by Sophie Stern
When she pulls away, I look around the room and see that everyone else has disappeared. I didn’t even hear them leave. It’s just the two of us now, alone in my office, and the room feels hot and cold at the same time. I feel like I’m on fire and frozen in place. I feel like I’m falling and soaring.
I reach for Tina’s cheek and touch her. She leans into my hand, nuzzling against me.
“Your skin is so soft,” I whisper, and Tina lets out a soft little moan of contentment. I don’t think she knows she made it because she’s not embarrassed or shy in this moment. She’s just happy. She’s just peaceful.
Then Tina does something I don’t expect. She reaches for my cheek and runs her hand over my jaw. The gesture isn’t slutty or erotic. She’s not asking me for anything but this moment. She touches me, running her fingers over the edge of my jaw and back up the other side.
“You didn’t shave this morning,” she whispers.
“I’m not much of a morning person,” I admit.
“You got up early just for me.”
“I would do anything for you,” I whisper, letting the words slip from my lips before I can catch them. I shouldn’t have said that, but I won’t lie to her. I don’t know why I feel this strange connection with Tina, but I do. I don’t know why I feel so safe or comfortable with her, but I do. There’s something about her that just makes me feel complete, and I want to explore this feeling. I want to bottle it up and keep it forever.
I want her.
The realization hits me suddenly that maybe, just maybe, my inner-bear is right. Perhaps Tina is my mate. I’ve never really believed in the fairytales. I’ve never really bought the idea that each shifter has one perfect mate just for him or her. That’s never really been mine thing, but Tina is incredible.
She’s pretty.
She’s sweet.
She’s kind.
And she’s gentle.
She’s so, so gentle.
As a little cub, I never knew what it meant to be loved. I never knew what it meant to be cared for. My parents divorced when I was small and I ended up in a foster home. I went from home to home until I finally landed in my “forever” home at age 12. Then, and only then, did I learn what it meant to be a family.
The family who adopted me, the Fees, were caring and kind, and they did everything they could for me. Without them, I would have ended up on the streets or in jail, but they kept me in line and they guided me to a strong future.
I want that for Tina’s baby.
I want her little boy to have a family, to have strong people who will look after him. Her ex, Chester, won’t do that for her. He’s manipulative and selfish. It’s obvious.
And now, as I let Tina run her hands over me, I realize that I really would do anything for her.
She could ask me to steal the moon and I’d fucking do it because she’s incredible.
“I’m sorry,” she pulls her hand back slowly, but she doesn’t sound sorry. “This is inappropriate. I shouldn’t be pawing all over you.”
“Don’t stop,” I whisper. My hands are on her waist and I pull her a little bit closer. I run my hand down her back and back up again. She leans into me, pressing her breasts against my chest, and the word mate echoes in my head.
“It’s not right,” she whispers, but she doesn’t sound like she really cares. “It’s wrong.”
“Are you trying to convince yourself, sweetie?”
“Yes.”
“You can do whatever you like to me. I won’t complain.”
“You must have clients throw themselves at you all the time,” Tina whispers. Somehow, the room has gone silent. It seems like whispering is essential. It’s only the two of us here, but speaking loudly seems wrong somehow.
“It’s never been a temptation before.”
“Am I tempting you, Mr. Fee?”
“You have no idea, beautiful.”
“You’re doing so much for me,” she says, “and I don’t know how to thank you. I can never repay you for what you’re doing, but can I ask you for just one more thing before I go?”
“Anything.”
“A kiss,” Tina says. “I want a kiss, Mr. Fee.”
“Call me Landon.”
“Landon, will you kiss me before I go?”
I could never turn down a request like that. I don’t know what Tina’s life has been like. I don’t know if her ex romanced her or wooed her before they were married, or if they just fell into a comfortable companionship that didn’t end. I’m not sure. What I do know is that I’m not turning down the chance to get my lips on her.
I pull Tina closer to me and I lower my mouth to hers. She kisses me eagerly, sweetly, like all the sunshine in the world. She’s perfect, and the kiss is perfect, and I’ll remember it for the rest of my life, and then it’s over.
She pulls away after a moment and smiles shyly at me.
“I should go now,” she whispers.
“You don’t have to.”
“But I should.”
I squeeze her hand and look at her for one more minute. She’s blushing, but she’s lovely, and I can’t wait until I get to see her again. I need to see her again. It can’t be just this one kiss.
“I’ll call you with updates,” I promise, and she nods. Then Tina Miller grabs her purse and walks out of my office without so much as a backwards glance.
Chapter 5
Tina
There’s a certain way single mothers are supposed to behave.
That wasn’t it.
I wasn’t supposed to kiss him.
I wasn’t supposed to touch him.
I wasn’t supposed to become aroused by him.
It’s not appropriate behavior between a lawyer and a client. It’s not appropriate behavior for strangers at all.
And yet, when I leave Landon Fee’s office and walk down the hallway, I don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. I don’t feel upset. I don’t feel anything but happiness. I don’t feel anything but satisfaction.
The hallway is empty as I make my way back to the front foyer. Joyce appears just as I reach the front door.
