by Lara Swann
“Why didn’t you just ask me? That other day when I was driving you here…I thought you didn’t want me to help.”
I blink, shaking my head again.
“No, I just—I didn’t think about it.”
I don’t know why I didn’t. I should have. Isn’t is obvious? Of course he has good insurance - I could have asked. Hell, my back-up plan was to ask my parents whether they could get something on their insurance. Why didn’t I think about Damien?
He’s still looking at me strangely, and I give a slow shrug.
“I’m just not used to having someone to ask, I guess. I’m used to doing things for myself.”
He strokes my cheek again. “Well, I hope you get used to having me around sooner rather than later, then. I don’t want you worrying about these things - I don’t want you worrying about anything. You don’t need to.”
I laugh at that. The idea of worrying about nothing is far too foreign to seem real.
When he starts to frown at that, I stop, raising my hand to rest on his chest.
“We’ll see.” I say, then correct it. “I mean, I’ll try, okay?”
“Okay.” He gives a slow nod.
“So, do I need to sign something?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder at the forms on the counter.
“Yes, I’ll show you where. And I was going to say - once you do…we should book that scan.”
“Yeah.” I breathe, smiling at the very idea.
Before, it was something I was worrying about - but now, well, now I can just enjoy it. We can just enjoy it.
I glance back over my shoulder. “You’ll come, right?”
He raises an eyebrow at me. “You wouldn’t be able to stop me.”
My mouth curves as I think about how very true that probably is.
“We’ll get to see our baby for the first time. Together.” I say softly, leaning back into him.
His arms come around my chest and he nods against my head. I can feel the smile in his words.
“I can’t wait, Ava. I’m so excited by all this, I think I could burst.”
I laugh. It’s been something that’s felt like it’s been stressful and hard for so long - even though I’ve only known for less than three weeks - but now I’m finally starting to get to that point. Where I can just relax and enjoy it. With Damien.
“I’m keeping the baby.” I say, probably belatedly, but even though it’s become so obvious to me - I realize I haven’t told him yet.
“Obviously.”
I twist my head around to look at him, scowling at the smug tone to his voice.
“Dick.”
But I lean to kiss him anyway, a quick touch that becomes something more within the space of a heartbeat. My neck is twisted and it’s an awkward angle, but our tongues meet with sudden intensity and need. I moan into his mouth, reaching to grip his hand on the counter and squeeze it hard as he starts grinding against my ass. I get wet again within moments.
“So…we’re done with the paperwork, right?” I breathe.
I haven’t even signed anything yet - but that can wait, I’m sure of it.
“Not quite.” He says, before withdrawing with reluctance.
I can’t believe it. The dick.
“One more thing.” He says, tapping the other document on the counter, even though the last thing I’m interested in is turning to face it. “The lease for this apartment - I’ve had them transfer it into your name, take me out of it completely. It’s all paid for twelve months, so you can do what you like with—”
“What?!”
Once again, somehow, his casual announcement manages to distract me from some very nice fantasies. Things that wouldn’t have been fantasies if he’d just continued for a few moments more—
“Sorry, what?”
“The place is yours for the next twelve months, whatever else happens.” He confirms, and I turn around to look at him properly, even pushing him away enough that the nearness of his body can’t distract me from what he’s saying.
I’m just staring at him, so he continues slowly, taking one of my hands.
“I didn’t want the apartment to be part of this, or to influence anything, one way or another. You’re right that we need to get to know each other and work things out - this shouldn’t be part of that. This way, all that is separate - and we’ll both know you’re with me because you want to be, not for any other reason.”
I just blink at him. I’m not sure I’ve quite gotten past ‘paid for twelve months’ yet.
“I’m always going to take care of our baby, Ava.” He says softly, stroking my cheek with the back of one hand. “This covers twelve months - and I’m hoping that will be enough time for you to believe me when I say this is all going to work out. I’m hoping by the end of that, we might not need this place anymore. But I promise you, I’ll always take care of you - both of you.”
I can’t help it, this time the tears do slip over the edge of my eyes. I step forward and wrap my arms around him, squeezing hard as I try to understand what this means. Having a place of my own…not having to worry…for a whole year.
I look up at him as it slowly, very slowly, starts to sink in.
“This…really is real, isn’t it?” I say, my voice barely audible. “It’s actually…happening.”
He nods, with a smile so tender I think my heart might break, as he leans down to brush his lips over mine.
“It’s real, Ava. I promise you. It’s all real, and it’s all yours.”
I gasp, a sob ripping out of me, just the one, and bury myself in his chest.
How did this ever happen to me? How did I get so lucky?
He holds me like that for a while, kissing the top of my head and squeezing me tight against him. I think it might be the best place in the world.
Eventually, I finally get myself together enough to sign the contracts. He suggests I read through them all first, but I dismiss that with a comment about trusting him. That’s true of course, but it’s more that I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t understand a word they said, and I don’t feel like admitting that to him.
