Wargasm

by Sosie Frost

  I was used to being lonely on the weekends. But not naked.

  Oh, Lord. What did I do?

  I must have seduced him. Had my way with him. Just my luck that I couldn’t remember it. What should have been one of the most magical nights of my life was now a hazy blur of sex, red wine, and grilled cheese sandwiches.

  No wonder my dog looked at me with such disgust.

  “Don’t you judge me,” I said. “I remember when you had a thing for Mrs. Miller’s poodle. We all make mistakes when we’re young.”

  At least I hadn’t needed to face mine this morning.

  Marius must have left sometime after the sex.

  That bastard.

  Sure, I might have been a one-night stand, but I deserved a good morning, if only for the opportunity to tell him how terrible my behavior was, how unbelievably inappropriately I must’ve acted, and how I never, ever brought men to my home like that.

  And instead, Marius had left. Without a word. Without even a note scribbled on my countertop.

  Well, if I had no recollection of last night, I could still hold on to my dignity until the memories came back. I’d made a mistake, and I was going to confront it.

  Which meant confronting him.

  How could I have been so stupid? Flirting with him? Letting him kiss me? I’d left the farm in a frenzy of lust, and then I’d consumed my weight in alcohol. No wonder I’d booty called him.

  This was going to be humiliating.

  I grabbed my purse and my dog and marched out of the house.

  Butterpond wasn’t a large community. My family’s fifty acres abutted the Payne farm. My father hadn’t planted crops. Most of the property was reserved for his veterinary clinic. Dad had hoped I would follow in his footsteps, but I couldn’t handle the family business. Could hardly spend more than twenty minutes indoors at a time, let alone six years in veterinary school.

  No wonder he wanted to retire. Closing the clinic and moving to the Bahamas had made sense. I just never expected him to take his intern with him.

  I knew it was a bad idea to move out of our house. I’d built the cottage on our land, skirting Butterpond’s more stringent zoning laws by keeping the square footage to barely larger than a shed. But it was all I needed. Enough space to give him privacy and independence after mom died, but close enough that I could still check in on him.

  I hadn’t done too good of a job. I’d moved out. Chloe had moved in. And now my new stepmother was the woman who’d spent her last summer as a babysitter for the Hoffman triplets.

  Fantastic.

  My walk of shame delivered me to the Payne farm after only a mile’s worth of disgrace and indignation. Most girls dragged their asses home. I took my booty straight to his door, knocked hard, and crossed my arms.

  The least he could have done was stay the night and gloat about it in the morning.

  This crush was becoming a pain in my ass.

  The door opened. One of his brothers, Tidus, gave me a sly grin and leaned against the doorframe, tattoos peeking from under the tight white shirt clinging to his muscles. A rough, untamed scruff on his chin framed a lopsided smile. His hair was long, tickling passed his ears. The quintessential bad boy. Had quite the reputation in town, and yet I knew the truth. Tidus was a teddy bear.

  “Oh, Gretchen.” He whistled. “Please be looking for me.”

  A woman’s voice rose behind him, shooing him away from the door. “Down, boy. She’s not here for you.”

  Micah—friend, confidant, and absolutely the last person I wanted to tell about my indiscretion—sauntered to the door. Her soft sundress highlighted a suddenly apparent baby bump. A little souvenir from this summer’s county fair. She offered me a hug, but this wasn’t a friendly visit.

  “Don’t tell me Chloe sent you back for more pictures of the farm?” Micah arched an eyebrow. “I don’t think we can make the fields hypoallergenic like she wanted.”

  Right now, the allergies were the least of our concerns. It was the vegan menu that scared me more.

  “Is Marius here?” I asked.

  Micah giggled. “Yeah. He’s storming around the den. Got his prosthetic stuck in a floorboard this morning, and now we're dealing with the fallout. Why?”

  She’d find out sooner or later. “We had sex.”

  Micah hadn’t expected that confession. Neither had I. No sense denying it. Pretty sure the entire house would hear this fight.

