by Lara Swann
She gives me a skeptical look, but finally lets it drop with a roll of her eyes.
“Soo?” She asks.
“So what?”
“Do you like her?”
I’m starting to regret this with every passing moment. Somehow, when I suggested it, I had this image in my head of my sister being awesome. I don’t know what I was thinking.
“Of course I like her, Em. I wouldn’t be dating her otherwise.”
“Yeah, but is she special? Is she the one?”
I sigh dramatically, hoping that maybe she’ll get all of these comments out before Ava arrives.
“Well?”
Any other day I’d probably give her a lecture on the mathematical probability of ‘the one’, but…there’s too much tugging at the inside of my chest to feel like any of that.
“Yeah…yeah, I think she might be.” I finally admit, to Emily’s wide-eyed excitement. “So don’t screw this up, okay? Be nice tonight.”
“I’m always nice—”
The doorbell rings at just that moment and I give my sister one last warning look before walking toward the door.
Thank goodness, she at least has enough sense not to try and follow me.
I open the door and my breath leaves me all at once. I would have thought seeing Ava more often now might have lessened the effect of it, but…no. Every time.
“You look gorgeous.” I say with a smile, leaning down to kiss her.
I put a little more into it than I intend, it goes just a little bit longer than a casual ‘hello’ kiss should…and by the time I step back, we’re both breathing a little more raggedly and her lipstick is slightly smudged. I’m sure that means there’s some on me, but I don’t think I care at all.
“Have I mentioned I love your hair like this?” I murmur, reaching up to touch the curls bouncing over her shoulders.
She’s wearing a beautiful midnight blue dress with sleeves off to the side of her shoulders, leaving a neckline that I just want to mark with nibbles and kisses and…
“Thanks. Vicki did it - I’ve got to be honest, I’m useless with hair.” She smiles up at me, eyes sparkling, and for a brief moment I consider forgetting this whole evening and whisking her away somewhere else.
Anywhere we could be alone. Where we can go out and be ourselves and not have to worry about bumping into anyone who might know us.
“Give her my compliments then.” I say, just standing there for a moment taking her in.
She glances over my shoulder, giving me a questioning look. Right. We’re meant to be having dinner. With my sister.
“Mm, listen…” I say first, glancing over my shoulder and lowering my voice briefly. “You know that when I met Vicki, you said she could be…an experience?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, my sister might be one too. Just so you know.”
Ava just laughs, leaning in to kiss me again.
“Sounds perfect then.”
I smile, feeling warm all over again, and offer her my arm. She giggles as she takes it and I guess it is a slightly old-fashioned gesture, but I don’t care. I just want her close to me.
Emily is sitting on one of the kitchen counters when we step into the open living space and she perks up as soon as she sees us.
“I was starting to wonder if you’d got lost, bro.” She grins at me, jumping down from the counter and walking over as I groan inwardly. “Not that I minded. I mean, if you two would rather I just…”
“Emily.” I interrupt, trying to ignore the way Ava is obviously trying not to laugh next to me. “This is Ava. Ava, this is my sister Emily. Just remember, she’s family, so I didn’t actually choose her.”
“It’s lovely to meet you.” Ava says, smiling at Emily, though it wobbles a bit with her attempt to keep a straight face.
“Thanks.” Emily shoots me a look, before grinning back at Ava. “And it’s good to meet you too! Honestly, Damien hasn’t dated in so long, and I don’t think I’ve ever been introduced to anyone—”
“I wonder why.” I mutter.
“—so this is pretty cool.”
The doorbell rings again and Emily looks up, bouncing on her toes.
“Ooh, food, I’ll get it. That was pretty great timing, don’t you think?”
She throws the comment over her shoulder, already heading in that direction, and I take the moment to turn to Ava with a groan.
“I’m sorry…”
Ava stops trying to control herself, laughing as she steps in to give me a quick hug.
“I love her.” She says, gasping slightly between little bursts of laughter.
“You do?” I ask skeptically. “I mean, I’m not even sure that I love her, right at this moment…”
“She reminds me of Vicki back when we were in college.”
I consider that for a moment, thinking back to my brief encounter with Ava’s best friend, and I can see what she means.
“It’s heeere!” Emily calls from behind us, walking past with steaming bags of food.
The smell instantly makes me hungry - enough that I think I can forget about everything that just happened and hope the rest of the evening has a little more food and a few less of Emily’s comments.
“I was going to cook.” I explain to Ava as we walk over to the table that Emily is already laying the containers of food onto. “But my little sister here insisted that we had to have this pasta tonight.”
“It’s the best.” She says, with a big grin at Ava. “I mean, don’t get me wrong bro, your cooking is pretty good - but you don’t always get the pasta right, sometimes it’s just a little too soft, and this little place we know is simply amazing. I’ve been missing it for…ohh it feels like forever!”
She tucks the bags away somewhere behind her and starts opening containers.
“I’ve been away for the last few months.” She adds with a brief glance in Ava’s direction, explaining. “So I’ve spent the last week catching up on all the takeout I’ve been craving and—ohh, god, do you smell that? You’re going to love it, trust me.”
