by Lara Swann
Something I can sympathize with all too well.
“Listen, Ava, I’ve been thinking about this.” He comes over to sit on the edge of my bed, something he’s been able to do the last couple of days that I’m infinitely grateful for. “I’m really sorry about what happened but…you’re great at what you do. They know it, even if they’re being assholes about it, and I know it too.”
“It’s okay, Damien, I don’t need the reassurance.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. I was just going to say…how about you come work for Indivest? We don’t have any in-house design specialists and while using an agency for a complete overhaul was great, it would be good for the company to have someone who could do the day-to-day things we might want to consider.”
I blink at him, suddenly confused. That’s not what I was expecting. Not at all.
“I…”
“You don’t have to work it out now - but I just wanted to suggest it, give you a chance to think about it.”
“I…okay.” I finally say. “Thank you. I don’t know, but…”
“That’s okay.” He smiles, leaning forward to kiss me. “I know all the reasons why you might not want to. I don’t mind—”
“It’s not that.” I frown, trying to work out my reaction myself. “It’s just…I don’t know what I think. About any of it. Right now, I don’t mind about Two-Bit. All I want is to get through the rest of this pregnancy without any more complications and deliver a healthy, baby boy. That’s what matters.”
He nods, his hand reaching down to stroke my stomach with a small smile.
“Yeah. That’s what matters.”
I take his hand. “I hope I can work - I hope I can get what I want there, eventually, but if it takes a while longer…that’s okay, you know? What I really want is this. My family.”
The smile that lights up his face makes something inside me glow and I pull him into me even if we’re not supposed to be doing that.
“My family.” He breathes.
“That’s what I want.” I repeat. “To be a family with you.”
He grins, kissing me deeply before responding.
“And for everyone to know you’re mine.”
Epilogue
Ava
“Breathe. Just breathe.”
Damien murmurs into my ear next to me, wiping the sweat from my forehead as I scream.
I am fucking breathing! What the hell does he think I’m doing?!
I want to yell at him, but I don’t have the breath or the energy for it as I push with all my strength, panting.
Though right now, not breathing is sounding very attractive. Then I might finally pass out and all this would be over.
“Push!” The midwife encourages me, standing at the other end of the bed.
“I love you, Ava.” Damien continues beside me. “You’re breaking my hand, but I love you anyway. And you’re going to be the best Mom in the world, and I think this is the best moment of my entire life and—”
I want to tell him to shut up. It is definitely not the best moment of my entire life, and even though I love him too, right now I kind of hate him as well.
He’s the bastard that did this to me.
“Uuuugghhhh!”
I push again, the wave of pain sweeping through me with the contraction, and I try to tell myself this was what I wanted. Only a few hours ago, this was what I wanted more than anything.
Stupid crazy woman.
How the hell did they ever think a baby would fit inside me? And then come out? This was some stupid idea of someone’s somewhere and right now, I’m cursing that someone too and—
“Ahhhh!” I scream as the next one hits me, almost right on top of the first, clenching Damien’s hand hard and pushing like my life depends on it. Right now, I think it probably does.
“I can see the head!” The midwife says excitedly. “You’re almost there. You’re doing so well.”
I can barely hear her - though the way Damien tugs at my hand, I can tell he’s torn between going to see the baby’s head and staying here with me. The damn guy better stay with me.
“If—you—” I try to say, but then suddenly I’m pushing again and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life and I’m never doing it again and—
It’s over.
It’s like a dam breaks inside me, everything tumbling out and the crazy pain and difficulty easing back to a dull throbbing.
Then the best sound in the world fills my ears and I hear him.
My baby.
I’m crying. I’m not sure when that happened or why - probably from the pain - but right now, it’s from pure emotion as I reach for the crying little baby. My whole body feels weak and slightly destroyed, but I need this.
“My baby.”
“Ava, he’s…he’s perfect.” Damien says, his voice filled with the kind of joy I don’t think I’ve ever heard.
I want it too. I want my baby.
It seems like it takes an eternity for them to get him from one end of me to the other - but then he’s there, wrapped in cloth with his face screwed up as he looks up at me, little arms and legs waving.
My heart breaks. And then reforms. And then breaks all over again, until I know he’s changed it completely.