  She struggled with the thought. “You had sex?”

  “Yes.”

  “You had sex with Marius.”

  “Yes.”

  Micah stared at me, the pregnancy doing its magic and glistening her already rich, cocoa skin. Her delicate fingers tangled in her curls. Quitting her job had softened her. She abandoned her usual bun in favor of the delicate ponytail instead.

  “You.” She pointed at me. “Had sex.” She gestured into the den behind her. “With that?”

  “I was very drunk.”

  “I think you still are.” Micah frowned. “I don’t remember you coming here last night.”

  “Prince Charming took his carriage to my house.”

  “Are you sure—”

  “Micah, I don’t need girl talk. Just damage control. I can handle this.”

  A drunken night together gave me the permission I needed to enter his room without knocking. I burst through the entry, crossed my arms, and realized why it wasn’t a good idea to startle a Navy SEAL.

  Marius lurched off the couch, armed himself with a lamp, and crashed awkwardly into the coffee table as he’d forgotten to attach his leg. He tossed the lamp aside, but it crashed to the floor. Shards of glass embedded in his good foot, and he swore as he landed on his ass, eyes wide.

  “What the hell are you doing?” He brushed the glass off his foot and ignored a bloody cut. “I know you’re interested, but give a man a little warning before you barge into his bedroom.”

  Marius must’ve never worn a shirt. The boxers were just as nice though. Silken. Thin. Hardly containing a bulge that followed the soldier to attention. He didn’t need the prosthetic. He was already growing a third leg.

  Sweat slickened his heavy muscles. His chest heaved. Shocked awake. I was lucky he only armed himself with the lamp. Every part of him flexed, hard and tempting. He stared at me, eyes a camo green, slowly warming is he gazed over my curves.

  “Couldn’t stay away, could you?” He grinned. “I knew you’d be back.”

  “Can you blame me?”

  Marius relaxed on the couch. Arms out. An invitation?

  He had a lot of nerve.

  “Knew you couldn’t resist,” he said.

  “Were you asleep?”

  “Had a long night.”

  Very funny. The bastard couldn’t even stay a couple extra hours in my bed? “And you thought you’d sleep here?”

  “Where else would I sleep?”

  I didn’t feel like playing games. “With me?”

  Marius laughed. “You really don’t bullshit, do you? At least you get what you want.”

  He was unbelievable. Selfish and inconsiderate. He didn’t even stay to talk about what happened. Couldn’t care less. Took what he wanted and left.

  “I thought you would have a bit of class.” I crossed my arms. “I should’ve known better.”

  Marius laughed. “You want to tell me what’s got your panties in a wad?”

  I scowled. “I think a lot clearer when I’m wearing them.”

  He didn’t disagree. “Most people do.”

  “So, is that your game?” I asked. “Have a little fun? Fool around for a while? Then leave?”

  Marius frowned. “What?”

  I couldn’t even look at him. I bent down and called Ambrose to my side. I slipped the tie from around his neck and tossed it at the most infuriating man in the universe.

  “Here.” He could choke on it. “You left this at my place.”

  Marius twisted the tie in his hands. Frowned. He held it up. “What the hel
l makes you think I’m the kind of guy who wears a tie?

  “Very funny.”

  “Look, sweetness, I don’t know what side of the bed you woke up on this morning—”

  “You wouldn’t, would you?” I would throttle him if I hadn’t already sworn never to lay hands on him again. “You’re not innocent in this. Don’t you see anything wrong with your behavior?”

  Marius raised his eyebrows. “Believe me, I’ve done a lot of shit in my time. It’s not all been good. It’s not all been honorable. But I own that. You want to tell me what this is all about?”

  I’d never met a man so frustratingly arrogant before. It served me right for letting anyone so coarse, aggressive, and uncivilized into my bed.

