by Sophie Stern
I place my hands on the desk in front of me and lean forward. I’m a bear. I’m bumbly and I’m clumsy and I’m soft-hearted. I’m a little gentler than most of the shifters I know. I tend to ask questions first and fight later. I typically avoid fights altogether if I can, but I like Tina. She’s different. I like her a lot.
“You don’t understand.”
“Did you come in here to tell me what I don’t know or to ask for my advice?”
“I came to ask for your advice.”
“I gave it to you, Fee.”
“She’s perfect for me.”
Joyce sighs and pushes her chair away from her desk. She stands up and walks across the floor silently. When she rounds the desk, I notice that her shoes are off. She loves wearing those damn heels, but the second she’s alone, Joyce kicks them off and relaxes. We all know it, but no one bothers to call her out because we need her too damn much.
“Tina is going through a difficult time, Landon.”
“I understand.”
“No, you don’t. You weren’t there when he broke her heart. You weren’t there when she went into early labor. You weren’t there when she was on bed rest in the hospital. You weren’t there when she had to give birth alone because Chester is a useless piece of shit who couldn’t be bothered to show up. You weren’t there. You don’t know.”
“I’m not him, Joyce, and it seems to me that no one has ever bothered to show Tina what’s she worth. I could be that man. I could show her.”
“What would you show her, Landon? A good time? That’s not exactly what she needs right now.”
“I would show her more than that, Joyce, and you fucking know it.” I’m growling now, but I don’t care. I’m not going to let her win this one. I’m not going to let her get the best of me. “I would show her she’s special. I would show her she’s important, that she has value. I would show her that just because some piece of trash loser didn’t appreciate her, that doesn’t mean she’s worthless. She’s worth the stars, Joyce, and so much more. I would show her all of that. I would show her what it means to feel like a woman.”
Joyce is silent for a long moment. Then she walks over to where I’m sitting and she places her hands on my shoulders.
“Then do it, Landon.”
“What?” I must not have heard her correctly.
“Then do it. You’re right. No one has ever valued Tina. No man, anyway. I’m sure her parents love her well enough, but you and I both know that’s different.”
“But, you said-”
“I said what I said,” Joyce rolls her eyes. “Because I wanted to see if you’d be scared off. Obviously, you weren’t. Obviously, you’re not going to fuck with her. Obviously, you’re not garbage like her ex.”
“Joyce, I would never do anything to hurt her.”
She sighs and touches my cheek. It’s not a romantic or tender touch. It’s like a big sister comforting her little brother who’s nervous about asking the head cheerleader out to prom.
“Take care of her, Landon. She’s precious to me.”
Chapter 7
Tina
It’s past six when my doorbell rings. I glance up from the television show I’m watching with Blake. It’s much too late for a delivery and I’m not expecting company. One of my neighbors probably wants to borrow a cup of flour or something. Carefully, I place Blake in his swing and turn it on. Then I head over to the front door.
I don’t bother peeking before I pull open the door, but I should have, because I’m completely shocked when I see my lawyer standing there.
He’s in a suit, even.
“Mr. Fee?” I ask, surprised. My shock is followed immediately by regret when I realize that I haven’t showered all day, my hair is in a messy bun, and I’m pretty sure there’s spit-up on my shoulder.
I’m afraid to look.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as politely as I possibly can without freaking out at the unexpected visitor.
“I, um, hello,” he says nervously. I wait for a second, wondering if he’s going to keep talking. He seems anxious, which is strange because in his office, he was completely, totally put-together.
After a minute, Landon takes a deep breath. He seems to steel himself, and then he looks at me and smiles.
“I came to ask if you would like to have dinner with me.”
“You came all the way over to ask me that?” I’m completely surprised, but also completely flattered.
Landon is hot.
Super hot.
Super, totally, completely out-of-my-league hot.
“It didn’t seem appropriate to call,” he says. “I was…I was worried you’d think I was behaving inappropriately.”
And that’s when it hits me.
Landon isn’t just some classy, out-of-my-league lawyer. He’s a real person, a real man, who has real feelings and real needs. He’s just as worried and nervous about rejection as I am, but he still came over. He drove all the way to my house to ask me on a date, and it’s kind of completely romantic.
It’s old-school romance that I didn’t even know existed anymore.
“I’d love to have dinner with you,” I tell him. “When are you thinking?”
“Tonight,” he says quickly. “Now.”
I lean against the doorframe and look him over. Yeah, he’s definitely dressed for an evening out. He looks incredible. His hair is styled and his suit is perfect. He fills it out well, too. He’s hot and nice. How the hell did I catch the eye of someone like this?
“Landon, I haven’t showered since yesterday, I’m covered in baby spit-up, and I’ve got about an hour before my kid is going to want to nurse again.”
His face drops for just a second, and I can just see him starting to inwardly berate himself for asking me out on a spontaneous date, only to be shot down.
I take a deep breath. “So why don’t you come inside? I’ll order pizza and then hop in the shower. It should be here by the time I’m done. I’ve got some wine we can drink while we eat and we can throw on a movie.”
