by Sara Daniell
“No, you’re not.” I felt the bed shift, and Dane pulled my arm from my face. “I need to tell you some things, and I need you to listen without interrupting me.” He kept his eyes on mine.
“Okay.”
“Zach was an alcoholic after he had to leave the pros. He came here and did nothing but party. When his parents were killed, he brought Elliot here to live with him. He still partied but not near as much. When Sam came into the picture, and she got pregnant, he started getting better. She made him feel like he was worth something. He had always been a handful. It was Elliot that was the good kid. Anyway, when she died he quit college and helped keep Elliot from completely going over the edge. He changed for Elliot and Millie, but small towns still talk. Women walk up to him and tell him what they want him to do to them. Almost every day his past is thrown back in his face. He became more and more of an asshole to protect himself. That’s his defense. Be an asshole, and people leave you alone. But as you know, he can be sweet and caring. He could handle the town thinking badly of him, but when Elliot went off on him and pretty much told him that he wasn’t going anywhere fast and taking you with him, he withdrew. He did the only thing he could think of to keep you from ruining your life: he broke up with you. It was one of the least selfish things I’ve ever seen him do. He gave up the most important thing in the world to him because he thought you deserved better. Elliot has apologized and tried to take back what he said, but it stuck. He wants to be friends with you, but I think he’s scared.”
“Did he tell you this?”
“I might have eavesdropped on a conversation with him and Elliot.”
“Oh.”
“Be patient with him. He’ll come around and be the friend you want, with time.”
I nodded and looked back up at the ceiling. “I should head home.”
He moved his head so I had to look at him. “Not until you smile.”
“Make me.”
He smiled mischievously then tickled me. I hated being tickled. I laughed and brought out my best ninja moves, moving until I had him pinned to the bed. I tried to tickle him, but he grabbed my hands. I tried to bite his nose, but he turned his head. I couldn’t stop laughing.
“Did you just try to bite my nose?” he asked through laughter.
I nodded and laughed harder.
Dane smiled. “I like making you laugh.”
I kissed him. “Can I go home now?”
“If you must.”
I moved off him. “My dad would murder us both if I didn’t go back home, and I can’t use Sadie as an excuse anymore.” I grabbed my purse off his dresser.
“I’ll walk you out.”
We got to my car, and I smiled at him. “You’re the best. You know that, right?”
He grinned. “I try to be.”
“And I’m sorry about tonight.”
He tilted his head to the side in confusion. “You didn’t do anything to be sorry for, Hales.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I did. Earlier at the lake, I stopped in the middle of a pretty great moment, and I feel terrible. I know we agreed to take things slow, but I still feel awful for that. And then you heard me fighting with Zach. I promise we’ll go on a date where I don’t fuck shit up.”
He gently grabbed my chin and kissed my lips softly. “It’s okay, Hales.”
“It’s not, but I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“Sounds good. Now get your hot butt home before you can’t go on another date because you’re late.”
I laughed. “Yes, sir.” I kissed him and got in the car and left.
I held Dane’s phone while he ran laps with Trevor at the track. I ran with them for a little bit, but I wasn’t feeling 100% so I came to sit in the bleachers and rest. His phone dinged, and I looked down at it. I saw Sadie’s name on the screen and tried to push aside the temptation to read it. I failed.
Sadie: Thanks so much for staying up and talking to me last night. It meant the world to me. I miss all of you so much. I’m sorry for getting pissed when you told me about you and Hales. I guess part of me always wished we could’ve worked out, but I’m happy for you both. She’s lucky, Dane. Dammit, I miss you. Call me later. K? ;)
I felt an ache in my heart. I didn’t like it. I looked at Dane as he and Trevor laughed about something while they ran. I looked down at his phone and frowned. I couldn’t get mad over the fact he stayed up talking to her all night. They had a past, and they were good friends. But I was jealous, and I felt so stupid. Plus, I hadn’t heard from Sadie since she left. I texted her a few times with no reply, but she was texting and calling my boyfriend?
I had to run to blow off steam. I put his phone in my backpack and made my way to the track. I stretched a little, put my earbuds in, played some music, and started running. I had just hit a steady stride when my phone dinged. I slowed my pace to look down at it.
Zach Assistant Coach: I’m sorry for everything, Hales.
I put the phone in my pocket and picked my pace back up. He apologizes through a text? I mean, any apology from him is huge because that shit is hard for him. But a text? I looked to my right and saw Dane running beside me. I rolled my eyes and tried to pick up my pace to get away from him, but he kept up with me. He put in a little extra speed to get ahead of me. Then he stopped in front of me.
“What’s wrong?”
I bent over and put my hands on my knees as I caught my breath. I took my earbuds out and stopped my music. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and looked at Trevor as he stopped by us.
“Nothing.” I lied.
“Hales, I know you well enough to know when something is wrong.”
I looked away from him, and it took me a second to steady my breathing. I looked at him. “You stayed up all night talking to Sadie?”
“Yes.”
Trevor looked at both of us. “I’m going to go run some more.” He started running again.
“Were you going to tell me?”
“I don’t know.” He scrunched his eyebrows. “I hadn’t really thought about it.”