“There.” He says, once I’ve signed the areas he’s pointed to, turning me back around to face him. “Now, I believe we were in the middle of—”
My cell phone starts buzzing in my pocket, cutting him off. I pull back enough to reach it, taking it out - and grimacing as soon as I see who it is.
Mom.
I sigh, placing it on the counter and shifting awkwardly, trying not to think too much about that. Or about the several other missed calls I’ve had this week, that I’ve only sent quick follow-up messages in response to. With everything that’s going on and everything I haven’t quite told them…I haven’t been able to face talking to my parents.
“You’re not going to take it?”
I shake my head. “Not right now, no.”
“I think we can wait another few minutes, Ava.” He gives me a heated smile that slowly fades as he catches my expression. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I shrug, not at all sure that I want to talk about it.
He gives me a look, his hands resting on my shoulders. “Ava, you suddenly look worried all over again - something I just told you I wanted to take care of. At least tell me what’s bothering you.”
I can’t help it, the way his hands are gently massaging me loosens some of the sudden tension in my shoulders and as the cell phone stops vibrating, I admit it.
“I—I haven’t told them yet. They don’t know…about…”
“You think they’ll disapprove?” He asks, his voice gentle.
“No!” I say immediately, shaking my head. “No, they won’t. If anything, they’ll probably be thrilled at the idea of having a grandchild, but it’s just…well…it feels like I’ve been relying on them for far too much recently, and I didn’t want to go to them and ask for more help. I wanted to wait until I’d sorted it myself, until I had some kind of plan and something to show them…”
He nods sl
owly, then gives me a small smile. “Well, you have some of that now, right?”
“Yeah…” I sigh. It’s true, and especially now I know I’m keeping the baby, I should talk to them. “I know I do, it’s just…I think I’ve been avoiding it too long, and…well, it’s stupid, but all of this feels so new that it’s hard to believe enough to say out loud…”
I trail off, knowing how stupid that sounds - but I think some part of me has been afraid that the very act of telling my parents about this will make it all disappear, vanish in some cloud of smoke. I don’t want him to think I don’t trust him, because more than ever I’m starting to think I do. It’s just…
“I know what you mean - and it’s hard for this to feel real when we’re sneaking around like this, too. I want nothing more than to shout about it all to the world—”
“But…” I blink at him. “What about your deal? Surely that would be too much for your super conservative trust to accept? Getting an employee pregnant - when we’re barely even together?”
He’s mentioned the issues he’s having with them and all the hoops he’s trying to jump through enough times that I thought it was obvious that keeping this quiet was for both of us, but he just shrugs.
“Maybe. I’m not sure I care anymore - I’d rather everyone know about this than anything else, and if I can’t find a way to convince them how amazing this is, well, screw them.” I stare at him, and I think he must see some of the sudden alarm on my face, because he quickly adds. “But I do understand why we need to keep it quiet, Ava, really. I know it’s not the same for you, and it’s okay. I can wait until the end of this project.”
I nod, starting to breathe normally again. I’m still not ready to be known as the girl who slept with one of the clients and got pregnant, not at all. Even if being pregnant might slow things down, I still want a chance at the career I’ve spent my life working for.
“But you know…” Damien murmurs, drawing my attention back to him. “I’ve been thinking about it and…well, I was going to ask if you wanted to meet Emily. My sister. I might not be able to tell the world about us, but I’d like to introduce you to the most important person in my life.”
I swallow suddenly. I know exactly what this means to him - just how important his sister is - and I can’t quite make words form as I nod.
“Yes.” I say, after a moment. “Yes, Damien…I’d love that. I want to meet her.”
He smiles, suddenly seeming radiant after the serious tone to our conversation, and he leans in to kiss me.
“This might have happened quickly, Ava, but it’s real. I promise you that. What we have here…it’s only a matter of time before everyone knows.”
The way he’s looking at me - everything he’s said and done today - it’s like every doubt I have is being washed away, piece by piece…until there’s nothing left but him, and me, and the endless possibility of our future together.
Very slowly, I nod.
I don’t know how, but something about him makes it impossible to believe anything else.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Damien
“Okay, I think we’re about done then…as much as we can be, anyway.” Katy sighs, leaning back in her chair and tapping the table with one finger. “I’ve got to say, though, I don’t think I like all this waiting around.”
I smile at her, amused. Katy always gets impatient when nothing is quite finalized but there’s nothing more she can work on either.
“I have it on good authority that the design team is working at an exceptional pace - I think it’s only fair they need a couple of months to get it all up and running.”
They’ve finished all the prototypes, but now they’re working with my team of programmers to implement it all. Usually, the prototypes would be enough to complete a deal like this, but as usual, Prestige have insisted on making things difficult.
I don’t tell her exactly where my ‘good authority’ comes from - or that, this time, I’m secretly as impatient as she is. Usually, I’m calm enough about these things not to worry about deals while we’re waiting for work to be done, but this time…well, I have my own reasons to want Two-Bit to finish as quickly as possible.
