by Lara Swann
“Thank you.” I say again, trying not to sound choked up about it. “I…I really appreciate that.”
She gives me a small smile and nods.
“There was one other thing.”
Oh, yes, right. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to pay the slightest attention to anything else, but, damn…
“Um, yes?”
“You know we’re flying out to New York again at the end of the month, to present the new system to Prestige.”
I nod. I know more about that than I probably should, actually, as much as Damien and I try to avoid talking about work.
“I’d like you to be one of the people that explain aspects of the new system, and some of our design choices, at that meeting.”
I blink at her, stunned once again.
“Me?”
I don’t realize I ask that out loud until she chuckles.
“Yes, you. Some of those design choices were based on ideas you had, and you have a good grasp of the system. I think it would be helpful to give you a more active role in that meeting…for everyone.”
I work out a second later that she’s doing this as much for me as she is for the team or the project. It would be another thing that would help put me forward for a more permanent job with Two-Bit.
I really don’t know what to say to that, how I can ever explain how much that kind of support means, so I find myself just nodding mutely.
“Yes.” I finally manage to get out, after staring at her wide-eyed for a little while. “Yes, that would be…that would be perfect.”
She smiles at me.
“Okay then, that’s sorted. And I meant what I said, too - if you need any support, I hope you would let me know.”
I nod. It seems a silly thing to be able to give her in return for everything that just happened, but I try anyway.
“Yes. I will. I promise.”
“Good. Start preparing for New York then.”
With that, she ends the impromptu meeting - but the feeling of it stays with me all day. Everything she said replaying over and over again in my head.
I know I’m grinning from ear to ear when I get back to my desk - and I get more than a few looks - but I couldn’t contain it if I wanted to.
It’s all I can do not to run straight to Damien’s office and tell him everything. But if there’s one way to lose every opportunity I’ve just been giving, it would be that. Tina might have been more supportive than I’d ever guessed about me being pregnant - another reason why I’m so keen to work for Two-Bit, and her, again - but I’m pretty sure that would change if she knew it was our client’s baby. And that I’d started actively dating him during this project.
She’s a good woman, who seems to have strong moral standards…and I’d guess that I’m breaking all of them, even if I didn’t mean to.
So instead, I text Vicki back and forth all day and only tell Damien that I have something I want to tell him as soon as possible after we both leave work. If I say anymore, I know I’m not going to be able to stop it all from spilling out.
I think we both leave early that day.
“So, what’s this exciting news?” He smiles at me as he walks into my apartment, only half an hour after I get there.
“Tina just asked me to be part of the presentation in New York!”
I grin at him, running up and flinging myself into his arms - barely giving him a chance to push the door closed with his foot.
“She wants me to explain some of how it works to Prestige and…and…she wants to give me a job!”
He looks at me for a moment, before starting to grin as widely as I am.
“A job? You got it?!”
“Yes! Well, no, not exactly. Not yet. But she’s going to help me - and she even said she’d try and do it in fifteen months. You know what that means? You know how perfect that is? Can you believe it, I—”
“Wait. She knows?” He asks, shocked. No doubt partly because of how I’m totally not freaking out about that.
“Um, yeah. That I’m pregnant, anyway. She was really good about it, actually. Apparently it’s obvious?” I frown, glancing down at my little baby bump and rubbing it softly, Damien’s arms still around me. “Did you know it was obvious? No one told me…”
“It’s been obvious to me for a long time.” He says, his voice a little rough with the affection there as he raises my chin and kisses me deeply. I laugh into his mouth, the kiss fluctuating between intense and purely joyful.
“Yeah, well, me too. But I figured that was just because we knew. I was careful…”
“You can’t hide it.” He murmurs, his eyes shining as he looks at me. “You’re glowing, Ava. I think anyone could see it on you.”
“Yeah, now you tell me that.” I grumble and he laughs, one thumb stroking along my jaw. “She doesn’t know he’s yours, though, obviously.”
“Obviously.” He murmurs again, then sighs, leaning in to kiss the top of my head. “I wish she did, Ava. I wish everyone knew.”
I swallow slightly.
“Yeah, me too, Damien. I want that more than anything.”
“I can’t wait until this project is over. I’ve got so much I want to do with you both.”
I lean into his body, wrapping my arms around his firm chest as I nod.
“It’s so close now…just this trip to New York and then those last couple of weeks…we’ll make it.” I say softly.
“And then you’ll have the job you always dreamed of.” He says, echoing the thought in my mind. “That’s worth a few more weeks. Just a few more.”
I nod.
“I really can’t believe it.” I whisper again. “It’s perfect, too. It would mean I can stay at home for a while, take care of our baby. I was worried I’d lose everything I’d gained in this job, but since Tina knows…”
“She’s going to help you out.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “You did it, Ava. I’m so proud of you.”
“Well, not quite yet.” I say, blushing. “I won’t know for certain for ages.”
“I think you’ll have more than enough to occupy you in that time.” He says, eyes sparkling at me, and I smile back.