  For as long as I could remember, I’d told myself that I would fall in love at first sight, just like my mother and father did. I would find the man of my dreams, and that the connection would be instant. From that moment forward our lives would instantly change for the better. We would be happy.

  We’d be together.

  And then I wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.

  Then again, feeling alone was preferable to being an idiot. An idiot with a raging headache, a heavy heart, and a blood alcohol level that would prevent me from driving a car.

  “You know,” I said. “I knew you were just an arrogant prick. But I still thought you were cute.”

  Marius tucked his arms behind his head, stretching his glorious muscles. “That so?”

  “Obviously.”

  “Not so obvious.”

  Great. Now he insulted me. Did he think I did this with every guy I met?

  “It was my own damned fault,” I said. “I knew you were dangerous.”

  It offended him. “Dangerous.”

  “Yeah. Talking the way you were. Acting like you’re God’s gift to women. Like I should thank you for the opportunity to get into bed with you.”

  Marius shrugged. “Everyone likes a little gratitude.”

  “Well, I am not grateful. Not in the least.” I pointed out. “It was a mistake, and it won’t happen again. You understand me? I was vulnerable. Upset. And I was very, very drunk.”

  He rubbed his face. “Drunk?”

  How long had he gone without a woman? “You couldn’t tell? I guess I should be flattered that I’m not an embarrassing drunk.”

  “Not embarrassing. Just confusing.”

  “You are such an asshole.”

  He leaned forward. His eyes narrowed, dark and piercing. “I don’t doubt that, but maybe you can help me out here. What exactly did I do that made me such an asshole?”

  “Are you serious?”

  “A man deserves the opportunity to defend himself.”

  After what he did? Hardly. “Look, I get that this is something men do without a second thought. And I know men aren’t nearly as sentimental about these things, but I don’t want you thinking about me that way. I am not that kind of girl.”

  “What kind of girl?”

  “The kind who has one-night stands.”

  “You made that clear yesterday.”

  “And what we did yesterday was absolutely wrong.”

  Marius laughed. “Having a conversation?”

  “No. Making love.”

  Marius blinked hard before a deep, grumbling, caramel laugh consumed him. The sound tickled me from head to toe, and it warmed everything in between. I regretted not remembering anything of last night.

  Then again, how good could it have been if I didn’t remember it?

  Maybe that was a blessing in disguise, for me and Marius.

  His words were lost in hysterics. “You think I make love?”

  I wasn’t in the mood for this. “Fine. Whatever you want to call it. We fucked.”

  He didn’t stop laughing. “Was it good for you?”

  “Are you serious?”

  “I always want to make sure my lady has a good time.”

  Why did I even bother? “It doesn’t matter. Because from now on? We're going to pretend like it never happened.”

  “Shouldn’t be a problem,” he said.

  “But you should know I am utterly humiliated.”

  “No reason for that,” Marius said. He winked. “You will be humiliated, but you don’t have to be now.”

  The last thing I needed was for this man to tell me how I should or shouldn’t feel. “I’m in a bad place right now. I think you can understand that.”

  “Why? I’m having a good day. I just got laid apparently.”

  “I’m not dealing with my father’s wedding very well.” I’d already had sex with him. A little honesty wouldn’t harm anyone. “And it’s not because my dad doesn’t deserve happiness. I want him to have a good life and a good retirement, but I don’t think his bride has good intentions. Now that’s my problem, not yours. But I had to find out what kind of person she was, and that meant going to the bachelorette party. So I did. And then I felt terrible because she actually seems like a pretty nice girl. But then she started talking about the possibility of children, and that’s when I consumed all the alcohol.”

  “And that’s when you got it in your head to call me?”

  I gritted my teeth. “I know how stupid it was. I’m not a girl who just jumps into bed with people. I’m looking for real romance. And there’s no shame in that. I want to meet somebody, fall madly in love, and make reckless decisions.”

  “Don’t let me stand in the way of your dreams.” Marius winked. “As long as I get the star in them.”