“You don’t know?” I cut my eyes at him.
“Hales, why are you getting angry at me? I spent most of the time talking about you, and she talked about how much she missed home and missed Trevor.”
“What if I told you she sent you a text just now saying that she wished you two could have worked out? And she said she got upset when she found out we were together?”
“She did get upset, but it was probably just because you’re the first person that I have really dated since her. Gwen didn’t count.” He looked like he was so confused and lost. “I don’t know what you want me to say with that first part, Hales.” He ran a hand through his hair. “She’s my friend. I want to be there for her right now. She’s having a rough time adjusting in New York.”
“And I want you to be there for her.” I looked my feet and then looked at him. “Sorry. I guess I’m jealous. I mean, it’s a good sign that I’m jealous, right?” I laughed a little.
He shook his head and chuckled a little. “You’re a hot mess.”
“Damn, that was embarrassing.” I laughed again and ran my hands down my face. “Okay, so can we pretend like I didn’t just act like a jealous girlfriend?”
He laughed. “Let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving.” He looked at Trevor. “Do you mind if Trevor comes with us? He’s lonely.”
“I don’t mind.” I looked at my phone and handed it to Dane after I got the text from Zach pulled up. “Look who said sorry.”
Dane read the text. He didn’t look too surprised. “Good.”
“After we eat, can you bring me by the cabin? I have some of my things there that I need.”
Dane nodded. “No problem. You still have the key? I left mine at home.”
“Yeah, it’s on my keychain. I’ll leave it at the cabin when we leave. Should I text Zach to let him know we’re going by there?”
He shook his head. “He doesn’t mind, and he won’t be there. He’s
out of town today.”
“Alright.”
I HAD JUST finished gathering up my things and was about to zip up my backpack when I caught a glimpse of a piece of notebook paper on the coffee table that had my name on it. Dane was waiting for me in his truck. He said he felt like this was something I needed to do alone.
I grabbed the paper and sat down on the couch. It was a list.
I covered my mouth with my free hand as sobs escaped me. I set the list down on the coffee table, exactly where it was. I covered my face with both hands as I cried. I had been in denial. I loved Dane, but it wasn’t the same as how I felt for Zach. I craved Zach. I needed him. There were so many raw emotions with Zach where Dane and I were just...Well, we just fit, nothing more. Dane and I could make it. We could get married, raise a family, and be perfectly happy together. I had no doubt about that. But we’d always be missing that spark.
Once my sobs calmed down, I found a pen and added a number seven to the list. I wrote:
I grabbed my bag and stood. I walked out of the cabin and looked at Dane with tears falling down my face. He got out of the truck, and I looked at my feet.
He cupped my face and wiped my tears. “You found the list, didn’t you?” He looked at me with understanding. “I found it last night when I came over to help him choose a new layout for the cabin. He wouldn’t tell me why he wanted to rebuild it, but I found the list when he went to the kitchen.” He kissed my forehead. “He loves you, Hales.”
I put my face against his chest and cried into his shirt. “We have to break up, Dane. What were we thinking?”
“That we were both lonely, and we do love each other. It’s just not the right kind of love.” He held onto me and put his chin on top of my head. “You will always be my best friend, Hales.” He rubbed my back gently. “But I will never be able to love you like he does.”
“He really loves me?” I looked up at him.
“Yeah, he does. He hasn’t said the words, but I can see it.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“No, I’m not mad. A little upset because I’m afraid of things being awkward with us and losing my best friend. But I’m not mad.”
I laughed. “We’ll work through the awkward phase and be closer than we ever were. I promise.”
“Good.” He pulled back some. “Do you want to know where he is right now?”
“Yes. But I left him another thing to do on his list so I’m going to wait for him to come to me on his time.”
“Good idea.” He smiled. “He’s in Gulfport.” His smile grew.
I raised a brow. “Really? Why?”
“Well from what Elliot told me this morning, he is buying a beach property there and a building to open a Quinn’s.”
I closed my eyes and smiled. I put my head against Dane’s chest again. “Dane?”
“Hmmm?”
“You saw my boobs.” I burst into laughter.
He started laughing. He moved back from me. “And they were nice boobs,” he said and laughed.
I shoved his shoulder. “Zach never finds out about that night. Ever.”
“Agreed,” he said as he started calming down from all the laughing.
“Too bad I never got to see your junk,” I teased. He shoved my shoulder that time. I laughed some more. “Let’s go.”
He opened the door for me. “Am I taking you home, or are you going to come hang out with me?”
“Hang out with you if that’s okay. That’s what we planned on doing anyway.”
“It’s fine with me.” He got in the truck after I got in and started it up. “How about a Star Wars marathon?” he asked with a grin.
I raised a brow. “You know I hate Star Wars but anything for you.” I laughed. “I am gonna miss kissing you. You’re a great kisser, Dane. We can call what we did ‘extra practice’.” I laughed again.
He laughed. “Sounds good to me. And we can watch whatever you want. It’s your turn to pick anyway.”
“Star Wars is fine. I need to work on the English paper that’s due anyway. I’ll just work on your laptop while you watch. I just want to hang out with you; it doesn’t matter what we do.” I smiled.
