by Sara Daniell
I looked down at the ground instead of meeting his eyes. “I’m learning to throw with my left hand.”
I couldn’t tell him how addicted I got to muscle relaxers last year. It was the reason my dad didn’t have me on them right now. The doctor switched to steroid shots to manage the pain so I could get off the muscle relaxers.
I looked at him. “I’ll try to be careful. I promise.”
“I don’t want you ruining your shot like I did.” He looked at me seriously. “You can make it, if that’s what you really want. I can start working on strengthening exercises with you that I learned from therapy. If you want me to.”
I nodded and touched his bruised wrist gently. “I should head back home.”
He kissed my cheek. “Do you have to?” He pouted.
I grinned mischievously and crawled into his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist. “You could make it hard for me to leave.”
He moved his hands to my ass and pulled me tightly to him before kissing me. His lips moved to the spot on my neck that drove me crazy. I laughed and moved my hands until they found the bottom of his shirt. I lifted it over his head and kissed his neck and moved down his bare chest. We both laughed when the owl hooted, but it didn’t stop us.
Dad made me spend my entire suspension week hitting the batting cages and gym and running, on top of afternoon practices at Coach’s house. I was so exhausted by the time the weekend got there. Thankfully, Coach Elliot had called off the team-building thing at his house this weekend because Millie had gotten sick with a bad cold.
I woke up, thankful it was Saturday and I had nothing to do, or so I thought. Dad walked into my room with a determined look on his face. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
“Get up. We’re heading to the field.”
“Dad, I need today to let my arm rest. Please.”
He showed me the syringe in his hand. “I got your doctor from Florida to call you in a month’s supply.” He walked over and sat down on the bed next to me. He raised my sleeve on my right arm and injected the steroid into my shoulder muscle.
I massaged it and moved my arm around. There was no arguing with him. “Can I at least pee first?”
“Meet me downstairs in ten minutes.”
I nodded and got out of bed.
“HOW MANY LAPS, Dad?” I just wanted to get it over with.
“Until I say stop.”
I nodded and started running.
“Hales, bring it in!” I heard Coach Elliot yell out after I had already run three miles.
I ran over to him. I was fighting back tears. Dad came over too.
“With all due respect, Coach, my daughter is on my time now.”
I looked down at my shoes. Not another argument.
“Yeah, but you’re on my field. And she’s my player. I will tell you what I tell all my parents: You mess up my workout routine and what I do with my players, your kid is off the team. I have it set, what I do with my players. I get results, and I get scouts here.”
“She was suspended for letting some stupid teens talk to her like crap. She needs this. She’s learning to channel that into the game.”
I was going to lose my mind. This was ridiculous, and I was exhausted and in so much pain. I listened to Dad and Coach go back and forth for several minutes until I finally realized Dane was right. My dad was abusive, just in a different way than his.
“Let’s go home, Hales.” I knew that tone. He wasn’t done with me. I’d be running the neighborhood and throwing fastballs until dark.
“I quit,” I said numbly.
Dad laughed coldly. “What?”
“I said I fucking quit!” I yelled.
I yanked off my shirt so he could see my swollen shoulder. I kicked off my shoes so he could see the blisters that were now bleeding again. “I’m done!”
“Hailey, put your shirt back on!”
“I’m eighteen! I can do whatever the hell I want, and I quit! I am so sick of being in pain and you pushing me! You never once stop to make sure I’m okay! All you think about is my ability and not about me!” I picked up my shirt and shoes and started walking. Tears poured down my cheeks. I had officially lost it. I ran into the girl’s locker room and locked the door. I could hear Dad pitching a huge fit so I turned on every shower in the place to drown out his yelling. I sat down, leaned back against my locker, and closed my eyes.
I quit.
I was officially done with baseball.
I DIDN’T GO home last night. Instead I went over to Sadie’s. I didn’t want anyone giving me that ‘I feel sorry for you’ look. I especially didn’t want Zach and Dane telling me they told me so. I turned off my phone and ignored everyone.
I watched her get ready for church. “Thanks again for letting me stay.”
She smiled. “Of course.”
“Your parents probably think I’m crazy.”
She shrugged and sat on the edge of her bed to put on her heels. “It doesn’t matter what they think. Besides, they are too involved with their own marital problems to focus on anything else. It’s just a matter of time before they split.”
“I’m sorry, Sadie.”
She shrugged and walked over to her dresser and picked up a necklace. She moved her hair aside to put it on. “Don’t be sorry. It’s life and their problem, not mine.”
“I should go.”
I sat up and reached for my phone that was on her nightstand. I was scared to turn it on. I hit the power button and waited to see all the messages and missed calls. A ton of messages and missed phone calls came up with Zach’s name on them.
Time to face the music.
I got out of bed and gathered up my things. I dialed Zach’s number.
“Are you okay?” Zach answered in a panic. “I’ve been up all night looking for you!”
“I’m fine. I’m at Sadie’s. I just needed space and to not have anyone talking me out of my decision to quit baseball or saying I told you so.”
There was nothing but silence for several seconds.