His eyes light up when I start talking, and I kind of love the way his features come alive like that. I’ve never met anyone who was as animated or as fantastic as Landon. He’s really curious. He’s something else altogether. I can’t really pinpoint exactly what it is that makes him so different except that he’s just so kind.
Landon makes a strange lawyer because I sort of think he secretly has a heart of gold. Oh, he does a pretty good job of keeping it hidden, but I’m not dumb. I know a good person when I see one, and Landon? He’s an angel.
“That sounds incredible.”
“Please come in.”
He steps inside and looks around.
“Shoes can go there,” I point to a spot by the door, and he quickly takes his shoes off. I don’t apologize for the toys thrown around the room, the baby equipment, or the stack of mail on the coffee table. This is my life now. I’m not going to feel guilty because I have a child. I’m not going to feel upset or ashamed that I don’t always keep up with everything. It would be incredible if I could be super-mom, but I’m not, and I think the sooner that’s understood, the better it will be for all of us.
Landon follows me into the living room and sits down on the couch. Blake peers at him from the swing, but doesn’t move or fuss.
“This is your little guy,” Landon says, smiling at Blake. He waves.
“Blake,” I tell him. “He’s two months old now. Getting big.”
“Hey, Blake,” Landon wiggles his fingers at Blake.
“Do you want to hold him?”
“Uh, yeah,” Landon says, looking a little shy. “Is that okay?”
“Of course,” I tell him. I pick up my son and carry him to Landon. Then I hand him over. Landon is so big, so fierce compared to my child. Blake’s little body is so tiny compared to Landon’s huge one. My son looks like a doll in his arms.
Landon is gentle when he takes Blake from me. He holds him and gently rubs his tumm
y with one big finger.
“Hi baby,” Landon says.
Blake just looks at him with big, wide eyes.
“We don’t get many visitors,” I explain. “Only Joyce and my parents, really.” It sounds kind of pathetic when I say it out loud, but it’s the truth. I’m going to have to go back to work very soon and part of me worries I’ve completely forgotten how to be a normal person and interact with adults.
Most of my day consists of changing diapers, feeding Blake, and singing songs. I’m not sure I’m going to have an easy time transitioning back into my professional life.
“He’s sweet,” Landon says. He looks from Blake to me and back again. “And he looks like you.”
“Thanks,” I blush. No one has said that yet and part of me was starting to worry Blake would only look like Chester, and not like me. It might be selfish, but I kind of want my son to look a little bit like me, too. “I kind of think he has my nose.”
“And your eyes,” Landon points out. He turns back to Blake and just stares at him like he’s the most beautiful, most interesting creature Landon has ever seen, and it warms my heart.
He’s looking at Blake the way a father should look at his child.
He’s looking at Blake like my child is valuable, important.
He’s looking at Blake and it makes me feel like my whole world is complete.
“What kind of pizza do you want?” I ask, trying to get things back to normal, trying to re-center myself.
“Pepperoni,” Landon answers easily. He winks at me. “Do they even make other flavors of pizza?”
“Dude, really? Just plain pepperoni? You don’t want a super meaty pizza or pineapple pizza or a vegetarian pizza?”
“Vegetables belong in gardens, Tina.”
I can’t help myself. I laugh. Landon seriously looks offended that I even suggested a different type of pizza.
“Alright,” I smile, grabbing my phone. I pull up my pizza app. Yes, I totally have an app for ordering pizza. I’m way too lazy to bother calling. I do everything on my computer or phone if I can help it. “Look,” I turn the phone around so he can see it. “There’s a special today. When you buy two pizzas, it’s free delivery and free breadsticks.”
“Let’s do it,” he says, and I place the order.
When I’m finished, I realize Landon is still holding Blake, only now, Blake’s tiny fingers are wrapped around Landon’s thumb.
“He likes you,” I point out. Landon just shrugs.
“He’s little. He doesn’t know what he likes yet.”
“Trust me. He’s very opinionated.”
“You should go shower,” Landon smiles at me. “I’ll keep an eye on Blake.”
“You sure you don’t mind? It’s kind of crappy, you know. I invite you for dinner and then just ditch you with my kid.”
Landon stands up, still holding Blake, and walks over to me. Then he plants a gentle kiss on my forehead and looks down at me.
“You’re perfect, Tina, and I believe I was the one who invited you for dinner, carelessly forgetting you couldn’t just get a babysitter on short notice or that your baby might be too young for a sitter. Please forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” I whisper, and it’s true.
“Go shower, princess. I’ll be right here when you get back.”
Chapter 8
Landon
The minute Tina is out of the room, I start to worry. What am I going to do if the baby cries? What am I going to do if he needs something? I’m a shifter. I know how to take care of cubs, yeah, but human babies? Those are different.
This whole situation is different.
I should have thought about it before I just came over and bothered her. I really messed up just showing up and asking for an impromptu date. I just didn’t want to call and ask over the phone. I’m not sure why, but it feels impersonal. Texting would be even worse. Part of me is glad I came and asked Tina, but part of me feels bad. I didn’t mean to make her feel uncomfortable for having a little one around.