“Good. And I have a box of something under my bed that you love to eat while working on school work.”
“You’re amazing.” I moved to the middle and laid my head on his shoulder. “The best friend ever.”
He chuckled. “I try. I’m about to be the third wheel though. You’ll have to spoil me soon.” He winked at me when I sat up and looked at him.
“Of course. And do you think I’m going to have to convince Zach to still let us be friends? That’s if he even wants to go back into whatever we were before he ended things.”
“He does want to be with you, and he’ll let us be friends. He just may be a little protective of you for a while.”
I looked at the road as he drove. “I’ll talk to him.” I looked at Dane. “When do you think he’ll see the to-do list? Maybe I should text him?”
“He’ll be home tomorrow. And text him if you want, but you may want to let him see the note before you talk to him. Right now he’s so focused on being like Elliot, I don’t think you texting him would help. But seeing your note might.”
I nodded. “Speaking of Coach, how is he?”
“About the same.”
I sighed and looked out the window. I turned up the radio and got lost in thought about fixing things with Zach.
It was the third night I had waited at the Owl Tree. I waited an hour each night. It was 11:45 pm when I heard leaves crunch. My heart started racing. I stood up from the swing and waited. Zach. I watched as he came through the bushes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He gave me a little smile, and I saw tears in his eyes.
“You’re here,” he said quietly.
“Of course I am,” I said, but it sounded strained because I was on the verge of crying. I was so happy to see him. “And you’re here.” My lips broke into a smile.
He nodded. “I saw your note. I just got back.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked at me.
“I saw your note too. Obviously.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek.
He chuckled nervously. “I don’t know what to say or do right now.”
He was so adorably nervous.
“Well not acting like an asshole is a really good start.”
I took a few steps forward. He was still too far away, but I wasn’t going to get any closer just yet.
“Getting off the booze again is helping that. I’m trying to be a better guy. Like Elliot.” He looked down at his shoes when he said that.
“I don’t want you to be like him.”
“But he’s a better guy than I am, Hales. He’s the type of guy you deserve.”
I shook my head. “No, Zach. I deserve a guy like you. I like you just the way you are. Your imperfections make you real, and I don’t want you to be anyone but Zachary Shaw. Make better choices, but don’t change a damn thing.”
His eyes focused on mine. “Really?”
I laughed, and tears spilled over my eyelids and down my cheeks. “Yes.” I wiped my cheeks and smiled. “These are happy tears by the way. I’m just so happy you’re standing here with me right now.”
He moved a little closer to me. “I didn’t mean what I said.” He swallowed hard. “The night of Dane’s party. I counted what we did as dating, and I loved every moment of it.”
I took another step forward. “I didn’t mean what I said either. When I told you to live a lonely life. I was just pissed that you were acting like an asshole.”
“Yeah. Alcohol and I don’t go well together.”
“Zach?”
“Yeah?” he asked as he took another step closer to me.
“Are you as sick of this short distance between us as I am right now?”
He grinned, showing me his dimple, and then he moved so that he was right in front of me. “Yes, I am.” He brushed a piece of hair out of my face. He went to touch
my cheek, but he stopped. “What about Dane, Hales?”
“What about him?”
“Aren’t you two a thing?”
“Best friends, and that’s it. We broke things off three days ago when I went to your cabin to get my things.”
He nodded and touched my cheek gently. “I missed you, Hales.”
“Then do what I added to your to-do list. Get me back.” I closed my eyes to his touch. I missed his skin so much.
“I don’t know how to do that. What do I have to do?”
“Well, what do you want to do right now?” I opened my eyes and looked at him.
“I want to kiss you right now, but I don’t know if you want that yet or not. I’m kind of questioning everything I’m doing right now.”
“Zach?” I laughed.
“Yeah?”
“Be the assertive, take-charge Zach you normally are. Don’t question a damn thing with me. Just go for it.”
He did just that. He cupped one of my cheeks in his hand and kissed me. There was still too much distance between us so I grabbed his shirt and pulled his body against mine. My arms wrapped around him, and my hands slid into his back pockets. I laughed when he smiled against my mouth.
His hands held me close to him. “I don’t ever want to let you go.”
“Then don’t.” I moved my hands up his back until they rested on the back of his neck. I kissed his jaw and neck. “Can we go somewhere?”
“The cabin?” he asked as his fingers moved across the skin right under my shirt.
“If we can make it that far,” I laughed.
He laughed then grabbed my hand and led me to the front of the house to his truck. He helped me in and then started up the truck to head toward the cabin. I crawled over to him. I couldn’t keep my hands or lips to myself. My hands went under his shirt, and I continued to kiss his neck as he drove.
He pulled down a dirt road and parked. “I can’t wait until the cabin.”
I straddled his lap and lifted his shirt over his head. I threw it in the back seat and cupped his face in my hands as I brought my lips to his. His hands were on my ass, holding me tightly to him. I gently bit his bottom lip, knowing it’d drive him crazy. He growled a little then moved back to pull my shirt off. He kissed my bare shoulder, biting down a little then soothed it with his lips.