“So you’re fine?” he asked.
“Yes. Where are you?”
“I guess now that I know you’re ‘fine’, I’m going to work. I’ll talk to you later.” He hung up the phone.
My heart felt like it sunk into my stomach as I stared at my phone. I hated Zach being mad at me.
“Who was that?” Sadie asked.
I didn’t answer her. I headed out to my car and drove straight to Quinn’s. It wasn’t open, but I knew Zach would probably be there. I saw his truck and went in the back door. I stopped when I heard a female’s voice. I walked slowly down the hall until I could see into his office. I saw a beautiful girl around his age sitting on his desk talking to him. She had the most amazing legs, and I instantly hated her for it.
“Jenny, go call Tony and stay the hell off my desk and out of my office.” Zach said without even sparing her a glance.
Jenny, aka Miss Legs, gave him a little laugh before walking off. I hid behind some shelves so she wouldn’t see me. I watched her walk into a neighboring office, and then I hurried into Zach’s, closing the door behind me.
“Jenny, I’m not in a—” he stopped speaking when he turned and saw me standing there. “I thought Jenny was coming back into my office.”
The weight of everything hit me hard. I sat down in the chair across from his desk and started bawling into my hands. I heard his chair push out.
“Please, don’t cry, Hales.” I felt his hand on my knee, while his other hand rubbed my back gently.
“Don’t be nice to me. I avoided you, and you’re the one I should have ran to! I didn’t think, Zach! I just got so pissed off and only thought about myself and not about how avoiding everyone would affect them.” I looked at him. “Look at you! You look exhausted! Did you get any sleep last night?”
He stood and leaned against his desk in front of me. “No. I-I was worried that you left.” He looked down at his shoes. “I borrowed Brink’s plane and flew to Gulfport.”
“Brink has a plane?”
He nodded. “It’s how they get back and forth to New York so much.”
“I’m so sorry, Zach.” I looked at him. “Does that mean Brink and everyone know about us now?”
“No. I said I needed to make a run to see if I wanted to open a new Quinn’s.” He shrugged. “I shouldn’t have panicked. I just—” He stopped talking. “Anyway, Brink was too busy working on a new case to ask any questions.”
“Oh.” I picked at the hole in the knee of my jeans. “So, are we okay?”
He grabbed my chin gently and made me look at him. “Promise me you won’t do that again, please.”
“I promise.”
He let out a relieved sigh and put his forehead to mine. “Thank you.”
Tears filled my eyes. “I quit the team.”
“Baby, do you want to quit?”
I moved my sleeve back so he could see the small bruise where Dad gave me a steroid shot. “I can’t live like this for a stupid game. You’re right; I’ll ruin my career. It’s just not worth it. I want a good relationship with my dad, and during baseball it’s pure hell. It’s just too much for me to handle.”
He touched my shoulder gently. His whole body tensed. “I’m going to kill him.”
“No, you’re not. It’s just a steroid.”
He put his head against my good shoulder as he calmed down. “Baseball doesn’t have to be like that,” he finally said. He kissed my neck before picking his head up. “It’s up to you though. I will support you no matter what you do.”
“I’m not going home. Not right now anyway. I’m so angry with my dad, and it will only end up with us yelling at each other. You and Dane were right. How my dad treats me during baseball season is abuse. And my mom just lets it all happen. How was I so blind to all of it? I just went along with it like it was normal.”
“To you, it was normal. What changed in you?” he asked. “And you don’t have to go home. You can come stay with us. You can have the guest room.”
“I guess what changed was actually having people around who gave a shit about my well-being and not just about how well I play the game. I’ve never felt valued for just being me. I’ve always been Hailey Naomi Grayson, the girl who was too good to play softball, the girl who would go pro in a league where girls aren’t allowed. My parents are proud, but it has pushed them to insanity.” I looked at Zach. “Hearing Coach and my dad yell at each other and listening to what they said, it made me realize all of this. It made me realize I’m done.”
He kissed the top of my head.
“You have a group of people that really care for you here. I know it’s not home, but... it could be.”
“I know.” I smiled a little. “Go home and get some sleep. I’m gonna run home and grab my things. You sure it’s okay for me to stay? Won’t it be weird, you bringing me there?”
“Nah, I’ll figure something out. Or... We could tell Elliot the truth.” He kissed my nose.
“Good idea.” I kissed him and stood
He yawned then stood up himself. He ran a hand through his very messy hair. “I’d love to get some sleep, but I need to go to work. It’s Jenny’s first day. Once I know she isn’t going to burn the damn place down, I will be at the house.”
I growled a little. “I don’t think I like her. Is that the new manager?”
He nodded. “I don’t like her either, but I need a manager. She was the least annoying out of the applicants; plus, she actually had good references and a business degree.” He shrugged. “It’s more than I have.” He put his hands in his pockets.
“Don’t let her touch you, or she will die.” I kissed him and grabbed my keys. “I’ll see you later.”
He smiled that crooked smile. “Are you jealous?” he asked, following me outside.
“Possibly.” I said not making eye contact with him.