“I’m sure I will.” I lean forward to kiss him and he steps back, letting his back fall against the door.
The sudden closeness sparks something through me, and I start getting a whole lot interested in more than just kissing.
“I guess this means you’re definitely coming to New York, then.” He says, sounding resigned.
“I was always coming to New York.”
“Well…”
That’s one of the few things we’ve had to argue about the last couple of weeks. Or ‘debate’ as Damien tends to call it.
“Are you sure you’re going to be up for it?” He asks, his eyes concerned as they skip over my face.
And that’s why they never turn into real arguments. How can I be mad when I know he just wants to make sure I’m okay?
“I’m fine.” I say, emphatically. “I feel great, actually. Much better than I did a month ago. I’m pregnant, Damien, not an invalid. I can manage a little trip to the other side of the country. I promise.”
“You’ll be careful? Take it easy?”
“Yes.” I say, resigned myself. “I’ll take it easy.”
He nuzzles at my mouth, nibbling my lower lip and setting a pool of heat growing in my stomach.
“I’m going to hate not being able to take care of you myself.” He murmurs. “Being so close to you and unable to see you properly.”
“I know.”
It’s the one thing I’m dreading about this trip. Not getting to have moments like this for a whole week. I don’t think we can risk the late-night hotel visits again - as much as I might want to. Plus, this one is going to be intense. We’ll be busy. Not that any of that makes it easier.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to get us two rooms next to each other…connecting doors…”
I laugh softly, my core squirming pleasantly
at the idea. “I wish. But no, Damien, none of that. We can last a week.”
“Can we?”
“Yes.” I say again, emphatically.
Now that I’ve got this chance, I really don’t want to ruin it.
He sighs.
“Okay then. I guess you’re just going to have to distract me from the whole thing, then.”
“Oh, am I?”
He twists us both around suddenly, so that I’m the one pressed against the wall, his whole impressive presence surrounding me. I moan softly, leaning in as he cups the back of my neck, bringing my mouth up to his.
“Okay…yes…distraction.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Damien
“What’s up with you today?”
Katy reaches over to flick me on the shoulder.
“Huh?” I say, still slightly distracted by Ava walking down the hallway outside the conference room we’re in.
“You keep looking at that girl.” Katy turns to look, then rolls her eyes at me. “C’mon, Damien, this isn’t the time for you to get distracted by a pretty face. Just leave it a few more days. We’re almost there now.”
“I’m not…” I say, preoccupied.
Does she look okay today? Is she starting to waddle a little bit? Isn’t it too early for that?
Damn it, I’ve barely seen her all week, and the dozen messages she sends me a day saying that she’s fine really aren’t enough for me to go on.
Katy glances over her shoulder again, then smirks at me. “Or are you getting broody?”
I blink, that finally grabbing my attention.
“What?”
“Well, I’ve never known you to chase after a pregnant girl before.” She laughs. “Not that I can imagine you being broody, either. Honestly, I think this deal is making us both crazy.”
“What’s so crazy about me getting broody?” I ask, before I’ve thought about it.
She just laughs some more.
“Damien, you haven’t had a serious relationship in…what…ever? I think starting to want children might be getting ahead of yourself - hell, it took years of talking for us to get to that point.”
“Not everyone waits and plans the perfect time for it, you know.”
Shit. That came out of nowhere. I’m not sure why I’m suddenly feeling so defensive about it - except that I guess this is the closest Katy and I have come to talking about it, and I don’t like her dismissal of me having a baby. Not that she would actually dismiss it, if she knew. She wouldn’t judge me…but somehow, I still feel judged right now.
I’m not really thinking right. All I can think about is Ava - and not having had her in my arms for what feels like forever.
“Sure, they don’t.” She says easily. “But most people at least have a willing partner.”
She grins at me, still teasing, and I try to give her a small smile back. I’m not being fair to her, I know, but…damn…maybe I should go and talk to Ava? Just to make sure?
“C’mon, Damien, a few more days - we can do this.” She sighs, giving up the attempt to lift me out of my weird mood and tapping the papers in front of us. “Let’s go over this presentation again, huh?”
I glance at it, barely able to remember what the key points are.
“Yeah.” I say finally, dragging my eyes away from the empty space where Ava was. “Yeah, okay.”
Right now, that’s probably a good idea. I do actually need to get through this week - and well enough that I don’t screw up everything we’ve been working on for the last few weeks.
“I get it, you know.” Katy leans forward, squeezing my hand and wrinkling her nose as she lowers her voice. “I can’t wait to be out of here too, get away from all these snobs. It’ll be a relief when this is finally over.”
“Yeah.” I say, with feeling. “I can’t wait for the end of all this.”
I’m not really talking about the deal. As important as it is, I’m not sure how much I care anymore - except that I guess it would be nice to have a little more security, now that I have a baby on the way too. I don’t really need it, but it doesn’t hurt, right?