I don’t even try to interrupt the flow of words that seems to come out of her. Was she always like this? I don’t quite remember this much…talking…before she went away, but maybe I just forgot about it over the months I didn’t see her. That, or traveling has made her more confident - and given her an awful lot more to say.
I take the moment she pauses for breath to gesture at the table.
“Go ahead.” I tell her, amused. “Let’s all sit down and start, shall we?”
“Ooh, yes, good idea.” Emily takes me at my word, and as she starts helping herself to the various different pastas she insisted we get so that Ava could try everything, there’s finally silence for long enough for someone else to say something.
“Damien mentioned you’d been traveling for a while.” Ava says, with a genuine smile as she looks at my sister. “Whereabouts did you go?”
That’s all it takes to set her off again and she eagerly describes her experiences traveling as Ava and I start eating. I don’t think my sister even realizes that she barely touches the food she was so excited for as she talks about it all, and I can’t help smiling a little to myself. At least that’s one thing that makes this easy - with Emily around, it’s not like we’re ever going to struggle to make conversation.
Ava is obviously enjoying it too, listening with a smile on her face and asking questions about one part or another. The slight wistfulness in her expression makes me think back to Katy’s comments earlier, and the curiosity it prompted about whether Ava would be interested in something like that.
Emily seems to notice it too - either that, or she’s still caught up in recommending everyone she meets go and do something similar.
“Have you been anywhere?” She asks, looking over at Ava after finishing a fun little story about being sold tickets for a “sturdy” ferry to get to an island, and ending up on a fishing trawler - one that I hadn’t heard yet. It makes me wonder how m
any stories like that are going to come out over the years.
Ava shakes her head with a little smile. “No, I’ve barely even been out of California. The furthest I’ve gone is New York, and that was only the other month.”
Emily’s gaze flicks over to me for just a moment, and I know she’s thinking about my comments about that trip to New York. I keep my face carefully blank, but Emily picks up where she left off almost immediately.
“Would you like to? You should definitely go! Hey, you should both go together.” She looks between us with a grin. “I mean, I had a whole lot of fun by myself, but there were times I thought it would’ve been nice to have someone to share the whole thing with.”
Ava laughs softly. “It’s a nice idea—”
“Aww, c’mon, why not?” Emily picks up on the dismissal immediately.
“Now is probably not quite the right time.” She shakes her head with a small smile. “Maybe eventually, though.”
Emily huffs out a breath. “That’s what everyone says - and why it never happens. What’s wrong with ‘now’?”
Ava gives me a quick glance, and for a moment the air feels heavy with this secret we have - our baby at the front of both of our minds.
“I’m working on a project that I hope will turn into longer term employment - not exactly the best time to disappear, huh?” She says calmly enough, and I feel a slight churning in my gut at the small lie.
I don’t like it, not with the people closest to me, but I also know that introducing Ava to my sister as the woman I accidentally got pregnant is far too much all at once. I have no idea what my sister would think of me having a baby out of nowhere, but…I’d rather she get to know Ava a little bit first.
“Mm, well, maybe…” Emily says, considering, and she gives me a slightly cautious look before venturing the next question. “So what are you working on? Is it fun, at least?”
She knows that Ava is working with me and that it’s made a few things difficult, so I guess she’s not sure whether it’s an okay thing to talk about. I give her a slight nod, shrugging - Ava knows that I’ve told her that, and besides, it would be pretty hard to get to know Ava without talking about her work at all. She’s too passionate about it for anything else.
It reassures me, though, and I guess that for all Emily’s excited enthusiasm and slightly inappropriate comments, at least she wants to make sure Ava is comfortable. It’s just me she doesn’t have any problem embarrassing.
I guess it’s just me who’s at risk of coming away squirming from this dinner. Little sisters, hm?
I can’t bring myself to mind too much though - I’d rather Ava enjoy herself than anything else.
“It’s so much fun.” Ava grins, then starts explaining about the design work she’s doing on my app.
She doesn’t have any problem mentioning that it’s my app and Emily relaxes just a bit - then gets drawn into the conversation on design, asking all about where she studied and the different aspects she’s interested in. Ava suddenly remembers Emily’s own background in interior design….aaaand that’s where I lose them.
I end up leaning back, eating far more than either of them do as I watch the animated conversation about concepts I can vaguely picture, but have absolutely no opinion about. I don’t mind that, though - if anything, it’s amazing to watch the two people I care about most getting on so well and enjoying each others’ company so much they seem to forget I’m here at all.
I guess that counts as a success, right?
By the time we get to the end of dessert, Emily is sighing with satisfaction and leaning back in her chair with a beaming smile - and I don’t think it’s because of the tiramisu.
“This is so nice.” She says. “I’m so glad I got to meet you.”
“Me too.” Ava replies warmly. “It’s been a lovely evening.”
“I always wanted a sister.” Emily suddenly says, grinning with a small glance at me. “I mean, Damien’s great and all, but girls are just different - do you have any sisters?”
“No, no siblings at all actually.”
