But first that glass of …

  Buttress All right, you say? You’ll cough up? You’ve got money? Don’t run away! You’ve got it?

  Squint Miss Swandown, I won’t keep you in suspense another minute. I shall do my duty without reserve or delay.

  Buttress Twenty thalers?

  Squint (counts out the money on the table) Rendered liquid by the profound influences of philosophy!—Twenty thalers!

  Miss Swandown You’re very kind, Mr. Squint, seeing you didn’t get anything out of it for yourself.

  Buttress Don’t say that. But you’ve done a good deed. Kiss her, honest Squint, you deserve it.

  Squint (with a deep bow) Your humble servant, Miss Swandown.

  (Buttress and Miss Swandown leave)

  Squint There must be something good in Buttress, or he wouldn’t be so crude. He’s eating his heart out. (Returns the purse to Fritz) You have acted on the principles of Immanuel Kant, Brother Berg. (Looks for something in a book) “So act that you can will the maxim of your action to become universal law.” Writings on Morals, Part One, Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysics of Morals, Chapter Two.

  10

  Insterburg, Gussie’s room.

  Gussie and Hasty, in bed.

  Hasty Your father’s been to blame from the start. Why did he have to scrimp on a teacher for you? Then in the same burst of avarice he reduced my pay. And now he wants to cut me down to a hundred and twenty thalers for next year. I shall have to quit.

  Gussie But what will I do then?

  Hasty Get them to send you to my father’s rectory in Ingelshausen.

  Gussie My uncle would never let my father send me to your father’s house.

  Hasty Confound his beastly nobleman’s pride!

  Gussie (takes his hand) Don’t be angry, Hermann! (Kisses him) Oh, dear teacher, how does your pupil look? As pale as death?

  Hasty As fit as a fiddle. Now, I need your advice.—Yesterday your brother slapped my face again.

  Gussie You must bear it for my sake.

  Hasty Then maybe I needn’t regret my failure to control myself. I suppose I’m being fed too well for a slave. The celery, the turkey, the chocolate—how can a body so pampered help succumbing to sin?

  Gussie Faugh! Is that the language of love? It was fate, my dear teacher.

  Hasty (as she continues to raise his hand intermittently to her lips) Let me think … (Sits up in thought)

  Gussie (in the pantomime described) Oh, Romeo, if this were thy hand!—Why hast thou abandoned me, ignoble Romeo? Dost not thou know that thy Juliet is dying for love of thee—hated, despised, rejected by all the world, by her whole family? (Presses his hands to her eyes) Cruel Romeo!

  Hasty (looks up) What are you raving about?