  “Well, that’s the problem, isn’t it? You already are. Yesterday, there you were. This gorgeous man. Talking to me. Flirting with me. So, of course, when I get a little frustrated, and a lot drunk, my first thought is to alleviate my frustrations with the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.”

  He smiled. “You think I’m sexy?”

  “I figured that was obvious.”

  “You’d be surprised.”

  Why was he making this so much harder? “Look, I would appreciate it if you would just wipe what happened last night from your memory.”

  “I think you already did, sweetness.”

  “I’m trying.”

  “You don’t have to try that hard.”

  I groaned. “Can you please take this seriously?”

  He leaned forward, giving me a shrug. “Why don’t you tell me what happened from the beginning. Pretend I wasn’t there.”

  Great. Now he wanted the color commentary. Reliving his night of conquest? That was more pathetic than leaving in the morning.

  “You came over,” I said. “We opened a bottle of wine. Made a grilled cheese sandwich. Had sex. Then you left without a goodbye.”

  “Grilled cheese, huh?”

  “And you left the door open.”

  “How inconsiderate of me.” He interrupted me with a raised hand, his eyes glowing a mischievous, impish green. “So, let me get this straight. You’re saying that a Navy SEAL who had been overseas and embedded with a squad of men for the past six months, a man who very nearly died, a man who has only been touched by nurses for the past three months, a man who is given an opportunity to fuck an absolutely beautiful woman, would, on his own volition, leave in the morning without so much as a morning kiss ? You think that a desperate, lonely, eager man—looking for his first score in months—would sneak out after only one night of sex?”

  I pouted. “Probably because you knew I wouldn’t give you another go round.”

  Marius shook his head. “Gretchen, I’ve heard of people being blackout drunk, but I’ve never heard of hallucinations. What the hell did you drink last night?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I need to ask you the same question. Do you honestly think I came over to your house, had a glass of wine, ate a grilled cheese sandwich, had sex with you, and left without a word?” He held my stare. “Sweetness, listen to me carefully. I wasn’t at your house last night.”

  “Of course, you were.”

  He pointed t
o my dog. “That’s not my tie.”

  Oh no.

  “It’s not?”

  “You didn’t call me. I didn’t come over. You didn’t seduce me. You certainly didn’t make me a grilled cheese sandwich.” He winked. “And, believe me, if I had come over, beautiful. You would have remembered every last second of my fucking. And there’s no way in hell I would ever leave a woman as sexy as you naked in bed without another taste.”

  Uh-oh.

  I stepped back and collided with my newfound shame. “So, you weren’t at my house yesterday?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “We didn’t have sex?”

  He snorted. “Do you feel like you’re satisfied?”

  “Not in the least.”

  His smile was a grenade, and I’d pulled the pin. “Then I can guarantee, if I’d been over your place last night, there’s no way you be out of bed yet. No way you’d be sitting down today either. Your voice would be hoarse from screaming my name. Your body would be a mess of sweat and cream. And I would have fucked some very good memories into you.” He licked his lip. “Gotta say, sweetness. That’s one hell of a fantasy you had last night. Sorry I wasn’t a part of it.”

  And that’s when the night came back to me.

  An hour too late to make a difference.

  The limo ride with a passed-out Chloe. Our frolick through Butterpond with half of the bridesmaids, Ambrose, and a bottle of wine. A detour through someone’s house. Peacocks. Suiting up Ambrose in the tie after painting his nails. We’d made him ring bearer just before the vomiting began.

  I squeezed my eyes shut. My favorite part of the night came roaring back.

  Going home, super alone and depressed.

  The best combination.

  I’d almost been desperate enough to dial the number my phone, but I’d made the sandwich instead. At the time, I’d pledged myself to that sandwich and only that sandwich.

  Also the wine.

  And, of course, like everything else in my life, it was gone in a few minutes.

  That’s when I went to sleep.

  That’s when I fabricated an elaborate fantasy with a man who not only realized how insane I was but also now knew exactly how much I wanted him.