“Ooh, then this is perfect for both of us. We both get a sister now!”
She leans forward to squeeze Ava’s hand excitedly and Ava laughs, shaking her head as she rolls her eyes at me.
“Okay, now I can see the resemblance.”
I raise an eyebrow at that.
“You both jump straight to things like that, when we’ve really only just started dating.” She says, with a teasing smile, but then she squeezes Emily’s hand back. “But yes, I’d like that. I’d like to have a sister, too.”
Emily smiles back, and something about it tugs at my heart.
Family.
That’s what this feels like - and I’m starting to think that maybe it’s the only thing that’s ever really mattered to me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ava
I fidget as I sit in my parents’ living room, my nerves building with every moment now that I’m finally doing this.
After the last couple of weeks with Damien, there’s no doubt it feels enough like I’ve worked things out and have an idea about how it’s going to go for me to tell my parents.
I’m starting to regret asking to talk to them like this though. It definitely doesn’t help that sitting on this armchair with them watching carefully from the couch opposite takes me back to almost every other ‘family discussion’ we’ve had, when they tried to warn me about alcohol or cigarettes or sex. Awkward conversations at the best of times.
Only this one is worse, because I was the one to suggest it.
I just wanted to do this properly - to make sure I had their attention and they could see that I was doing it properly.
“Are you okay, sweetie?” Mom looks over at me, a small frown of concern and concentration on her face. “You know we’re here for you, whatever you want to talk about. Has something happened at work?”
Dad looks similarly worried, and I can see them exchange a couple of glances. All because I don’t know quite how to say ‘I’m pregnant’. It doesn’t help that I’ve waited so long, I know that, but this time I’m determined not to just blurt it out.
I take a deep breath.
“I know. I’m sorry that I haven’t been around for a while and I haven’t been in touch much. I’ve just…been trying to sort things out. I wanted to tell you properly.” I look up to meet their eyes, and finally manage a little smile as the idea of what I’m about to say rises up through me. This is good news. And I’m suddenly so glad that I waited until I truly felt that. “I’m pregnant.”
Mom blinks at me, her expression briefly owl-like, and Dad just stares - but I continue before they can say anything. Before they can worry.
“It was—well, it was unexpected. But I’m actually…I’m really thrilled. It’s just taken a little time to work things out—everything it means—and—”
“Wait…ah…” Mom interrupts, that frown line slightly deeper as she gives me a cautious look. “But…I didn’t know you were seeing anyone, sweetie.”
I can hear the question there - and the concern behind it - and I can’t help the sudden lightness inside me as I think of Damien.
“Well, it’s, um, it’s been quite new. And obviously this is a whole lot faster than we were expecting things to go, but - we’re working it out - and - and I think it’s going to be okay.”
“He’s going to do the right thing by you, then?” Dad’s deeper voice rumbles from the other end of the couch and I can’t help it, I can feel the flush rise into my face.
I’m pretty sure that means get married and the idea of that…there’s only so many crazy life changes I can take right now.
“He wants this baby.” I say instead. “And we’re going to work it out together. We’re still taking it slow, getting to know each other, dating…but…well, I think eventually…”
I trail off, not quite able to say it out loud. It feels like if I do that, the whole thing might still vanish in front of my ey
es. But…well…deep inside…I really mean it when I say I’m hopeful. I actually think this could all work out. And I’m so glad that I get to come here and talk about that instead of arrive with another life crisis for my parents to deal with.
“How long have you known, sweetheart?” Mom asks softly. “Why didn’t you tell us? It’s…a lot…to try and deal with by yourself. We would have helped—”
“I know. I do know that.” I take a deep breath. “I just…I wanted to deal with this one myself. It feels like lately all I’ve come to you with are problems and dramatic life changes and you’ve helped me pick up the pieces - I’ll always be grateful for that - but this is my baby and…well…I needed to feel I could be responsible myself.”
I think Mom still looks a little bit hurt, but she’s nodding along anyway and I think she understands. She’s still staring at me though and her eyes keep flicking to my stomach. The same way my hand keeps doing.
“So…you’re really…” She breathes lightly, and I can see the color start to come back to her face. “And…it’s all okay?”
I nod, barely able to believe it myself. “It’s all okay. I think.”
“So we can just…” She glances over at my Dad, the hint of a smile at her lips. “We’re going to be…grandparents?”
Now the smile that’s been building inside me really does shine out of me, the nerves and anxiety falling away as I get to enjoy this feeling - everything that having a baby brings.
“You’re going to be grandparents.” I say, still half-awed myself. “And I’m going to be…a Mom.”
That still terrifies me a little, but there’s no denying how much it excites me too.
And Damien is going to be a Dad.
Mom rushes forward all of a sudden, pulling me up from the armchair and wrapping her arms around me.
“I don’t believe it.” She breathes again. “Really?”
“Really.” I feel like laughing suddenly, the pressure that I’ve felt the last couple of weeks at keeping this from them melting away from me.
“Brian.” Mom says to Dad over my shoulder. “Oh my god, Brian, a baby!”