“Well?” She says excitedly. “What happened?”
“Oh, Joyce,” I give her a hug. “He’s taking my case. He’s going to help me. Thank you so much. Seriously, I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here to help me. I was completely panicking, but now, I just…I don’t know, you know? I feel better. Hopeful.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she wiggles her eyebrows at me. “Did you make out with him?”
“What?” I blush violently. Violently. For real. I feel my cheeks burning brightly as my eyes go wide. Did she really just ask me that?
“My boss,” she says, leaning casually against the wall. She crosses her ankles and somehow looks even taller, even longer. I don’t know how she stands in her stilettos, but Joyce makes every other woman in the world look like a frumpy little kid. She’s got a grace that no one else seems to possess. “Did you two fool around?”
“No,” I say, but it comes out as a whisper. Joyce just laughs.
“I’m not judging you, sweetie. You deserve to have a little fun, and Landon is a good guy.”
Now it’s my turn to look at her questioningly. “Are you two…together?” I ask suddenly, hoping I didn’t step into something I’m not ready for.
Joyce laughs loudly. “For dragon’s sake, woman! No! Are you kidding? I don’t sleep with my bosses.” She flips her hair over her shoulder and smiles. “Not that they wouldn’t if I offered. I’m very good.”
“Oh, good,” I whisper, and Joyce pats my shoulder.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” she says. “I promise.”
With that, I head to my car and get in. I have to pick up Blake from my mother’s house. I’m still nervous about leaving him with other people. I’m going to have to get over that quickly because soon he’ll be starting daycare and I’ll be going back to work. Today was the first day I’ve left him with someone, but I di
dn’t really think it was appropriate to bring him to the lawyer’s place.
After all, it was supposed to be a professional meeting. I’m still uncomfortable being a divorced woman. I still haven’t quite managed to make myself own the title of “divorcee” yet. I need to. I need to be more confident, but I’m not.
At least, I wasn’t until I was alone with Mr. Fee.
And then something sparked inside of me, something I thought I’d lost long ago.
I don’t know what it is about him, but some part of me came alive. Some part of me that had been sleeping for a very, very long time seemed to flicker back to life, and suddenly, I’m not as scared as I was when I walked into his office.
Suddenly, I’m not as worried.
Suddenly, I feel like everything is going to be okay.
When I get to my mother’s house, I hurry inside. She’s sitting on the couch holding Blake, who is asleep.
“Oh, good!” Mom smiles and wiggles her fingers at me, but doesn’t get up. “You’re home! I was just thinking of you, sweetie. How was your doctor’s appointment?”
I didn’t tell my mother about Chester because I don’t want her to worry. She doesn’t even know the real reason we got divorced because I was so humiliated by what he did. I shouldn’t be embarrassed. I was the wronged party, after all, but I am.
I shouldn’t be lying to my mom. I’m an adult, after all. We both are, and I should be able to tell her the truth without it being a big deal, but there’s a part of me that doesn’t want her to worry. I know she’s afraid I’m never going to find a good man. I know she’s nervous that I won’t do a good job raising Blake on my own. She doesn’t say it, but she doesn’t have to.
There’s a part of me that worries about those things, too, but I push that fear aside because right now, the most important thing is taking good care of my little guy. My baby needs me, so I need to focus on him right now: not on anything else.
“Oh, it was fine,” I tell her, sitting down next to her. I don’t take Blake from her arms. He’s sleeping so peacefully and I learned pretty quickly that it’s a bad idea to wake a sleeping baby. If I wake him up before he’s ready, he’s going to be cranky, and no amount of nursing or rocking or singing is going to calm my little guy down. “How did everything go with Blake?”
“He was a perfect angel,” my mother says. She smiles down at him, and I feel a rush of joy. She’s an incredible grandmother. I know she’s been wanting to watch him for awhile, but I was scared to leave him. Now that I can see with my own eyes that he’s okay, maybe it’ll be easier for me to leave him again.
There will come a point, I know, when I’m going to need some “me” time without the baby, and I’m lucky enough to have a mother who is willing to help me out. Now I just have to meet her halfway and be willing to leave my son with her, even if it’s only for a little while.
The thing about parenting is that it’s not all about me. It’s not just about my relationship with Blake. It’s also about my relationships with other people, and Blake’s relationships with them, too. I want Blake to grow up close to his grandparents. I want him to feel a connection with them. My parents visit Blake as often as they possibly can, and I appreciate that so much. I was close with my own grandparents growing up, and I want the same for my son.
“Did he nap a lot for you?”
“He practically slept the whole time. Your father fed him a bottle before leaving for work, and then little Blakey just passed right out.”
“Thanks for taking care of him today,” I pat my mother’s hand. She smiles at me. She’s got grey hair and wrinkles now, but she’s just as beautiful as when she was young. She’s wiser now, smarter. She’s stronger, and I love her.
“Sweetheart, I’ll do anything for you. You know that, don’t you?”
“I know, mom.”
“If you need anything,” Mom says softly. “You just ask me.”
And for the second time today, my heart soars because I’m starting to realize that I’m really not alone. Joyce totally pulled through for me when I needed her the most. She was there for me when I called and there for me today. She helped me in a real, tangible way.