Blake makes a noise and instantly, I look at him. He’s just watching me. His hands move and he touches me. I hold him up and he coos at me.
I coo back.
Then I start making silly faces.
Then I start singing him a song.
It’s a song my mother used to sing to me, long ago when I was a little cub. I don’t think I’m even getting half of the words right, but somehow, it seems appropriate to sing to this little guy.
Soon I’m standing, walking around the living room, bouncing him softly as he falls back to sleep. Holding this little miracle is incredible to me. No, he hasn’t had the easiest life so far, and if the drama with his father continues, he’ll have problems as he gets older, but Tina loves him more than anything else in the world. He’s so incredibly lucky to have her as a mom. He couldn’t ask for a better parent.
And then he’s asleep.
I carry him to the bassinet that’s beside the couch. I’m guessing Tina sleeps in the living room with him. Maybe it makes nursing easier at night or maybe she just doesn’t want to sleep upstairs. I’m not sure. It’s a two-story house, so surely, there must be bedrooms upstairs.
Then, as Blake sleeps, I start tidying up the house. It’s probably really weird. I know this. It’s not normal to come over to someone’s house and then clean, but I’m filled with this urge to help Tina as much as I can.
Her house isn’t dirty. It’s just messy. She’s a busy mother, after all. She doesn’t have time to do all of this herself, and you know what? She shouldn’t have to. Tidying up is a really simple thing, and I walk around, cleaning up boxes of baby wipes and putting away glasses and dishes.
By the time Tina comes down from her shower, the pizza has arrived and is sitting on the coffee table, along with a bottle of wine I found in her fridge.
“Landon,” she whispers, looking around the spotless living room. “You cleaned my house.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, but she just comes over and wraps her arms around me.
“Thank you,” she says. “That was really, really nice of you.”
I hug Tina back, happy to have the contact with her. Touching her feels nice, normal. It feels comfortable. I usually avoid touching my clients at all costs. During an emotional, stressful time, it’s easy to make poor decisions and later regret those choices. I do not need a sexual harassment case of my own to deal with, so I keep to myself.
I’m breaking every rule in the book when it comes to Tina, but I can’t bring myself to stop. She’s different, and I wonder if she really is my mate. I wonder if something between us could actually work. I wonder if there’s any chance we could be together.
Before I have a chance to get ahead of myself, she pulls away and sits down on the couch.
“Pizza?” She asks, opening a box, and I grin.
“Of course. It’s why I came here.”
“I thought you came here for my sweet booty,” she wiggles her eyebrows at me.
“I’m not going to lie, Tina,” I look at her seriously because this is a serious moment. “You’re fucking gorgeous. I would love to spend a night making love to you, but that’s not why I asked you out. I want to get to know you, too, on a deeper level than just sex.”
“That sounds like a line.”
“Then why are you blushing?”
“Because I like lines.”
I sit down next to her on the couch and scoot close. She smells amazing. She’s wearing a light pink sundress that brings out her eyes and makes her skin practically glow. Running my hand down her cheek, I bring my lips to hers. Softly, gently, I kiss Tina on the couch.
Then I pull away.
“I just wanted to get that out of the way,” I whisper. “I couldn’t stand waiting another moment to kiss you.”
“Don’t stop,” she says, and kisses me again. She wraps her arms around my neck and brings her mouth to mine. She’s tender, but passionate, and she makes me feel like she wants me, l
ike she needs me.
Mate, my heart screams, but I try to ignore it so I can enjoy the moment. Every time she touches me, I feel like I’m going to explode. Each touch seems more electric than the next. Each touch seems to last an eternity.
And then she pulls away and smiles.
“You’re really something, Mr. Fee,” she whispers.
“Landon.”
“Landon. You’re not really what I expected.”
“What did you expect?”
“Well, most lawyers are stiff and proper, aren’t they?”
“So I’ve heard.”
“And most lawyers don’t make out with their clients.”
“I guess I missed the memo.”
“And most lawyers don’t make me feel like I can fly.”
Her words hang in the air for a long second. I’m just about to kiss her again when a cry from the bassinet breaks into the moment.
“Oh, Blakey,” she whispers, and quickly hops up to get him.
“What can I do to help?” I ask, looking around.
“He’s fine. Just needs a change,” Tina seems to have everything under control. She spreads a blanket on the floor and sits down with Blake to change his diaper. Then she settles onto the couch with him in her arms and looks longingly at the pizza.
“So,” she says. “Pizza?”
Chapter 9
Tina
I won’t say it was an awkward first date, but it wasn’t really what I expected. Then again, I’m not totally sure what I expected. I haven’t been on a date since the divorce, haven’t been on a date in years at all.
At 26, I’m not exactly young, but I’m not old, either. I just happen to be divorced already and have a kid. You might say I’m ahead of the game, in some ways. Maybe.
The thing about Landon is that he doesn’t make me feel lame for being divorced. He doesn’t make me feel like there’s anything wrong with me. Obviously, my marriage wasn’t perfect. We were pretty much doomed from the start, if I’m honest. Sometimes, I question whether I’ll ever be able to find love again. I wonder whether anyone will find me valuable and whether they’ll find me worth loving.