He smiled and kissed me. “I’ll see you at home.”
I went home when I knew my parents wouldn’t be there to grab clothes and a few of my other things. I texted Mom and told her I was safe and staying at Coach Elliot’s. I refused to talk to Dad, and, thankfully, Mom semi-understood and didn’t argue. The fact was, I was eighteen. There wasn’t really anything they could say or do at this point.
Dane told Coach and sent out a group text to Zach, Brink, and Quinn to let them know I’d be staying there. I was only at the house for an hour and already felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. It was amazing reading the texts as they came in, saying how they were happy to have me there.
I had just finished getting ready, looking human again, and went down to the kitchen. Quinn was there, slamming drawers open and shut.
She smiled when she saw me. “Hey!”
We both jumped when we heard the front door open and close. Neither of us had heard a vehicle drive up. Zach walked in looking dead on his feet. He held up some bags.
“I brought lunch.”
“What the...” Quinn grabbed the bags from him. “Brink told me you made a quick business trip last night. Go get some rest!”
“Hey, Hailey.” He yawned and then plopped down on the couch.
Quinn started looking through the kitchen again. “Zach, have you seen my cell? I lost it.”
“Brink’s going to kill you. That’s the fifth one you’ve lost,” he teased. “And no, I haven’t.”
Quinn rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well, have you seen it?”
I laughed and pointed next to the toaster. The glittery case was hard to miss. “Is that it?”
She squealed. “Yes! I’m gonna love having you around!”
Zach chuckled, and Quinn ran up to her room. Zach had his arm draped over his eyes. I walked over to him. He took his arm off his eyes and smiled sleepily at me. I sat next to him and kissed his forehead. He took my hand in his and kissed the back of it.
“How long do you think she’ll be up there?” I asked quietly.
“I don’t know, why?”
I leaned down and kissed his lips. I heard something drop from behind us. I sat up quickly and saw Quinn standing there, her purse in the floor. Her mouth was open wide, and her head was inclined slightly to the side as she stared at us in confusion. She tried to talk, but nothing but gibberish would come out as she looked at Zach and me.
“Zachary James Shaw!” She finally got out.
I stood, probably looking a lot like a kid who just got caught stealing from the candy bowl. Zach stood up.
“How about we have this conversation in the study.” He pointed to a door down the hall.
She stomped toward the study. I looked at Zach worriedly.
“Don’t worry about it.” He kissed my forehead. “Why don’t you go hang out in my room? Watch a movie or something.”
“I feel like I should be in there with you.”
“It’s up to you. I don’t mind talking to her first. It may be better if she gets everything out of her system to me. She tends to fly off the handle then calm down and think things through.”
I didn’t like him doing this alone, but he knew Quinn. I didn’t. I nodded and went up to his room with some food. I dug around, trying to find his DVDs. This was the first time I had ever been in his room, and it was difficult not to snoop. Plus, I needed something to do to keep my mind off all the yelling downstairs.
I opened the door on the entertainment center and found the DVDs. There were a few pictures stashed beside The Avengers. I sat down and looked at them. They were pictures of Zach, Quinn, Elliot, Brink, and Sam. Sam was clearly pregnant, and they all looked so happy. I flipped the picture over and read the words on the back.
I jumped a little when the door opened and Zach came in. He saw me with the pictures, but he didn’t look angry. I put them all back together, set them in the cabinet, and pulled out a movie.
He walked over and took the pictures out of the cabinet. “I shouldn’t have put those in there.”
“Are you mad?” I stood.
“No. Why w
ould I be mad?”
“I don’t know. Just making sure. So are we in trouble?”
“That’s complicated. I’ve talked her into not telling anyone until I tell Elliot myself.”
“We shouldn’t have kept this a secret. This is my fault.”
“It’s not your fault. You were worried about your parents. I’ll tell Elliot tonight.” He yawned and plopped down on the bed.
“You should get some sleep.”
“I will.”
I kissed him. “I’m gonna go talk to Quinn. I don’t know her that well, and I feel like she’s going to hate me now.”
“If she hates anyone right now, it’s me.”
“Well since I’m gonna be staying here, I really should go talk to her so things can be less awkward.” I kissed him and went downstairs. Quinn was working on her laptop.
She smiled at me a little. “I don’t hate you.”
“Umm, I don’t—”
“Yes, you do. You look like you’re scared to death.”
I laughed nervously. “Well...”
“I don’t approve because Zach is... Well Zach. And you’re so young. Granted, Sam and I both found our soulmates in high school, and Brink was older than me, but still. It’s Zach.” She closed her laptop. “Are you in love with him?”
My forehead creased. “I don’t know. I really care for him. I’m so messed up right now. I’m fresh out of a total mental breakdown. Can you ask me that later?”
She laughed. “Sure. Let’s talk about something else because now that you’re a part of this family, I should get to know you better.” She patted the spot next to her. I sat on the stool.
“Ask me anything,” she said, giving me her full attention.
I was slightly weirded out. This conversation just took a huge turn, going from do you love Zach to a game of twenty-one questions. It was weird, but I went with it.