As much as I thought I loved him - as much as I thought he was everything to me - while he was growing inside me…that was nothing. Not compared to what I feel right now.
I touch him, half in awe and the slight fear that I might break him somehow, and Damien comes to stand beside me, one hand on my shoulder and the other one on the bundle in my arms.
“Damien…” I breathe, totally forgetting that I hated him a second ago. “Damien…”
We made this. We created him.
I can’t believe it.
“I love you, Ava.” Damien says, crouching down beside us both. “I love you and I love our son - more than life itself.”
I smile over at him, tears at the edges of my eyes as I lean down to kiss our little boy’s head, rocking him gently in my arms.
“Hello, little Matthew. Hello, little baby. Look…look where we are. I’m your Mommy, did you know that? And this…this is your Daddy.” I twist a little, so that Matthew can see his Daddy, and one of his little fists hits me in the cheek.
I laugh, wanting to hug him tighter, squeeze him to me and never let go, but I’m still too scared I might break him.
“Do you want to hold him?” I ask softly, and Damien nods. I think he’s too choked up to say anything.
I carefully pass Matthew over and then get to watch as Damien really experiences his little boy for the first time.
“Matthew…” He murmurs, his voice so warm and tender I think my heart will burst.
We spent a little while discussing names, but it was always obvious to me what it was going to be.
Matthew.
Just like his grandfather. Damien’s father.
I’m still sorry he’ll never get to meet his grandparents on his father’s side, but I already know we’re going to do everything we can to tell him all about them.
It takes me a moment to notice that everyone else in the room has disappeared, and it’s just us now. The three of us.
I reach out and grab one of Damien’s hands, squeezing tightly, and he sits down beside me, laughing with a pure delight in a way I’ve never heard before.
“Look! Look, he’s so tiny. Look at his little hands. His fingers.”
I grin, nuzzling into Damien and resting a hand on the cloth Matthew is wrapped in.
“We did it, Damien. Look. We’re a family now.”
He smiles at me, and that’s exactly what I can see shining from his eyes.
* * *
I look around at everyone fussing over my new baby boy and smile softly.
I think my cheeks are ready to fall off from smiling, but I still can’t help myself.
I’m a little exhausted and it’s a little bit loud - but I have everyone I love around me and
things couldn’t be any more perfect.
“It’s wonderful, isn’t it?” Damien murmurs from behind me, where I’m leaning against him on the hospital bed.
I nod. “All these people…all here because of him.”
I look at Vicki and Emily laughing and giggling over Matthew to one side of the room, and my parents talking to Katy on the other. We brought all these people together - Matthew did too - and it’s an amazing feeling to have.
Damien takes my hand in his, resting it between us, and I look down to the glittering ring there, sighing with a kind of contentment I never knew was possible.
He proposed a few months earlier, on a short trip to Canada that he insists is just the start of all the traveling we’re going to after my pregnancy - at the very top of a mountain.
Okay, if I’m honest, it was a very big hill - but by the time we’d walked halfway up, it felt like a mountain. Enough that I was so close to using the pregnancy excuse to abandon the very idea.
I’m glad I didn’t.
The view was worth it.
And the sight of Damien on one knee…that was even better.
We haven’t started talking about the wedding yet - with Matthew on the way, there’s been far more to think about - but he promised we’d have it sorted within the year.
Yeah, that’s right, somehow he thinks we’re going to go traveling and have a wedding the same year that we start looking after a newborn baby.
No one ever claimed he’s not ambitious.
But the crazy thing is - I’ve started believing him.
Somehow, with Damien around, it seems impossible not to believe that we can do anything we set our minds to.
I mean, after all, hasn’t he proved that so far?
THE END
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About the Author
Lara Swann writes hot, sexy romance with a touch of humor and a lot of passion. She has a thing for wounded alpha heroes and the fiery women who steal their hearts.
Her relationships are funny, sexy and spicy, and she gets as many thrills in pitting her characters against each other as she does when they eventually come together in an explosion of heat.
When she isn’t living in one of her many fantasy worlds, she attempts to focus on her respectable day job in a large, too-expensive city and dreams of a lake house in the country.