And now my mother is offering to help me with anything I need. I know it’s not an empty offer, either. She’ll be there for me if I need help with laundry or babysitting or anything else. She’ll be ready at a moment’s notice to give me a ride or help out with Blake or just come over to talk.
And Landon, Mr. Amazing, was willing to take my case. I know that divorce problems aren’t cases he usually takes. I know he prefers adoptions and other family issues. Nobody likes facing divorce. The fact that he was willing to help me, though? That speaks volumes. That speaks to my heart.
And right now, as I sit with my mother and my new little boy, I don’t think my heart has ever felt more full.
I don’t think it’s ever felt more complete.
If only this feeling could last.
Chapter 6
Landon
I’m busy with current clients for the next few days. I have back-to-back meetings all day and then I volunteer after work. I help tutor kids in the community for a few hours three nights a week. A lot of kids need extra help with their homework, but their parents either don’t have the time or the skills to help them. I don’t have a family of my own, so I have plenty of free time to play the tutor.
It’s hard work, but it’s rewarding. Knowing that I’m helping the next generation makes me feel like I’m really making a difference in the world, and that’s an incredible feeling.
By the time the weekend arrives, though, I’m completely exhausted. Still, when Casa and Lara go out for dinner, I can’t help but wishing I had a date, too.
I haven’t called Tina because I don’t want to scare the hell out of her. Part of me thinks I probably already scared her away. She came to me for help, after all. She didn’t come looking for a boyfriend or a sugar daddy.
After sitting around thinking about it all day, I finally decide to ask Joyce for help. She always seems to know what to do.
I head downstairs. Joyce is in her office today, which is unusual. Typically, she takes Saturdays and Sundays off and uses that time to pursue her hobbies and interests. Sometimes she takes painting classes and sometimes she travels. She’s single, but she loves her life, and she lives it to the fullest.
Joyce is basically the most well-rounded, kindest, most adorable person I know.
She also scares the shit out of me because I know that if I hurt her friend, she’s going to kick my ass.
Still, I have to try.
I knock on the door to her office.
“Come on in, Fee,” she says.
“How’d you know it was me?” I pop my head in. She’s sitting at her desk, staring at her computer. Joyce looks up and just smirks.
“I smelled you, dumbass. Have a seat.” She motions to one of the chairs in front of her desk. Yeah, Joyce is our receptionist, but she’s much more than that. She handles all of our scheduling and client meetings. She organizes brunches and dinners and events. She handles billing and pays all of the utilities for the building itself. Hell, she even does most of our business taxes. She’s basically an essential part of what makes our law office run so efficiently, and that’s why we pay her a shitload of money.
I step inside and close the door behind me. Then I sit down in one of the softest, most comfortable chairs I’ve ever sat on in my life. What the hell?
“How come your seats are so nice?” I ask. She just looks at me. “The seats in my office aren’t this nice.”
“I special ordered them.”
“But the seats in my office are hard and uncomfortable.”
Joyce just blinks at me.
“Your seats are soft,” I repeat, sounding more than a little like a broken record.
“Your clients are typically assholes,” she says. “They don’t deserve special seats. Most of them spend their time with you on their feet, anyway. They’re a
lways pacing and walking around, touching stuff. When they come in here, it’s because they’re going to schedule another appointment and give me money. They should be comfortable for that part of the visit.”
“I guess that makes sense.” It doesn’t, really. I make a mental note to get better chairs.
“I don’t mean to be rude, Landon, but did you need something?” Joyce looks up at me and raises a perfectly waxed eyebrow. “I’m trying to finish this paperwork up so I can go to my wine class.”
“You’re taking a wine class?”
“I am.”
“What do you do at wine class?”
“I drink wine, Landon. Now spit it out.” She sounds exasperated at this point, and she’s rubbing her forehead with both hands.
“I really like Tina and I want to ask her out,” I spit out in one breath. Joyce just looks at me, so I keep talking. “She’s beautiful and special and sweet. She’s adorable, Joyce. She’s completely, utterly cute and I want to ask her on a date.”
“You want her for your mate,” Joyce says, but doesn’t move. Her face remains emotionless.
I swallow hard because this is the tough part. I don’t believe in mates, but Joyce does. So do my fellow attorneys. Ronan Casa recently met his life-mate and partner, Lara. He loves her more than anything else in the world and I’ve never seen him happier. Lyon is single because he’s a private, secretive son-of-a-bitch who can’t let anyone in. He still believes in soul mates.
Me, though?
Life couldn’t be that easy for me.
And no, I don’t believe in soul mates.
But I do believe in Tina.
“You know I don’t believe in mates, Joyce,” I decide to go with honesty. If I’m honest with Joyce, she’ll be honest with me.
“I know you don’t. That’s why asking her out is a terrible idea, Landon. She’s your client. You’re her lawyer. You’re helping her keep her son. Nothing more.”
“I want her, Joyce.”
“And I want a glass of white zinfandel, Fee. We can’t always get what we want.” She turns back to her computer and keeps typing, but I’m not done yet. This can’t be it. This can’t be over.