“I think it’s just that Prestige has gone totally quiet on us. It makes me nervous.”
“I’d rather that than have them getting in the way and pointing out unnecessary issues.” I point out, laughing. “Don’t worry, Katy, I think they’ll be blown away by the end result.”
She worries her bottom lip for a moment, but finally gives in and relaxes back into the chair.
“I hope so, Damien. I hope you’re right.”
“I usually am.” I reassure her, to be met with a deliberate roll of the eyes. “I think the best thing for us to do is just continue as usual and forget about it until they finish.”
“Easy for you to say.” She mutters, then shakes her head at me. “I wish I had your ability not to worry about it - though this one is impressive even for you. With a deal this size, you’d usually be a little more nervous.”
I shrug, but I can’t help the smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. This time, I have something else to think about - something far more absorbing than the state of this deal with Prestige, however much that’s going to be worth for my company. Truthfully, I’m finding it hard to give my company even the small amount of attention it’s requiring at the moment - half the time I’m too distracted thinking about Ava, fantasizing about life together and caught in the wonder-fear-awe of what it will be like to have a baby to look after.
This deal just can’t compare to any of that.
When I look up, I find Katy smiling at me.
“What?”
“I don’t know, you just seem a little…different, recently. Happier.” She gives me a fond look. “I was starting to get a little worried about you, but I think Emily coming back has been really good for you.”
I hesitate, suddenly wanting to tell her - the same urge I’ve had so many times. Katy is my best friend and it feels strange to have this huge part of my life that she knows nothing about…I can’t remember the last time it’s been that way between us.
But I stop myself before I say anything. I can’t wait until I can, but I remind myself it’s not fair to Ava. If Katy didn’t work here, it would be different, but she’s also my business partner and aside from what she’ll say to me about getting one of our semi-employees pregnant…I don’t want Ava to have to deal with someone else in the office knowing.
So it has to wait. For now.
“Yeah, maybe.” I say, not wanting to directly lie to her.
“But you know…she’s not going to be around forever though, right?” The concern comes back into Katy’s eyes. “I know she’s staying with you for now, but she has her own life now. You’re not going to be able to take care of her forever.”
No, not her…but Ava…my baby…
I blink as that suddenly occurs to me.
I’ve spent my whole life looking out for Emily - and when she left for college, I thought I finally had some of the freedom I was craving. That’s why I started going out so much. Unless…it wasn’t that desire for freedom driving me…but trying to fill some gap that was left when she was gone.
I wonder suddenly whether that’s what Katy has been thinking this whole time.
“I know.” I say softly, wanting more than ever to tell her about Ava, but I shake myself and settle for a half-measure instead. “But I was thinking…maybe after this deal is over, I’ll do what you suggested after all. Take some time out - maybe find something for myself.”
The smile Katy gives me could light up the room and she reaches over to squeeze my arm.
“That sounds great, Damien. Really, it sounds great. I think you should - this place can manage fine without you.”
I nod, smiling back, and feeling a little guilty that I’m not telling her I’ve already found that thing. That person. Something to give me meaning again.
A family. Maybe that�
��s what I was missing.
“Did Emily finally convince you to go traveling then?” She grins, and I laugh. I don’t think I’ve heard anything else from my sister since she got back.
“She still has some way to go on that one.” I admit.
Though…I wonder whether Ava would want to? At some point?
It’s almost strange that my thoughts seem to have shifted from what I might want to do…to what we might want to do, together. But strange in a good way. I like it.
“Talking of which.” I add. “If we’re done here, I have a dinner date with my sister to get to.”
Katy grins again. “Of course you do. You know, Damien, if you take some time off maybe you’ll finally find someone other than your sister - or me - to date.”
I laugh, I can’t help it, and I hope that covers the smile that I can feel wanting to shine out of me.
“Maybe I will, Katy. Maybe I will.”
* * *
“You know, this is a lot quicker than I thought you’d suggest this, bro.” Emily flicks her hair over her shoulders and takes one last look in the oven-turned-mirror. “Do I look okay?”
I laugh at her. “Emily, Ava isn’t going to care what you look like.”
“The answer is ‘yes’, bro, it’s always ‘yes’. God, I’m going to need to give you lessons if you’re going to actually date someone. You’re clueless.”
“Thanks.” I say dryly, but I’m secretly pleased by the light-hearted banter.
Anything to distract me from the butterflies in my stomach right now - or how much I want this to go well. I tell myself there’s no reason why the two most important people in my life shouldn’t like each other, but still…you never know, right?
“So you must really like her, then.”
“What?” I ask, struggling to follow my sister’s mile-a-minute thought pattern.
“To want me to meet her so quickly. I mean, no offense, but I’m surprised you didn’t scare her off with the whole ‘meeting the family’ idea a few weeks after you started dating. As I said, we need to talk, bro. There are so many things you need to know about—”
“Emily. I’m seven years older than you. I know more than enough about dating.”