I just want all the secrets to end. I want my family - openly and mine. I want to see Ava walk past and be able to go and ask how she is, to sweep her into my arms and kiss her the way she deserves to be kissed.
“Damien.” I look up at Katy again. “Focus.”
“Right, yes. This presentation…”
* * *
A few hours later, we’re all in one of the larger conference rooms - Two-Bit, Prestige and us - about to demo the changes we’ve made to the design of the platform we’re building.
I should be excited - I usually am at the end of a project, when we get to finally see the payoff from all the work - but instead I’m just trying very hard not to look at Ava. It’s much more hard than I think it should be.
Katy and I make our way through the introduction, highlighting the main decisions we’ve made and a few high-level points that relate to the deal we’ve put together with them. The one that, after today, should finally be fully signed and done.
It doesn’t take long and we don’t get many questions, which I’m more than thankful for, because I don’t feel at all able to give the lightning-fast responses I know I’d need to.
Then we sit down and the design team takes out place - Tina starting up the demo with the Prestige team and explaining a few of the key concepts they’ve based this on. I’ll be honest, I largely zone out, and since Ava is standing up there with them I finally have an excuse to look at her.
I don’t want to distract her - I know how important this presentation is to her, and as irritable as I feel about this week in New York, I am thrilled she’s got the opportunity. But I can’t help looking at her just a little. Hopefully not enough that she notices my eyes on her too badly - though I don’t think she does. I think she’s too focused on the idea that everyone is about to be looking at her, and I can see the nerves there.
You’ll be great, Ava. You’ll smash it.
I tell her mentally, wishing she could hear me. Wishing I’d been able to do more than text all that before this presentation.
She’s obviously breathing fast, her beautiful breasts rising and falling quickly, and I want to get her to relax - tell her to calm down, that it’s all going to be fine. Maybe I should have tried helping her out with a few practice runs, talked to her about presentations like these. I can understand why she’s nervous - but it can be a thrill, those nerves. I should have made sure I showed her that. Damn it, I’m good at this. Why didn’t she ask me to help?
Another member of the team takes over from Tina, as someone else starts clicking through the program to his comments. I try to listen - try to watch Thompson for his reaction - but I know I’m just waiting for Ava’s moment to shine.
She’s going to be perfect, whatever she’s worried about right now.
They’re going to be blown away.
Who wouldn’t?
When her colleague - damn it, I can’t even remember his name, and he introduced himself only a few moments ago - hands over to her, I try not to perk up obviously, even if that’s how I feel.
C’mon baby, you can do this. You’re going to be amazing. I can’t wait to see…
She steps forward, holding a sheet of paper in front of her, but if she’s doing this the way everyone else has, I doubt she’ll refer to it.
She looks over at Thompson for a moment and I can see the sweat start to gather on her forehead as her breathing gets even faster.
“I…” She starts, and I try not to wince as it comes out shaky. “I…ah…”
No, no, no, don’t freeze up. You can do this, Ava, you can…
She clears her throat, blinks and obviously tries to recover. I can see Tina’s concerned gaze out of the corner of my eye, but all my attention is on Ava.
“I’m sorry, I…” She says, and there’s something very wrong with her voice.
She’s breathing fast enough she�
��s almost hyperventilating and just as I’m about to stand up and say something about it, she takes an unbalanced step forward, clutching her chest. Her expression creases with pain and then—then she collapses entirely, slumping to the floor.
“Ava?” I breathe, more to myself than anyone else - and then I’m up in a heartbeat. “Ava!”
I burst out of my chair and it goes spinning away behind me as voices seem to erupt from everywhere. I can’t understand any of them, I’m too terrified as I rush to her side, falling onto my knees beside her.
“Ava? Ava, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” I’m talking to her even as she’s clearly unconscious and I raise my head to call out. “Call an ambulance! God-damn it, someone do something!”
I don’t even wait for a reply - I grab my own phone and I’m dialing the number quicker before I can think about it, my own heart rate shooting through the roof.
“Ava…Ava…please be okay. You have to be okay.”
I’m stroking her forehead as the call connects.
“Hello? Hello, I—I need an ambulance. Ava just collapsed. She’s pregnant. She was breathing fast and then she clutched her chest and now—now she’s unconscious and—and—”
The operator interrupts, asking where we are, and I curse myself for an idiot as I give the address. She promises me there’s someone on the way in the next moment, then asks me about her vital signs.
Her vital signs. Of course.
Why am I such an idiot? Why did I never take first aid? I’m going to need it, if we have a baby then—oh god, please let the baby be okay. Please don’t say this is the baby.
I try to stop the terror rolling through me as I feel for her pulse.
“She’s still breathing.” I say. “Her pulse…it’s so fast…it’s racing. What’s happening to her? Is she going to be okay?”
The woman on the other end of the phone can’t give me an answer to that, of course, but I want her to. I want her to so desperately. Instead, she promises me she’ll pass the information on and that the ambulance will be here in a few minutes.
A few minutes.
“Hang on, baby.” I say, stroking her cheek with one hand and my other laying on her stomach.